all time favorite social blunders

[waltappel 1]

Yes, I really am this socially retarded.

First one. I was at a party, when these girl and guy walk in. The girl was on crutches and I asked her if she broke her leg. As the very last part of the last syllable came out of my retarded mouth, I noticed she was missing a foot.

Whoops!!!


Second. I told my mother I had decided to quit smoking (use your imagination here). Her reply? "I didn't know you did that!"

Heh heh.


Post your personal favorite awkward moments!


Walt

[SkiD_PL8 0]

Getting someones gender wrong is by far the worst. Brian Regan did a skit on it that was hilarious. Oh, and asking someone how far along they are when in reality they are just fat.

Greenie in training.

[pincheck 0]

yeeeeeeh i aint the only fuckwit on the planet

Billy-Sonic Haggis Flickr-Fun

[WatchYourStep 0]

I was at my Aunt's funeral about 10 years ago. Some of my cousins asked me how I was doing because we hadn't seen each other in a while. My response "Still living." Doh. It's a normal response I use, but I didn't even think about the surrounding until it came out of my mouth.

"You start off your skydiving career with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience up before your bag of luck runs out."

[markd_nscr986 0]

Well...........I saw someone else do this one..........

Never ask a woman when her baby is due.........she may not be pregnant

Marc SCR 6046 SCS 3004

[GTAVercetti 0]

Quote

Getting someones gender wrong is by far the worst. Brian Reegan did a skit on it that was hilarious. Oh, and asking someone how far along they are when in reality they are just fat.

Brian Regan fucking rules.

His pop tart thing is awesome. And the trifocals:

Hey, its an ant!
Its a plane!

ITS ALPHA CENTAURI!!!!


Anyway....

biggest social blunder. hmmmm, I have to think about it.

Why yes, my license number is a palindrome. Thank you for noticing.

[AlexCrowley 0]

I was working as a barman back in another life and was trading pleasant insults back and forth with two guys.

My, like Walt's, story - I told the guy to stand up at the bar and show me some respect and from the look on his face I realized that leaning forward so I could see the other side would reveal a nice shiny wheelchair.

Also:

Recent conversation with an inlaw I'd just met:

Her : Oh I'm english too.

Me: Oh you're not one of those idiots who's family arrived six hundred years ago are you?

Her: My family arrived on the Mayflower.

Me: shit. Get me another drink.

Actually I tend to do that sort of thing a lot now I think about it...

and..

there was this time that I tried anonymizing a picture of myself but didnt take the mirror into account.

Actually my life is my all time favorite social blunder.

TV's got them images, TV's got them all, nothing's shocking.

[Ashtanga 0]

Quote

Brian Reegan did a skit on it that was hilarious.

Small world. Brian is a friend of mine and we were in a Fantasy Football League together. The name of his team was "Puffy Clouds". The guy is the funniest man in the world but quiet when not on stage.

[masterrig 1]

This didn't happen to me but... Years ago, a real good buddy of mine was home from the Navy. It was Thanksgiving. Family and friends gathered around the table for the usual turkey dinner. As he passed the green-beans he just barked-out; "Somebody, pass the 'bull-fuck (gravy)"! He told me later, he coulda' crawled under the rug and never made a lump in it!


Chuck

[scaryshari 0]

Years ago, while visiting my brand new father-n-law, he was showing me pictures of his daughter who I had not met.

I noticed that her tummy was disproportional to the rest of her and asked "wow! You are gonna be a grandfather! How far along is she?"

Okay...you know what the answer was...

To say the least he didn't appreciate my question

"SO THERE I WAS" Once again in a long string of my own "open mouth insert foot" stories.

is

[Dougiefresh 0]

Quote

Brian Regan fucking rules.

His pop tart thing is awesome. And the trifocals:

Hey, its an ant!
Its a plane!

ITS ALPHA CENTAURI!!!!

The big yellow one's the sun!

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. --Douglas Adams

[BillyVance 34]

Quote

This didn't happen to me but... Years ago, a real good buddy of mine was home from the Navy. It was Thanksgiving. Family and friends gathered around the table for the usual turkey dinner. As he passed the green-beans he just barked-out; "Somebody, pass the 'bull-fuck (gravy)"! He told me later, he coulda' crawled under the rug and never made a lump in it!

Chuck

Bwwaaaaa!!! It's hard to convert on a dime from the profanity-laced military to a goody-two-shoes home served dinner with family...

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[scaryshari 0]

EEEEEEEW!!! Now I'll NEVER eat gravy again....never, ever, ever!!

is

[waltappel 1]

Years ago I was working at a facility for retarded people (at the time I had absolutely no clue as to just how incredibly ironic that was). I was a nurse and on my way out of the nurses' office. One of the retards, who was well known for sudden violent outbursts was leaning in the doorway talking to me. As I shut the door, he started screaming like a banshee!!!

Naturally, I wanted to get the door shut and locked quickly so I could have my hands free to restrain him if necessary.

Something was interfering with me getting the door shut, so I pulled really, really hard. His screaming got really loud at this point.

You guessed it. I finally realized that his fingers were caught in the door jam and I was mashing the hell out of them by trying to shut the door. It hadn't been a sudden violent outburst at all--it was PAIN!!!

Yeow!!!!

Walt

[BillyVance 34]

ow!!!

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[masterrig 1]

I was recently at a wedding and got there a little early to help get things ready for the caterers. This ol' boy stops me to 'talk' while I'm trying to get outside, 'cause I'm holding back one of the biggest farts known to man. Well, I didn't want to be im-polite to the old man so I stood there visitin'. Meanwhile, I'm holdin' back just as hard as I can and I know, my complexion is a deep blue by this time. Finally! He says he'd see me later and walks away. Noone's around and I can't make it to the door. I looked around and I'm alone! I ease it on out and walk away. I no more than clear the area when the mother of the bride walks through where I was just standing. She let-out a resounding "Good Lord!" as she put her hand over her nose and mouth and ran for the exit! With that, I'm choking back the big laugh and probably looking guilty as sin.


Chuck

[masterrig 1]

Quote

EEEEEEEW!!! Now I'll NEVER eat gravy again....never, ever, ever!!

___________________________________

Bwa-hahahahahahaha...


Chuck

[waltappel 1]

Quote

I was recently at a wedding and got there a little early to help get things ready for the caterers. This ol' boy stops me to 'talk' while I'm trying to get outside, 'cause I'm holding back one of the biggest farts known to man. Well, I didn't want to be im-polite to the old man so I stood there visitin'. Meanwhile, I'm holdin' back just as hard as I can and I know, my complexion is a deep blue by this time. Finally! He says he'd see me later and walks away. Noone's around and I can't make it to the door. I looked around and I'm alone! I ease it on out and walk away. I no more than clear the area when the mother of the bride walks through where I was just standing. She let-out a resounding "Good Lord!" as she put her hand over her nose and mouth and ran for the exit! With that, I'm choking back the big laugh and probably looking guilty as sin.


Chuck

Awesome!!!

Walt

[masterrig 1]

Aw yeah! I mean to tell ya'! I laughed my ass off, when he told me that. His aunts and mother... all, good church ladies. All while I was bustin' a gut and slappin' myself, I kinda' felt bad for him!


Chuck

[scaryshari 0]

It's folks like you that fumigate glass elevators only to stand by and watch your victims puke all the way to their destination.

However a little "slippage" no and then is funny.

is

[jeiber 0]

A group of my friends were sitting at a table with an attractive girl I didn't know. I joined in the conversation, and soon we were kinda hitting it off. Somehow we got on the topic of relationships, and she mentioned that she and her ex broke up because he moved to Europe. I chuckled, and said, 'Holy shit, what did you do that made him leave the country, tell him your pregnant?' The look on her face will be burned in my mind forever...

Turns out she had indeed gotten pregnant, and had a miscarriage. My buddies all knew it, and were biting their lips to keep from laughing at me. The subject quickly changed, and that was pretty much the end of us 'hitting it off'.

I still feel aweful to this day - especially now that I see her all the time. I want to apologize, but I really don't even want to bring it up again...

Jeff

Shhh... you hear that sound? That's the sound of nobody caring!

[masterrig 1]

Quote

Years ago I was working at a facility for retarded people (at the time I had absolutely no clue as to just how incredibly ironic that was). I was a nurse and on my way out of the nurses' office. One of the retards, who was well known for sudden violent outbursts was leaning in the doorway talking to me. As I shut the door, he started screaming like a banshee!!!

Naturally, I wanted to get the door shut and locked quickly so I could have my hands free to restrain him if necessary.

Something was interfering with me getting the door shut, so I pulled really, really hard. His screaming got really loud at this point.

You guessed it. I finally realized that his fingers were caught in the door jam and I was mashing the hell out of them by trying to shut the door. It hadn't been a sudden violent outburst at all--it was PAIN!!!

Yeow!!!!

Walt

___________________________________

Tell me, you didn't feel bad after that!? I'll bet, you felt awful.


Chuck

[DrewEckhardt 0]

I was walking down the street talking to one of my friends about work. He said that he'd built a radio receiver that could pickup signals arround -100dBW (might have been less). I observed that one ten billionth of a Watt is quite small and said "That's tiny!"

At which point a midget went by on a skateboard shaking his head.

Another day we were out for breakfast and got seated by the restrooms marked "Ladies" and "Gentlemen." People aren't terribly civilized these days so I asked "What if you're neither a lady nor a gentleman?"

At which point a male to female transexual decided to use the restroom (I don't remember which one).

[Scoop 0]

THat is a funny moment!

I once had a run in with a newly promoted sergeant, he was throwing his newly acquired power around and really got up my nose. When I went to write a report up about an incident I really ripped into him calling him an asshole and saying that ever since hes become a sergeant hes a dick. Just cos hes not getting any at home etc... you know how people moan. Anyway... the woman sitting next to me turned round and said "yeah, my boyfriend can be a dick at times"

Erm.... shit!

[waltappel 1]

A friend of mine got his doctorate and started working for a large public health department as a statistician. He was on a long-term project studying teen suicide and, like me, has a really twisted sense of humor.

He told me he developed kind of a standup comedy routine about suicide (sounded pretty funny to me!) and had about 5 or 10 minutes worth of material.

Anyway, a friend he hadn't talked with in a long time called him and they were talking for quite a while. He started telling her all these suicide jokes he had come up with and he noticed that she was not laughing at all.

Her brother had committed suicide the week before.

Unlike me, this guy is really kind and sensitive and never does anything wrong. It must have really hurt his soul.

Walt