addictions?

[skyhawk 2]

froggie you must see some see some pretty bad shit as an EMT ?? what adiccictions can do

[froggie 0]

yeah, i see my share of the effects of addictions of all kinds. It surprised me the first few times, because i had the niave view that these things dont happen in my town. I think that the first actual over dose call that i went on the guy was unconscious, bleeding from a wound, with a needle sticking out of his arm. It actually amazed me that his 'loving' girlfriend hadnt had the sense to pull it out of his arm. But then again, she was so doped up she had mistakenly thought that he was "sleeping cause hes real tired"
But more and more, Im seeing the effects of the city life starting to wear off on my semi small town. Not blaming the cities of Camden or Philly, which are both very close to here, but seeing how their citizens are to blame. This weekend we had our first attempted murder, i say attempted cuase i dont believe the guy has died (yet). A bar fight, and one guy walked up to another and shot him in the face. The victem was able to leave the scene, and when the police were called out all the patrons in the bar said that it was fireworks the neighbors must have heard! imagine that! they were that selfish, that they didnt want to get caught up in the mess, that they risked letting another person bleed to death. Until the police did some investigating, and found out the truth they took the 'fireworks' story as a temporary explanantion, but one that they did not believe. The ambulance, which i was on, was recalled because of the fireworks story. and that angers me. I ask myself how i would have felt knowing that my services, and the services of my two partners was denied because some lousy people decided to hide the truth. What if that man died on the scene, and we werent there to save his life? I would have felt like I wasnt able to do my job, which is a very frustrating thing. It is something that we have to deal with at times, and its always one of the hardest things to do. Ive only felt like my training, hard work,skills and dedication wasnt enough one time before, and that one really shoke me up. That girl died in an accident, and I was the first one on the scene (it was right in front of my job, and i was working) The girl died within seconds of the accident, and there wasnt much I could do without equipment besides the most basic of life support. To feel like that again, well thats not something that i want.
Were surrounded by shitty run down towns and theyre starting to move on. Granted, that is only one bar out of proly a dozen. We do have some nicer bars, if you could call them that. At least people dont get shot while in those bars.
okay, now ive really unloaded a lot of baggage. Thanks for giving me a place to express my feelings about what i do. At times it is much needed.
froggie

[PLFXpert 0]

Quote

I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder about 6 years ago. When I was growing up it was thought that girls didn't have ADD and it was something that a child usually grew out of;

Lisa,
You'll be happy to know that they are recognizing much more these days ADD in females. I volunteer for first grade SLD classes that have all sorts of learning disabilities, the most popular being ADD. There are quite a few girls that I teach that have been diagnosed with the disorder. I thought you'd be happy to hear thatMUCH LOVE AND BLUE SKIES!
Carrie http://www.geocities.com/skydivegrl20/

[PLFXpert 0]

Quote

Since a good number of skydivers live in CA or FL where such things are more prevelent in general they associate this behavior with skydiving.

I think you pose a good point here. I have lived in Florida my whole life and this is where I jump and the only state I've jumped in so maybe my awareness of all the drugs around the DZs (and unfortunately some, but not too many that I've noticed do so all night and then go jump first thing in the morning)is simply b/c of where I'm jumping. It doesn't bother me at all. It hurst sometimes to see what it does to those who I love and care about but it is their choice. As I said before, I stick to weed and beer and have never ventured beyond that. Not so much b/c I think it's wrong but b/c I know my personality and when I like something I want it all the time so for me, I feel like: why start? I'd rather spend what little poor college student $$$ I have on another jump.
MUCH LOVE AND BLUE SKIES!
Carrie http://www.geocities.com/skydivegrl20/
Edited by PLFXpert on 3/1/01 07:56 AM.

[skybytch 259]

Carrie, that's great! I don't want any kid to have to deal with what I did. And you oughta be proud of yourself for what you're doing... I happen to know that ADD girls can be quite a handful!!! :-)
pull and flare,
lisa

[PLFXpert 0]

Quote

.. I happen to know that ADD girls can be quite a handful!!! :-)

You couldn't be more right! But I love what I do. It's especially difficult with the 1st graders b/c we are trying to teach them to read which is a difficult task even w/out the disorder. But seeing their faces light up when I come by for my 2 hours is worth it allMUCH LOVE AND BLUE SKIES!
Carrie http://www.geocities.com/skydivegrl20/

[Tee 0]

Quote

You couldn't be more right! But I love what I do. It's especially difficult with the 1st graders b/c we are trying to teach them to read which is a difficult task even w/out the disorder. But seeing their faces light up when I come by for my 2 hours is worth it all.

Carrie, you should be very proud of yourself for what you do. I know from experience that even if it doesn't seem like you are reaching a child at the time, it is amazing what information they take with them and use later in their lives. I teach adults with learning disabilities to read so that they can get out of homes and become more self sufficient, as well I teach a course to children dealing with their parents divorce. It is so wonderful to see adults reading for the first time and understanding the importance of it and seeing children learning to talk about their feelings instead of misbehaving. It truly is a wonderful thing! Way to go!
tee

[Billy 0]

Hay Again,,,
It warms me ta read about what you R doin ta help with these folks,,, I am glad ta see more and more of our young'uns aren't even intersted in smokin or drinkin,,, and ladies like you R there ta help them through the hard times,,, I grew up in Tucson in the late 70's and have personaly done a bunch a "chemicals",,,,, I totally blew an interview after College when the subject of illicit drugs was asked,, I was like hay,,, we legalized alcohol, and nicotine, 2 of the most addictive and deadly drugs available,, not ta mention the draining they have on the health care system in the US,,, so just PISS OFF!! Guess who didn't get that job as a Coconino Co. Sheriff,,, hee hee,,, but I was lucky I didn't cuz I wouldn't have the job I do now.... ain't life a funny thing???

[Patkat 0]

I think that, going (way)back to froggie's original question, there are two connections between drugs/addictions and skydiving. The first is our propensity for risk-taking behavior. By which I mean, our ability to investigate and evaluate risk, and accept a certain amount of risk for a certain amount of reward. In skydivng, it seems to me, most folks get a huge rush and sense of accomplishment from jumping, and do their best to minimize the risk while accepting that s**t can (unavoidably) happen sometimes. I'm guessing a lot of folks do the same sort of calculus with drugs (I know I did - risk vs. reward - bodily damage vs. pleasure)
The second is that when people are in the grip of an addiction, they often realize the harm they are doing to themselves, in terms of toxins in the body, relationships harmed, sheer time lost, etc., but they wind up telling themselves over and over that they'll stop after the next drink/cigarette/hit/toke/line/shot etc. You just keep putting off quitting over and over. Well, when you are skydiving, there is no putting off pulling - the choice is before you and is crystal-clear: pull or die. So you pull. Skydiving concentrates one wonderfully on what needs to be done, and permits no procrastination. Which may well explain its appeal to the recovering addict.
By way of a disclaimer, I've never been really really deep into an addiction - done a small variety of drugs in college, including a good bit of weed smoking which delayed and nearly prevented my graduation (hey, it was me and not the weed, I know) quit cigarettes the other year, etc. I am assuming that this has given me a bit of an insight - but if I am talking B.S., please let me know.

[freaksister 0]

No, you're not talking B.S. here PatKat...in fact what you just wrote is exactly what I have been trying to explain to my whuffo best friend for two days. We are in the midst of a "discussion" (ah, debate maybe) about my "addiction" to skydiving. I have been having some problems with college (motivation level) and other things. I have a very stressful job, as I work a rape crisis/domestic violence hotline which is located inside a domestic violence shelter. So at any given time I am talking to drug addicts, suicidal mental cases, rape victims, parents whose kids have been molested by god knows who you name it, and then dealing face to face with about 20 women and their children who are staying at the shelter. When I get off work at midnight, I have nothing left to give it seems like. I just want to play...on the internet, making my hemp jewelry, etc. So I am having a hard time with school, and my roommate/best friend (?) blames it on skydiving, and says I either need to quit or take a break for awhile until I can "get my shit together." I said oh well you automatically think its skydiving huh, not MY JOB? possibly? or something else? maybe everthing together?? I said, at least I don't come home and immediately raid the liquor cabinet and start pounding down some heavy drugs to deal with the stress in my life. She says yeah, well, anytime something goes wrong you say, "I wish I could just JUMP!" I said, oh that is bad?
Where was I going with this here?? Oh yeah, I am trying to make her understand how powerful skydiving is to one who does it. She does respect the fact that I am not going to quit or whatever, but as we all know whuffos cannot understand how compelling jumping is to us. So I am going to print this thread and let her read it, as a last ditch effort to see what skydiving means to people, straight from the jumper's mouth. I do realize it probably won't work, but I am trying one last time. I mean, my parents understand, why can't my best friend?? argh! Once she does that tandem on her birthday I bet she changes her mind!!
Sorry for the soapbox, guys, I guess I am a little toasty. Sentimental or something.
Love and Blue skies,
sistah

[PLFXpert 0]

Quote

as well I teach a course to children dealing with their parents divorce.

Now it's my turn, Tee to commend you for what you do. My parents divorced when I was 6. At the time, it didn't really bother me that much. As I got older however and started discovering all that went on (they never told me why), ext. it REALLY was hard to deal with. Especially since once my mother was gone, my father used me to do all the same things he did to my mother. It's a very rough thing and unfortunately is all too common. I do a lot of writing and have some things published but was thinking of actually writing a book to parents from a child about how to properly deal with their children during a divorce based on my own experiences. Who knows if I'll ever get around to it but I've been toying with the idea for a while. I LOVE that you counsel children and young adults in this matter. It is VERY important to help them at an early age and not allow them to go for years and years with all the built up emotions. Thank you, TeeMUCH LOVE AND BLUE SKIES!
Carrie http://www.geocities.com/skydivegrl20/

[Pammi 0]

Patkat, that was an excellent post. I agree with you completely. I'd like to add another thought to it all. I think I can speak for most of us and say skydiving is a huge relief from it all. It let's you just release so much stress. I don't know about any of you, but (confession time) as I've hinted on here, I've had my own addictions. From getting sloshing drunk on a regular basis, then progressing to cocaine as a 'pick me up' while working so much. Any time my kids were with their dad, I was stoned or drunk. I tend to be a worrier...I stress over everything. I'm such a perfectionist I'm always worried about 'dropping the ball'. That coupled with divorce from a mentally abusive husband, my son's severe health problems (I was NOT doing anything back then, even so much as a beer, so please don't flame), daughter's molestation (babysitter's son), etc, etc, I wanted an escape from my own head and thinking. So I took the easy route...numbed it. I still feel that way from time-to-time, overwhelmed with life, but now skydiving is my release that refreshes me and gives me the courage to keep pushing ahead. Shit just seems to happen and everyone's had their hard knocks...I could post for days as I'm sure others' could also. Like Freaksis said, though, I doubt skydiving is her 'problem', it's her cure. It's a safer, better way to clear your mind rather then numb it with drugs.
I can't believe I just said all of this :) Not even my family knows some of it...so ssshhhh! (Geez, I feel like I should be standing in front of you guys saying "My name is Pam. I am an addict." LOL)
Keep jumping guys.
Pammi

[Tee 0]

Quote

I do a lot of writing and have some things published but was thinking of actually writing a book to parents from a child about how to properly deal with their children during a divorce based on my own experiences. Who knows if I'll ever get around to it but I've been toying with the idea for a while. I LOVE that you counsel children and young adults in this matter. It is VERY important to help them at an early age and not allow them to go for years and years with all the built up emotions.

Thanks for the support Carrie. Your book is an amazing idea! I have been teaching these divorce classes for a few years now and I haven't come by a book like that in all of my research. We also have classes for the parents teaching them how to talk to their children and your book would be a wonderful tool. Tee

[Zennie 0]

Quote

I started skydiving with Merrick as a 'jump' into my new life...I'd always wanted to try it and it seemed like the perfect time to finally do it. I'm very lucky to have had someone to help me back to 'reality' and give me back my self-confidence.

I've met a fair number of people now who started skydiving during a crisis period in their life. Divorce seems to be a common one.
I started mainly because I had always wanted to and reached a point financially where I could swing it. But it also seems to be a good "liberator" for those going through difficult periods in their life.
Just out of curiosity, how many here started when they were going through rough times and how did it help you?
------------
Blue Skies!
Zennie

[Greg 0]

Safety Meeting, I,m THERE!! lol, I go to safety meetings every Thursday night. Thats great, I thought we were the only ones who used the "safety meeting" title for our gatherings to watch video and "party". It really throws the wuffo's off the trail too. Love it!!!
Blue ones!!!

[SpeedRacer 1]

Well, I'm not sure I see much of a correlation between the tendency to skydive & drugs. Many skydivers are in their 20's which is a time when some people over-indulge in that sort of thing, but that's right across the board. I don't really see it being more prevalent in skydivers. Of course, in the evening skydivers will really put away the brew & tequila, but that doesn't seem to be an out-of-control, destructive type of thing.
When I was in my 20's I used to smoke weed up to 5 times a week, but I didn't start skydiving until I was 34, long after I had lost interest in that sort of thing. Every once in a great while at night around the fire, someone might pull out a bowl, but that's about the extent of it as far as I can see.
Never seen/heard of X-use at the DZ. I tried it once or twice back in the mid-80's when it was first becoming popular. It was fun, but I noticed that while under the influence, I lost my musical taste. Specifically, even really bad music sounded great to me. Could explain why that techno/house "music" became popular in the 90s.
-Speed

[PLFXpert 0]

Quote

I've met a fair number of people now who started skydiving during a crisis period in their life.

This couldn't be more accurate! When I started, I really didn't care if I forgot to pull my ripcord or not. Skydiving gave me hope for life, rather than a way out of it. Not only did it give me something I loved doing, but it gave me a family which I'd never had before (all the skydivers at my DZ), it brought love into my life via my boyfriend which I'd also never had before and I have to agree with FreakSis when she said that skydiving isn't her problem, it's her *cure*. I've never heard a truer statement, girlPammi, It sounds as if you're a VERY strong women who is balancing a lot more than most could and I'm so thankful that you turned to skydiving to releive your stress! I really admire your honesty and strength! It takes a special person to handle what you've been dealing with.
MUCH LOVE AND BLUE SKIES!
Carrie http://www.geocities.com/skydivegrl20/

[froggie 0]

Zennie,
in response to your question "who started skydiving during a crisis period in your life?" well, im one of those people. I dont know if you remember my very first post, It was under the "psychological effects of skydving" back in the old threads.
I made the desicion to jump because i had a day that desperately needed to be taken back. I needed good memories of that day, so that the anniversary of my 'attack' didnt consume that day. I dont think that what happened would have effected me like it did if my attacker wasnt my exboyfriend, the first man i ever slept with, my first truely real relationship, complete wiht the battles, pain, love and joy.
So i jumped on the one year anniversary, then again on the two year anniversary, then i won a free skydive (thankyou Xkeys) at the ambulance squads banquet so i jumped again, but this time it was only a month after my last jump, not a year. And thats when i truely got addicted. It was that second jump in one month that made me realize that I could do this, that I really did love the rides to altitude, That i didnt see the horizon from 13,500 as much as I desired too.
I dont regret what happened to me, it taught me so much. It caused me to leave a lot behind, some good, but most of them addictive and destructive. I dont regret that my first love did that to me, cause it made it so much harder to get to a place where I was okay with myself. And the fact that I did get to a better place (the best place ive ever been) makes it all worth it. And having to deal with being (this is the first time ive said this on these threads...) raped made me find out who i truely am.
I see my ex's family now, and i almost want to thank them for pulling me so far down , cause from that
pain, ive come so far. I actually think that it was my ex's doing that got me into skydiving. So, i thank god that I ment him, cause its taught me so much. And it helped becuase i knew that I could handle my cousins death back in april. I cant explain how hard that was to deal with, it really felt like my heart had been ripped from inside my chest, with numerous memories pulsating through my broken body. But that pain was different,. being raped is an isolating pain, loosing my cousin was a family pain.
okay. ive done enough rambling. lets hear how other people got into skydiving.
froggie

[Zennie 0]

froggie: Wow! I wouldn't wish what happened to you upon my worst enemy. But my motto as of late is "Life is nothing but interpretation of events." Sounds like you've dealt with it in a very healthy manner.
Another observation I'll make (as you can see, I do this a lot ) is that skydivers as group seem to be very open about themselves and their feelings. Even the guys. I've met so many folks that will just sit down and talk about life with me, and it's just so cool. For you to open up like that takes a lot of courage, and I salute you!
That brings me to my next theory (which usually immediately follows my "observations" ). Skydiving give people courage. When you overcome the ultimate fear... the fear of falling, fear of death... everything else pales. Most people don't talk about their feelings, or even deal with them internally, because of fear. Once fear is removed, we deal with our issues and talk about how we feel.
I can help but think of Yoda's words "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." Conquer fear and you conquer suffering (both yours and others). Basic tenet of Buddhism too, BTW.
Carrie: Your story reminds me of a talk I had with a friend recently. He was depressed and decided to jump solo one day. As he was in freefall he thought "You know. I don't have to pull. Death's right down there. I can just not pull and burn in. It's my choice. I can choose to live or I can choose to die." Well, at that moment he had what I would call an "awakening" and others, including himself, would call a "religious experience". He realized life was worth living, thanked Jesus and pulled. His life has been great ever since.
------------
Blue Skies!
Zennie

[Deleted 0]

Hey, 'Sis, Pammi, everyone, thanks fer the positive feedback...it's nice to know I have half a clue how life works.
And perhaps to expand a bit on what I was saying and what you all contributed - an anecdote first - I was talking with a kid who recently started jumping, and he was mentioning how it seemed to calm him down and give him focus - PLFXpert might find his type familiar - he describes himself as "hyper" and while he's not really that bad, he does bounce around a little like ADD kids do. I replied that "skydiving does tend to focus the mind," being facetious, but I immediately realized how true it was for me, and I guess for a lot of you. This part of skydiving, that it absolutely demands all of your attention for about 60 seconds, must be what makes it so theraputic. I mean, it seems like a lot of us who've been posting on this thread have plenty on our minds, and a genuine break from it all is a good thing. Much better than the old chemical fog. Nothing like that 60 break, with a healthy dose of perspective on the side!!!

[Patkat 0]

Whoops, forgot to log in before I posted that last - 'twas I, Patkat. And P.S. to 'Sis and anyone else hitting the books - I feel for ya.... but from my present position I can't quite reach ya. It's awful hard to deal with a professor lecturing on stuff like "the transmutation of paradigms in the semiotics of social/sexual politics in Weimar Germany" and such after a hard day's work - especially when work is so in-your-face gritty real as your job, 'Sis. All I can say is way to go so far... and good luck, blue skies, and fair winds!

[Pammi 0]

Quote

He realized life was worth living, thanked Jesus and pulled. His life has been great ever since.

That's beautiful. Thank you too Carrie. I'm sure there are many in the world to include us who are thankful that you chose to fight for your life, not just survive an existence. You too Froggie. I can't even imagine the kind of pain you must have went through, no one can unless they've been there I imagine, and even then, everyone's situations are entirely their own.
How bad can skydiving be when it allows us to bond with people we haven't even met and share things even those in our day-to-day lives don't know? I've learned more, given more and gotten more in these threads then I would've imagined.
*hugs to all*
Pammi

[Tee 0]

I think as skydivers we should feel very lucky for the tight bond that we have with our "family". Where else can you walk into a new place (dz) and feel like you are at home and completely relaxed? Everyone is always welcoming and accepting. I think skydivers as a whole are some of the best friends you could ever ask for! It is wonderful to hear that because of this sport and especially the people involved that so many of us have been able to overcome such obstacles! Hugz especially to Carrie, Froggie and Pammi. Way to go girls!

• Quote

[froggie 0]

You guys are all right, its this community, the skydiving community that makes me so open. I tell you guys things that the people in my everyday life would never begin to comprehend. It feels so natural, and so easy to talk to you guys about whats on my mind. In my first post ever, I poured my heart out, and you guys answered back with more support than i could ever imagine. It was at that moment that I knew that I had found a family in the folks who frequent these threads. So thanks guys, for being so great, and making it so easy for me to open up. I love ya all.
froggie

[Merrick 0]

:*) I love you so so much baby, I thank God every day that you chose to LIVE... that you've worked through all you've been thru & are now truly living! Guys, you'll never meet a more wonderful, beautiful, strong, passionate person than Pamela anywhere.... she's absolutely incredible!!! Sorry, I'll get off her soapbox now!
"Pull High.... It's lower than you think!"
Edited by Merrick on 3/2/01 12:24 PM.