Help. I need a polar bear joke.

[TheBile 0]

Preferably one about a polar bear being a model, but any will do.

Gerb

I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

[pinkfairy 0]

I can help you there, although this may only be funny in Norway or even only funny on Svalbard.

Well, in Norway, there's a chocolate that's called "Bamsemums", and that translates into "bear yummy" it's foam shaped like little bears covered in chocolate.

A couple of years ago, two girls from Oslo went for a walk just outside longyearbyen in Svalbard. They were attacked and eaten by a polar bear.

So, the joke goes:

"what do you call two tourist girls on a walk outside Longyearbyen?"

"Bamsemums."

Of course, it's really tasteless and maybe not even funny, but I'm iqtm all the same.

Relax, you can die if you mess up, but it will probably not be by bullet.

I'm a BIG, TOUGH BIGWAY FORMATION SKYDIVER! What are you?

[klr 0]

Hi,

Little polar bear talking to daddy polar bear on the ice shelf.

Little bear : 'Dad - are you a polar bear'
Daddy bear : 'Yes son'
Little bear : 'Dad - Is mom a polar bear'
Daddy bear : 'Yes son'
Little bear : 'Dad - was grandad a polar bear'
Daddy bear : 'Yes son'
Little bear : 'Are you sure dad'
Daddy bear : 'Yes son'

Daddy bear :'why do you keep asking son ? '
Little bear : 'Cos I'm fuckin freezin here !'

-------------------------------------------------

bad,

I know, only one I could think of.

rgds

klr

'I came into this world kicking and screaming and covered in somebody elses blood, I plan to leave it the same way.'

[willard 0]

Really bad one here....

Q: What do Polar Bears eat for dessert?
A: Eskimo Pies


I warned ye

[popsjumper 2]

Big Texan goes to Alaska to become an Eskimo.

Eskimo chief tells him there's 3 things you have to do to become and Eskimo.

1. Drink a gallon of Eskimo whiskey
2. Make love to an Eskimo woman
3. Wrestle a polar bear

Big Texan chugs the whiskey and takes off out the door.

Three days later he comes back bloody and mangled and says, "Now, whar's that der Eskimo woman you wanted me to wrestle?"

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[pinkfairy 0]

Well, there's a morale to my joke, though.

It's:

Never, ever walk around in polar bear territory without a large caliber gun or a person with a large caliber gun with you.

And you're allowed to kill polar bear that attacks unprovoked, but if you feed it or otherwise disturb it, you'll be punished. Of course, some polar bears will themselves do the punishments of those who disturb them.

Relax, you can die if you mess up, but it will probably not be by bullet.

I'm a BIG, TOUGH BIGWAY FORMATION SKYDIVER! What are you?

[Andy_Copland 0]

Or leave the poor dying polar bears alone!!!

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[okalb 79]

Quote

Preferably one about a polar bear being a model, but any will do.

OK, a polar bear and a snowshoe hare are taking a shit in the igloo .....

Time flies like an arrow....fruit flies like a banana

[NWFlyer 2]

Quote

Really bad one here....

Q: What do Polar Bears eat for dessert?
A: Eskimo Pies


I warned ye

Q: What did the polar bear cub say to its mother at mealtime?
A: "Aw, no! Not SEALS again!"

Q: What did the polar bear say when it saw the igloo?
A: "Oooo! I LOVE these things! Crunchy on the outside - with a nice chewy center!"

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[Kris 0]

I tried to get a rectangular bear for months.
Turns out that I had to get a polar bear and use trig...

Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and
Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™

[kingbunky 3]

not a joke really, but it always cracks me up.

"Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart."
MB4252 TDS699
killing threads since 2001

[Programmer 0]

Two guys walking in bear country. First guy stops to tighten the laces on his shoes.
2nd guy asks "What are you doing?"
1st guy: "If a bear attacks us I'm going to run."
2nd guy: "Can you outrun a bear?"
1st guy: "No, I can outrun you."

[pinkfairy 0]

Quote

Or leave the poor dying polar bears alone!!!

Alternatively.

Relax, you can die if you mess up, but it will probably not be by bullet.

I'm a BIG, TOUGH BIGWAY FORMATION SKYDIVER! What are you?

[karenmeal 0]

Here is a good penguin joke:


One Penguin says to the other penguin, "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo."

The other penguin replies, "What makes you think that I'm not?"

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham

[Lindercles 0]

What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?

A polar bear.

[unformed 0]

Quote

What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?

A polar bear.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








Not.

This ad space for sale.

[JustChuteMeNow 0]

Q: What has four legs and a flipper?
A: A happy polar bear!

Q: How does a polar bear stop a VCR "added for bile" at the pretty models house?
A: It just presses the "paws" button.

Think of how stupid the average person is and realize that statistically half of them are stupider than that.

[snowslider 0]

How to catch a polar bear.

First you cut a hole in the ice.

Next you line the hole with pea's.

Then when the Polar Bear comes to take a pee....

you kick it in the ice hole.

It's a better joke to hear than to read.

[ntrprnr 0]

Polar Bear goes to have his car fixed. Mechanic says it'll take a few hours.

Polar bear goes and walks around, but it's warm out, and polar bears hate warm weather. So he goes to the local supermarket and sits in the freezer to wait. While there, he sees all these pints of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream, which he starts to eat. He eats many of them.

He goes back to the mechanic, who's finished with the car.

Mechanic says, "Car's all done."

Polar bear says, "It works now?"

Mechanic says, "yeah, looks like you just blew a seal."

Polar Bear says "NO NO NO!! IT'S JUST ICE CREAM!!!"




Good night folks. :)

_______________
"Why'd you track away at 7,000 feet?"
"Even in freefall, I have commitment issues."

[ACMESkydiver 0]

Ok, FAR too many people on this thread were scammin' their jokes off of THIS SITE.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[PostWhorse 0]

Why a polar bear? Why not a horse joke? Horses like models, too.

Post Whorse was here.
The semi-official dropzone.com mascot.

[stitch 0]

A polar bear walks into a bar and the bartender says we don't serve polar bears.

The polar bear starts cussing and demands a beer. The bartender says, We don't serve obnoxious polar bears here.

The polar bear says if you don't give me a beer, I'm going to eat that model sitting at the end of the bar.

The bartender still refuses, so the polar bear eats the model.

He then comes back and demands a beer. The bartender says, We don't serve obnoxious polar bears on drugs. The polar bear says, I'm not on drugs.

The bartender says, You are now. That was a Barbitchyouate.

"No cookies for you"- GFD
"I don't think I like the sound of that" ~ MB65
Don't be a "Racer Hater"

[willard 0]

Quote

Two guys walking in bear country. First guy stops to tighten the laces on his shoes.
2nd guy asks "What are you doing?"
1st guy: "If a bear attacks us I'm going to run."
2nd guy: "Can you outrun a bear?"
1st guy: "No, I can outrun you."

2nd guy: "But you can't outrun this rifle!"

[livendive 8]

Quote

Why a polar bear? Why not a horse joke? Horses like models, too.

I was going to post a whorse joke earlier today, but somebody changed the damn password.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[PostWhorse 0]

Quote

Quote

Why a polar bear? Why not a horse joke? Horses like models, too.

I was going to post a whorse joke earlier today, but somebody changed the damn password.

But why would anyone other than me have the password?

Post Whorse was here.
The semi-official dropzone.com mascot.