Top 14 things NOT to say to cop that pulls you over

[ExAFO 0]

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People who come out with witty retorts, no mater how nice they are, immediately fail the attitude test. Its just too annoying

Oooh...Hahahaha! That's gonna bring out the whiny little "I-hate-the-police-until-I-need-their-services" pussies on DZ.com....heh.

Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW.

[kbordson 8]

"Ohhhh, I like a man in uniform....."

(now... just be worried if walt posts the same thing)

[Scoop 0]

Of the people that whinge to me about how much the police suck, if they are otherwise decent folk I just give them the details of recruitment and say that if they want to make a difference they should join up to be one of our special constables (volunteers)

First thing they normally say is "work for free!?". They don't give damn about their community. They just like to whinge. Wankers

[Scoop 0]

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"Ohhhh, I like a man in uniform....."

(now... just be worried if walt posts the same thing)

Ahh... but are you a fat, old, sweaty, drug taking, alcoholic, single mother, toothless, jobless, benefit swindling whorebag?

[kbordson 8]

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"Ohhhh, I like a man in uniform....."

(now... just be worried if walt posts the same thing)

Ahh... but are you a fat, sweaty, toothless, jobless, benefit swindling whorebag?

No... but if those your requirements, I'll see what I can do. Do you like the big pikey style earings too?

[Scoop 0]

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No... but if those your requirements, I'll see what I can do. Do you like the big pikey style earings too?

LMAO. I'm not a fan of all that other stuff.. but just make sure you got the hoops on OK, big enough that dolphins can jump through them

[airtwardo 6]

...but just make sure you got the hoops on OK.

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Hoop earrings are wonderful!


Makes for a great place to hook the heels of their stiletto shoes!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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[Scoop 0]

Hahaha, I see people are coming round to my way of thinking ... and to think I was mocked!!

With your technique you can also protect the headlining in your car on those romantic outdoor excursions. From this day forth that shall be known as the "AIRTWARDO method"

[lilDevil 2]

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"Ohhhh, I like a man in uniform....."

(now... just be worried if walt posts the same thing)

Ahh... but are you a fat, old, sweaty, drug taking, alcoholic, single mother, toothless, jobless, benefit swindling whorebag?

And I thaught it was a requirement for English cops to have a sence of humour ;-)

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" Cant keep a good woman down "
Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

[Scoop 0]

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And I thaught it was a requirement for English cops to have a sence of humour ;-)

You have to have a sense of humour when you work with the public

EDIT: I'm not actually a constable anymore but work for the police as a civilian employee, I hope to return to being one again soon. Don't worry, I didn't do anything naughty!

[llkenziell 0]

Do NOT admit to having alcohol in your car. (Under 21). He may act like he knows you do - - but dammit he had no idea.

"Living like fallen angels who lost their halos" - Unknown Prophets

-Love Life-

[DFWAJG 4]

Whenever I've been pulled over, I do the following:
1. apologize profusely
2. ask him If he thinks this place is a safe place to pull over or ask him to come to the passenger side so I don't have to worry about his getting hit.
3. Put on my lipstick and smile real pretty-like
4. somehow weave in the conversation that I'm a doctor.

Works everytime! I was doing 75 in a 50 in Oregon, No ticket.

[Scoop 0]

Let me throw in what I would consider to be the ideal stop technique for a civilian from a police officers perspective...

1 - PULL OVER AS SOON AS IT IS SAFE TO DO SO.
Don't panic like an idiot and do your best emergancy stop because you suddenly have blue lights behind you. Don't continue driving for 2 miles either because you weren't sure if we wanted to pass or not. Don't stop on a corner, don't stop near a junction and don't stop on the brow of a hill.

2 - STAY IN THE CAR, TURN THE ENGINE OFF, DONT REACH FOR ANYTHING
Some people believe it is better to get out the car and approach the police officer to show good intent. Don't do it. From my point of view you are safer if you remain in the car unless asked to join the officer on the pavement. Also an officer will be cautious at being approached by somebody as their intentions won't be known. Reaching for stuff quite innocently like paperwork can also be misconstrued. Hiding something, reaching for a weapon etc

3 - BE POLITE
Don't beg, don't flutter your eyelids. Do be honest, if asked if you know why you've been pulled over and you obviously went througha red light, just say 'yeah, I think I ran a red light. I'm sorry'. I personally got no joy out of dishing out tickets. If someone admitted what they had done and knew why it was stupid I'd let them go with verbal advice only. Its more paperwork I could do without. The only thing that would make it worthwhile is if the offences severity dictated no other option or if your attitude was such you needed to be hit in your pocket to learn the error of your ways. Don't gob off, don't be a comedian, no stupid comments. Do feel free to ask any reasonable questions you have regarding any procedure being conducted. Do feel free to engage in neutral chit chat, it helps pass the time. Unless you are really clued up on law I suggest you don't question the officers actions. ie. 'your not allowed to do that' etc. They probably are. If they do something they are not allowed to do they end up in a world of shit and any subsequent conviction based on these actions will be dismissed anyway. Its really not in an officers interest to act beyond their powers.

4 - FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS
Do as your instructed. Definately ask if your unsure about anything. Like a field imparement test or breathalyser procedure etc

5 - BE A GRACIOUS LOSER OR HAPPY MOTORIST
If your done for something just take it on the chin. You got noone to blame but yourself. If your arrested don't put up a struggle because you will lose. You will eat tarmac and thats only where it begins. Your bad behaviour will be evidenced and taken into consideration throughout your detention and possibly any subsequent court case. If you've been disrupted but no offences have been identified just be happy you've been stopped. I used to stop lots of cars for no paticular reason (allowed to over here) especially high value motor vehicles or performance cars to check they weren't stolen. Very often the owners were happy as if their car was stolen they'd be hoping we'd be looking out for it.

6 - REJOIN TRAFFIC SENSIBLY
Continue your journey. Don't leave in a hail of wheelspin and tyre smoke as some like to do after a traffic stop, Don't rejoin the motorway or any fast road at a slow speed. Usually the police car will remain behind you protecting the scene until you leave so don't wait for the police car to leave first, its there for your protection, use it.

NOTE: This is my view. Each officer is different. But I am a reasonable fellow and feel the above is all good practice. Of course, if you meet a traffic officer, however, they are a special breed. They get hard ons for stuff like this. Tossers

[Michele 1]

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Officer: "Do you know, how fast you were going?"

Driver: "Yeah! Do you?"

Long story short. First week in my Honda Accord. Speeding late at night. And by speeding, I mean fast. Nearly 100 on a freeway in Los Angeles. Apparently I passed a cop. Got pulled over.

He said "you have any idea how fast you were going?"
I said "Yes. How fast do you think I was going"
He said "I had to get over 100 to catch up to you. Why were you going so fast??"
I said: "I just got this car; I've been driving an old Volvo. BTW, you won't ever have to worry about a high speed chase if it's a '70 Volvo. They don't go over 55."
He said "hand over your license and registration."
I siad: "here's my license, the registration is still temp and taped onto the window."

He walks around, checks the taped temp license. Runs the plate. Runs my license. All is in order. He comes back.

He said: "I should write you up for excessive speed, reckless driving, and even have the option of impounding the car."
I said: "You could just let me get on home. I won't do it again."
He said "Consider yourself sternly warned. Nice car. Drive it safely. And if you need to speed, take it over the hills into the desert. Safer there. You'll only kill yourself. Take care."

And off I drove...

And yes, I still speed. But now I speed in an S2000, and I do only get way up there when it's a relatively isolated area.

Ciels-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[masterrig 1]

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Officer: "Do you know, how fast you were going?"

Driver: "Yeah! Do you?"

Long story short. First week in my Honda Accord. Speeding late at night. And by speeding, I mean fast. Nearly 100 on a freeway in Los Angeles. Apparently I passed a cop. Got pulled over.

He said "you have any idea how fast you were going?"
I said "Yes. How fast do you think I was going"
He said "I had to get over 100 to catch up to you. Why were you going so fast??"
I said: "I just got this car; I've been driving an old Volvo. BTW, you won't ever have to worry about a high speed chase if it's a '70 Volvo. They don't go over 55."
He said "hand over your license and registration."
I siad: "here's my license, the registration is still temp and taped onto the window."

He walks around, checks the taped temp license. Runs the plate. Runs my license. All is in order. He comes back.

He said: "I should write you up for excessive speed, reckless driving, and even have the option of impounding the car."
I said: "You could just let me get on home. I won't do it again."
He said "Consider yourself sternly warned. Nice car. Drive it safely. And if you need to speed, take it over the hills into the desert. Safer there. You'll only kill yourself. Take care."

And off I drove...

And yes, I still speed. But now I speed in an S2000, and I do only get way up there when it's a relatively isolated area.

Ciels-
Michele

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That's kinda' funny... except his crack about speeding out by the desert. NOT very professional on his part. He's supposed to protect lives. At least, you didn't get a ticket.

[Bolas 5]

If pulled over by a bike cop:

"Hey officer, I can see your balls in those shorts."

"Oh wait, bike cops don't have any."

Speed away.

Best done using someone elses car.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[MF42 0]

Slowly wave one hand like Obi Wan Kenobi, and say "You don't need to see my identification."

Matt

[GravityJunky 0]

in reply to: Do you know how fast you were going?
"Apparently Not fast enough you caught me!"

*My Inner Child is A Fucking Prick Too!
*Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge
*Well I'd love to stay & chat, But youre a total Bitch! {Stewie}

[377 20]

Here I am, lit up and pulled over for not having a current license sticker, my 13 year old boy in the passenger seat. I told the cop truthfully that I had put on a current sticker and it had apparently been swiped. The cop started giving me a really hard time for no good reason. I just shut up and listened. My kid pipes up: "hey, I know you, you're the cop who tickets skateboarders aren't you? And now you are making a big deal over sticker when all you have to do is call it in and see that the registration is current? You ever do any real police work, you know, the kind with criminals and danger?"

Think I got a ticket?

2018 marks half a century as a skydiver. Trained by the late Perry Stevens D-51 in 1968.

[bloody_trauma 2]

last week i was doing 30 over the limit and got popped, when the officer came up i gave him my military ID and told him i was on leave on my way to spaceland...

he ran my ID and plates and then came back and told me to be safe and then proceeded to give me the exact locations of two other traps on 610S

Fly it like you stole it

[Royd 0]

A story from my aunt when she was young and hot.

A patrolman pulls her over, knowing who she was.

He asked her if she would like to go to the partolmans' ball.

She said,"I didn't know patrolmen had balls."

[BillyVance 34]

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Here I am, lit up and pulled over for not having a current license sticker, my 13 year old boy in the passenger seat. I told the cop truthfully that I had put on a current sticker and it had apparently been swiped. The cop started giving me a really hard time for no good reason. I just shut up and listened. My kid pipes up: "hey, I know you, you're the cop who tickets skateboarders aren't you? And now you are making a big deal over sticker when all you have to do is call it in and see that the registration is current? You ever do any real police work, you know, the kind with criminals and danger?"

Think I got a ticket?

I hope you gave your kid a big fat allowance that week!

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[2fat2fly 0]

"gee officer, I'm just glad that you caght me now and not an hour ago when I was nailing your wife."

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

I said "hey...wanna race? I bet I would win...wanna find out?" Best part is that he said "I bet you would, that's not necessary"

Don't ask if their favorite hang out is Taco Hell, Chick Fil A, or Denny's...they kinda don't like that (although we all know they ARE THERE 24/7) Puuuuleeeeeze However in Colorado (Golden) I did get pulled over and asked directions to the closest TacoBell and he actually escorted me to the closest one.....and was happy to do so.

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[Bolas 5]

Was this before or after the "breathalyzer" test.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.