A man never wants to hear a woman say...

[Thanatos340 1]

"oh shit!! My Husband is home"

"I cant beleive that my Fake ID actually worked at that bar you picked me up in last night"

"Lets go shopping"

"Could you hold my purse for me for just a second" (Second always equals a minimum of 2 hours, 43 minutes and 28 seconds.)

[1969912 0]

"Could you run to the store and get me some tampons?"

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[ryoder 1,400]

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"Lets go shopping"

That doesn't bother me because the answer will always be: "No!"
Learned my lesson a long time ago.
I have a simple rule: "You don't drag me to things that bore me to tears, and I don't drag you to things that bore you to tears."

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Lastchance 0]

Hi. My name is Lorena Bobbit. Can we get together sometime?

I may be getting old but I got to see all the cool bands.

[turtlespeed 212]

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"Honey, does this dress, (these jeans, whatever) make my ass look fat?"
DANGER - WARNING - TRICK QUESTION Do NOT Answer, without thinking,

Ah... all you gotta do is say "honey, NOTHING makes you look fat, then give her a bear hug with both hands firmly on her butt and kiss her."

If that doesn't work, I don't know what will.

No, you just have to say that it looks good on her. The reason we ask that question, i that we're worried that the fit isn't right and makes us look ugly, and for some reason, we think men are qualified to answer. What we want to hear, is that it looks good. That's why we ask. We think it looks good ourselves, and want it confirmed before we can wear it. "Nothing makes you look fat!" sounds forced, and not credible.

This is just my humble opinion.

Well, we should view photos of your ass just to be sure.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[CaptainOKaos 0]

Turtles awake again.

You're as wonderful as a slinkie!! NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

[turtlespeed 212]

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Turtles awake again.

Yes Sir, Thank you sir.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[Unstable 8]

"Lets go down to ...... because I want you to meet a friend of mine."


(Always leads to a miserable weekend with no jumping...)



"Are you going Skydiving AGAIN!!"

(Breakup time!)

=========Shaun ==========

[KCJumper 0]

Happy fathers day....when it's the third date.

[cocheese 0]

"Is that your 9th joint?"

[sunshine 2]

"Dude, what the fuck did you just leave in my bed?"

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[Lindercles 0]

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"Is that your 9th joint?"

Unless it's a white chick and you happen to be Spike Lee.

[cocheese 0]

I don't get it. The joint reference is an actual quote from a girl who wanted her boyfriend to leave the party.

I don't even know who Spike Lee is so don't bother explaining it. sorry.

[CaptainOKaos 0]

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"Is that your 9th joint?"

You're as wonderful as a slinkie!! NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

[McBeth 0]

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"Lets go shopping"

I think that depends on the type of shopping being done

[ryoder 1,400]

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"Lets go shopping"

I think that depends on the type of shopping being done

Women shop; Men purchase.

When a man needs something, he goes out and buys it.
He knows what he wants BEFORE he leaves the house.
The objective is to fill a need.

Only women go out to a mall not knowing what they are going to buy.
The objective is to SHOP, not to fill a need.
To a man, this is simultaneously a waste of time and money.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[wmw999 2,149]

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Women shop; Men purchase.

When a man needs something, he goes out and buys it. He knows what he wants BEFORE he leaves the house. The objective is to fill a need.

Only women go out to a mall not knowing what they are going to buy. The objective is to SHOP, not to fill a need. To a man, this is simultaneously a waste of time and money.

Women watch television, men channel surf. Before a woman selects a channel, she decides what she's going to watch, and then watches it (at the most checking out other channels during ads).

When a man watches television, he goes from channel to channel, not knowing what he's going to watch. The objective is to SURF, not watch a show. To a woman, this is incredibly frustrating.



Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[kbordson 8]

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Besides then we get to set a precedent by having KBord deliver the little canvas jockey in Freefall.

I have seen one or two women that could push the baby out that quick... but then how do you put the tandem rig on the baby???!!! Or is the umbilical cord enough of a bungee? (correct answer: nope)

[mnealtx 0]

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Besides then we get to set a precedent by having KBord deliver the little canvas jockey in Freefall.

I have seen one or two women that could push the baby out that quick... but then how do you put the tandem rig on the baby???!!! Or is the umbilical cord enough of a bungee? (correct answer: nope)

Funny as hell mental picture, though!!!

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

[cocheese 0]

Ok ok give me back the remote. Here's my credit card. Go shopping.