scrotumsniffer 0 #26 August 8, 2007 Quote Quote There are currently 65,432 Users. Of those there are 17,071 users with one or more posts. Over 500 of those user names are registered to a guy named Funks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildcard451 0 #27 August 8, 2007 Quote Quote Quote There are currently 65,432 Users. Of those there are 17,071 users with one or more posts. Over 500 of those user names are registered to a guy named Funks. ........Whoever you are you owe me a new keyboard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 622 #28 August 8, 2007 it's prolly just Funks hisself! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
birdshit 0 #29 August 8, 2007 Angeline Jolie lies naked in bed reading YOUR posts. And she is so highly aroused she can't help but to get a big tub of 'Country Crock' and a Large, knobby Zuccinni out of the fridge and... and... Stir Fry! Yeah! DZ.com kicks evil ass! How evil? Let me show you my sad little world. Maybe Mr. Funks is Obsessive Compulsive, but instead of washing his hands 1200 times a day, or counting the specks of dust on his TV from right to left and then left to right and comparing his results using statistical analysis or buying hundreds of copies of "Catcher in the Rye" and theorizing about Secret Shadow Government Organizations or how Jews Started All the Wars in the World he just registers at DZ.com (but his sickness prevents him from actually logging in)... Maybe it's free therapy for him. Maybe he is stuck in his own private little hell waiting to drop the mother of all jokes that will leave us all in the Intensive Care Unit with collapsed lungs and shattered ribs from uncontrollable mind bending maniacal laughter that must surely ensue after he opens Pandoras Joke? But he can't log in, so he sits snickering 'this is gonna be so funny' to himslef in his sad, crazy little 6 year old girl voice sitting in his moms basement, lurking and lying in wait, at any moment pulling the trigger on the best joke ever told and getting us all really ROFL... Or maybe it is a tribute to Darwin's theory of 'Natural Selection' and mr funks believes that simply registering gives him the ability to post messages in the forums, but when he clicks on the topic headings, all he ever sees is "Can't Post". It infuriates him and his continued failure combined with his Erectile Dysfunction drives him to the brink of sheer madness. In a moment of brilliant clarity, he gives up on that dang old internet thang and switches over to the '700 Club' with 'Pat Roberts live from the Tower of Power' (praise Jesus my borthers anduh sistuhsah). That is of course, unless WWF, Jerry Springer, NASCAR or Dukes 'o Hazzard is on, in which case he kicks his pregnant naked sister and her uncle/dad out of the trailer, grabs some creamy Jiff peanut butter and a 40oz Natural Light, and calls his dog! It's TV Time!!! "Hey Flash! It's snack time baby!!! Hop up here you sexy thing! Yuk, Yuk, Yuk" Whoa! Whew... Ok, Sorry people. My doctor says it takes a few weeks for the drugs to 'build up' in my system, and then the voices will stop harassing me about the goddamn golf shoes. Why on earth would Hunter Thompson ever off himself with a shotgun when he was the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ? I just don't get it. Any ideas? At least they let me have internet access in here. They say until I am better it is safer to keep me here.. I asked safer for who, me or the world? Then I got this funny jacket and I have to type with a #2 pencil shoved up my left nostril. No shoelaces, but a laptop and a 802.11G Wireless Card with the 108mbps rfc draft extensions.. Man it is fast! Yeah baby. No more boobies peeling down the screen one pixel at a time! Now it's more like an 'ambush'!! Like emeril is cooking me up some boobies off the dirty old internet. BAM! BAM-BAM! Ha! I swear I'm not crazy. I am just messing with yall. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #30 August 8, 2007 QuoteFACT: Those who post on DZ.com on a regular basis are more likely to post pictures of their girlfriends boobies than normal folks. I don't have a girlfriend. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #31 August 8, 2007 < anything remotely interesting>> Fixed it. (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sharimcm 0 #32 August 8, 2007 Quote Quote FACT: Those who post on DZ.com on a regular basis are more likely to post pictures of their girlfriends boobies than normal folks. I don't have a girlfriend. But... That's not what you told me last night. I thought we... Oh, nevermind. "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #33 August 8, 2007 Quote I don't have a girlfriend. ---------------------------------------------------------- But... That's not what you told me last night. I thought we... Oh, nevermind. I swear i meant everything i said last night baby. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
birdshit 0 #34 August 8, 2007 QuoteFACT: Those who post on DZ.com on a regular basis are more likely to post pictures of their girlfriends boobies than normal folks. Hey I got boobies from three different women, sometimes all in the same pic. Wouldn't I get banned or something por posting such smut? What If I photoshop a "DZ.com is the kewest" tattoo around one of their nipples? Then its like an AD right? They should pay me! LOL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 8 #35 August 8, 2007 Quote I don't have a girlfriend. And since when did that stop any skydivers, sunny?!?!=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
