Funniest thing you did with a ski rope

[cocheese 0]

What's your story ? How bad did it hurt ? How fast were you going ?

[McDuck 0]

I neglected to let go before I crossed the power cord draped over the pole at the top and subsequently shut the tow-rope down. That was while I was learning to snowboard...a few months ago.

Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28
"I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC
Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school.

[cocheese 0]

Ha good one. But i'm talking more in the area of water ski ropes/handles, a moving object towing you, and a bad case of insanity.

[wingnut 0]

just a tid bit of advice....

never wrap tow rope around ones neck........

______________________________________
"i have no reader's digest version"

[BenHall 0]

Well in that case....I was riding snowboard behind a 1000cc sled.......went pretty quick over a jump, unfortunately the snowmobile went a little awry in the air and slowed down quite a bit when it landed, enough for me (still w/ lots of speed) to have to manuever like crazy to avoid smacking into it after I landed. Anti-climactic but f-ing scary at the time!

[Amazon 7]

We skiied behind the 4x4 pickup truck for 33 miles going over the Cascades HWY...there was at least a foot of snow on the road and we chained up all 4 wheels. It was snowing reallly hard. They were just about to close it for the winter.

[livendive 8]

I think I'll win this one.

I was 12 or 13 years old, and I was at summer camp with my church's youth group. It was my first time ever water-skiing. The driver and spotter were pretty young, probably high school seniors, and she (the spotter) was clearly interested in him (the driver). My life vest was too big for me, and we were using a tow-bar, not rings.

For being my first time ever, and never having snow-skied, I was pretty damned proud of myself for getting up on the first try. I wasn't all that balanced, but I was up...for like a full 7 or 8 seconds.

When I yard-sale, I don't fuck around. I held onto the bar until impact, at which point it somehow went between my legs and lodged behind my butt (horizontally between my cheeks and thighs, not in my ass you perverts). Somehow in the process I got a half-hitch in the rope. Those of you who know knots probably know that a half-hitch can only really exist if it's around something. Well considering the bar was behind me and the rope ran between my legs, to the boat in front of me, what do you think it was half-hitched around? Yes, the boat was suddenly towing me by my penis.

The spotter, having a thing for the driver and having seen me get up, wasn't watching me...she was busy flirting with him. The driver, being an 18 year old or so boy and distracted by a girl in a bikini talking to him, didn't notice either. So the boat KEPT towing me by my penis.

The first thing to do when trying to remove a half-hitch is to take any tension off it. Did I mention my life vest was too big? Well it was. Being towed underwater by my penis made the life vest ride up around my head, and my arms were forced over my head by it. FYI - It's tough to remove a half hitched rope from around your penis when you're a) blinded by an ill-fitting life vest, b) sputtering, trying not to breathe in water, and convinced you're about to drown, and c) unable to move your arms from overhead.

This went on for hours. OK, maybe 6 or 7 seconds, but tell me you don't see how it would seem like hours. Finally, the driver of the boat pulled back on the throttle. I acted as a sea-anchor, slowing the boat with the drag of my body (connected by my penis), and soon the tension was off the rope, the knot came undone, the life vest went back to where it was supposed to, and I popped to the surface seeing spots from the pain.

I was trying really hard not to cry as I yelled at them that I was done, to come back and get me. I mean trying REALLY hard. I got the standard lectures about getting back on the horse, that if I didn't try it again now, I'd always be afraid to, etc. They had no idea what I'd been through. I summarized what had just happened to me, and was quite adamant about wanting in the boat...NOW. They conceded and dropped the ladder, and I spent a couple of minutes trying to get up it before I succeeded. There were tears in my eyes, but I wasn't actually crying as I got aboard, and I barked at the girl when she asked me if I was ok. I told her no, that I was hurt, and she played the "I'm older, let me see if you're ok" card. I took a deep breath and looked down my shorts for myself. My penis was bleeding, and the head was already bruised. I told her that she didn't need to see, but that I needed to go back to the dock now and be let off the boat.

Then I cried.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[Amazon 7]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


Ok dats funny chit man



so did it stretch it at all?

[NWFlyer 2]

Yeah, I think you win.

Yet you were still able to father a child a few years later, so at least we know there wasn't irreversible damage.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[eeneR 1]

Oh man...that sucks....

but reads damn funny

She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway."
eeneR
TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto

[livendive 8]

Notice there have now been three replies by women and none yet by men. That's cuz the men are still protectively cupping their crotches and trying not to vomit at the thought.



Blues,
dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[eeneR 1]

Some how im sure you are 100% correct. Followed with they have no idea how the hell to respond to that.


Well other then OOOOUUUCCHHHH

She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway."
eeneR
TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto

[waltappel 1]

Quote

Notice there have now been three replies by women and none yet by men. That's cuz the men are still protectively cupping their crotches and trying not to vomit at the thought.



Blues,
dave

Damn right about that!!!!

Walt

[Bolas 5]

My reactions while reading this:



You should have told her she needed to kiss it and make it better.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[livendive 8]

Quote

You should have told her she needed to kiss it and make it better.

Yeah, she could have earned her red wings!!!

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[MrBrant 0]

Quote

Notice there have now been three replies by women and none yet by men. That's cuz the men are still protectively cupping their crotches and trying not to vomit at the thought.



Blues,
dave

Or wishing our penis' were large enough to have a ski rope hitched around it while in shrinkage mode

[Bolas 5]

Quote

Or wishing our penis' were large enough to have a ski rope hitched around it while in shrinkage mode

And that was at 12 or 13.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[skybytch 259]

Quote

Or wishing our penis' were large enough to have a ski rope hitched around it while in shrinkage mode

I blame you for the rum and coke I now have dripping from my monitor.

[popsjumper 2]

Tubing, 45mph, hitting the wake and flailing uncontollably in the air only to hit liquid concrete at the end of the ride.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[CSpenceFLY 1]

We were on a weather(wind) hold one day and took two of them and made a kite out of a 230 sq ft canopy.The winds were gusting to 40.


.

[jumpchikk 0]

Tubing behind a boat around 40 mph, went off the boat wake came back up over on one side of the wake and when we hit (my friend was in the tube with me), we were launched several feet off the water and hit on the other side of the wake, but when we landed, the ski rope was wrapped around my leg somehow, my friend fell of the tube free and clear, but I was being drug under water with the ski rope wrapped around my leg, boat still going a good 40 mph...It scared the hell out of my brother who was driving the boat and he immediately jerked the boat into reverse..no slowing down...it's amazing he didn't mess up the engine... I walked around with a bruise that spiraled all the way down my leg. I wanted to get tubing into the Summer Olympics...one of the most intense things I've done.

[skymama 35]

Carl Daughtery took me tubing behind his jet ski on the lake behind his house in Deland. Like most tubing incidents, I hit a big wave, flew through the air and wiped out pretty hard on the water.

When I came up for air, I saw that the guys who were sitting on land at his house were all standing up, looking for me. They later told me that they weren't standing to see if I was ok, they were just trying to get a better look to see if my bikini top came off.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[jasonRose 0]

OUCH!!!!!!!! That hurts me just thinking about it!!!!!

Some day I will have the best staff in the world!!!

[BigSky 2]

First off let me just say that is the funniest thing Ive heard in a long time.

Ok my story.

I was at Winter fest in McCall Idaho a few years back. It was snowing like crazy that weekend. We could barely get to the house we had rented on saturday morning. Well after all day of partying and no skiing and many many shots of Wild Turkey we decided to ski behind my buddies Blazer.

We couldn't find any rope so maybe this story dosent qualify, but we did find two 50ft garden hoses.

Unbeknownst to us while we were in the house hitting up the bottle of Gobbler, the plow had came along and I must say they did a very nice job. By the time we hit the end of the drive way and got out on the main road I think we were already doing like 50mph.

Our buddies who stayed said they could see the sparks for about a mile before we finally let go. Unfortunately I didnt let go on purpose and my right knee has never been the same. My skis were almost unrepairable

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, th

[craddock 0]

I started waterskiing at 4, slaloming at 7 and barefooting after that. I could have come up with a story or two....but not after that post.

Good Job!

That spot isn't bad at all, the winds were strong and that was the issue! It was just on the downwind side.