Vallerina 2 #1 April 25, 2008 My wonderful and beautiful nephew celebrated his 7th birthday tonight with friends (ie, neighborhood kids) and family (ie, the crazy people.) Is it just natural for every neighborhood to have a bully and their sidekick like in "A Christmas Story"? I noticed these two boys picking on my nephew a bit (and being the old, crazy aunt who can't keep her mouth shut, I told the one that he's a brat. Oops. In my defense, his mom, as usual, wanders off letting everyone else watch her kids....never disciplining them...he's probably never heard that he was a brat!) Seeing as I love my nephew dearly, it upsets me to see kids picking on him. What do you say to a child that has "friends" that aren't being nice? I'm guessing my method of calling him a brat was inappropriate, and I'm guessing my other desire to now go buy my nephew all the coolest toys isn't right either (this is why I should never reproduce.) Yes, I also know that since I'm not the parent, it's not my place...but I am curious as to how other people have handled it. At least I know that my nephews are the coolest kids on the block!There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #2 April 25, 2008 As K-bord's mom would say: "Karin, BE NICE!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riddler 0 #3 April 25, 2008 You weren't specific - were the other kids physically abusing your nephew? Or was it verbal banter? For physical stuff, I'm all about teaching kids martial arts at a young age. Kids learn that it's for self defense (not offense), they get used to other people attacking them, and feel perfectly comfortable hitting the other kids back. Verbal stuff is harder to deal with. I'm not opposed to dancing around the other kids and sing-songing "potty-mouth, potty-mouth, potty-mouth" Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kbordson 8 #4 April 25, 2008 Quote As K-bord's mom would say: "Karin, BE NICE!" Actually.... it was "Now Karen. BE NICE." I don't know why she kept saying "now"... cuz there wasn't a time that she said "not now" or even "later".... As far as the OP.... I probably would have acted the same way (and then felt guilty and tried to make my nephew feel better too) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #5 April 25, 2008 Quote For physical stuff, I'm all about teaching kids martial arts at a young age. Kids learn that it's for self defense (not offense), they get used to other people attacking them, and feel perfectly comfortable hitting the other kids back. Verbal stuff is harder to deal with. I'm not opposed to dancing around the other kids and sing-songing "potty-mouth, potty-mouth, potty-mouth" It was mainly verbal. I think there may have been a little shoving, but they were playing football, so it was a mix of all of the kids shoving each other. My brother has taken the kids to martial arts classes and showed them a few tricks, too. Haha! I should've done that. I also feel pretty ashamed because of one other thing that I did. The kid was bragging how awesome he was at bags or whatever that game is called....and I taunted him in a fifth-grade way..."No, you probably aren't." I know how immature it was of me, and I would've just pulled the mother aside and told her about her awful son had she been around.... It's just really hard to sit there and do nothing. It's not in my nature! And, hi, Jeff!There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #6 April 25, 2008 I would've probably called the brat a "brat" as well. The way I've handled such situations in the past with my 4 nephews and their friends is to hold a mirror up to their face when they act out. Then, I ask them what they think of their behavior. Usually they look in the mirror, have second thoughts, and then they apologize and/or change their demeanor. It's subtle, but it has worked for me. _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #7 April 25, 2008 Ooh....I like that! There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #8 April 25, 2008 Quote Ooh....I like that! That technique helps me maintain my composure as well because otherwise when I get the "don't *$% with Aunt Katee" facial expression, it gets their attention for a moment, then anything I say after that is totally tuned out and ineffective. _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ltdiver 3 #9 April 25, 2008 When I saw your thread title I wondered how you'd started a thread like this away from SC! Mean Kids ltdiver Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #10 April 25, 2008 You're being NAUGHTY!!!!! Dirtying up my thread like that....sheesh!There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #11 April 25, 2008 Makes me think of that commercial i see for the video game "Bully". I really wanna play it now. Oh, and i had 3 shows on this evening - was busy from 7:00-10:00. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #12 April 25, 2008 Keep this up, woman, and I won't let you come over and play reindeer games with me this weekend!There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ltdiver 3 #13 April 25, 2008 Quote You're being NAUGHTY!!!!! Dirtying up my thread like that....sheesh! Sorwy. How did you get [pink]pink[/pink] on your profile? Still left over from JFTC days? ltdiver Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #14 April 25, 2008 Quote Still left over from JFTC days? Nah....it's preparation for the NEXT JFTC! There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ltdiver 3 #15 April 25, 2008 Quote Quote Still left over from JFTC days? Nah....it's preparation for the NEXT JFTC! Cool! Have fun in '09! ltdiver Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DFWAJG 4 #16 April 25, 2008 Don't worry too much about your nephew. Just let him know that at his 20th year reunion, he'll be more successful than that bully. He'll pull up in his cool Jaguar, after flying first class cross country, wearing his custom made suit, which he bought with his mega-million salary, and be able to tell the bully all about all the exciting places he has traveled in this world, all the while, the bully has never left his home town....... I base this on just a little bit of experience! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kell.nl 0 #17 April 25, 2008 Quote I base this on just a little bit of experience! Odd, I never thought you were a bully... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DFWAJG 4 #18 April 25, 2008 Quote Quote I base this on just a little bit of experience! Odd, I never thought you were a bully... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thirdworld19 0 #19 April 25, 2008 At some point, kids need to be able to handle it without an adult becoming involved. Maybe, if it wasn't horrible, let it happen and then talk to your nephew afterwards about what happened and how he could deal with it next time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #20 April 25, 2008 I always tell them that nobody wants to be treated like that and nobody wants to be around people who act like that. I also mention that if they can't treat the other children well, they may not be invited next time. They need to figure it out earlier because it has a very real impact on their later life. There is always some smartass who has to "get away with" whatever they can. In larger cases, it does not have a point of actually wanting to do something, but doing it and not being punished. Eventually, attitude causes other adults to exclude them and it becomes a life choice. They are shut out of opportunities for purely social reasons. I have worked with some idiots that I will never give a reference for. It can be a small world. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lastchance 0 #21 April 25, 2008 When I was about 19 I was at a party. A friend of mine introduced me to so and so. I look at this guy and say so you are so and so, huh. Well you probably don't remember me but when I was 8 yrs old and you were 10 you terrorized me incesantly and beat me up regularly. Well now I stood a head taller than he and weighed at least 30 lbs. more. I looked down at him and told him that I should probably kick his ass right there on the spot for making my life such a living hell back then. I loved that moment. You should have seen the fear in his eyes because he knew I was serious. He left the party in a big hurry and I never had the chance to meet up with him again. Ahhh, Good times. I may be getting old but I got to see all the cool bands. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
