timmyfitz 0 #1 April 17, 2009 You could get seriously injured Man with flatulence problem gets stabbed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pinkfairy 0 #2 April 17, 2009 This was about flatulence in MOTELs, not in airplanes. You should be safe in the plane! Relax, you can die if you mess up, but it will probably not be by bullet. I'm a BIG, TOUGH BIGWAY FORMATION SKYDIVER! What are you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrwrong 0 #3 April 17, 2009 Atleast one DZ in Sweden has banned farting in the plane if tandem are present “The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.” - George Bernard Shaw He who dies with the most toys, wins..... dudeist skydiver # 19515 Buy quality and cry once! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #4 April 17, 2009 I don't know. I have a hook knife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildWilly 0 #5 April 17, 2009 Quote Atleast one DZ in Sweden has banned farting in the plane if tandem are present Ya, good luck with that. It's not always that easy to hold one back. Did they come up with some fancy fart detector to identify the offending party.growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Glitch 0 #6 April 17, 2009 It's a good idea not to let em rip, and for more than just one reason. I knew a jump pilot who would eat boiled / deviled eggs on Sat nites, just to return the favor! Randomly f'n thingies up since before I was born... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybill 19 #7 April 17, 2009 Hi fizz, What!!??!! And give up a time honored tradition?? In the name of all those great "Aerial Gas Greats" those that are still alive and those who have departed, I say "NO WAY!!" Here's to the late Dirty Ed, Bear, Jimmy Crawford and Richard Haden just to name a few oh yeah and Randy "Stinky" (he's still alive) Green too!!! Used to be "GAS" was the only way to insure a fast small door Beech 18 exit!!!!!!SCR-2034, SCS-680 III%, Deli-out Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madhatter 0 #8 April 17, 2009 So what are they gonna do if you fart while a tandem pax is in the plane? Throw you out? A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildWilly 0 #9 April 17, 2009 Quote It's a good idea not to let em rip, and for more than just one reason. I knew a jump pilot who would eat boiled / deviled eggs on Sat nites, just to return the favor! All's fair in skydiving and fart football.Willygrowing old is inevitable, growing up is optional. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaRusic 0 #10 April 17, 2009 Quote So what are they gonna do if you fart while a tandem pax is in the plane? Throw you out? what happens when its the tandem passenger that lets one rip The Altitude above you, the runway behind you, and the fuel not in the plane are totally worthless Dudeist Skydiver # 10 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrwrong 0 #11 April 17, 2009 Quote So what are they gonna do if you fart while a tandem pax is in the plane? Throw you out? You have to buy beer.... a 24 pcs case of beer “The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.” - George Bernard Shaw He who dies with the most toys, wins..... dudeist skydiver # 19515 Buy quality and cry once! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madhatter 0 #12 April 17, 2009 Quote Quote So what are they gonna do if you fart while a tandem pax is in the plane? Throw you out? You have to buy beer.... a 24 pcs case of beer A small price to pay Antything not paying rent has got to get out! A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
regulator 0 #13 April 17, 2009 Can we get more clarification on 'fart football'? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildWilly 0 #14 April 18, 2009 Quote Can we get more clarification on 'fart football'? Well this guy was in bed with his wife and they like to play fart football. The guy works up this fart that was long and loud, then his wife said I can do better than that. So she works one up and lets it fly. It was longer and louder than his so she scores 6 points. In round 2 she goes first and only manages a squeeker. Well he works really hard on the next one. Finally he lets fly and shits all over his side of the bed. Not wanting to be out done his wife says it's her turn, to which he interupts her to say Half Time switch sides.Willygrowing old is inevitable, growing up is optional. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
javelin1 0 #15 April 18, 2009 you all have NEVER experienced a fart as deadly as one that eminates from a colostomy bag! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lippy 779 #16 April 19, 2009 Quote So what are they gonna do if you fart while a tandem pax is in the plane? Throw you out? I got kicked out of a Cessna at Skydive Niagara once. I was pretty rank that morning and I thank the pilot for getting up to 2500 before opening the door and telling me to 'get the fuck out of this plane you stinky bastard'. I thought he was joking for a minute, till I saw his eyesI got nuthin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pwln 0 #17 April 19, 2009 2500, those are the best. I LOVE to let one rip and tell the plane I have a present for them, then exit when everyone else is going all the way up. Cessna, Otter, CASA, whatever. I don't have to smell it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gearless_chris 1 #18 April 19, 2009 Gorge Carlin says, "Fuck you, I'm getting in the plane, I hear it's a little breezy on on top.""If it wasn't easy stupid people couldn't do it", Duane. My momma said I could be anything I wanted when I grew up, so I became an a$$hole. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dave1960 0 #19 April 19, 2009 you all have NEVER experienced a fart as deadly as one that eminates from a colostomy bag! ---------------------------------------------------------- That's the second worst, and for those of you not in the medical field i'll just say that Dead men do tell tales! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skydave103 0 #20 April 20, 2009 I guess the stabber has never farted in his life! Thats pretty extreme response. Heres a funny fart joke: Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" She says: "You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me." Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her. Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts. Within a few seconds a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam toward him. The Huge Man says: "Sir, did you call for me?" Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?" The Huge Man says: "You must be new here; it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The huge man then easily spins Bob around, bends him over the bench and has his way with him. Bob rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling naked receptionist who asks: "May I help you?" "Here is your card and key back," Bob says. "You can keep the $500 joining fee." "But Sir," the receptionist says, "you've only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our facilities." "Listen lady," Bob says, "I am 58 years old, I get a hard-on twice a month, but I fart 15 times a day. No thanks." LifeshouldNOTbeajourneytothegravewithawellpreservedbody,buttskidinsideways,cigarinone hand,martiniintheother,bodythoroughlyused upandscreaming:"WOO HOO!! What a ride!!!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
