Dumbest Household Injury

[Keith 0]

One time I had finished making dinner, don't remember what, but I had finished making dinner and it was ready to come out of the oven. I do remember thinking where the hell did Tony (my room mate at the time) put the pot holders? Then I remember thinking beer or wine with dinner? Beer or wine? Beer or wine? I forgot all about the pot holders and grabbed the the dish with both hands. I blistered all 8 fingers and both thumbs. Needless to say I didin't eat dinner that night but I did watch TV holding a cold beer in each hand.

Keith

Don't Fuck with me Keith - J. Mandeville

[Belladonna 0]

This is a few years ago. I was installing a speaker in my car (I had just bought a new stereo). I was feeling lazy and didn't want to take the skin off the door to do the install... I must have been pulling the doorskin up... with a screwdriver in my hand... I ended up almost putting my eye out with the screwdriver. I still have a scar on my eyelid... two streaks leading to an X.

[BillyVance 34]

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This is a few years ago. I was installing a speaker in my car (I had just bought a new stereo). I was feeling lazy and didn't want to take the skin off the door to do the install... I must have been pulling the doorskin up... with a screwdriver in my hand... I ended up almost putting my eye out with the screwdriver. I still have a scar on my eyelid... two streaks leading to an X.

You mean kinda like this -->

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[TheAnvil 0]

The 'battered husband' bit has me chuckling right now...

Vinny the Anvil
Post Traumatic Didn't Make The Lakers Syndrome is REAL
JACKASS POWER!!!!!!

[Spenck 0]

Not about me but my mum bruised her knee cap pretty bad after doing a Patrick Swayze impersonation, sliding along timber floorboards straight into one of the timber dining table legs. Also after i punched my sister when we were little, i ran around a couch - she followed me and broke her toe after it got caught on the corner, at least she didn't catch up to punch me back

Kate

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"The day you were born you were born free, that is your privilege"

[BillyVance 34]

My roommate tore his ACL trying to imitate Luke Duke sliding across the hood of the General Lee...

It was the funniest thing I ever saw. I don't care how much pain he was in, I laughed my ass off!!!



Poor, stupid, bastard!

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[jkm2500 0]

My wife was trying to make a smoothie with a cheap blender that I bought (about a year ago). She had the blender all revved up, and I don't really know what happened next. The pitcher part of the blender seperated from the base and she caught the spinning blades. From the look of the wound it probably chopped about 4 or five times before she got her hand removed from the spinning blades. That was good for some stitches.

I have done some dumb things in my time, but I will tell a story that will make the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

When I was 14 years old I was involved in boy scouts. On one of the scout adventures, the scout leader taught us how to make a launcher for two liter pop bottles. If you are familiar with the water rockets they work in a similar fashion only using a compressor for air pressure.

So we have this contraption that hooks up to the air compressor, and you fill a bottle about half full of water. Up end the bottle force it down on the laucher and then hit the trigger BAM the bottles would fly to about 150 ft high.

Well, we put an addition on the house during the cold months, when my brother and I pulled this thing out to use it for the first time in a year I made a huge error in judgement. I leaned over the top of the dangerous end. THere wasnt a popbottle on it at the time, and my brother thought that it would be funny to hit the trigger at that exact moment.

Something hit me, and I stuttered back a little bit. I looked down and there was a hole about the size of a dime in my shoulder, but very little blood.

To make a long story short, WHat hit me was an 8d box nail, that had a 1/4" head on it.(about 2 1/2" in length). It passed through my shoulder, missed my heart and lungs by less than an inch, and embedded into the inside of my shoulderblade. Surgery happened 30 hours later to remove it, and when I came home that launcher was no where to be found.

the last pic is the scar from that 14 years ago. The incision scar is unmistakble, along with the zipper pattern of the staples that closed me up. The scar that in the pic is above the incision is the entry wound.

I still have that nail around here somewhere.

The primary purpose of the Armed Forces is to prepare for and to prevail in combat should the need arise.

[Remster 24]

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Enough blood spurting out to require a bandaid. A few years back, there was a tragic bagel-cutting incident that required a trip to urgent care and three stitches.

You are not to be put in charge of anything related to knifes that he xmas boobie!

Remster

[skysprite 0]

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Enough blood spurting out to require a bandaid. A few years back, there was a tragic bagel-cutting incident that required a trip to urgent care and three stitches.

You are not to be put in charge of anything related to knifes that he xmas boobie!

xmas boobie?

~skysprite

[NWFlyer 2]

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Enough blood spurting out to require a bandaid. A few years back, there was a tragic bagel-cutting incident that required a trip to urgent care and three stitches.

You are not to be put in charge of anything related to knifes that he xmas boobie!

Gosh no, Remi. I don't believe in the cutting of boobies.

Though I did just get an incredible set of knives for my birthday. This could be problematic. Hopefully I can keep all 10 fingers intact.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[NWFlyer 2]

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Ran into a glass door at a friend's house. I thought I broke my nose.

Stupid fuckers are supposed to hang something on those doors with a suction cup thingie to warn knuckleheads like me!

Speaking of glass doors,

Oh, yeah, speaking of glass doors ... I have a lovely scar on my right wrist from when I was 4. Chasing a friend outside and trying to catch the storm door ... with my hand. My hand went straight through it. Six stitches later...

[Broke 0]

I one time tripped walking upstairs and cut myself on the botton from the pair of jeans I was holding in my hand. That's talent right there

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[Cornholio 0]

A couple years ago I was tree-trimming my fruitless mulberry with an electric chainsaw. I hit a tough spot and pulled the chainsaw towards me to jerk it free. (can you see where this is going?) Well I had released my finger on the trigger, but the chain was still spinning. In an attempt to protect my face from the chain, I grabbed the bar with my hand. SLICE-SLICE!

Of course I had to take a picture of it.

It's not that gruesome, but I sure thought it was going to be worse. I got lucky. This year I wore gloves. :) Next year I'm hiring someone to do it.

edit: Luckily no stitches, but that fucker bled for hours.

Butthead: Whoa! Burritos for breakfast!
Beavis: Yeah! Yeah! Cool!
bellyflier on the dz.com hybrid record jump

[Guest]

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Those bagel injuries? I heard they are the #1 cause of emergency room trips on subuurban Sunday mornings.

IIRC, the Yiddish term "Klutz" denotes one who cuts himself instead of his bagel.



mh

.

"The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat."

[highfly 0]

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I don't believe in the cutting of boobies.

Though I did just get an incredible set of knives for my birthday. This could be problematic. Hopefully I can keep all 10 fingers intact.

You ever seen Ichi the killer?

www.myspace.com/durtymac

[skydiverbry 0]

Broke my big toe getting out of a waterbed

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Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!!

D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver)

[popsjumper 2]

back in the day...

Making popcorn
Heat up the oil in a pot on the stove
Get bright idea #1
Get messing around with GF
Smell smoke
Find flaming oil
Put lid on pot
Walk outside
Remove lid
More flames
Put lid back on and wait
Remove lid
No flames
Walk back towards house
Flames flare up
Get bright idea #2
*here's where it gets interesting - DO NOT do this!*
Shake the pot to put the flames out
Burning oil spins around inside the pot
Burning oil spins out of pot across arm and chest
Arm and chest burning oil flames
Get bright idea #3
Stop, drop and roll
Roll across front yard
Roll across driveway
Roll across flower bed
Roll out around mailbox
Roll back across driveway
Stand up and see crispy skin, rocks, dirt, twigs, bugs, worms and miscellaneous trash stuck to chest and arm
Go to hospital
Freak out nurses

So much for bright ideas...

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[RevJim 0]

http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?do=post_attachment;postatt_id=47945;
and
http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?do=post_attachment;postatt_id=47946;

Explanation thread here: http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=1704356#1704356
I still shudder thinking about how close I came to, well, ya know. Yea, it still hurts sometimes too, and itches like mad a few times a week.

It's your life, live it!
Karma
RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1

[McDuck 0]

I tried to play Harry Houdini in my garage and fell 12 feet, headfirst, onto the concrete, cracking my skull in the process. The really cool thing was not remembering any of it and waking up in ICU with tubes and probes all over me.

Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28
"I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC
Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school.

[mr2mk1g 10]

Ok two I can remember... although I'm sure I've done far worse and repressed the memories.

Thankfully neither anywhere near as bad as RevJim's.

1) Snipped right through the web of skin between my thumb and forefinger on my left hand with a pair of scissors. I was supposed to be opening a pack of coriander naan bread.

2) Sliced a chunk of skin off the first knuckle of my left thumb using a shoreform (the one I was using looked like a wood plane but instead of one blade on the base it's basically a giant cheese grater). I stupidly used it one handedly using my left to hold the item I was working on. Was a nice deep wound too right down to the bone. When I looked inside the sureform there were all these little curls of skin and flesh.

Neither healed up fully. I've got a pic of injury one after a month or two... it was still open and looked like a little mouth... I could make it "talk" by moving my hand. Injury one has just resulted in a scar a little smaller than my fingernail.

[Andy_Copland 0]

I needed to be up for work and my alarm clock didnt have a fuse, being technically skilled i decided some tin foil would do the trick. Then after my tin foil trick i decided not to put the lid of the plug back on and proceeded to plug it into an extension lead.

Early morning alarm goes off, i jump out of bed and bare foot straight on to live open plug.

1338

People aint made of nothin' but water and shit.

Until morale improves, the beatings will continue.

[Salsa_John 0]

I kicked a leg of my coffee table the morning after I safely did two tandems and broke a toe. !@#$%^&*)(!!!

Hurt like hell!!! and took months to totally heal...

"You did what?!?!"

MUFF #3722, TDSM #72, Orfun #26, Nachos Rodriguez

[PLFXpert 0]

I was helping carry my hunny's grandma in her wheelchair down some stairs (like 4 stairs, not a flight), somehow tripped and bruised (possibly fractured) a rib. I had just switched companies and being 24 years old, elected against the terribly expensive Cobra and decided to risk the 90 days before my new health ins. would kick in.

So, naturally, I didn't go to the doctor---only b/c there's nothing they can do for that type of injury but X-ray you (and charge you for that) and tell you, "Yup, it's fractured", then wrap you in an ACE bandage and tell you to take it easy and keep it on for a couple months (and of course, charge your for that and for follow-ups). So, I just took it upon myself to wrap an ACE bandage around my ribs everyday for two months--it stopped hurting (and stopped poking out if I tried to sit up from lying flat on my back) after about 9 weeks.

A year later when I had my annual physical (earlier this year) I had them X-ray it just to make sure everything looked like it was in its proper place. It was. Yey!

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[Floats18 0]

1) Broke my right thumb running through the house and getting it stuck in the door. Heard a [crack!]... was confused

2) Opened one of those disposable cameras that say "do not open for risk of electric shock." Woke up on the floor, mom screaming.

3) Frizbee to the face requires stiches and new shirt

--- and give them wings so they may fly free forever

DiverDriver in Training

[monkycndo 0]

I think I was 6. Couldn't find the can opener to punch a hole in a can of sweetened condensed milk. Decided to use a big ice cream paddle and knife like a hammer and punch to make the hole. Saw my brother do it a bunch of times. Only problem is his hands were twice as big as mine and I couldn't hold the knife and the can at the same time. Hit the knife with the paddle and the knife bounced off the can and stuck into the meaty area between my thumb and forefinger. The knife was small and it just stayed stuck in there standing straight up.. My sister saw it, pulled it out and took me to the sink to run some cold water on it. It really didn't hurt that badly until it went under the water. I think that was the first time I called her a bitch.

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