Labia Makeup WTF?

[1969912 0]

http://www.amazon.com/My-New-Pink-Button-Bettie/dp/B002P0ST1K/ref=sr_1_1/175-1862352-2737014?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1269219324&sr=8-1

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[happythoughts 0]

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...designed by a female certified Paramedical Esthetician

A what? Esthetician?

I'd like to be involved in the clinical trials.

"Yes, I know I am a man, but I am a CPE.
I am applying this in a strictly professional manner.
... small circles."

[NWFlyer 2]

The first review gets it right...

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Doesn't your man deserve perfection?, March 5, 2010
By Charlene Vickers (Winnipeg, Manitoba) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
Ladies, we all know that we are nothing unless we can catch a man and keep him. We also know that the fat, balding, underachieving, middle-aged shlub we married will ditch us in a moment for that man-stealing ho Miss Universe if we aren't superficially perfect at all times. But what to do when we start to look like one of those "normal" women instead of an always-perfect supermodel?

My New Pink Button is the answer! Formulated by a quack manicurist - sorry, I mean a "paramedical esthetician" - My New Pink Button will take off the years, take off the children, and take off the reality! Its patented "natural" "formula" (wink wink) is guaranteed to remove what other, lesser women call "normal vaginal coloration" and replace it with pink perfection! And all this with a minimum of permanent scarring and complete loss of sexual response - but who needs that anyway, sex is for men!

My New Pink Button has never been tested on animals (so if it burns your skin off or causes cancer that's your problem) and contains twenty disposable applicators (so you'll be able to fool him twenty times!).

Remember, girls: when your man comes home after a long, hard day of standing around the water cooler telling dirty jokes and ogling the secretaries, he deserves the hottest, most ultra-conformist woman he can find. You owe it to him to be as superficially perfect as you can! Buy My New Pink Button today!

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[Nataly 38]

Mwaaa ha haaa!! I didn't read that far.. That's hilarious!

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[JohnMitchell 14]

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...designed by a female certified Paramedical Esthetician

A what? Esthetician?

Didn't they invent irrigation or crop rotation or geometry?

[1969912 0]

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[shah269 0]

Screw pink!
Make it glow in the dark!
Now that would be fun!

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[BillyVance 34]

Hmmm... this could be a new contest for thanatos340 to offer at next year's RoamingDZ St Patrick's boogie in Fitzgerald.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[dreaming13000 1]

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Screw pink!
Make it glow in the dark!
Now that would be fun!

lol
+1

"A man only gets in life what he is believing for, nothing more and nothing less" Kenneth Hagen

[skymama 35]

So, what were you ordering when you found that page?

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[DSE 3]

Where the extended length, extended turgidity 12" schlong I've been looking for?

[skyrider 0]

Suddenly all those lip print stained tissues in the bathroom trash, have a new look!

[anthonyfellows 0]

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Screw pink!
Make it glow in the dark!
Now that would be fun!

Remember that girl in your office who doesn't say thank you? Try offering her some of this stuff.

Serious relationships turn into work after a few weeks and I already got a fucking job :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H.A.F. = Hard As Fuck ... Goddamn Amateurs

[regulator 0]

I like the second review better....

So, a female esthetician (read: not a doctor) noticed her lady-bits were fading, and invented vagina dye.
That really, honestly happened.
I would write more, but this entire concept is so stunningly retarded, I am at a loss for words.

Does any woman over the age of ten really need to be told not to go merrily daubing her cooter with mystery substances? "Natural" doesn't mean safe (see: hemlock, stonefish, sulfuric acid).

[1969912 0]

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So, what were you ordering when you found that page?

I found it at http://thewvsr.com/index.php/fast-food-review-mcdonalds-big-mac-snack-wrap/#comments. Go about halfway down the comments and the Amazon link is from someone called Uncle_Wedgie. Another 5 or six comments further down is one from Swami_Bologna with a Wikipedia link. Now scroll up and look at the pic of the unwrapped McDonalds product again The review and comments are hilarious.

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[Andy0689 0]

The amazon listing has a review made by Count Beefula "Beefy" that had me in tears.

I got the ole misses some of this cooter cream cause although she is a classic let's just say she wasn't garage kept. We both enjoyed ourselves as I waxed her squack and the dye really brought out the original finish. My only question comment is that I wish it had that new car smell, or maybe leather. But anyway, I've been inside my wife all week and it's been a great ride.

Andy
I'll believe it when I see it on YouTube!