npgraphicdesign 2 #1 December 21, 2009 Dear Dr. Shah, I seem to have a problem. I met the perfect woman 10 years ago and cannot get over her. Have not been able to meet anyone quite like her, and cannot get her out of my head. What do you recommend? Sincerely, npgraphicdesign (psst...I have popcorn in the microwave if anyone else wants some...) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #2 December 21, 2009 Realize she had cankles. This will cure you. Then you can marry her and be miserable. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thedude325 0 #3 December 21, 2009 First you must ask yourself something: are either of you engineers? If so, it'll never work. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrwrong 0 #4 December 21, 2009 Quote What do you recommend? Man you have to start to date a LOT of strippers and ballet dancers to get over her.... An alternative might be soccer moms if the other categories are too hard to catch.... “The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.” - George Bernard Shaw He who dies with the most toys, wins..... dudeist skydiver # 19515 Buy quality and cry once! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbry 0 #5 December 21, 2009 If NP is asking Shah's advice he must be real....I mean REAL desperate nowBry -------------------------------------------------- Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!! D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #6 December 21, 2009 I already told you what to do, so don't be a dork. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 2 #7 December 21, 2009 Quote If NP is asking Shah's advice he must be real....I mean REAL desperate nowBry you guys give worse love advice then Jerry Springer Shah!! Where are you?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Misternatural 0 #8 December 21, 2009 >Shah!! Where are you?? For some reason Shah doesn't like to trade insults-We've tried and tried ...must be a Persian thing.. I think he needs to date Lisa NSFW Lampanelli for some pointers. Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires. D S #3.1415 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BDashe 0 #9 December 21, 2009 First- you said perfect, that's funny. Glad you've convinced yourself of that RomCom cliche. Like JM said- she had cankles, or a fupa, or was really f*cking annoying in some respect somehow- hated your best friend, your dog, whatever. somewhere in there she sucks, find it and remember it. Second- stop being a pussy. Think with your head and/or your dick for a while til that becomes natural. Your heart doesnt have a head therefore no brain, so you can't listen to it. Your dick does and your head is a head, listen to em. http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/e6faf388ce/show-me-your-genitals-2-emc-vagina-from-jon-lajoie "[You] don't have feelings cuz feelings are gay"So there I was... Making friends and playing nice since 1983 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #10 December 21, 2009 QuoteDear Dr. Shah, I seem to have a problem. I met the perfect woman 10 years ago and cannot get over her. Have not been able to meet anyone quite like her, and cannot get her out of my head. What do you recommend? Sincerely, npgraphicdesign Mr. NP, What does NP stand for? Novel Pigeon? Navel Persuit? The list can go on and on so I'll just call you P for short. So, P you met the perfect women 10 years ago and you can't get over her? Well my good P I feel your pain, usually early in the morning, for there is only thing worse than long distance infatuation it's long term infatuation. For if distance makes the heart grow fonder then time causes ones heart not only to swell but the inner eye to go blind. That is to say I'm sure she was and is a very nice girl and she had to be because 10 years later you are still thinking of her, you are still chasing her ghost. But time like distance, a few too many beers and dim lighting has a way of taking some one who is ok into some one who is "perfect". Add to it the trials and tribulations of every day life, of the slings and arrows that we are faced with and what was just a mortal desire becomes an supernatural infatuation of the soul, a darkening of the mind, a pulling apart of reality. You my good P, usually after a cup of tea, are an addict. An addict of the worst kind. For you are addicted to the past, to what may have been, to the illusion that has become an all to real fantasy. A perfect memory that is whirling through your synapse like a bad song wrapped in razor wire. Will people understand your pain? Your confused looks your disconnection with reality and time. You are addicted to your own brain. And like any addiction P, such as an addiction to gold shower porn, you have to understand that the image you have held on to so intently in your minds eye is not real. Yes she was and perhaps is still a great person but she is not that perfect and like all of us is flawed and just as prone to breaking your heart as any girl you know at this very moment. My suggestion will not differ from anything that hasn't been said before, strippers and working girls are the saints of broken hearts. Helping the damned and the lost forget one heart ache, one never ending infatuation for another. But I suggest going a step further, for from pain comes liberation. Find the ghost who haunts the space between the seconds of your day, find her and see her for who she is. Just another person, just another human being, flaws and all. And see what the time between your last encounter has done. The pain you will feel as this dissonance between reality and day dreams evaporates may set you free and you will know where you stand for the first time in 10 years. As always tip your strippers well, for they may be there to comfort you in your torment, they still need to pay the bills. This is Dr. Shah saying, the year is coming to an end and what has been has been and nothing can be said nor done to change the past for the foundation has set. But in a few days a new year will begin and if you do nothing start the year by trying to love freely and without hesitation. And if any of you are DJ's at local strip clubs...cut it out with these short songs! I mean really! And this is Dr. S wishing you all a happy healthy and orgasmic holidays.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #11 December 21, 2009 just call him nicci! he really likes being called nicci! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #12 December 21, 2009 Quote just call him nicci! he really likes being called nicci! From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Jump to: navigation, search Nicci may refer to: In fiction: * Nicci (Sword of Truth), a character in The Sword of Truth series In literature: * Nicci French, pseudonym of London journalists Nicci Gerrard and Sean French * Nicci Gerrard, London journalist In music: * Nicci Gilbert, original member of the band Brownstone * Nicci Juice, one-time stage name of Nicole Saft, better known as RollergirlLife through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #13 December 21, 2009 in this case, it's just the short version of "nikita", and no, this is not only a girls name; it's also the name of a very hairy male individual! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 2 #14 December 21, 2009 Quote in this case, it's just the short version of "nikita", and no, this is not only a girls name; it's also the name of a very hairy male individual! When go to Switzerland next winter for skiing, I'm gonna show you what we hairy Russians do to people for comments like these Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #15 December 21, 2009 Some ladies love the fuzzy chest, give them something to hold on to when riding us Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DigitalDave 0 #16 December 21, 2009 Shah, please tell me your first name is Rick. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slcooper 0 #17 December 22, 2009 Shah, that was actually some really good creative writing! I'm impressed!Why would anyone jump out of a perfectly good airplane? Cause the door was open! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #18 December 22, 2009 Quote When go to Switzerland next winter for skiing, I'm gonna show you what we hairy Russians do to people for comments like these Isn't a Hairy Russian a drink? Vodka and cotton balls? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #19 December 22, 2009 Quote Quote in this case, it's just the short version of "nikita", and no, this is not only a girls name; it's also the name of a very hairy male individual! When go to Switzerland next winter for skiing, I'm gonna show you what we hairy Russians do to people for comments like these bring your rig! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrewEckhardt 0 #20 December 22, 2009 QuoteFirst you must ask yourself something: are either of you engineers? If so, it'll never work. Two engineers work great. Concessions to physics for home theater are possible (you can have a video projector which weighs more than she does and the reaction to sub-woofers in the bedroom is "I think we need a nicer stereo stand to match" not "what the hell are you thinking"), she can solve your RF problems, you can still get your weekly fill of fun word-play when your intelligent co-workers quit or get forced out, and she'll come with her own tool set so you don't have to worry about yours disappearing to who-knows-where. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #21 December 22, 2009 QuoteShah, please tell me your first name is Rick. Rick D? Sounds like some sort of gangsta rapper from the upper west side who is into Hello Kitty....no First name Shah, Shah D, that's Dr. D to you (insert gang sign from North NJ) and soon to be Master D.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DigitalDave 0 #22 December 22, 2009 QuoteRick D? Sounds like some sort of gangsta rapper from the upper west side who is into Hello Kitty....no First name Shah, Shah D, that's Dr. D to you (insert gang sign from North NJ) and soon to be Master D. Your rap name should be Rick Shah. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #23 December 23, 2009 QuoteQuoteRick D? Sounds like some sort of gangsta rapper from the upper west side who is into Hello Kitty....no First name Shah, Shah D, that's Dr. D to you (insert gang sign from North NJ) and soon to be Master D. Your rap name should be Rick Shah. Yeah but Dr. D sounds better! and Grand Master Shah has a nice flare to it!Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ridestrong 1 #24 December 23, 2009 Rick D? Sounds like some sort of gangsta rapper from the upper west side who is into Hello Kitty -------------------------------------------------------------- No, it sounds like some dude who would announce radios top 40.*I am not afraid of dying... I am afraid of missing life.* ----Disclaimer: I don't know shit about skydiving.---- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #25 April 20, 2011 I have received many a private messages lateley and recently there has been two very negative trends. One there has been a great reduction of women sending me emails asking for "intimate" encounters and two an even greater reduction of women sending me nude photos of themselves eating eskimo pies. Rather there has been a dramatic increase in the number of women contacting me regarding their tits....of wich they are not showing off! Note the death of the boobie thread!...and how they can obtain that loved pekry boobied look. Well apparently I'm a doctor or something since I walk around wearing a white lab coat and have this nifty photo coppy of someones diploma on my wall. Well, FEAR NOT LADIES! Or fear a little...what ever works for you I honestly don’t care...but here are 2.5 things you need to know. 1) The long and short of it are that we guys don’t really care what size your tits are. As long as they are larger than ours and less fuzzy! There is a perfect man out there for your tits. You just have to stop pretending you are good enough for Brad what ever the hell his last name is and lower your standards......SIGNIFICANTLY! On the plus side we men don't. Our boobies never sag. 2) If the above offended you and I don't really care. Look some women are born with heaving perky boobies that cause men to forget their own mothers name and to forgo their vows for a quick motor boat and then there are the rest who either will be really upsest still at point #1 or whiped out their credit cards or their boyfriends credit cards and bought themselves a nice aftermarket set! I for one love fake boobies. They are my second favorite kind of boobies! The first being the ones that I am freely allowed to motor boat with out having to stuff some sort of currency into some sort of undergarment. C) You can now eat your cookies and have your boobies to! http://www.body-philosophy.net/Japanese_Cookie_Claims_to_Enlarge_Breasts Yeah I know what you are thinking "Dr. You are so...big...." wait wrong trainof thought...."Do these thigns really work?" Look what do I look like a freaking doctor! They work great! They don't work at least you are eating cookies and bitching about how you are still pissed off about point #1 and why YOU should never lower your standards but I should! And this has been your Dr. Shah moment! Remember boys it's spring time, and when making sweet sweet love in the tent whip it out and aim for the eyes. Not only is it fun but it may save you years of aggrivation when sperm and egg become good friends!Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
