normiss 622 #1 April 27, 2011 This place is lacking in entertainment. Again. *** Adult Truths *** 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still do not know what time it is. 23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time. 24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. Ladies.....Quit Laughing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #2 April 27, 2011 I got your #5 covered. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muff528 3 #3 April 27, 2011 Quote I got your #5 covered. Obviously, much more difficult than folding a double-layered, multi-sectioned, oddly-shaped slippery nylon object. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peanutt 0 #4 April 27, 2011 Quote Quote I got your #5 covered. Obviously, much more difficult than folding a double-layered, multi-sectioned, oddly-shaped slippery nylon object. I don't know how many times I've gotten asked if packing a parachute is harder than folding sheets Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyMarko 1 #5 April 27, 2011 #13. I also get worried when Word tells me to revise my sentences because of grammar even though I know my sounds right and they're suggestion makes 0 fucking sense...Maybe that's why my papers get such low grades. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #6 April 28, 2011 #12- Hell yeah, bluray is fine. I don't want to redo my collection again. #5 - Just like packing a parachute, "rolling up in a ball" works fine for fitted sheets. #8 - Obits? Oh heck yeah, and maybe what kind of outfit they were wearing at the time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ifell 0 #7 April 28, 2011 lol I just love #22 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 622 #8 April 28, 2011 You nap while packing??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shell666 0 #9 April 28, 2011 We saw this at work a while ago. We now just say "I've hit Stage 11" .... and everyone knows what you mean!! 'Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #10 April 28, 2011 Quote You nap while packing??? Ohhh, DOH! I fixed it from #3 to #5. No, I nap while working, just like they say on the news. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
missbrz 0 #11 April 28, 2011 Quote You nap while packing??? I often nap while packing. My parachute is SO comfy! It makes my pack jobs longer but way more awesome. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 3 #12 April 28, 2011 Quote Quote You nap while packing??? I often nap while packing. My parachute is SO comfy! It makes my pack jobs longer but way more awesome. The new one isn't quite so comfy, just FYI."I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
missbrz 0 #13 April 28, 2011 Quote Quote Quote You nap while packing??? I often nap while packing. My parachute is SO comfy! It makes my pack jobs longer but way more awesome. The new one isn't quite so comfy, just FYI. I'll just take longer naps to break it in faster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,400 #14 April 28, 2011 Quote Quote You nap while packing??? Ohhh, DOH! I fixed it from #3 to #5. No, I nap while working, just like they say on the news. Have you seen today's sleep science news? http://www.tgdaily.com/general-sciences-features/55616-parts-of-your-brain-could-be-sleeping-right-now The FAA really needs to re-think their no-naps policy."There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
