One Liner Fun

[riddler 0]

Fuck. Me.

I don't know if it's may favorite, but I say it more often at work than anything else. And no, not in the sexual way. And yes, I know it's two sentences, although not two complete sentences, but it's all on one line.

Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

[Bertt 0]

Your failure to plan is not my emergency.

You don't have to outrun the bear.

[theonlyski 3]

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I see the screw up fairy has come to visit again...

I think you mean the GIF (good idea fairy)

"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

[wolfriverjoe 1,351]

You have obviously made the foolish mistake of thinking that I'm someone who actually cares.

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[headoverheels 291]

The customer wants that?

Well he can "want" in one hand and shit in the other, and see which fills up faster.

[theonlyski 3]

Well there's yer prollem

(apparently I say that a LOT when people can't figure out what's wrong)

"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

[gonzalesna 0]

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I see the screw up fairy has come to visit again...

I think you mean the GIF (good idea fairy)

No. I don't.

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[gonzalesna 0]

Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[popsjumper 2]

Engineers don't make mistakes. They make changes.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[gonzalesna 0]

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[BillyVance 34]

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Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

"you chose the box! What's in the box? NOTHING, Stupid! You're soooooo stupid!!!" - UHF

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[gonzalesna 0]

If I gave a shit, you'd be the first person I'd give it to.

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[piisfish 135]

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If assholes could fly this place would be an airport.

If assholes could fly, you would be Squadron Leader

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[BillyVance 34]

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If assholes could fly this place would be an airport.

If assholes could fly, you would be Squadron Leader

If assholes could fly, this place would be busier than Atlanta-Hartsfield International.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[muff528 3]

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If assholes could fly this place would be an airport.

If assholes could fly, you would be Squadron Leader

If assholes could fly, this place would be busier than Atlanta-Hartsfield International.

Turns out that assholes can fly. A lot 'em go low but they fly none-the-less.

[J-S 0]

When life gives you lemons make lemonade, then throw it back into the face of the person that gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you asked for in the first place.

[gonzalesna 0]

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[airtwardo 6]

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[gonzalesna 0]

*Sigh*

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[airtwardo 6]

Gonzo is like a Slinky~

...not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see him tumble down the stairs.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[gonzalesna 0]

I hate your face.

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[airtwardo 6]

Never hit a man with glasses. . .


~Hit him with a baseball bat.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[airtwardo 6]

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[usedtajump 1]

The aviation business would be great if just didn't involve airplanes, pilots and passengers.

The older I get the less I care who I piss off.

[muff528 3]

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There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

This is a work-related one-liner!? Just out of curiosity ...what is your line of work? Maybe this is just a bit of wisdom from the corporate rules and regulations handbook?