shropshire 0 #1 October 20, 2013 (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyH 0 #2 October 20, 2013 Phahah that's greatCarpe Diem, even if it kills me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyH 0 #3 October 20, 2013 One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling his red wagon behind him saying,"Fuck this," "Fuck that." The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says,"You shouldn't swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us." "Is he in the sky?" asks Johnny. "Yes," says the priest. "Is he in that bush over there?" asks Johnny. "Yes," says the priest." Is he in my wagon?" asked Johnny. "Yes," says the priest. "Well tell him to get the fuck out and push!!!"Carpe Diem, even if it kills me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,384 #4 October 20, 2013 I happened across this a couple days ago. Read the 2nd comment, (userID -> rs210): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIsbD0l_bEg "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyH 0 #5 October 20, 2013 that's probably not all tht touched himCarpe Diem, even if it kills me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jclalor 12 #6 October 20, 2013 What type of meat do priest eat on Friday? Nun. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyH 0 #7 October 20, 2013 You all know why alter boy's hair I parted in the middle right?Carpe Diem, even if it kills me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildcard451 0 #8 October 20, 2013 JoeyHYou all know why alter boy's hair I parted in the middle right? Before you finish that - pedophile jokes will get you banned pretty quickly around here. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,384 #9 October 20, 2013 The ever-popular Russian dash cam: http://videos.digg.com/post/64611777959/is-this-russias-drunkest-driver "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyH 0 #10 October 20, 2013 wildcard451 ***You all know why alter boy's hair I parted in the middle right? Before you finish that - pedophile jokes will get you banned pretty quickly around here. oops. I will not finish that joke then. Carpe Diem, even if it kills me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riddler 0 #11 October 21, 2013 Quote The ever-popular Russian dash cam: http://videos.digg.com/...sias-drunkest-driver LaughLaughLaugh At least he wasn't wearing a seat-belt. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #12 October 22, 2013 A man brings his beautiful date to a jewelry store just before closing time on a Friday and offers to buy her a gorgeous diamond necklace. She is over the moon... When he gets to the counter, he starts writing a cheque... The clerk looks at the man and politely says: "I'm sorry sir, but this is the first time I've seen you in my store. I mean no disrespect, but if this cheque bounces, you've just walked away with a very expensive necklace!" "Not to worry," the man said, "I understand your concern... I tell you what: you hold on to the cheque and to the necklace. On Monday morning call my bank and once they have confirmed the funds are available, you may cash the cheque and send the necklace to this lovely lady." Satisfied, the clerk takes the cheque, they shake hands and part ways. On Monday morning, the clerk discovers the cheque will bounce!! There is no money in the account! Outraged, he calls the man and starts yelling at him, at which point the man says: "Whoa... Calm down... You have lost nothing - you still have the necklace... I, on the other hand, have had wild kinky sex all weekend, so thanks for your help!!!" "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #13 October 23, 2013 Nataly A man brings his beautiful date to a jewelry store just before closing time on a Friday and offers to buy her a gorgeous diamond necklace. She is over the moon... When he gets to the counter, he starts writing a cheque... The clerk looks at the man and politely says: "I'm sorry sir, but this is the first time I've seen you in my store. I mean no disrespect, but if this cheque bounces, you've just walked away with a very expensive necklace!" "Not to worry," the man said, "I understand your concern... I tell you what: you hold on to the cheque and to the necklace. On Monday morning call my bank and once they have confirmed the funds are available, you may cash the cheque and send the necklace to this lovely lady." Satisfied, the clerk takes the cheque, they shake hands and part ways. On Monday morning, the clerk discovers the cheque will bounce!! There is no money in the account! Outraged, he calls the man and starts yelling at him, at which point the man says: "Whoa... Calm down... You have lost nothing - you still have the necklace... I, on the other hand, have had wild kinky sex all weekend, so thanks for your help!!!" Whats so funny . . . works every time.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
decompresion 2 #14 October 23, 2013 Nataly A man brings his beautiful date to a jewelry store just before closing time on a Friday and offers to buy her a gorgeous diamond necklace. She is over the moon... When he gets to the counter, he starts writing a cheque... The clerk looks at the man and politely says: "I'm sorry sir, but this is the first time I've seen you in my store. I mean no disrespect, but if this cheque bounces, you've just walked away with a very expensive necklace!" "Not to worry," the man said, "I understand your concern... I tell you what: you hold on to the cheque and to the necklace. On Monday morning call my bank and once they have confirmed the funds are available, you may cash the cheque and send the necklace to this lovely lady." Satisfied, the clerk takes the cheque, they shake hands and part ways. On Monday morning, the clerk discovers the cheque will bounce!! There is no money in the account! Outraged, he calls the man and starts yelling at him, at which point the man says: "Whoa... Calm down... You have lost nothing - you still have the necklace... I, on the other hand, have had wild kinky sex all weekend, so thanks for your help!!!" Sheesh Nat! You are still complaining about that? The second time he did that to you....you should have known better. Sorry! Could not resistThere are no dangerous dives Only dangerous divers Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #15 October 24, 2013 decompresion Sheesh Nat! You are still complaining about that? The second time he did that to you....you should have known better. Sorry! Could not resist Shroppy... You should know me well enough to realise I accept pearl necklaces instead of diamond ones... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,384 #16 October 24, 2013 Nataly ***Sheesh Nat! You are still complaining about that? The second time he did that to you....you should have known better. Sorry! Could not resist Shroppy... You should know me well enough to realise I accept pearl necklaces instead of diamond ones... True story; I had heard this song probably a hundred times, before it suddenly occurred to me one day what they were talking about: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ne3XojNonEU"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyH 0 #17 October 24, 2013 Nataly ***Sheesh Nat! You are still complaining about that? The second time he did that to you....you should have known better. Sorry! Could not resist Shroppy... You should know me well enough to realise I accept pearl necklaces instead of diamond ones... Not sure if this is serious or a sexual reference. Carpe Diem, even if it kills me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
swisschris62 0 #18 October 24, 2013 If you listen to that song you hear how bad it really is. 15 seconds of music(?) played in a loop. Crazy how it can make so much money....did I just say that?...man, I better get some sleep..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
decompresion 2 #19 October 24, 2013 Nataly ***Sheesh Nat! You are still complaining about that? The second time he did that to you....you should have known better. Sorry! Could not resist Shroppy... You should know me well enough to realise I accept pearl necklaces instead of diamond ones... Never google "Pearl Necklace" from a work computer. Ever.There are no dangerous dives Only dangerous divers Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #20 October 24, 2013 decompresion ******Sheesh Nat! You are still complaining about that? The second time he did that to you....you should have known better. Sorry! Could not resist Shroppy... You should know me well enough to realise I accept pearl necklaces instead of diamond ones... Never google "Pearl Necklace" from a work computer. Ever. Unless your work isn't managed by some up-tight, anal-retentive fucktwats . . . cause, then it's ok.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
