mdwhalen

This didn't happen on a plane but in Heathrow Airport over the PA. A woman with a very proper sounding British accent was announcing the arriving flights when, in mid-sentence, she accidentally let loose with a loud belch. The previously loud terminal instantly became silent and then erupted in laughter as a different voice came on the PA and finished the announcement as though nothing had happened. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

Heard over Airline Speakers! On a lengthy evening Air Canada Flight with a somewhat "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants." Upon landing, a Westjet stewardess was heard to say: "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have." Also from Westjet: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane. So pay attention!" "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." As the Continental plane landed and was coming to a stop at La Guardia, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted." From a Southwest Airlines flight crew member: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite. The captain's dulcet tones droned over the plane's speakers: "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an emergency water landing, please use them to paddle to shore and feel free to take them home with our compliments." "Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks are in the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or other adults acting like children." "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed equally amongst the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!" Heard from a flight attendant on a Westjet Airlines flight just after a very hard landing in Edmonton, Alberta: "That was quite a bump, and I know what you're all thinking ... I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault ... it was Air Canada." Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!" Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." A Canadian airline pilot wrote in his journal, a few years ago, that on one particular flight due to strong crosswinds, he had unfortunately hammered his ship onto the runway with a very hard greeting. The airline had a policy, which required the first officer on the flight to stand at the exit door while the passengers disembarked, to smile and repeat "Thanks for flying our airline." His comments indicated that, in light of the poor landing, he avoided eye contact with the passengers in an attempt to avoid any smart comments that might result. Finally there was only one little old lady left to exit the plane. Walking slowly up the aisle with a cane, she approached the awaiting first officer and said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" "Did we land, or were we shot down?" After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal." Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of U.S. Airways." A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After reaching a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax. OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant brought me a cup of very hot coffee, which ended up spilling in my lap. You should see the front of my pants! A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine! Stolen from ilovebacon.com ilovebacon.com "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

Here are several I wrote a few years ago about several of my friends at Skydive Palatka .... A naked skydiver named Cee Liked to jump from a big DC3 But to jump in the buff Can be awfully rough When its raining or hailing, said she. A flashy skydiver named Dave Was often told to behave His skydiving coach Said a straight in approach Could save him from an untimely grave. Now she’ll have to stop being so smug The nude jumpers said with a shrug “That jumper named Rondi’s Not really a blondie The curtains do not match the rug.” To this Rondi said with dispatch The curtains and rug may not match But perhaps you’d get in Not go low again If you’d just keep your eyes off my snatch. With John, she did her first tandem But fear made her hand movements random So when they alit She shouted “Oh, shit!” His testicles back she did hand him. Oh, Sir Ron, I nearly forgot, Lack of use caused his weapon to rot, But that old Knight of Gold Has a wife now I’m told Now he’s using his Lance-a-lot. Sir Ron is the first to extol The virtues of sex in freefall But when the air’s bumpy His weapon gets jumpy He rarely can find the right hole. Ron’s wife said, “This midair refuelin’ Has made my ass sore. I’m not foolin’. Your aim must improve You must find the right groove Or a new girlfriend to stick your tool in.” Brian the EM technician Was lost to eternal perdition He changed from a nurse To driving a hearse Liking girls in immobile position "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

It depends on the specific exclusionary language in the policy and the state in which it is being construed. Assuming you have a choice between companies with differently worded exclusions it could mean the difference between having insurance coverage and not. If life insurance is not a concern of yours, then you are right, the post is of no concern either, that's why I included the subject in the topic. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

The short version of this is that the Eighth Circuit Court of Appeals (which includes AR, IA, MN, MO, NE, ND, SD) recently upheld an insurer's denial of coverage for accidental death under an insurance policy that excluded deaths resulting from "Riding in a vehicle or device for aerial navigation . . . except while riding as a passenger, and not as a pilot or crew member, in any aircraft being used for the transportation of passengers" Michael Adams died on April 29, 2000, in a high-speed landing accident in Missouri. The Eighth Circuit first recognized that other jurisdictions were equally split as to whether parachuting or similar activities are considered an activity involving "aerial navigation" or some other "aeronautical" action. According to the opinion, courts in FL, LA, TX, IL and MI have held the exclusion did not preclude coverage; while other courts in TX and courts in KA, PA, GA and UT have denied coverage in similar situations (some involve hang gliders and waterski kites). The Eighth Circuit alligned itself with the latter group excluding coverage concluding that since a parachute pilot can control the canopy he or she is therefore involved in "aerial navigation." Again this is a new decision but only controls federal law in the Eighth Circuit - not necessarily even state law in that circuit. It is an ERISA decision which may explain why it was in federal court not state court. The Court notes that a skydiver "has some control over his or her direction such that if he or she wanted to set out in a particular direction, he or she could manipulate his or her hands, body, or the chute's ropes and wings to achieve a change of direction." Obviously not a very sophisticated understanding of our sport. I have attached a .pdf copy of the opinion for those of you interested. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

You are missing the very point of the opinion. The upshot of the opinion is that the waiver is ineffective against the heirs of the victim of a skydiving accident. To hold instructors liable for simple negligence if it results in a death. Simple negligence is a question of fact "Did the instructor use reasonable care in supervising the student?" Questions of negligence nearly always go to the jury, i.e. they are not thrown out by motion early in the proceedings, meaning defending an action becomes prohibitively expensive. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

Yes, this was already reported. I've read the whole opinion now and its already bad news in New Jersey and potential bad news for the rest of the country. There is no appreciable difference between the scuba release in the opinion and skydiving releases in use around the country. This is now "the law" in NJ and is out there for other states to adopt should the argument be made and accepted. The insurance industry, which would be affected whenever it settles a case involving potential death with potential heirs, will certainly take some action against this through lobbying state legislatures. http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=1030976#1030976 "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

Mirage G4 - red and white all over. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

I am a trial lawyer in Florida and have helped several DZ's and other people in the skydiving industry draft or revise their releases. The opinion as reported in the newspaper is a very significant development in tort law and while it is only binding in that state (I'm a little confused whether the story is from PA or NJ) could be followed by other jurisdictions. I preface all this on the somewhat questionable assumption that the newspaper got the opinion right. Releases offer DZs and others working in the skydiving industry some comfort that they will not be sued when something goes wrong. I know of several instances here in Florida where an injured jumper shopped his case to plaintiffs' lawfirms without success once the firms had seen the DZ's release. Lawsuits cost money to prosecute and most attorneys are not interested in pursuing a case in the face of a valid release. The fact is that under the ruling of this appellate court a DZ or instructor could not be confident that they would not be sued in the event of a fatality. I am an AFF instructor and should this become the law here in Florida I would most definitely and sadly give up my rating and go back to videos and fun jumps only. The USPA needs to be proactive with other groups in addressing this troubling development. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

I'll risk the chance that this site has been posted before. http://www.freeworldgroup.com/games/etgames/skydiver/index.html "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

Why wouldn't you? I can think of no good reason. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

Kerry "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

There are some new Hollywood FX transitions that you can go to their website and download. None of them was very interesting, to me anyway. They are certainly not worth the price of admission. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

Last week I received my Version 9 upgrade to Pinnacle Studio. I am a big fan of Version 8 (actually 8.5) and was excited about 9 coming out, promising new transitions and other changes. So far I have been very disappointed to the point of thinking about deleting it and going back to 8. None of the new transitions are very good, I have had more problems with downloads and haven't really found anything about it that I like more than 8.5. I'm curious to hear about anyone else's experience with 9. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

Bobby, Bobby, Bobby . . Eric is watching, be careful. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

Great news I can't wait to hear the details. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

Tell him not to worry about jumping with a male instructor. He's probably going to be sitting between a guys legs in the jump plane on the way up anyway and will probably have another guy sitting between his legs. He's just going to have to get over it. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

For those of you old enough to remember, "The Exorcist" was the cause of international debate. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

Great idea for a post. I was getting a little tired of the negativity in the other political posts where nobody is going to change anybody's opinion. So here goes: Bush did a great job in his first address to the nation after 9/11. He exceeded my expectations at the time. Kerry reminds me a little of Kennedy (but his wife is no Jackie O - the real dead one, not the not really dead one - if you know what I mean.) "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

I used to use Kazaa but stopped about 6 months ago. I went back into the site last night and see that it is now a pay site. I don't know if that makes it legal. I also went into ipodtunes and it too is a a pay site. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

QuoteIt shouldn't take any more time except for the formatting which is only 3 min max. I have a new TDK burner and I use Pinnacle. It takes about 40 minutes to format for a DVD versus about 5-10 minutes for a VHS format. Do you have a suggestion as to what I might be doing wrong? "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

I think you mean "fewer" rednecks. [url]http://alt-usage-english.org/excerpts/fxlessvs.html "Less" is used when referring to things you measure, "fewer" is used when referring to things you count. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

I just bought a burner and have yet to offer DVDs to students. I burned some for myself and it appears that my Sony, mid range, fairly new, DVD player will only play R- It concerns me that I could have formatting problems with students but from what I've read on here that doesn't seem to be real problem for most people. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

I've a;ways felt that Jimmy ("I must admit I have lusted in my heart.") Carter was the most decent human being whom we have elected as president in my lifetime. Unfortunately, that decency did not translate into a great presidency as he was eaten alive in Washington by the typical politicians. I don't agree with your earlier post that history won't be kind to Clinton. I think it will be Shrub who will suffer from an historical perspective. His record is attrocious and the only thing he appears to have not lied about is sex. "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama

Carl, can't you think up a better alias than Tinkerbelle? "I have magic buttons ;)." skymama