Do you WANT to jump at all? ...
Elsinore is very nice place, best to my knowledge,
not much jumping in Nevada though (i was there yesterday... 3rd time passing by, but not jumping due to high winds...)
If it is your wife that wants AFF, support her in it... but explain that it is not for you, You have already done more than most people... You have a tandem jump.
to answer your questions:
1) Automatic Activation Device - Mandatory for students anywhere in US.
2) Cutaways. average ~ 1000 (but really depends :):) some folks have 5000 + jumps with no chops... and some seem to "like" getting rid of their main every 100 or something
This sport is lots of fun. it is not for everyone though, so no reason to rape yourself if there is no "want to!"