madhatter

I'm a romantic at heart and have often used the quote from Sir Robert Scott - "Compromises are for relationships, not wine." Unfortunately you have to ask yourself how much you are willing to compromise for the rest of your life.... I have married friends that are often referred to as the standard show - I must agree I don't want to live my life as part of a similar show. A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

Haven't been able to see each other this week as I've been banned from her place due to having a cold... BUT this weekend there's a scheduled talk about jealousy (again..), child discipline and other priorities. Her daughter's spending the weekend with the bio-dad, so we'll be able to have a straightforward discussion. I'm as confused as a fart in a bubblebath sometimes, but I got some great advice via PM - follow your heart! I hope things can either be resolved (i.e. both of us compensating) or come to a head and parting of ways after this. A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

Thought I knew something about horses - broke myself 3 times in 2 years.... Many other stupid things, but not whilst I was acting grown up A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

Uhm... I think it's too late to think she'd believe that A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

Well, you saw the roller coaster relationship thing on Facebook, now you know why things were so confusing... So I guess my next question becomes how do I bow out gracefully? Is there really such a thing as letting someone down softly? A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

Yup, I was pretty frustrated when posting and also a few beers strong. Reading my original post I can see how negative it reads. There're many good things in the relationship, but the problems listed are 100% accurate. As for misinterpretation and the communication - we've had quite a few sit downs and discussions, mostly about her jealousy. She IS trying to curb her reactions, but it still surfaces every so often. Her negativity re finances and her quality of life and her discrimination when it comes to children are the biggest hurdles. She feels that blood is the key - her child will never be *our* child. The recurring advice in this thread is communication and cooling things down for a bit - I think that'll be the basis for this weekend's chat and I'll just have to take it from there. Thanks to all for the advice! A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

The poll pretty much echos my feelings, but it's still tough having to make such a decision if there's so many things that are nice. As I implied in an earlier post, I think I just needed affirmation that I'm not the first, nor will I be the last, to sit with such an issue and perhaps I was just too much a coward to trust my own instincts. A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

Nah, Turtle wanted boobies 'cause that's what the Bonfire needs. I think she's hot, but looks aren't what a relationship should be based on anyway. So there. Maybe I did the classic thing of asking a question merely to get justification for what I already though was the answer. I just needed to get a reasonably anonymous, i.e. pretty objective, view on my situation. Come to think of it, posting my side of things asking others for advice is still pretty subjective, no? Either way, I realise we need to have a serious sit down to figure out where we're going and if it's going to make both of us happy in the long run. A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

Sad thing is that thought has crossed my mind more often than I like to admit.. A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

I felt bad the moment I posted this thread, because I think what you said is spot on A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

Thanks Karen, pretty much what I've tried to do before, but a proper sit-down will be happening this coming weekend. I can understand the insecurities, be it from the previous relationship or just general, but also believe that without trust things will never be OK. A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

Hahaha, I should've known! The time out thing doesn't really suit her - tried it for a week and I got the engagement/break up ultimatim. A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

In reply to both yourself and Wendy - She has a job, I'd say average or above average salary (for S Africa), but obviously not juch spare cash. Divorce came about when hubby had to take a job out of town and was only home weekends and sometimes a week night. She has admitted to suspecting an affair, but that's contradictory to their mutual friends' assesment. She had 2 previous relationships in the year after her divorce, both about 2-3 months, so I must admit the thought has crossed my mind that she might be in a hurry to find a replacement father... A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

Signs and symptoms of tennis elbow / lateral epicondylitis * Pain about 1-2 cm down from bony area at the outside of the elbow (lateral epicondyle) * Weakness in the wrist with difficulty doing simple tasks such as opening a door handle or shaking hands with someone. * Pain on the outside of the elbow when the hand is bent back (extended) at the wrist against resistance. * Pain on the outside of the elbow when trying to straighten the fingers against resistance. * Pain when pressing (palpating) just below the lateral epicondyle on the outside of the elbow.. Sound familiar? A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

OK, so the poll is black & white, but that's how I live. Not always fun in life, nor in skydiving... Quick summary - I've known my fiancee for 7+ years, but as she was married for 6 of those, I never made my attraction known. Found out she'd been divorced for almost a year only 4 months ago, started dating and now we're engaged. Problems: - She has a daughter, almost 5 years old. i've never been married, no kids. She finds it difficult to accept that I'm willing to accept her child as my own, leading to arguments if I scold the daughter, the fact that I "pay more attention to my god-child", etc. - I recently opened a wine bar, part of a dream that's been coming almost 10 years. Now I'm not available to give constant attention, spend all her free time with her and there's extreme jealousy regarding the female clients that come to the bar. Quick side note - I've been in sales for 7 years - clients aren't always right, but I always try to keep them happy. Now, just because I smile at someone whilst chatting to them, I would rather be sleeping with them... WTF? - I'm financially over extended due to starting up a new business, so we can't go out as often as she'd like, or go shopping as we did a few months ago. 9 out of 10 comments seem to be how she's tired of struggling and not being able to enjoy her life. I've been infatuated with her for 7 years and can honestly say I've grown to love her, but it just seems that what I saw before and got to know shortly after we started dating is completely different to what I'm sharing now. Our engagement was also 90% due to pressure - either get engaged or break up. Being the Bonfire, even if you've read this far, I know I'm bound to get some smart ass replies, but all I'm really interested in is the first instinct answers which the poll should reflect. A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/fasterforward/2010/06/google_exhibits_bing_envy_with.html "Many Google users sound displeased with the new window dressing--displeased in a way that makes you wonder how they'd react if, say, Google treated itself to dinner on their credit cards or ran over their pets. One irate individual e-mailed that she was "absolutely furious" for "forcing us to open a Google account to change or get rid of it!!" Fortunately, you don't have to do that. The ever-useful blog Lifehacker posted this simple workaround: Hit the "Change Background Image" link in the lower-left, head to the "Editor's Picks" section, then scroll to the bottom to find the familiar, entirely white "theme."" A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

Maybe this'll help... A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

Happy b-day!

Great spelling... I fixed it! no, not really... A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

http://www.dopdf.com/ A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

I've only used vaseline (petroleum jelly) with vitamin E, 4+ times a day. No clingfilm / saran wrap... Some slight scabbing on days 3 & 4 which came off gradually every time I rubbed on the vaseline.. It's still a bit raised at the mo, but sensitivity is gone completely. My artist is old school - 30 years in the UK before he moved to SA and he swears by vaseline only for 2 weeks. Leandri got a tattoo a bit more than 2 weeks ago, same procedure and by day 10 it was fully healed and the colours POP. Her design was done freehand, so the lines aren't quite smooth, a nice touch... Attached pic is of her tat at 7 days. A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

It's an elven font spelling out LEANDRI, my fiancee's name

Sorry for the poor photo quality. Got my first tattoo 6 days ago A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125

Happy b-day!

Thanks a lot guys! It was an awesome day and I got spoilt rotten