chicagoskydiver

The Weakest Link Here is a very simple little test comprised of four questions to determine the level of your intellect. Your replies must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating or wasting time. And no cheating. 1: You are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in second place. In which position are you now? Answer: If you answered that you're now first, then you're completely wrong. You overtook the second runner and took their place, therefore you're second. For the next question try not to be so dim. 2: If you overtake the last runner, what position are you now in? Answer: If you answered second-last, once again you're completely wrong. Think about it...How can you over take the person coming last? If you're behind them then they can't be last. The answer is impossible!! It would appear that thinking is not one of your strong points. You would make a good weak link!!! Anyway, here's another to try, don't take any notes or use a calculator, and remember your replies must be instantaneous. Take heart! (that was the dictionary's suggestion) 3 : Take 1000. Add 40. Add another 1000. Add 30. 1000 again. Plus 20. Plus 1000. And plus 10. What is the total ? Answer: 5000??? Wrong again! The correct answer is 4100. Try again with a good calculator. Today is clearly not your day! Although you should manage to get the last question right... 4 : Marie's father has five daughters: 1. Chache 2. Cheche 3. Chichi 4. Chocho 5. ???? Question: What is the fifth daughter's name? Think quickly...you'll find the answer below... Answer: Chuchu??? WRONG!!!!! It's obviously Marie!!! Read the question properly!!!!! You are clearly the weakest link! GOODBYE!!! Hackey

So then my next question, I've got my Bachelors degree, and don't plan on going back to college in the near future, or ever really. Still a good idea? For you, maybe not. If you do, go in as an officer. Being enlisted sucks. It may help you with pursuing a graduate degree if that's what you want. Other intangible benefits include travel. Try to get an overseas assignment. The way I see it, the military is like one of those places that's great to visit but I wouldn't want to stay there. It's an entirely different way of life, and it taught me a lot. Hackey

I started counting how many days I was short when I had over 400 days left! LMAO!!! I didn't really get the short timer's attitude until I was under 40 days short though. Congrats on your ETS....which any military guy can tell you stands for "enough of this shit!" lol Hackey

I spent three years in the Army as a medic and I have absolutely no regrets. Yeah, it really sucked sometimes, but nothing worthwhile comes easy. This was in the late eighties and I think I was making somewhere around $18k a year because I got allowances for quarters and food because I was married. Single soldiers get paid less, but they get free room and board. This is the key....with the GI bill and Army College Fund my college was 100% paid for. I figure I recieved about $50k in college benefits from my military service. Not to mention I got free medical and dental while I was in, and low cost life insurance. When my daughter was born, it cost me $25 at a civilian hospital which I paid in cash on the way home, and that was just to cover food. My wife (at the time) stayed there for three days. I challenge anyone to find a civilian employer anywhere that will take a kid fresh from high school with no real skills and give them a job with those benefits and on the job training. No civilian employer I can think of would do that. Hackey

A skydiver without his logbook? Every skydiver knows that logbook is like the American Express card...don't leave home (or at least don't go to the DZ) without it! I hope it's not because he lost it...although that is a little inconceivable to me. I'm not too sure where my marriage certificate is, but I know exactly where my log book is!! Hackey

Close...but here's how I remember it...."I see a little stilleto on a man! Garamooge! Garamooge! Will he jump my fandango! Not as fast as lightning but very very frightning! Hey no wayo! Hey no wayo Hey no wayo DZO! Magnifico! I have a stratocloud...nobody loves me! He's just a poor boy with an old canopy! Sparing his life with that monstrosity! Easy come, easy go, flare it high, dump it low! This will not do! Oh! He likes to smoke it low! Let him go! He likes his openings slow! Let him go! He scares the DZO! They will not let him go! No no no no no! Mama Mia! Mama Mia! Mama Mia let me go! The DZ pub has a beverage put aside for me..for me...for meeeee! (guitar solo) Hackey

That's a great article. It's always nice to see our sport get positive press for a change instead of articles written from a misinformed whuffo perspective. Hackey

These great questions and answers are from Hollywood Squares back in the days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course. Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!," what does this mean? A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing. Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet. There's something to be said for the old days. Hope you enjoyed this bit of spontaneous humor. Hackey

Here is a link to the original site. You can read some of it and decide for yourself. I think most of what Barry says is right on. http://www.skydivenet.com/fatalities/ Hackey

This is Barry Brummit's new webpage which is dedicated to skydiving education. It lists all the fatalities that come to his attention, and includes a detailed technical analysis based on the facts available. I've contributed to it and shared my thoughts with him several times. He can't maintain the site alone, he can only do it with help from fellow skydivers. The difference between this new site and his old one is this one is backed by a database and is searchable. This site can be a valuable learning tool when used correctly. It points out the situations which most commonly occur and proactive steps that we can take to minimize these risks. Personally, I think Barry should be commended for his work as a contribution to the safety of the sport. That being said, I've been to this website before and I'm not sure why it's not working now. It's probably just temporary technical difficulty. Hackey

Sounds like you have a classic case of the "blue flu". Here's a prescription for five jump tickets. Take more as needed. lol Hackey

I just called Skydive Spaceland and they did confirm that he is no longer there. I know nothing about the reasons he left, I didn't ask, and I don't care to speculate. I'm sure he departed on good terms, or at least I hope so. Kris is a great guy, a great skydiver, a great instructor, and a great friend. I haven't had any contact with him for a while and when I heard that he had left Spaceland I suddenly realized that I have to way to contact him now. Hackey

I heard that Kris Bagwell is no longer at Skydive Spaceland. Does anyone have any info on how to contact him? He was my instructor as a student at Skydive Chicago and is a close friend. The only way I have to contact him is through his email address at Spaceland, but since he's no longer there I have no way. Any info would be appreciated. Thanks. Hackey

DZ politics? Homey don't play that!! Hackey

I landed at least a couple miles out at Spaceland in some farmer's field. I guess that's what I get for following Scotty down...lol. Merrick and Pammi were with me on that jump and landed in the same field so I didn't feel so bad..the spot really sucked! Hackey

Way to go Slappie! Congrats to the Slapster! Hackey

Being a packer is a job with huge responsibility. Students, tandem masters, and other experienced jumpers place their lives in that packer's hands every time they jump a rig that that packer packed. That being said, I would say that someone who acts in such a childish and irresponsible manner has no business packing. In any other job, that type of behavior would be or could be grounds for dismissal. It's up to the dzo to decide whether to fire her or not after a careful investigation of the facts. At a minimum she should be placed on some kind of probation and I don't think I would allow her to pack my rig anymore. Hackey

Here's a pic from my SCR ceremony at Spaceland last November. Pammi and me had ours together. One thing I learned...when it comes to SCR ceremonies it truly is better to give than to receive...LOL! Hackey

When is his actual birthday? Mine is tomorrow, May 23, and I was wondering if I might actually share my birthday with the legendary Bill Booth! Hackey

I agree. That's like telling someone who has diabetes or liver disease to "get over it"...it's a medical condition that can't just be willed away, and it's in no way a sign of weakness or a character flaw. Hackey

I've been taking antidepressents for years. As long as the depression is under control, there shouldn't be a problem. It's a medical condition, like having diabetes, and, like any other medical condition, as long as it's under control there shouldn't be a problem. Getting advice from his doctor is probably not a bad idea, however. Actually, the skydiving may actually augment the medication. The antidepressants that I take stimulate the production of dopamine, which is one of the same chemicals the brain produces more of while skydiving! Hackey

According to ancient Jewish law, you shouldn't eat cheeseburgers either. It's mixing milk with meat - not kosher - this is also in the Bible. Many things written in the Bible served a good purpose at the time it was written but is no longer relevant to the times. Perhaps the prohibition of mixing milk with meat was a public health issue at the time. Dr. Laura needs to learn to apply some common sense to things. Hackey

LMMFAO!!!! That is hysterical!!! I bet if they told him that the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary he'd go find a dictionary so he can check to see if it's true or not! LOL! Hackey

Sounds like a future Joe Jennings! LOL! Hackey