mardigrasbob

I could have been worse!! ---------------------------

Mean one, can get your teeth broken, Happened in Laguna many years back. Beach jump, unsuspecting crowd waiting on beach for landing of skygod. (hint) he is not in the plane he is in scuba gear hiding right off the beach. Dummy in fake rig hammers-in in the water. Crowd freaks and Skygod pops up out of the water.

Two words--- Lazy Ass I hate to pack! It is real work, bending, smashing, sweating, more smashing, cramming, pulling, streatching, moving the brick, more pulling and stretching, punch, pull, punch pull, fold and stuff..... -------------------------------- Ques: Master, why do birds sing? Guru: They do not have to pack.

Avacados rock!!! If you don't like guacamole; you either have not had the real stuff or its the 'green issue'. I didn't know what shit about avacados until I moved to Cali. Man, a big croissant, with ham , cheese, avacado and tomatos. BAMM!

BaaHaaHaa!!!!! Yeah you right!---Ashley Vanilli Don't forget the poster child for Star-Mangled Banner controversy, Roseanne Barr July 25, 1990 tried to add her own brand of humor to the singing of the national anthem before a baseball game in San Diego. After screeching through an off-key version of the song she added some clichéd baseball humor by spitting and grabbing her crotch. The popular sit-com comedian immediately became public enemy number one. After hearing a tape of Barr, President George Bush called it "disgusting" and "a disgrace." -and it isn't Mr. Tyler's first on May 27, 2001 Singing on Memorial Day before the start of the Indianapolis 500, Steven Tyler, lead singer of the rock group Aerosmith, angered veterans by changing the last line of the song. Instead of singing "home of the brave," Tyler sings "home of the Indianapolis 500." He apologized the next day, releasing the following statement: "I got in trouble my whole life for having a big mouth. I'm very proud to be an American and live in the home of the brave." --------------------------

Now seriously folks! www.liquidgeneration.com/poptoons/britneys_breasts.asp N.S.F.W. [url]geocities.com/zerohurt/hsp.swf ----------------------

When the Castro regime really falls, I want to go there with a car-carrier ship and bring back all those vintage cars. ---------------------------

Old men worship w/ long noses, old soulful eyes. Young girls worship, exotic, indian, w/ robes who make us feel foolish for acting w/ our eyes. Lost in the vanity of the senses which got us where we are. Children worship but seldom act at it. Who needs temples & couches & T.V. We can do it on a sunny floor w/ friends & make any sound or movement that comes. Roll on our backs screaming w/ mirth glad in the guilt of our madness. Better to be cool in our worship & gain the respect of the ancient & wise wearing those robes. They know the secret of mind-change reality. --J. Morrison ------------------------

Words to live by... On a farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were playing when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the bike, rescued the horse! Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his cock and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life. The moral of the story? (Yes, there's a moral): "When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Harley to pick up chicks." -----------------------

www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=worldNews&storyID=6576118 Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, a close friend and ally, wished Castro a quick recovery. Chavez, a former paratrooper, told supporters in southwest Venezuela he had phoned Castro early on Thursday and the Cuban leader had joked about his fall by saying: "'Chavez, I think I would have made a good parachutist."' Hours after President Fidel Castro stumbled and fell on stage during a graduation ceremony, a brief government statement Thursday confirmed his self-diagnosis: the 78-year-old leader broke his left knee and suffered a hairline fracture to his right arm. -----------------

A gift for my Femi-nazi friends. A guy and a girl are having sex when they both say, "I'm really hungry and thirsty too. It was freakin' freezing in the house so they both have an argument over who should go get the food and drink. After a while they decide to have a contest. Whoever can come up with the best poem would be the one to stay in bed. They both think for a while when the guy says, "Okay, I got one. Two times two is four plus five is nine, I can pee in yours but you can't pee in mine". So she thinks for a minute and says, "Okay two times two is four plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you'll never know the depth of mine." -----------

Sorry repost! Too lazy to search. Here it is.

Hmmmmm......... ----------------

The proof of the pussy is in the eating! ------------------

BEER ROASTED CAT The Ingredients: 1 cat cut into roast 1 can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup 1 cube of beef bouillon 1 clove of garlic 1 Fine Irish Stout, like Guinness 1. Cover and soak cat roast in salt water for 24 hours. 2. Drain water and then cover and soak in beer for 6 hours. 3. Drain and place in crock pot with your cans of soup. Add a clove of garlic, and a cube of beef bouillon. If you start to slow cook your cat in the morning with your George Foreman Cooker (or it's ilk), you'll have finely cooked feline in time for supper.

You're a buttboy! No you're a dick! I'm not going to be your monkey. -----------------

1. Blaming your farts on me...not funny....not funny at all! 2. Yelling at me for barking...I'M A FRIGGIN DOG YOU IDIOT!! 3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway? 4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... STOP IT. 5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when your not home. 6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog, WHOOOOHOOOOO what a proud moment for the top of the food chain. 7. Taking me to the vet for the "big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back. 8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet. 9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous. 10. Dog sweaters? Hello!! Haven't you noticed the fur?

Yes!!!!!!!!!!! -----------------------

Kurt Vonnegut (1976) terms a "granfalloon," a proud and meaningless association of human beings. One of social psychology's most remarkable findings is the ease with which granfalloons can be created. For example, the social psychologist Henri Tajfel merely brought subjects into his lab, flipped a coin, and randomly assigned them to be labeled either Xs or Ws (Tajfel 1981; Turner 1987). At the end of the study, total strangers were acting as if those in their granfalloon were their close kin and those in the other group were their worst enemies. Granfalloons are powerful propaganda devices because they are easy to create and, once established, the granfalloon defines social reality and maintains social identities. Information is dependent on the granfalloon. Since most granfalloons quickly develop outgroups, criticisms can be attributed to those "evil ones" outside the group, who are thus stifled. To maintain a desired social identity, such as that of a seeker or a New Age rebel, one must obey the dictates of the granfalloon and its leaders. --------------

Dude what are you smoking? I love weed but to blame cotton for the law is insane. You could always buy hemp rope or hemp clothing. What about nylon? ooh the oil companies. The bottom line is that old prejudices die hard. Weed was seen as a Black or Mexican drug that caused "those people" to go off. Marijuana is slowly becoming less criminal but no politician in his right mind is going to publically advocate decriminalizing any recreational drug. ---------------

Moderator:Senator Kerry, Do you think drug addicts are born that way? Sen. Kerry:"If you were to talk to Jeb Bush's daughter, who is a crackhead, she would tell you that she's being who she was, she's being who she was born as." ------------------

Cheney awards daughter 'Lesbian of the Year' Award. ---------------------

What do you think Travis? " Listen you screwheads: Here is a man ... who wouldn't take it any more, a man who stood up against the scum,the cunts,the dogs,the filth,here is... --------------

Did anyone catch the way Kerry said "lesbian"? He said it the way a little kid says a dirty word. Saying he knows how how Mary Cheney feels is akin to you or I saying we know how she feels. Fricken pandering friendly-ass! www.dearmary.com/ -----------------

The bottom line is: I can say anything I want about my family. But you better not. Kerry walked into a trap. The Cheney family has the right to be as mad as they want, or at least as mad as they can pretend. --------------