GraficO 0 #26 December 18, 2003 Sorry for the length... My Favorite Student Many years ago I was a static line instructor at a small dropzone in West Texas. One of my students was a gentleman by the name of Ira. Now Ira was a very simple military man with an average build, a stout belly, coke-bottle thick glasses and a stereotypical New York Jewish accent. Needless to say Ira wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer but come hell or high-water this man wanted to be a skydiver. He even bought an old Wonderhog student rig for himself with a HUGE 300sq ft. canopy in it. The rig was all set up for either static line (direct bag) or for rip-cord (when he got to freefalling). It always amazed me and the other jumpmasters/instructors that no matter how much training we did with Ira on the ground that as soon as he got to the door to begin his climb out he would always ask "where's the dropzone?" even though it was initially smack-dab below us. The next most amazing thing was that no matter where the actual landing site was, he would leave the plane, fly whichever direction he ended up going after deployment, get down to 500 feet and make a base leg turn and then at 250 feet he would make a turn to final. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. Keep in mind here that even if he was 90 degrees off wind line he would go the direction he was facing, make his base, and then turn to final… even if it was putting him downwind in the middle of nowhere. Knowing that Ira was going to do the same thing each and every jump, it became a challenge for all of us jumpmasters/instructors to try and guess which way his canopy was going to open and based on his normal flight pattern try to see who could get him to land closest to the target. Talk about superior spotting skills and using Zen to get this man to the spot! Since this was West Texas, there really wasn't much out there as far as obstacles to hit. Sometimes we would have the plane going downwind, 1 mile to the left of the DZ because Zen was telling us that his canopy would open in such a way that he would have a dead-on-site landing based on upper winds, ground winds and on his canopy piloting. We, as jumpmasters, loved the challenge and we usually got a lot closer than if we spotted for a normal student using normal spotting techniques. "POW! HERE!": Ira Does a Hop-N-Pop Ira finally felt he had the confidence to make his first hop-n-pop. We set up his rig for ripcord, checked and re-checked his AAD and drilled him on everything to prepare and try to get his brain engaged to what he was about to do. It was getting late in the day and Ira, 2 other students and myself took off for Ira's first hop-n-pop in our little 206. I sent the 2 students out first so that we could climb a little more and give Ira a little more breathing room, expecting that his slow demeanor was going to transfer to his first non-static line jump…. And I wanted a little more time to prepare myself if anything went wrong and he locked up or something. We climbed to about 5000 ft. and I started my normal "Ira Spotting" technique (which had to be adjusted because he was getting out 2000 ft. higher than normal). I gave him a long final and had him move to the door. Like clockwork he asked in his loud accent over the hum of the prop and open door, "Where's the dropzone?!?" I pointed straight down and said "there it is Ira!" and he happily but nervously replied "O-kay…O-kay…O-kay" moving his head with slow overemphasized nods. We went a little further, based on my "Ira-Zen-Spot" calculations and I told him "Put your feet out and stop!" and he did. "All the way out!"… and he did cautiously and slowly. At this point I was thinking that the time he spent inching out on the strut was going to kill my perfect Zen-Spot I had determined for him. Eventually he got all the way out and was hanging on the strut, belly to the prop-blast, stiffly half arched and finally looked back at me for his final command. What happens next was beyond comprehension. From that point on, everything was going on in slo-motion. He looked at me and I jammed my thumb through the air towards the tail of the plane yelling "GO!" Ira looked up, took a deep breath and in what seemed to be a millisecond, he let go, grabbed the rip-cord and basically tried to hand it to me… ALL BEFORE HE EVEN PASSED THE STEP! I had never seen ANYONE move that fast. Still in this weird slo-mo chain of events, my first thought was that the spring-loaded pilot chute was going to go over the tail and the pilot and I were going to have to bail. Lucky for us it didn't happen. Ira's chute opened exactly where in thought it was going to, he did his normal piloting and believe it or not, he ended up landing just outside the target circle in the deep grass out on the plains. Ira ended up making about 3 or 4 more jumps on a static-line after that one hop-n-pop. I never saw him again. To the best of my knowledge he and his wife ended up buying a pub in England and moving there to run it when he got out of the military. That event will be burned into my head as long as I live and I wouldn't trade it for the world. There is a moral to the story though… even when you are convinced that a student will do exactly the same thing, the same way every time… they won't. Student jumpers (AFF, IAD, SL or Tandem) never exactly do what you think they're going to do. I have said it for a very long time since I let my instructor rating lapse…"Students are like rabid badgers… why in the hell would I want to take one in a small confined space, strap it to my chest and then scare the hell out of it?" Let your mind take care of the visual there folks… enjoy! GraficOGraficO "A Mind is a terrible thing to taste." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #27 December 18, 2003 ROFLMAO!!!! oh man i needed that laugh! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kramer 0 #28 December 18, 2003 Quotehe let go, grabbed the rip-cord and basically tried to hand it to me… ALL BEFORE HE EVEN PASSED THE STEP! I had never seen ANYONE move that fast. I just want you to know that I was laughing hysterically for 4-5 seconds upon reading that. -Kramer The FAKE KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMER!!!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shawndiver 0 #29 December 18, 2003 Last student out of a 182 on S/L. After I got him out on the wheel, I told him GO! and he proceeded to jump off the wheel, but refused to let go of the strut!! After repeated attempts to get him to let go of the plane, and since I could not get him to get his feet back on the wheel, I finally had to climb out into the crotch of the strut, and proceed to play "0ne little piggy, two little piggys" prying his fingers off the strut to get him to go. I threw the bag back in the plane and followed him down where he landed without incident. He later told me that he WANTED to go, he just could'nt get his hands to obey! Shawn_________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GraficO 0 #30 December 18, 2003 If you're interested... I'll relay the story about "Grip"... he was another student that will remain burned into my skull... But only if ya ask nicely I should I wait a couple of days while the dust settles on the last story? GraficOGraficO "A Mind is a terrible thing to taste." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DanglesOZQld 0 #31 December 18, 2003 Trust me!!! We had a 4-5 foot tree in the middle of a HUGE open landing area and no points for guessing how many times that poor little thing got bashed into by people!! Murphy's law! -Mark. "A Scar is just a Tattoo with a story!!!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stumpy 256 #32 December 18, 2003 Target fixation - its an amazing thing!!!Never try to eat more than you can lift Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DanglesOZQld 0 #33 December 18, 2003 IT CERTAINLY IS!!! ..........Then there was the 10 way with all different experience levels I did at sunset one day with a shite spot and when I landed off in a field realised that everyone else had followed me!!! Needless to say that the field was covered in pine trees 5-6 foot high in rows and the ground was very uneven. It is something we all look back on and laugh about even today. I can still see myself on video yelling out "Pine trees!!!" "A Scar is just a Tattoo with a story!!!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stumpy 256 #34 December 18, 2003 I've done it before when I wrote off my first motorbike - 1 post on the outside of a corner and I'm thinking, mustn't hit the post, mustn't hit the post!!! .....if I'd looked where I wanted to go rather than where I didn't want to go I might have made it round!!! Slightly off topic, sorry!Never try to eat more than you can lift Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #35 December 18, 2003 ooooh do tell!!!!! please???? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaMan 0 #36 December 18, 2003 Quote...But only if ya ask nicely Yes, please!!! Great stories, BTWZ-Flock 8 Discotec Rodriguez Too bad weapons grade stupidity doesn't lead to sterility. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GraficO 0 #37 December 18, 2003 I will post the "Grip" story later this evening... gotta get some work done. In the meantime... you can read this for a laugh http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=795355#795355 GraficOGraficO "A Mind is a terrible thing to taste." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BlindBrick 0 #38 December 18, 2003 QuoteI finally had to climb out into the crotch of the strut, and proceed to play "0ne little piggy, two little piggys" prying his fingers off the strut to get him to go. No need to get risk yourself like that. Just have the pilot dip the wing on the student's side and then quickly back the other way, works every time. -Blind"If you end up in an alligator's jaws, naked, you probably did something to deserve it." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BlindBrick 0 #39 December 18, 2003 At my home DZ, we use Telesis rigs for both static line and student freefalls. Since we have far more "one timers" than progressing student jumpers, our default repack on the Telesis's is as a static line. We had a guy named Stan that was just off his student progression but still renting gear. One day he was in a hurry to catch a load, and just grabed a Telesis but didn't bother to do a gear check. On that day, the legend of "Static Line Stan" was born. That was actually my second save, but I relish it more than my first one. -Blind"If you end up in an alligator's jaws, naked, you probably did something to deserve it." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #40 December 18, 2003 I'm not familiar with the way static line works... more info?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phillbo 11 #41 December 18, 2003 QuoteLOL... I had a similar conversation with my JM when I did my first RW jump. I'd never done a floating exit before (AFF 5-8 were skyvan jumps) so Kai was teaching me how. He said something like "ok, now duck under the bar and stand with your body on the outside of the plane." I looked at him and, like a complete MORON asked "but what if I fall off?!" He laughed and said "well, you'll be dressed for the occasion, I'll jump after you, and we'll have a great skydive." me: "oh." Priceless Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dragon2 0 #42 December 18, 2003 QuoteI'm not familiar with the way static line works... more info?? Hint: there's nothing to pull at besides your cutaway and reserve handles! This is his our SL rigs work (there are slightly different systems): The SL is connected to the airplane on one side, and to both a flexible pin which goes thru the mainloop, and to the mainbag on the other. When you jump the SL gets taut and pulls out first the flexpin then the bag follows (stays connected to the SL so to the plane) and the canopy comes out. There is no way you can get your main out yourself if the SL isn't hooked up... ciel bleu, Saskia Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyDave 0 #43 December 18, 2003 QuoteSorry for the length... My Favorite Student Many years ago I was a static line instructor at a small dropzone in West Texas. One of my students etc etc etc etc etc !!!!! Blumin hilarious! i really hope i dont do that on my jumps! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #44 December 18, 2003 ah! that makes sense! thanks, Saskia. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kramer 0 #45 December 18, 2003 QuoteI'm not familiar with the way static line works... more info?? AFF Baby! -Kramer The FAKE KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMER!!!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
algboy 0 #46 December 19, 2003 "Students are like rabid badgers? why in the hell would I want to take one in a small confined space, strap it to my chest and then scare the hell out of it?" LMAO This is definately added to my favorite all-time quotes file!!!“Keep your elbow up!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shawndiver 0 #47 December 19, 2003 Yeah, but the look in his eyes from that position while prying his fingers off was worth every bit of it!! Shawn_________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BoostedXT 0 #48 December 19, 2003 Ok I have to say this because it has pissed me off since I saw the video....the Max X video where the guy pulled his cutaway handle....Scott Lutz is his name. He goes through and describes what "he" did and how the JM's just ditched him according to the narrator. If you watch the video no where in there does he look up and note the canopy coming out.....like he says he does. They say there is only 1000FT of space between him and the ground....from the time he is back in freefall to the time the reserve opens he would have been kaput a long time ago....I am sorry I am ranting....but JM's teach us students a lot, the patients they must have is amazing.....this guy makes a mistake, Jm's bail him out and save his life, then he takes all the credit....but wait he is not finished.....he lands in powerlines? I like the T.U.G. comment but being a golf pro .....can I say we dont want Scott Putz..opps I meant Lutz. Sorry that might sound mean...but he gave no credit to where credit was accually due. JoeFor long as you live and high you fly and smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry and all that you touch and all that you see is all your life will ever be. Pedro Offers you his Protection. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GraficO 0 #49 December 19, 2003 Ok... here we go... "GRIP" As fledgling jumpmasters, we were taught to be encouraging, supportive and informative… so when we had a student that needed help or was struggling to accomplish a certain task we all did whatever was necessary to help the student through it. Such was the scenario with a young airman named Steve. Steve was an "almost"… He was "almost" as good looking as a low-end Tom Cruise, "almost" as sharp a dresser as stand-in for Gary Cooper, drove a car that was "almost" a sports car and in the end Steve was "almost" a skydiver. It was obvious that when he walked onto the DZ he was there to prove something… mostly to prove something to himself. The way he carried himself, it was obvious that this guy was practically scared of his own skinny shadow and that if he drove the right car, and wore the same clothes as Tom Cruise in Top Gun and did all the cool things like "Mav" he might even be able to find himself a girl like Kelly McGillis. Therefore… he "almost" had a clue… Let's stop here and do a bit of background that will come into play later. Our little DZ in Eastern New Mexico was backed by two people, Glenn (a leather faced skydiving instructor from the mid-west with 6 old Wonderhogs and a student radio system) and Bill (he owned 4 newer student rigs, the airplane and was the pilot). Bill and Glenn would show up at the small airport and we all would get together and skydive on the weekends using their gear because at that time we were poor college students and we didn't have our own. The only way we were able to pay for our jumps was jump-mastering students and packing rigs. Bill was a retired Air Force type and resembled a version of Archie Bunker. The things that set Bill apart from Archie was that he was even tempered, very quiet, not so opinionated and had super thick glasses for a slight impairment to his vision that caused him to blink incessantly… hence we called him "Blinky". Other than those things… he looked just like Archie. Now back to our story… Steve showed up to the hangar we were using and slipped his Ray-Ban aviator shades down onto his nose as he rose out of his Saturn wearing a knockoff vintage bomber jacket and strolled over to us pretending to be cool and said "Hi, I'm Steve and I want to make one of those parachute jumps." It was a slow day and Glenn sat him down and started teaching him immediately. The rest of us, Gary, Holt and myself sat in and helped teach young Steve about making his "parachute jump". After 6 or so hours of classes, hanging harness training, PLFs in the weeds off the tailgate of Glenn's S-10 pickup… Steve was "ready". Now Steve's little frame was wearing a beat up old Pro-Tec, a military surplus olive green flightsuit and this HUGE rust and tan colored Wonderhog that seemed to swallow him, topped off with a pair of Kroops goggles. He looked like something right out of the Kevin Costner flick "Fandango"… he even had the "What the f&@# am I doing?!" displaced look on his face as he, Gary and 3 other students waddled over to the airplane. Gary decided that the best thing for this kid was to send him out first because he was the smallest, the most nervous and obviously by his gait to the airplane… the most uncomfortable one there. After a quick radio check, they loaded the 206 we had at the time with Blinky at the helm, 3 students in the back, Gary in the JM position and poor Steve in the "#1 slot". Holt was designated the radio guy and off they went down the runway. About 10 minutes later Blinky announced that they were 5 minutes out and as was relayed to me later Gary got Steve ready and hooked up his static-line. Gary spotted the plane over the big grassy landing field and called "DOOR!!!" Gary then proceeded to give his exit commands to Steve… "Put your feet out and stop!"… and Steve did it. Gary then barked "All the way out!" pointing towards the abyss that had have been closing around Steve like a vice. Steve sat there for a minute and then shook his head briskly "NUH UH"…"NUH UH"…"NUH UH". At this point Gary knew trying to get him any further out was going to be impossible. Steve was petrified. So Gary closed the door, told Blinky to make a long go-around and proceeded to figure out how to move Steve from the #1 position back to the back with a full load of students and get the next jumper into position to go. Anyone who has ever jumped a small Cessna knows that there isn't much room left for anything larger than a shoe horn. Gary eventually got everyone in the right place but said it was like those little picture puzzles with one square missing and you have to line them all up. The other 3 students all jumped successfully and Gary had to ride the plane down with Steve and Blinky… not something he liked to do. They taxied up to the hanger and without a word, Steve got out, dropped his gear and for all practical purposes sprinted toward his car and took off… embarrassed. STRIKE TWO The next weekend we were surprised to see Steve's Saturn pull up to the hangar. Blinky almost spit out his coffee. In that "I'm cool" strut of his he sundered up to the hangar pushed his Ray-Ban Aviators up onto his head and said "Ok… I'm ready to do it this time." Being the eager jumpmasters that we were, we gave him a slue of encouragement, went over the basic safety procedures, got him set up with all his gear, and he, 3 more students and Holt as jumpmaster headed for the plane. Thinking that he wouldn't do the same thing twice in a row Holt put him in #1 slot again and away they went. That was a mistake. To keep a long story short, Steve did exactly the same thing he did to Gary… froze in the door shaking his head like a wet dog mumbling the same "NUH UH" and everyone had to play puzzle again to get him to the back and another student up into #1 position. Needless to say Holt wasn't too crazy about riding the plane down with Steve… The big difference this time was that he didn't bolt to the car and take off. He was extremely apologetic and vowed he would make his "parachute jump" that day. Gary, Holt and I then decided that we would have to play cheerleaders in order to get him to go. The very next load was going to be Blinky, all the jumpmasters (Gary, Holt and I) and Steve and by George he was going to do it this time. BALL ONE We all packed up the rigs from the last jumps as Steve sat there with all of his gear on… his goggles fogged over with sweat. We donned our gear and shuffled Steve to the airplane. THIS TIME, we knew that the pressure of Gary being a senior Air Force Officer, Holt as his previous jumpmaster and myself was going to give Steve the balls to make that jump so we put him in the #1 slot again. We cruised up to altitude and Gary got Steve ready and hooked up a little early in case his climb out was slow. Little did we know what an entertaining treat from several different angles we were going to get. Gary called for the door and told Steve to "Put your feet out and stop!" … Steve hesitated a moment and did what he was told. Holt, Gary and I glanced at each other briefly and small grins began to dance across our faces. Gary then barked "All the way out!" and to all of our amazement he got up and started inching out across the jump step and out onto the wing strut. All this time, Blinky was staring straight ahead without a lick of emotion on his face. Gary moved up closer to the instrument panel so that Holt and I could poke our bright, smiling faces of encouragement out the door for Steve. By this point Steve was as far out as he could go on the strut and had one foot left on the step. Gingerly he let himself dangle as he took his foot off and looked back at us meatballs geeking him in the door. Gary then commanded with a triumphant grin and a thumb jab backwards… "GO!"… the rest was like something from a comedy… Steve then briskly started shaking his head and dabbing his foot to get back on the step. Fearing that it was waaay more dangerous to bring him back inside the plane Gary turned around to Blinky was still facing forward, blinking emotionless and said "Bill! Get rid of him!" The next thing I saw was Blinky, the mild, soft spoken pilot slowly turn his head to Gary as his face turned into the same face as the evil plotting Grinch. His eyes squinted together behind his thick glasses and the most snarled, evil grin sprang from Blinky's face. Steve is still dabbing his foot and Blinky faces forward in slo-mo and starts jamming the yoke of the airplane back and forth, up and down. Poor Steve is out on the strut flailing around like a rag doll and the 3 of us are grabbing for hand holds so we don't fall out of the plane. For what seemed like forever, Steve hung on for dear life. This guy had a death grip on that strut and it didn't seem like he was ever going to let go. Eventually gravity, a 30lb. rig and being bounced around like a ping-pong ball in a mason jar took its toll and Steve safely released and opened under a great big Manta. Glenn guided him to a flawless landing by radio as we climbed to full altitude for a little 3-way "Horny Gorilla" action. STRIKE THREE… YOU'RE OUT! When we landed, we were greeted by the most ecstatic individual that ever walked the earth. Steve was on Cloud 9. "I can't believe I did it!" he said gleaming with excitement. Steve continued… "That jump was almost perfect except for the part when I fell off the strut." Gary, Holt and I nearly died laughing… Steve had completely erased the whole flailing on the wing strut scene and actually believed it! He was so excited that he wanted to go back up immediately! So we thought… "OK… he's overcome his fear and he should be ready to go"… heh… yeah right. Same scenario, him, a jumpmaster and 3 other students with him in #1 slot… he got to the door and froze and Holt had to bring him down again. Like Strike One… he got into his car and bolted. We never saw Steve again. We think he was transferred to another Air Force Base somewhere. But the true ending to the story in that after Steve or "Grip", as we now called him amongst ourselves, left we happened to look at the wing strut where he had been hanging… literally he scraped the paint off of it with his fingernails as he left… WOW… what a "Grip". In all of my jumpmastering and instructing years, I have never since had a student who went up in the plane 4 times and only jumped once. Hope the story was worth it... GraficOGraficO "A Mind is a terrible thing to taste." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TribalTalon 0 #50 December 19, 2003 LOL!!!! that was great, man... your stories rock! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
