Is buying your child birth control supporting/encouraging sex?

[bigtexan 0]

This question reguarding birth control is not about supporting sex - it's about protecting your child, and more importantly, protecting a child from being born to incapable parents.

Children are a blessing or a curse - depends on the circumstances of the parents.

Sex is a wonderful thing and has been corrupted by relegious zelots for too long. Sexual maturity is reached by the body independantly of our cultural environment. Sexual maturity is the point in time that biology says that our bodies are redy for sex and/or child bearing.

Birth control is a tool we manufactured to assits our society with the complications of being a parent in todays complex environment where ones ability to economically support a child has been postponed to an age beyond the bodies biological age to create a child. Thus birth control is a tool to bring stability to our modern society by allowing individuals to postpone parenthood until their ability to economically support a child is developed enough that they do not need total support from others; instead, they can postpone safely parenthood until they can parent with confidence and provide a stable and healtly enviroment for a new individual thus increasing the odds that the child will have a fighting chance in todays society.

Birth control is a damn good thing. More people should wise up to the real world and not the ideal world they have in their mind/church/etc...

Sex needs to be accepted as something we all desire as our biological clock matures, and parenthood needs to be protected against in todays society until the ability to economically support the a child is reached.

Thus - birth control, in my opinion, is something a responsible parent would provide for their child to protect their child in a way that provides a better chance for their child to acheive economic independance in todays society before embarking on parenthood.

EDIT to address the topic:
Providing birthcontrol is different than encouraging sex. You should educate your children on sex, protect them from undesired parenthood by educating and or supplying birthcontrol - but you can supply birthcontrol and discourage sex at the same time.

[Icon134 0]

I don't think it's a parents responsibility to buy their children birth control. I do believe that responsible parents should educate their childern on birth control that is available including the effectiveness of different types of birth control to protect against things such as STDs (or the lack of protection as the case may be) but more so I'm wondering why this thread is already 50+ posts and is still in the bonfire... (and not SC...)

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[Shell666 0]

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I don't think it's a parents responsibility to buy their children birth control. I do believe that responsible parents should educate their childern on birth control that is available including the effectiveness of different types of birth control to protect against things such as STDs (or the lack of protection as the case may be) but more so I'm wondering why this thread is already 50+ posts and is still in the bonfire... (and not SC...)

Either they haven't noticed or they have and things have remained civil.

Either way, your comments are what a few people have said. Parents have a lot to say in how "kids" grow up.

'Shell

[livendive 8]

Yeah, the analogy was pretty much horrible for helping my position. I realized that soon after posting it, but Shell had already quoted me.

I still disagree with the premise that providing birth control encourages sex. If it did, then getting a vasectomy would make me more likely to have sex, and that's just not the case. With or without a vasectomy, I'm going to have sex, but with one I'm much less likely to suffer paternal consequences. Similarly children in their late teens are or are not going to have sex, and I don't think their decision hinges on whether or not the girl is on the pill. My daughter is only 19 years younger than me due to a lack of birth control. She abstained for a few years despite being on birth control. These are enough to convince me that, at least for my family, the decision to have sex while a teenager has been largely independent of the presence or lack of birth control.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[HeadCone 0]

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I still disagree with the premise that providing birth control encourages sex. If it did, then getting a vasectomy would make me more likely to have sex, and that's just not the case.

But now you're talking about the probability of having sex due to possessing birth control. As many a high school boy knows, merely having a condom in your wallet doesn't guarantee you're going to get laid.

Going back to the thread title. If we change the wording to "Is a doctor giving you a vesectomy supporting/encouraging you to have sex?". My answer: yes.

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With or without a vasectomy, I'm going to have sex, but with one I'm much less likely to suffer paternal consequences. Similarly children in their late teens are or are not going to have sex, and I don't think their decision hinges on whether or not the girl is on the pill. My daughter is only 19 years younger than me due to a lack of birth control. She abstained for a few years despite being on birth control. These are enough to convince me that, at least for my family, the decision to have sex while a teenager has been largely independent of the presence or lack of birth control.

Blues,
Dave

Does a kid in possession of birth control have more, less, or the same amount of sex as a kid without? That's a separate issue.

--Head

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[Squeak 17]

Some of you people have very simplistic outlooks on life

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[HeadCone 0]

Yup. The best way to discourage kids from having sex is to give them lots and lots of condoms (as long as it comes with an awefully damn good speech).

--Head

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[Squeak 17]

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Yup. The best way to discourage kids from having sex is to give them lots and lots of condoms (as long as it comes with an awefully damn good speech).

--Head

were talking about putting a girl on the pill not giving testoestrone drive teenage fucktards condoms,

Were also talking about the kids who are reasonable in both manner and intelect. there is a whole host of kids out there who will have sex very young with or without any sort of birthcontrol.
I teach quite a few of them. I dont think that this thread is actually directed towards those types types. because they dont give a flying rats arse whether or not they have your sanction, they're going to do it anyway.
However giving these girls the pill is not encouraging them either it's protecting them.

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[airtwardo 6]

You make some good points there Texan.

I believe it's a judgement call and there is no definitive answer to cover 'all' cases.

It's like asking the question:
Does mandatory use of AAD's support bad packing and low pulls.

For some it's a life saver, for some an unnoticed likely unneeded back up.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[Cajun 0]

It encourages sex the same way that seat belts and air bags encourage unsafe driving. Treat your children like adults if you want them to act like adults.

[SarahC07 0]

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I think goal of raising children is giving then the common sense and knowledge common sense ability to make decisions and think of the consequences on there own. Just saying no! Not giving the reason and denying the inevitable is just setting up for defiance and failure. Buying birth control just sets up a bad scenario and doesn’t really help in the communication and life consequences department.

This semi sums up how I feel about the issue. Somewhere during my high school years, my mom sat down with me and talked to me about sex. She also encouraged me to ask questions, etc. I was raised in an environment where it was clear to me I needed to make my own sound decisions. My parents made sure I had the information I needed to do so and encouraged positive decisions. Also, I asked my mom when she first had sex - and ladies and gentlemen it was her wedding night - and my parents have been married for 27 continuous years. Call me crazy, but I respected that. Did I choose to follow in her footsteps? No, but respect it? yes.

Also, during my high school years I was surrounded by people who (as I see this now) were raised with morals. All very very upstanding citizens. The "smart, overachievers" ... yeah, that was us. Having sex wasn't even really something I considered. I was too busy overachieving.

[bigtexan 0]

Here is a stupid idea -

How bout we give the boys some trick condoms - ones with say - 'icy hot' as the lub - both inside and out. Then - when they get up the nerve, find the oppertunity, they immediatly get a negative association with sex and maybe they will abstaine for a while. It'd be sorta like the pill that makes you sick if you use tobacco.

We as parents need to keep this a top secret tatic in our bag o tricks.

Then - we could probably find out what they were up to if they start to walk funny some day, like after a date or something..

Just my stupid idea for the day.

[NCclimber 0]

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were talking about putting a girl on the pill not giving testoestrone drive teenage fucktards condoms

Man issues, much?

[steveorino 7]

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Teen pregnancy wouldnt be an issue if adults actually did that nowadays. I dont blame kids for having kids. i blame the adults for not teaching higer morals and values.

My experience has shown me "morals are caught, not just taught" No wonder we have the problems we have. They are only doing what they see everyone else doing, including their parents.

steveOrino

[goodnplentygirl 0]

My mother and I had a great relationship growing up, and she always made me feel that I could come to her about anything, even sex. She taught me about pregnancy and STD's and how to be safe and use condoms and birth control pills. And when I was a teenager she told me that when I was ready to have sex I could tell her, and she would make sure I was on the pill and had condoms and everything.

Then a couple years later I got a boyfriend, and there was no way in hell I was going to tell her I was going to have sex with him. I just couldn't do it. So we finally did have sex, and used a condom, but I wasnt on the pill. And when my mom finally asked me if we had been having sex and I told her, she FREAKED OUT. I told her we use condoms and her reply was "That's all you're using???" So I suggested she take me to get on the pill. And she said, "there is no way in hell I am putting you on the pill and encouraging this kind of behavior" and I was like, what? you just complained that all we used were condoms, but yet you wont take me to get on the pill?? I am already having sex. How does that make sense? I was able to get on the pill with out her consent anyways, so it didnt matter, but it was really messed up.

I would definately rather take my daughter to get on the pill, than do what my mom did to me. Who knows what could have happened if I had not been such a responsible teenager and got the birth control myself, and had stuck to only using condoms.

my body, my choice

[misskriss 0]

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I would definately rather take my daughter to get on the pill, than do what my mom did to me. Who knows what could have happened if I had not been such a responsible teenager and got the birth control myself, and had stuck to only using condoms.

Agreed. Which is why I will get them on the pill if they ask me to.

[georgerussia 0]

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The best way to discourage kids from having sex is to give them lots and lots of condoms (as long as it comes with an awefully damn good speech).

Why should you discourage them from having sex?

* Don't pray for me if you wanna help - just send me a check. *

[Conundrum 1]

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The best way to discourage kids from having sex is to give them lots and lots of condoms (as long as it comes with an awefully damn good speech).

Why should you discourage them from having sex?

Oh I dunno, because babies shouldnt be having babies?

[georgerussia 0]

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Oh I dunno, because babies shouldnt be having babies?

So the only problem is possibility of unwanted pregnancy and obviously unwanted STDs? And if you were sure that they would only have safe sex, you wouldn't discourage them?

* Don't pray for me if you wanna help - just send me a check. *

[HeadCone 0]

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were talking about putting a girl on the pill not giving testoestrone drive teenage fucktards condoms,

Were also talking about the kids who are reasonable in both manner and intelect. there is a whole host of kids out there who will have sex very young with or without any sort of birthcontrol.
I teach quite a few of them. I dont think that this thread is actually directed towards those types types. because they dont give a flying rats arse whether or not they have your sanction, they're going to do it anyway.
However giving these girls the pill is not encouraging them either it's protecting them.

Yah, another analogy. A mother buys her son a CYPRES. She says, "I don't like you skydiving, but if you're going to do it anyway, I want you to use this." She wishes he didn't skydive at all, but realizes there's nothing she can do about it. So, she buys him protection. Here, she doesn't like it, doesn't condone it, but she *is* supporting his skydiving by giving him something to make it safer (please no AAD debate!).

Likewise when a parent gives their daughter the pill and some condoms, they may not like she's having (or might have) sex, they may not condone it, but they *are* supporting her ability to have (safe) sex.

If you don't call that supporting, then we're just nitpicking over the definition of the term.

And BTW, I haven't (or at least didn't intent to) express an opinion one way or the other about whether or not giving a kid birth control is a good thing. Me saying that "giving a kid birth control is supporting their sex life" isn't the same as blasting the decision to give a kid birth control.

--Head

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[pirana 0]

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It's like giving them to keys to the car and telling them not to drive while you're away on vacation.

I think the better choice of words is that you're "enabling" the child to feel more secure in their decision to be sexually active. I guess that counts as "supporting" it.

Except they don't need keys or anything like that to have sex. They are going to have it when they want to, whether they are supplied with BC or not. Parents really have very little control over when and with who their offspring go carnal. (Other than the values and priorities instilled, and that needs to happen way way way before they ever get to that decision point).

A better analogy to BC would be seat belts and airbags. Would you remove the seat belts and airbags in order to prevent them from driving? Especially knowing that if they want to drive, they are going to do it without the seat belts and airbags?

" . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

[Botellines 0]

Well, so maybe it encourages it a little bit, and maybe you daughter would end up getting laid 6 months or a year before than otherwise. However, i think it is an excellent trade off that she will be more protected at 13, 14 or 15 even if it means she will start sooner.

I think parents are in denial of the sexuality of their off spring. Better to assume that your 12 years old girl (or boy) is sleeping around than hope that she/he will remain virgin until the wedding. (If not better, at least safer)

[bigtexan 0]

just a general question...

take STD's and pregnancy out of the picture... what would be wrong with children having sex at 12, 13, 14...

I am not condoning this.. just wondering if those two problems with sex were removed, how would our attitude toward age and sex change..

just a random though.

[rehmwa 2]

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take STD's and pregnancy out of the picture...

Yeah, and take away immature emotional connections and all that away too while you are at it. Take away full grown adults (pediphiles) that think 12 is ok for sex too while you are at it.

cripes (I know you weren't condoning and jsut thinking out loud)

Take away the whole death and injury thing out it, and what would be wrong with just sticking knives in each other all day?


society needs consequences for stupid actions - take away the consequences you mention and society's attitudes would be more cavalier and it would lesson the importance of caring relationships and child bearing. The self indulgent wouldn't care though.

birth control is a good decision in many cases and has nothing to do with this point

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[georgerussia 0]

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take STD's and pregnancy out of the picture... what would be wrong with children having sex at 12, 13, 14...

In this case there is nothing wrong with this if we're talking about having sex by mutual consent between teenagers in the same age range. As I said before, a lot of people in my class started having sex at 12-14, and obviously nobody asked parents permission.

If we take away "family values", "high morals" and other nice meaningless words people like to say, probably the main reason to argue this point would be that "at age 12,13,14 the teenagers is not really responsible for their actions". However the responsibility level varies greatly between different people; some are responsible, and some are not. It is true that the chance for a 18yo being responsible are greater than for 14yo, however it is not a rule. I personally know several 20yo I'ld be scared to left at home alone for a week, and I know several 15yo who are very mature and responsible in their actions.

As a bigger picture, just few hundred years ago a lot of people were getting married at the age of 14 or even younger. My granma got married at 15. Age of consent in some countries (Mexico) is still 12-14, and it is possible to get married at age 14 even in a lot of countries under special circumstances (the pregnancy is usually one of them).

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