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skygeek

The Constitution of the United States 2.0

By skygeek, in Speakers Corner

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skygeek    0

skygeek
The Constitution of the United States 2.0


As there have lately been so many changes to the basic functioning of the United States -- a shift of powers here, a whittling away of rights there, it seems a good time to issue a revised version of the basic operating document. This is the real Republican Contract with America.

We the Republicans of the United States, in Order to prevent any challenge to our continued Supremacy, free ourselves from the Confines of Justice, placate the Tranquil masses, degrade the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of War Profiteering for ourselves and our Friends, do ordain and establish Constitution 2.0 for the United States of America.

ARTICLE I
Section 1
All legislative Powers are hereby ceded to the Executive branch, though the Congress will still make a Grand Noise and wave their arms as if they give a Damn.

Section 2
The House of Representatives will consist of those best able to Lick the Boots of the Lobbyists and Corporations lining their pockets.

No one can be a Representative unless Fox News says that he is a Patriotic American,

Representation shall be apportioned based on numbers of people willing to Pay for the Privilege. The actual Enumeration shall be made whenever it is of benefit to Republicans.

Representatives will choose a Speaker and other Officers by how willing these Officers are to turn a blind eye to the Crimes of Republicans and how Loudly they will Declare the Daily Talking Points.

Section 3
The Senate shall... oh hell, just see Section 1.

The Vice President shall be President of the Senate and can use any Four Letter Word he wants in talking to Senators, so F-You, Leahy.

Section 4
Elections will be held whenever Diebold is prepared to provide the Right Results.

Section 5
Each House shall make a mockery of policing itself and shall be free to throw out all the Democrats they want, but Republicans who engage in Pederasty shall be protected.

Section 6
Republican Senators and Representatives will enjoy a Revolving Door of organizations who pay for votes, and give them jobs any time they are taking a break.

Section 7
The House and Senate shall apply a large Rubber Stamp to every suggestion issued by the President.

Section 8
The House shall raise all the taxes they want on the poor and middle-class so long as they leave the Rich alone.

The Congress will dodge all responsibility for decisions on War.

Section 9
The rules of Immigration shall be set in a way that protects Republican majorities.

Section 10
Any treaties are not worth the paper they are Written on.

ARTICLE II
Section 1
The President can do anything he wants, that's what's good about being President. Heh heh.

Section 2
The President can wear any uniform he wants and pretend to fly planes.

Section 3
The President and the Congress should split some beers now and then, but he doesn't have to invite any Democrats.

Section 4
Having sex is a good Reason to get rid of a President. Lying, being Incompetent, Wasting Billions, and getting Thousands of Americans Killed, is fine.

ARTICLE III
This Article was full of that Judge stuff, so we just took it out.

ARTICLE IV
We can declare any place we want part of the United States so they can call their stuff "Made in the USA," but don't go thinking they get representation.

ARTICLE V
Amendments to the Constitution will only be for Really Important Stuff, like how scared we are of Homos and Foreign People.

ARTICLE VI
You can ignore any part of this Constitution if it gets in the way of Profit or something that gets Republicans elected.

ARTICLE VII
People are supposed to be afraid all the Time, otherwise they do too damn much Thinking.

posted from http://www.politicalcortex.com/story/2006/9/30/22613/4078


Welcome to the New World Order. Expect no Mercy.

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lawrocket    3

lawrocket
ARTICLE I
Section 1
All legislative Powers are hereby ceded to the Executive branch. Congress will have the sole duty of trying to get reelected.

Section 2
The House of Representatives will consist of those best able to Lick the Boots of the Lobbyists and Corporations lining their pockets.

No one can be a Representative unless they speak out against bootlicking, lobbyists and corporations.

Representation shall be apportioned based on race and class. The actual districts shall appease the ACLU.

Representatives will choose a Speaker and other Officers by how willing these Officers are to harass the minority party.

Section 3
The Senate shall... oh hell, just see Section 1.

The Vice President shall be President of the Senate and can shall have the authority to do shit that means absolutely nothing. The term "Vacationer" shall be used.

Section 4
Elections will be held whenever called for. However, bitching about the rules shall be considered patriotic. Furthermore, all people who are too stupid to operate a ballot machine shall be deemed to have voted for the Democratic slate. In the event of a genuine malfunction of a voting machine, Democrats shall receive votes of anyone registered in that district since 1787.

Section 5
All wealthy congresspersons (in the top 1% of the US population) who speak out against greed and who are in favor of taxing the rich, shall have all assets seized immediately. In fact, all Congresspersons who publically decry a certain activity or value, if found to have engaged in said activity or esposuing of that value, shall immediately be punished according to their public statements. Thus, Congress will consists of rich, eunuch Republicans, and dirt-poor Democrats. Green PArty members, who have clear cut spaces of forests for ther log cabins, shall have their cabins sold to a developer for the development of apartment complexes (which is what they REALLY hate - allowing the rabble to be near them)

Section 6
Republican Senators and Representatives will enjoy a Revolving Door of organizations who pay for votes and give them jobs any time they are taking a break. Democrats will to, and as a condition of membership in the Democratic party are required to do so, but Democrats shall have a monopoly on bitching about the other party doing it.

Section 7
The House and Senate shall apply a large Rubber Stamp to every suggestion issued by the President, Republican or Democrat. The minority party, resistant of this, shall be accused of playing partisan politics.

Section 8
The House shall raise all the taxes they want on the poor and middle-class so long as they leave the Rich alone. This is because Democratic Congresspersons, the wealthiest of the wealthy, shall not have taxes raised on them.

The Congress will dodge all responsibility for decisions on War and defer all blame to the President. After all, besides not approving a budget for it, what could they do???

Section 9
The rules of Immigration shall be set in a way that protects Republican majorities, even if that means that illegal aliens are considered to be "illegal aliens." Democrats, who will ensure that they are kept poor and unedictaed, shall bitch at the lack of suffrage given to immigrants. Poor and uneducated people vote Democrat, and it is unfair that Democrats are allowed to decide, er, that they are not allowed to decide to vote Democrat.

Section 10
Any treaties are not worth the paper they are Written on - even the ones we have with Austria-Hungary and other nation-states that no longer exist. Previously symbolic treaties, i.e., signed by a Vice President, and not ratified by the Senate (like Kyoto) shall be considered law.

ARTICLE II
Section 1
The President can do anything he wants, that's what's good about being President. Heh heh. He takes credit for all good, and shall get blamed for all bad, regardless of truth of the credit or blame.

Section 2
The President can wear any uniform he wants and pretend to fly planes. He may even wear nothing and come on interns (but no businessperson better do that!)

Section 3
The President and the Congress should split some beers now and then, but he doesn't have to invite any Democrats because they tend to drive afterward and kill people.

Section 4
Having sex is a good Reason to get rid of a President. Lying, being Incompetent, and Wasting Billions, is fine if you are a Democrat, but not if you a Republican.

ARTICLE III
This Article was full of that Judge stuff, so we just took it out. We want judges to "feel," not follow legal doctrine.

ARTICLE IV
We can declare any place we want part of the United States so they can call their stuff "Made in the USA," but don't go thinking they get representation. Nor will they get taxed. Save that for working Americans.

ARTICLE V
Amendments to the Constitution will only be for Really Important Stuff, like how scared we are of Homos and Foreign People. And we still don't have an Amendment for either.

ARTICLE VI
You can ignore any part of this Constitution if it gets in the way of Profit or something that gets Republicans elected. Or even, if it means people and states can control their own lives.

ARTICLE VII
People are supposed to be afraid all the Time, otherwise they do too damn much Thinking and postring stupid shit about changes to the Constitution.


My wife is hotter than your wife.

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livetofall    0

livetofall
i second that ovation. Thank you lawrocket.

Writing skydiver must not pay taxes and enjoy foodstamps, sucking me fucking dry for a jump. Dang, if all skydivers put into FICA, FIT and didnt have fun for a living. Hmmmm...I am getting a poll into mind.;)

this is one skydiver not using a broken femur for an SSI excuse. get to work...I will be in a month.
Some ammendents need to be replaced, the 14th primarily..damn i think every skydiver would be pissed if they reinstated prohibition. But yet all i hear is bitching about wiretaps....they are not going to mess with your weed..the just want the meth men..and a skydiver should be happy..nothing worse then getting your gear ripped off by some tweaker...but then again maybe you rather have a dirtybomb in your city.
www.911missinglinks.com the definitive truth of 9/11..the who and why, not how

You can handle the TRUTH www.theforbiddentruth.net

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Misternatural    0

Misternatural
These are both entertaining pieces, Though you have been publicly schooled by lawrocket in some way, remember that he is a self proclaimed libertarian and not a republican.

The Constitution is an amazingly effective document considering it's longevity. However the only way that it can sustain it's usefulness is through constant vigilance and action. It's not wize to subscribe to the rhetoric of any one particular political party for that reason. The U.S. govt. was forged to incorporate balance, That is the genius of it! The founding members realized that humans are easily caught up in their own agendas and belief systems which can snowball given the # of individuals that can be swayed one way or another. If a tipping point is reached a totalitarian regime is the result.

We all have a responsibility to maintain its balance. Why? because Freedom is at stake so if you like to do things like blather freely on the internet, pay attention.

For example, an interesting piece by Bill Moyers will air on Wed this week on PBS It may be dry and of a seemingly liberal nature and for those of us with A.D.D. it will be difficult to pay attention BUT the guy is onto something.
Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires.
D S #3.1415

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lawrocket    3

lawrocket
Quote

remember that he is a self proclaimed libertarian and not a republican.



I don't give a rat's ass who it is I'm pointing out as a hypocrite. It's why I pointed out the rich, eunuch Republicans and the dirt-poor Dems. I am neither shocked nor surprised that the guy who was found to have sent obscene e-=mails to minors s the same guy who sponsored a bill to increase pnealties to internet child predators.

When a politician speaks out against anything, I reckon it is because the politician is doing it. The politician knows how bad it is, and thinks that nobody should be doing it. In order to better shield themselves from scrutiny, they take a public stand against it.

Actually, the same is true when anyone is in the limelight. As an oversweeiping generalization, they are all the same.


My wife is hotter than your wife.

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idrankwhat    0

idrankwhat
Quote


The Constitution is an amazingly effective document considering it's longevity. However the only way that it can sustain it's usefulness is through constant vigilance and action.



You mean by pointing out legislative behavior like this?
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/09/29/AR2006092901055.html

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pirana    0

pirana
Quote

Quote

As an oversweeiping generalization, they are all the same.



:P



Repeat after me:

"You are all individuals."
" . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

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skygeek    0

skygeek
Quote

These are both entertaining pieces, Though you have been publicly schooled by lawrocket in some way, remember that he is a self proclaimed libertarian and not a republican.

The Constitution is an amazingly effective document considering it's longevity. However the only way that it can sustain it's usefulness is through constant vigilance and action. It's not wize to subscribe to the rhetoric of any one particular political party for that reason. The U.S. govt. was forged to incorporate balance, That is the genius of it! The founding members realized that humans are easily caught up in their own agendas and belief systems which can snowball given the # of individuals that can be swayed one way or another. If a tipping point is reached a totalitarian regime is the result.

We all have a responsibility to maintain its balance. Why? because Freedom is at stake so if you like to do things like blather freely on the internet, pay attention.

For example, an interesting piece by Bill Moyers will air on Wed this week on PBS It may be dry and of a seemingly liberal nature and for those of us with A.D.D. it will be difficult to pay attention BUT the guy is onto something.



Maybe my post was misunderstood. I in no way ment to slam one party anymore than the other, because IMHO it took both parties to get us here.

Furthermore I think Lawocket did a great job updating the post.


Welcome to the New World Order. Expect no Mercy.

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Amazon    7

Amazon
Quote

remember that he is a self proclaimed libertarian and not a republican



That seems to be an epidemic around here.

But there sure is a WHOLE lot of the Republican talking points and party line being spouted by all these supposed "Libertarians"

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lawrocket    3

lawrocket
Quote

Quote

remember that he is a self proclaimed libertarian and not a republican



That seems to be an epidemic around here.

But there sure is a WHOLE lot of the Republican talking points and party line being spouted by all these supposed "Libertarians"



Trust me, Jeanne, any correlation between my viewpoints and the Republican Party Line is purely coincidental. I happen to believe that the Republicans DO get certain things right. I also happen to believe that the Democrats DO get certain things right.

I also am of the opinion that Republicans get certain things wrong, and occasionally make themselves look like complete asses doing it. Especially GWB, i.e., his nomination of Harriet Miers to be on the SCOTUS. A spectacular failure. And need I remind you that plenty of the GOP leadership publically distanced themselves from it.

However, I think that Dems tend to make asses out of themselves in a far more spectacular manner, i.e., the Alito confirmation hearings. The Dems actually made it so that the Miers idiocy was greatly eclipsed by their own idiocy and incompetence. It's a problem when every damned judge who testifies tells them that their full of shit.

The problem, Jeanne, in terms of not getting ahead in issues, is that rather than discussing so much of the substance (where Dems would probably win most of the time) the Dems tend to view Bush as an "idiot," etc. It's the grandstanding and puffery of it.

It's also interesting to note that Dennis Hastert is speaking out about it publically about how bad and horrible it is and askign for an investigation. Of course, this probably means that he knew about it before, but in an effort to deflect is making the strongest efforts possible. Foley is certainly a hypocrite. Hastert probably is, too. It is now to his advantage to make public statements about what happened.

Of course, the Dems are outraged in a most hypocritical way, as well. It's not like Foley got a blowjob from a Congressional page (which probably would have been okay - forget about whatever federal laws were violated in doing it, a la Clinton.) I don't know why the Dems are so taking issue with this - nobody has even suggested that Foley ever acted inappropriately in the presence of minors - just racy e-mails.

Why are the same Dems that defended Clinton not arguing that what happened was a private event? Is it because the page was a minor? Yeah, in my opinion that makes it worse, but didn't we hear a few years ago that private sexual decisions have no impact on a politician's ability to do his job?

Perhaps I can be accused of toeing the Democratic Party Line when I say that Foley should face severe consequences. If it turns out that the Republican caucus knew about it and covered it up, I am nothing more than a Dem mouthpiece for suggesting they should go down with Foley. Right?

See, my problem is that it looks like Foley violated federal laws. Even worse, he authored the laws he broke. Like Clinton, who violated federal laws and signed in tighter restrictions on sexual harassment in the workplace that he would go on to violate.

There's enough hypocrisy to go around on both sides. Perhaps you forget how my problems with Clinton were not with a blowjob, but with the players involved with it - powerful politician and underling who was given access that others did not get - which is a violation of the law.

So, had Foley's e-mails been sent only to adults, would Dems be screaming? Had Foley gotten a blowjob from a page, would Dems be screaming? Are Dems screaming about this coming out in an unfair investigation? Are they screaing about the FBI looking into it on a basis of seprataion of powers?

The only differences between Clinton and Foley are that Foley targeted someone underaged (admittedly a BIG difference) and that Foley only e-mailed while Clinton engaged in physical sexual conduct (admittedly, another BIG difference). Oh, and that Foley's conduct was directed at a boy. I must mean dems are homophobes, i.e., what was said about Republicans questioning Barney Frank.

Pass the Tylenol, Jeanne.


My wife is hotter than your wife.

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Misternatural    0

Misternatural
I have to remind myself that forums are not a good communication tool because of the lack of inflection.
Anyway, to clarify, I was actually not criticizing either of you but trying to focus on content rather than personalities. My point was that neither party in this two party system should hold sway over the tenets of the constitution.
I think we can all agree on the fact that nobody here really wants a totalitarian Govt. and that we are all tired of this; "ooh the dems said this and the pubes did that" horseshit. granted I do it too and finger pointing has always been a function of politics- but we look like a bag of twitching assholes world wide.

So what are some solutions? I bet with the mind power here we can easily come up with some answers.

Would it be possible to incorporate multiple parties in this system thus reducing the gridlock in washington? would that be possible with our current election format? would campaign financing have to be drastically reconfigured to add more parties? Is there even enough political will for people to give a damn?

I am no poli sci major so I can't understand why in crap the U.S. effectively has only dims and pubes to choose from.

"parenting is much to important a job to leave up to parents"
Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires.
D S #3.1415

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lawrocket    3

lawrocket
Quote

Would it be possible to incorporate multiple parties in this system thus reducing the gridlock in washington?



Some people, like me, believe that gridlock is one of the only solutions to governmental nightmares. The government ain't in the business of increasing freedoms. By definition, laws abridge freedom.

Maybe a few years of a "do nothing Congress" would result in things like balanced budgets.


My wife is hotter than your wife.

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Misternatural    0

Misternatural
Quote

By definition, laws abridge freedom.



True, but some laws if passed can allow new freedoms like arresting people without due process and and torturing detainees, in which case some gridlock is a good thing, it prevents laws from getting passed like shit through a goose. so I see your point.

I am puzzled by the process of compiling volumes of multiple loosely related laws for a single vote, why is this done ? Does congress not have the time to vote on each piece of legislation separately? Because it seem to me that that is how some of the more sinister legislation(in my opinion) gets passed, as in the example given earlier by Idrankwhat.

Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires.
D S #3.1415

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