Thoughts about jumping!!

[freaksister 0]

Hi everyone,
Not trying to get mushy here, ok, but I need a minute.
I haven't posted much lately because I was very sick last week, and then the whole terrorism thing sort of took my "breath away."
I need to verbalize my thoughts and share them with people who understand what its like to be a skydiver, so here goes.
Everyone here can probably attest to the feeling of being "addicted" to skydiving. All you think about all day, dream about, etc. But most of you seem to carry on normal lives. I am having trouble with this. For a year, I've been addicted to jumping, but for a long time the nerves/fear/whatever you call it kept me from really going up in the air a lot and seeing what I was capable of. I recently have been learning to sit fly, which is more fun than I ever thought humanly possible, even in the air, and I have also even been working on my RW (don't scoff! I want to practice BOTH disciplines). My goal as a skydiver is to be a fun jumper, but jump as much as I can. I don't want to become bogged down in competition/team dynamics, etc. But I DO want to improve my skills always. My problem is that now that I am getting better, and my landings are getting better (YAY!!) I see my potential and all I want to do is tap that.
My whole life I have been intellectually above average (I guess) and a straight-A student, etc. School was where I spent my time. Of course, we know I am a straight-A party queen too, but that came later in life! hehe
I find myself lacking interest in school or work of any kind, and only wanting to move closer to a dropzone or even TO the dz. I question myself, saying, well, when this semester is over, move to Dallas where the DZ is only an hour away instead of 6 or 7, and then see how you feel. But I've been rationalizing for a year and can't overcome it. It is only getting worse!
Not only that...but now this war thing. Are we really going to quote-un-quote- WAR? Bush keeps talking about it, etc. which is okay I guess, I am not a pacifist, but I'm not pissing in my panties with excitement over killing people either. Its not the "bad guys" I'm worried about, its the civilians, etc.
in other countries...and ours too. I will admit (and this is hard, OK) that (selfishly) I am afraid of what will happen to everyday America...our lives...grocery shopping, surfing the web, SKYDIVING...will all this come to an end and leave us scrounging for bread like so many of the less fortunate in this world? Should I even worry about whether to Cutaway and become a manifest chick or packer or something when I may not even be able to skydive six months or a year from now????
Sorry this post was so long, but you guys know I don't usually get serious. (No, I'm not on my period!! LOL) I just need to express myself. I feel stuck between a rock and hard place. I would give up college, my home, my dogs even, my possessions, to live skydiving. How does one either DO THAT, or LIVE NOT doing that???
Sis
I lust for the ultimate rush...

[billvon 2,450]

>Are we really going to quote-un-quote- WAR?
I'm afraid we will. There is tremendous public desire to do something, even if it's the wrong thing. If handled wrong, this could become our generation's Vietnam, but this time involving the entire Middle East. I hope we don't repeat the last generation's mistakes.
>I would give up college, my home, my dogs even, my possessions, to live
>skydiving. How does one either DO THAT, or LIVE NOT doing that???
Well, this may not help, but I felt the same way for six years. Fortunately, I had a job during that time that allowed me time to jump, and I lived in a place (San Diego)where I could jump all the time. I'd be at the DZ at least 24 hours a weekend, often Friday as well. From 1992-1999 I thought of little besides jumping. I lost a lot of non-skydiving friends - I just had no time for them.
Lately I've mellowed a little. If someone proposes a hike on Saturday, I can go without feeling like I'm missing something at the DZ. I can sleep in on Sunday without feeling guilty. If Buzz asks me to do a tandem, I don't feel bad turning him down. There are still things I love doing - I seldom miss Kate Cooper's big ways - but I've become a lot more balanced, I think.
I don't know if there's a quick way to force this to happen. It took me six years and 2500 jumps. Maybe the best solution is to take a year off from school and live at the DZ - perhaps if I did that I could have gotten over that phase in a year instead of six.
-bill von

[PLFKING 3]

Hey Sis --
Glad you're feelin' better...
Bill makes a great point. Hell, you're only 24....what's keeping you from taking a year or two off, and living the way you want to, and doing what you want ? When you hit middle age, you probably won't have that option (career, house payments, numerous obligations to a lot of different friends/family/organizations, etc...) (God, it's so true....youth IS wasted on the young !)
Had I started jumping in my 20s, I would've been a DZ rat (if there was such a thing.......). Enjoy life ...enjoy yourself.
What are you doing right now that you can't do 2 years from now ?
Don

[Aviatrr 0]

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Should I even worry about whether to Cutaway

AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
Sorry, flashback to a horrible time.......that lasted a couple hours......and to make it worse, it had one of those Baldwin guys...
Mike

[FreeflyPlaymate 0]

oh, ouch, tea is too hot!! lol k sorry bout that. Ok, wow lol I am fine, really. To your thinking outloud conversation...I understand it is not a question in which I have the answers. However I'm about ready to sound like an old lady...and I'm assuming we are around the same age sis, I'm 22...not sure about you, you look young though. Yes we as young jumpers AND being young female jumpers, have alot of oppurtunities, one can look at how much more time we may have skydiving since we started young...although I believe everyone in skydiving isn't mentally over 12, lol myself included. I took a semester off and devoted it purely to jumping, every weekday...I like the mellow crowds, that and the plane was steadily going up so it wasn't bad. I only took reading materials and read all of these spiritual, get to know yourself books, there's nothing more relaxing that reading and hearing planes go up and canopies open. I loved it, although I've always loved the dropzone, I was brought up around jumpers so to me it has always been home. So I decide to go to my very first boogie...and first time getting on a plane, and going halfway around the world to a different country as well. For me, very very huge steps...I solo decided to go on a trip, I decided to go to the Malindi boogie in Kenya. Totally awesome, and so spiritual and gosh it was so beautiful there. We climbed Mt Kilimanjaro and I got to see the sun rise through clouds and it was just truly amazing, beach landings, everything! Where am I going with this hmmm I ramble so sometimes I don't even know, but bare with me.
There is not one jump where I don't have this incredably huge cheesey smile on my face, and am realizing that it will more than likely always be like that, it never dulls, or hasn't yet for me. I've thought the very same, life wouldn't be so bad waking up to this, the sound of planes, being at the dropzone. But that's the dreamer inside of me as well, the chances of actually having Christmas everyday, to me seems so awesome, but I know in my heart since I'm human I will take it for granted. And I do not ever want that feeling. As much asI may sound like your mother, before you choose to switch gears, think about it in the long term picture. What happens if you get burned out on it, and I know it's ahrd to imagine but it does happen, or the inevitable comes up, life, tragedy...in a world where we are making it more kaotic, I know our reaction is to go where it is seemingly peaceful, to our Graceland (thats for you Elvis!) our dropzone, to be back in that sky. I'm not saying don't go for it..do it take time off, I will never ever regret taking time off to jump everyday, the best time, it was truly a blessing. Just stay in school, work the back up plan, what if heaven forbid you lost your vision? Or some other "what if". Sometimes we fixate on things...and say I love it, I love it, and then everything around, everything else gets smaller...and "unimportant" as we think. But when we put that much faith in things, on one thing, when it goes wrong, we aren't grounded.
I landed crosswind a few weeks back on my new rig, pissed me off lol, and I was asked well what happened...I was like duh!!! Hi didn't you see my dumbass I kept looking at the flag saying don't land crosswind! don't land crosswind! (we had had a crosswind incident the previous day) and so what did I do, fixate on that flag, and so as long as it was in my vision, I landed crosswind.
Ok stop the rambling...GAG me!!! lol cuff me! lol just kidding sorry there! Anyways...basically what I'm saying is it's like a jock going to play pro ball without something to fall back on, what if ya got hurt? I know full handedly that I learned more going to Africa then my friends did reading about it, but there is alot we can learn from college. And even if you got a basket weaving degree, it means one thing, that you can be taught, and you can take that anywhere and say hey look teach me and I will learn. I know you can use skydiving int he same analogy and I would agree, but not everyone sees it the same. Just try not to fixate, because sometimes when we do that, we don't see all the other doors of oppurtunity...only the one, and if it closed, you would feel liek you have nothing, and I wouldn't ever want anyone to remotely have that feeling, ever....
I used to say I didn't like vegetables....funny thing is I never tried them before, turns out they're good for me too. If only one thing in life makes you happy, then are you really happy afterall?
**BLUE ONES**
BITE ME.... :P

[skyhawk 2]

you should come to australia im serious the weathers good and it is alot like american culture. at my dz we have quite a few ppl from overseas living on dz plus our dollar is shit i say go on a skydiving holiday to somewhere else wether it be overseas or to somewhere like canada or mexico (i know they are technivly overseas) i know how you feel because i am still a student i have experience life of living on a dz for weeks on time and i loved the lifestlye unfortanatly i keep having to go back. i have not been able to jump since The start of July im about to explode because there was no physical reason i couldnt jump , i couldnt do it cause of school and work so either way take a break mayby try dz life see how you like it and cool out

[Viking 0]

Quote

Everyone here can probably attest to the feeling of being "addicted" to skydiving.

i don't know what your talking about sis i don't have a problem at all!!! i am not addicted i am not addicted i am not addicted................ahhhh hell yes i am i went down to my dz (120 mile drive round trip) just on the slim chance that i would be able to jump. I didn't call ahead. I get there and the parking lot is empty! but i hang around and talk cameras and stuff with one of my JM's then left.
oh and sis jesus girl 7 hours?? you need to move pronto!!!
I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver

[FallnAngel 0]

Hi, Sis! Glad you are feeling better now! I started jumping last year, too, at age 37...at this point in my life (with a hubby, a mortgage, car pymts, & a mother-in-law to support) I look at the dz as my playground, it's all fun...I don't even think about the stresses of work or home or anything, and that's great, it's just what I want from the sport! I think that if I were to try to do something skydiving related for a living, then the dz becomes my workplace as well as my playground, and for me at least, I don't want the 2 to be inter-twined.
But we're all different,and we want different things, so in part I think it comes down to this - if you don't do this now, in 5 or 10 years will you be sitting around wishing that you had? Very few of us stay with the same career our entire working lives...so do you really lose anything be giving it a try? You can always go back to something else in the future.
Blue skies!
Karen

[FallnAngel 0]

Hi, Sis! Glad you are feeling better now! I started jumping last year, too, at age 37...at this point in my life (with a hubby, a mortgage, car pymts, & a mother-in-law to support) I look at the dz as my playground, it's all fun...I don't even think about the stresses of work or home or anything, and that's great, it's just what I want from the sport! I think that if I were to try to do something skydiving related for a living, then the dz becomes my workplace as well as my playground, and for me at least, I don't want the 2 to be inter-twined.
But we're all different,and we want different things, so in part I think it comes down to this - if you don't do this now, in 5 or 10 years will you be sitting around wishing that you had? Very few of us stay with the same career our entire working lives...so do you really lose anything be giving it a try? You can always go back to something else in the future.
Blue skies!
Karen

[Aviatrr 0]

Quote

i don't know what your talking about sis i don't have a problem at all!!! i am not addicted i am not addicted i am not addicted................ahhhh hell yes i am

DON'T ADMIT IT! Admitting your addiction is the first of the 12 steps! Do you know what happens at the end of those 12 steps?! DON'T TAKE THE FIRST STEP!
Mike

[SkymonkeyONE 3]

I say go for it. I have been wanting to "full time" it for most of my life, but just didn't want to blow off a good pension for it. In my line of work you throw too much away if you walk away for too long, so it was better for me to just hold off for a bit. What that means, though, is that I won't have too many useful years left on the DZ to live that idyllic. Certainly not more than 15 anyway without pushing the bounds of common sense.
What you must do, April, is decide HOW you want to spend your time on the DZ. I would probably not give everything up just to be a pack bitch or a manifestor. That is entirely different than making a living actually skydiving. As a full-time packer you will have to really work in order to be able to do much skydiving. Most that I know rarely get to make more than about two jumps a day on the weekends. Same goes for manifestors, at least at every DZ I have ever been too; they are too busy to jump. If that suffices, then good for you, but I am going to make my money in the air where I belong. It is much more feasible to make a living on the DZ when you have multiple ratings. True, you can get all those ratings on the DZ, but not without putting out the cash (for the jumps for Instructor, Coach, or Tandem, plus course fees), or time (for a riggers ticket, plus minimum time in sport to get enough freefall time). I know plenty of people that make a living "skydiving", but very few who subsist above the poverty level just by packing or manifesting. This, assuming they are not drawing a pension or disability from another source.
Skydiving is not rocket science. You absolutely do not have to have a degree in order to make it on the DZ. Now, some business and economics classes would help you if you are to be running a manifest or working at a gear shop, but OJT suffices in most every case I have ever seen. You are not going to get paid a penny more to pack somebody's main just because you have an MBA. Also, there is no reason you cannot finish your schooling at night should you choose, and there is certainly no statute of limitations on when you "must" return to school. Actually, in my experience, it is much easier to get back into school when you are "grown." It is also much easier to get financial aid and grants when you are grown. I don't think I have over $500 (out of pocket) in my entire college education (three years at Methodist College; still no degree).
The bottom line is that I love the DZ and I love skydiving. My wife and I keep our RV at the DZ and spend the great majority of our free time out there. We have both been skydiving our entire adult life. I will be retiring within the year and will then be spending my days out there too. I am going to rig; do tandems, SL, and AFF; cut the grass; and if need be, scrub the toilets. I am CERTAINLY not going to get another "real" job after having spent 20 years in the Army! I don't need to make much money because of my pension, so that means I will be doing more jumping and less nug work than most other DZ bums. I won't have any problem making up the $25k I am going to lose (1/2 my current pay) when I retire. I am not sure, though, that I would be happy on just what one could make as a packer or manifestor; minus the pension.
As for basing your decision to do it on current world events, I can't really see how it applies to you. Skydiving will continue to exist in the same capacity as it ever did and there will always be fulltime DZ jobs for people willing to live that life. You have to live your own life. Now if you are talking about getting into the fray, that's entirely different. The CIA (as well as all other major federal agencies) is always looking for recruits. Minimum education is a BS for operational agents, though there are some analyst positions available for people with lesser degrees (in case you were wondering.)
Chuck

[bill2 0]

Hi Sis, I say go for it, quit school and move to a drop zone. You can always go back to school later. I had a year of college after high school and quit to join the Army and then spent some time just bumming around. When I came back 5 years later I appreciated college much more. Also, I read in some magazine awhile ago of a survey of men in their 60's and what they regretted the most in their life. The vast majority regretted more what they had not done than what they had done and screwed up. So go ahead and move to the dropzone and jump like crazy.

[freaksister 0]

You guys rock! Thanks especially, Chuck and Playmate.
Here's the thing...I took off a couple of semesters because I was burned out but I didn't move to the dz, or spend all my time there, as it was too damn far away. I am enrolled again this semester and I think I will finish it. I have like, 30 or 40 hours left to graduate.
I think that I will start looking at schools in the Dallas area and see where my credits will transfer to. Then plan on either the end of this semester or the spring semester, to move and get settled less than a hour from the dz. I think I'll sort of feel it out. I agree with Chuck that I do not want to try to eek out a living as a manifest chick or pack ho. Ick. What I would really LOVE is to shoot video. I sound like about 5000 other jumpers, but I really would. I know I would be good at editing for content and putting soundtracks with it too. Already tried it. So...the first order of business would be to become a better *flyer* and then get some other ratings too, AFF, Tandem...who knows...a variety would be good. So...if I hold onto my panties long enough I can make it happen. But I would rather do it that way than just throw away everything and move to the dz right this minute. I wouldn't make any money. Soo....move as soon as I *logically* can...and go from there. Thanks ya'll...I'll keep you posted...temporarily, at least, I'm stuck...but I'll be straining against my bonds sure enough...
Sis
I lust for the ultimate rush...

[flyinryan 0]

My two cents
It's funny that you should articulate this idea of not wanting to do anything other than skydiving and watching the rest of your life fade in importance. I started AFF last year but didn't finish it until this summer because school was the priority. Right now I kind of regret that. I am in my last year of school this year and keep telling myself that if I get that engineering degree maybe someday I can help design or test new canopies. BUT at the same time I have learned from my mistakes. This year I have vowed to always make time for jumping even if it is just two or four jumps a week (if the FAA allows me to that is). If that means getting B's instead of A's so what? Life is about living, right? The only A that matters right now is the A in front of the 39028 on my liscense card :) . But again that is just my opinion, I could be wrong.

[Viking 0]

Quote

DON'T ADMIT IT! Admitting your addiction is the first of the 12 steps! Do you know what happens at the end of those 12 steps?! DON'T TAKE THE FIRST STEP!

LOL
damnit i need a hit(jump) before the second step hits!!!!I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver

[lippy 782]

I totally know what you're talking about when you say:
But I've been rationalizing for a year and can't overcome it. It is only getting worse!
I was thinking the same thing right after I graduated college last June, and the DZO was looking for a packer, only for a couple of weeks. 'Should I take the job and put offf my serious job search, or just wait and live at the DZ some other time?' I took the job, and the DZ quickly turned from the weekend playground I'd known it as to a job. A mere 10 jumps in a span of 3 weeks.
If you want to move to the DZ to work, realize that it's probably going to be work, but hell, could you ask for a better office?
"Seek ye first the pilot chute, and good things shall come frome there"

[freaksister 0]

lol o 10 jumps in 3 weeks would be a record for me! hahahaha
if I lived at the DZ I'm sure I would jump more, even if I did work there...
Sis
I lust for the ultimate rush...

[airann 1]

....... I recently have been learning to sit fly, which is more fun than I ever thought humanly possible.......
Yikes! Head towards AirAnn!! I will film you and we go from there!!. Your sit in vRW is the same as your stable belly in RW. I spent a ton of time on my sit and stand. Then, I was asked on big ways, and I've been on them ever since, till I broke stuff in my leg.
{I have 2 cameras and 2 camera helments.} Not yet Sister!!
My 100th was an Eleven Way Sit -a campfire we call them- around AirAnn. One of the best skydives ever- Sunset load. I dont think I came down for days. The only girl, of course.
If you want some coaching I will happily do that for any novice skydiver. That is what I am all about anyway. The new website will have info related to "frequently asked questions" that nobody will ask anybody else but me. I am ultra non-threatening like that. Besides, I had nobody to ask stupid questions to. -Except Ramone & Levin, the Sky Gods. Levin lived here all summer. I was forced to watch his videos every evening. {LOL} Eh, I accidently watched them. That dude is way hot in the Air. See the little picture of me, well.. that is Levin behind me headdown. Same thing with Ramon, Trey and Wayne. My bestest buddies in the whole wild world.
Now, about that school thing... My best friend moved up by Dallas and is completing his degree. It is a good thing to have. When I look back now, I have 3/4 of a degree, I wish I would have just freaking finished. Classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays.... er something.
Skydive all you want when you have the money.
Skydiving is way more fun when you dont have to worry about stuff. Later on in life trust funds run out, parents cut you off and you become an age by where you are suposed to be taking care of yourself and your own affairs. This is a good thing. (I guess...-NOT) But most people are not as fortunate.
I do love my house, and I did invest properly and then snagged it, everything in life takes its own time. One thing- skydiving will be there for you. But, I like it as MY -thing that I do-, not my job. Yeah, I have to work and then clean a freakin pool and mow the yard. But it is an accomplishment, just something for me. With 3/4 of a degree, I do ok. But it could be better. I could be ordering a new canopy, scheduling some events in other states. Getting bad ass coaching from some really big time guys for myself, that would be awesome. My Ariel Education is far from over.
Flea Flyer has yet to jump. I broke stuff in my leg, you remember, so his Ariel Education came to a grinding halt, as well as mine. You never stop learning in this sport. I have yet to have the same jump twice.
Changing a bunch of stuff may not make you happy. I found out that my happiness was right in front of me the whole time, after I searched years for it. Being myself and not trying on others lifestyles worked for ME. However, I tried to be like everyone else I could not pull it off. I do wish I could have a skydiving career. However, I think that a philantripist (spelling??) kinda deal is for me. I just get a hugeorama kick outta helping other people. It has always been that way. So why fight it. I am devoting my web site to that. Not just pictures of me and my friends. But those will still be there--- Cuz I love my friends.
All I have to say about that school thing is... I will help you all you want in what you dial in on regarding your thought process, at the moment. But this is a road only you can go down. This is not up for voting in DropZone.com. Its all you Babe. But, I can tell you from personal experience, trust funds and my Daddy's wallet can get all messed up later on, especially when a stepmother shows up. And packing can screw up a manicure in a second. LOL Shooting video is great, but better if the pressure is off. I know a guy who started shooting video and forgot to turn on his camera on ONE tandem. His life was beyond repair for a week. It took me all weekend to get a half ass smile from my buddy. He took it hard. Now, he shoots whatever - whenever. Awesome dude, really awesome guy. I call him "Take my Picture". His smile is fantastic, lights up the whole hangar.
Nothing worth having is really easy.
My friend says on the days that you make the most money at a DZ... are the days in which you want to jump the most and can not -because you are working.
Be totally grateful for whatcha got and add spice in here and there, but get your degree.
I will support what you decide. Go Girl!! But be smart like you already are.
Skydive~Friends~Happiness
AirAnn
www.AirAnn.com

[LittleJumper 0]

Sis: I agree with FallenAngel. I just started skydiving myself at 41. Just never thought of the sport until now, and it truly is addicting!! However, and don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to preach, but I say to you as I impress upon my daughter who is now 20, don't wait too long to go back to school. I waited too long myself to go to lawschool...missed out on a lot of fun times in my late 20's & early 30's, but now I'm catching up, at least I'd like to think so!!.
Anway, do what's best for you and what you feel. But don't get too caught up in the whole thing and forget about school too. Why not do both part time!!?
Best of luck to you Sis!
Terri