HEEEEELP! I'm turning into my parents!!!

[ECVZZ 0]

Holy Shit !!! The curse is true, (AAAHHHHHHH!!!!) I had an asshole just like I was at 14! What the fuck is this about ??? He's to goddamn old to drown, people would ask questions (although the only people who would care are my mom and Dad)!
How do you handle your child ( keeping in mind that I'm a 39 yr. old single father of a 14 yr. old son) ? I can only beat him so many hours out of the day, he wears me down.
Betsy, your expertise now could mean the difference between life with parole and the chair. Any tips ??? ANYBODY???
I can't jump in prison. HEEEEEEELLLLPPP!!!!!
G. Jones
"Why don't they have a light bulb that only shines on things that are worth looking at?"

[Jumperpaula 0]

Quote

How do you handle your child ( keeping in mind that I'm a 39 yr. old single father of a 14 yr. old son) ? I can only beat him so many hours out of the day, he wears me down.

When you find the secrete, please pass it on. My 14 year-old son doesn't BELIEVE ME either.
Fly Your Slot !

[lummy 4]

Use Bigger and HARDER beating utensils... and when he gets to be too fast and can outrun you, break his knee caps while he's sleeping.
I'm Dreading the day MINE comes home with his first NOSE piercing. The youngest will probably be pregnant at 14 and I will never be able to figure out how she sneaked out of the closet I locked her in
Conjunction Junction, what's your function?

[skybytch 259]

If only I had the answer to that question... I'd write a book and make millions of dollars.
All I can say is... it'll get better. He'll turn 18 someday...
pull & flare,
lisa
[subliminal msg]My website Go Now[/subliminal msg]

[lummy 4]

Quote

All I can say is... it'll get better. He'll turn 18 someday...

Don't BELIEVE HER!! SHE'S LYING!! They will NEVER LEAVE, DID YOU HEAR ME????They will get fired from Mikkie D's and sit home watching Rikki Lake (has she gotten FAT or what?) and drink all your BEER!!!
Kick them out now while you still have a chance!!!!
Conjunction Junction, what's your function?

[skybytch 259]

Quote

They will NEVER LEAVE, DID YOU HEAR ME????

Heh. But what's to stop ME from leaving?
pull & flare,
lisa
[subliminal msg]My website Go Now[/subliminal msg]

[lummy 4]

Oh yeah.. forgot about that ;)
Conjunction Junction, what's your function?

[AggieDave 6]

Hey, there are ways to keep you from leaving! *evil laugh*BWWWWAAAHHHAHAHAHAHA

A human cannonball, I rise above it all
Up higher then a trapeze, I can fly

[Lindsey 0]

THE CAT YEARS by Adair Lara
I just realized that while children are dogs--loyal and affectionate--teenagers are cats. It's so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting. It bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.
Then, around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a big old cat. When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of dogging your footsteps, it disappears. You won't see it again until it gets hungry--then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen long enough to turn its nose up at whatever you're serving. When you reach out to ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you, then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember where it has seen you before.
You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desperately wrong with it. It seems so antisocial, so distant, sort of depressed. It won't go on family outings.
Since you're the one who raised it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you assume that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear, you redouble your efforts to make your pet behave.
Only now you're dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before now produces the opposite of the desired result. Call it, and it runs away. Tell it to sit, and it jumps on the counter. The more you go toward it, wringing your hands, the more it moves away.
Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you can learn to behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door, and let it come to you. But remember that a cat needs your help and your affection too. Sit still, and it will come, seeking that warm comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it.
One day, your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a big kiss and say, "You've been on your feet all day. Let me get those dishes for you." Then you'll realize your cat is a dog again.
some days it's just not worth gnawing through the straps
http://home.earthlink.net/~linzwalley

[ChromeBoy 0]

I have been on my own since I was 16 years old. My father never was a huge part of my life and my mother died of cancer. But, it was the raising I had and the friends I made that became what is dear. You see, my fathers philosophy was that at the age of 16 I was basically who I was going to be. I was raised. So it wasn't a do what I say but more of a do what you need to do with the thoughts and beliefs I raised you with.
I have been alone alot in my life. My friends went off to other colleges and I went to a college and because I was on my own paying for everything including rent, car, tuition, books, meals, etc. I only lasted two years and had to go directly to the work environment. Did it pay off? Eventually it will. But I am a stronger person because I had to make my own decisions. Are all decisions the right decisions, no. But you live and learn!

[ECVZZ 0]

Nate, you are on the road to success. I left home very early and you tend to learn what you want and what is practical at a much earlier age. Don't fight it...Enjoy it and grow!!!
When you take care of yourself and your responsibilities
you earn respect! My problem is with a son who has no concept of being responsible for himself, yet wants to tell me how he will conduct himself.
So far I have managed to keep from sending him to juvinile hall ( Whittenberg Hall here in Reno) although several authority figures here have recommended it as a wake-up call. I have hopes that he will wake up and realize that he is a child, but I doubt it. His age group is so much more irresponsible than mine ( and even less than our fathers).
I have no problem sayin' " I'm Skeerd!" and I'm worried about the future of our nation. We're not the same nation of patriots we were even 50 years ago. WHAT THE FUCK WILL HAPPEN TO US!!!!
G. Jones
"Why don't they have a light bulb that only shines on things that are worth looking at?"

[AggieDave 6]

Quote

We're not the same nation of patriots we were even 50 years ago

I think that about my peers then I look around the 45,000 person campus and smile when things like THIS happen on my campus. That brown spotch on the bottom is the Corps of Cadets in uniform and the T-shirts were sold, not given away, so everyone bought one. The money was donated to WTC relief funds, this was organized by students, designed and implemented in about a week! Oh, there were about 86,000 people in the stands that day.
A human cannonball, I rise above it all
Up higher then a trapeze, I can fly

[hooked 0]

Oh, I am so glad my boys are grown, gone and married!!! I can't begin to understand how difficult it would be to raise them now. Just know, that it will get better, and they do eventually move out!!! Sometimes though, it might have to get worse to get better (Do you know what I mean?) Sometimes it just takes a good "wake-up call" for them to realize how good they really have it at home. Hang in there, you are doing the best you can do!
J

[lazerq3 0]

I think its all about in corperating Consiquence's and sticking to them!!!! I here some many parents yell at there kids and say "alright no more this," or " your not going to be doing this for however long"....the next day......there out doing it!!! ANd remember ..when or if they threaten to call the cops on you...its sgoing to take a few minutes for them to get there.....remind your child of that and see if they still want to make the call!!
jason

[hooked 0]

Yes!!!!!!!! If you say something, you better stick to it! That is so important. If they know you will 'give in', it won't work AT ALL! And again, sometimes they just have to learn the hard way---by their mistakes.
J

[kingbunky 3]

i know what you mean! i have both problems currently.. a 13 year old daughter that thinks she's 18, an 11 year old son that thinks he's about 11.. and two step-sons, 18 and 21, that have an apartment at the moment but are moving back in at the end of the month because they can't keep a job, won't look for a job, and spend half the day sleeping and half the night playing video games. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, drives me nuts! my plan was to have all my kids before i turned 30 (mission accomplished) so that i could throw them out when i was 50, then sell the house, buy a truck and semi-retire (ha-ha, pun intended) so that there would be no place for them to move back to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
bunky
get crazy, before it gets you.

[nubain1 0]

First thing you have to do is to place the mother's curse on them.You know,the one that starts out with "when you have kids I hope the turn out just like you!".Then start leaving pamplets around for amish summer camps.

[gale 0]

Yup, in my lowley opinion, setting rules and sticking to them is important. I am not a parent so some would say that I can't have an opinion here, but I can tell you that my parents were awful and they ended up producing my brother who only deals in illiegal activities, and a girl who was suicidal for years.
So here's my advice: sit down with your child and choose some responsibilities and consequences that you can both live with. These should include responsibilities and consequences for the parent as well. Then stick to it! If you both decide that 11 o'clock is a resonable curfew and he's late, the consequence should be implemented. I just make this point because my brother was an expert at wrapping our mother around his finger.
Other then that, if you can afford familty counselling it can really help. Raising teenagers is really tough and a neutral third party can help both of you.
Good luck. Raising kids is the most important (hard) thing you'll ever do.
Gale
Life's not worth living if you can't feel alive

[Muenkel 0]

All my life, I thought having my own kids would be the greatest gift. I still do. I'm 38 and do not have any kids. I first want to meet the right woman that I can spend the rest of my life with. Unfortunately that has not happened yet. Maybe I am a dreamer, but I think it is possible to meet someone, fall in love, marry and then have kids that become an extension of that love. I do know those kids will not be perfect and will definitely drive me nuts, but I still want them. Maybe I am a sap, but I haven't given up yet.
Such an interesting monster with such an interesting hairdo.
Chris

[ECVZZ 0]

My thanks to all who responded to this thread with your thoughts, ideas, and support in general. I thought you all might like to know that I've decided not to kill my son and dismember his body, or bury him alive in a huge ant hill...or drop him, still screaming, down an abandoned mine shaft.......
or.......Sorry, got carried away for a minute there.
All kidding aside, I love my son dearly and It's a bit hard for me to see him grow up so fast, and to watch him make some of the same mistakes that I made at that age. Sometimes I just want to grab him and shake him and ask him just what the hell he's doing. I do understand that we're both on a learning curve. It's his first time being a teenager, and my first time being the father of one.We'll learn together. Meanwhile, it has helped to know that every parent goes through this . Thanks
G. Jones
"Why don't they have a light bulb that only shines on things that are worth looking at?"

[lazerq3 0]

Quote

Meanwhile, it has helped to know that every parent goes through this . Thanks

Well....everyfamily except for the "Cleavers"!!
jason
" Ward...wernt you a little rough on the "BEAVER" last night?"!! ....

[steve1 5]

ecvcc,
Don't give up on your kid. I know he's probably rebellious and out of control. Someone mentioned setting some firm limits and this may be really hard to do if you haven't done this already. Adolecent years are probably the toughest of all to be a parent. I think it's also important to realize that it's not easy growing up in todays society. Sure there's plenty of material things, but at the same time many kids aren't getting what they really need. (Their parent's love, acceptance, and time). A lot of people say that they don't know what's wrong with todays kids. In the olden days things may have been tough, but in many ways it was a lot easier to grow up then. Probably just spending a lot of time with your son, would help him more than anything right now. Do some quality things with him like camping, fishing, hunting, etc. I know he may not want to do this because his friends are really important to him right now. I don't mean to sound like I know all there is to know about parenting, because I made some major mistakes in raising my own kids. The reason being that my wife and I weren't brought up right either. Both of our father's were alcoholics and we both grew up in really dysfunctional homes ourselves. We often times didn't know how to be good parents, when our own kids came along. So I'm still working on becoming a better parent. I just finished my Master's in School Counseling. I now work as a counselor in a Middle School, so I know what you are dealing with. It's a difficult job, but when you are helping someone who really needs you it's also rewarding. Have patience. If you are like me you probably don't have enough of it.