How to spot the TELEMARKETERS

[dbattman 0]

Telemarketers have their phones dialed by computer. It dials, waits for a connection, and routes it through to the telemarketer. However, this takes a few seconds.

So, if you answer and say "Hello? <0.5secpause> Hello?" and don't get a body, it's them. Hang up. If it's anyhting important, they'll call back.

Or, just get a cell phone.

[blondeflyer7 0]

Either that or they say" you have a important call please stay on the line" Yeah right

[dbattman 0]

I got a message once.

"This is so and so. I need to call me back as soon as possible regarding important personal business. My nuber is xxx-xxx-xxx-xx. Please reference #ffffff when returning my call."

Sound like a great setup for 'Crank-Yankers' bit.

[howardwhite 5]

There is a ~$50 gadget heavily advertized on TV a few months, and supposedly available at Radio Shack. It claims to detect telemarketing computer calls and "convinces" the computer it's talking to a non-number. Haven't seen it lately; maybe it went the way of "Ab Energizers."

HW

[hawkbit 0]

Its still around... you can pick it up at walmart... its the "telezapper"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You don't quit playing because you get old, you get old because you quit playing"

[howardwhite 5]

Does it work?

HW

[pilotdave 0]

Why hang up when you can have so very much fun? My roommate and I used to like to conference telemarketer calls so we could harrass the person together. My favorite things to do are ask where they're calling from, what company they actually work for (no, they don't really work for credit card companies, they work for telemarketing companies). Lots of them are college students so I find out where they go to school. My roommate usually likes to put them on hold, but leave the phone so they can hear... then he starts talking about the ASSHOLE THAT JUST CALLED. The only time they really bother me is when they wake me up. But remember, never just hang up. Always tell them to put you on their "do not call" list. If they call back, you could theoretically sue. The college students are funnest to just chat with because they dont usually care very much. They'll enjoy a little break. But the older people can be really fun to fuck with. They're usually not allowed to hang up first (unless you're really being a jerk), so they keep trying and trying to read their stuff. But you can just keep going off topic. So very much fun, unless you're busy.

Dave

[blondeflyer7 0]

Why hang up?

Well I got better things to do than speak to them! They are very annoying!!!!!!!!

[dbattman 0]

I heard a radio interview with a guy who works out of his house so he gets them all the time. He recorded a CD of some of his calls and played a few on the radio.

He pretended to be a stan[url]d-up that wanted to try out his material.

dude: "How many telemarketers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Four- but it only takes one to screw an old lady out of her savings! HA HA HA HA HA!"

dude: "Why did the telemarketer cross the road? To try and sell the chicken something he didn't need! HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

marketer: "I've got one for you. How many telemarketers does it take to kick your ass?"



dude: "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"



dude: "Hello? Hello?"


On another from a carpet cleaning company, he started asking about getting bloodstains out of the carpet and if that "home defense" thing worked with family mambers.

The cops showed up a short time later.

[Thanatos340 1]

My old Roommate and I used to compete to see who could get the Telemarketers to hang up on them the quickest. My record was about 22 seconds.
It is much more fun to make them hang up on you. I had about 5 different Characters I would play whenever I was "lucky" enough to answer when a telemarketer called.
The most effective was the Dirty Old man who was hard of hearing. If there was a female calling, all I would keep asking was what she wearing and then making her repeat herself louder and louder until she hung up. If it was a male on the other end (usually selling Vacations/timeshare places) all I would be interested in was whether or not it was one of those Nudie Resorts and if I could run around Nekkid.
Whenever I got a call trying to sell me magazines and Newspapers, I would get very offended and demand to know if this was some kind of sick joke. After I got the telemarketer thoroughly confused, I would tell them that I was Blind and demand to speak to their boss.
For those selling those damn FOP (Fraternal Order of Police) memberships/stickers, The Mega Stoner who didn’t understand anything would take over.
Telemarketers can be a lot of fun if you have the right attitude.

[VectorBoy 0]

I heard those guys that pray on the marketers. There is about four or five that sell their CD's. My personal favorite one is where the guy after he excuses himself from the marketer, but promises he is interested in whatever the guy was peddling, telling him he has someone on his other line hits his # key like he really has someone else on call waiting . Then procedes to tell his fictional phone mate that he has " a dumb ass telemarketer looser on the other line that he has to tell to get a real job and to leave me alone". And can he call him back later. ..Pause the marketer says you are talking to the dumb ass , then hangs up. Classic.
And I will use that on the very next one. Imagine being excited about the next telemarketer?

[fasterfaller 0]

There is also a box that intercepts the incoming call and tells them to enter a security code .No code no ring .

[bivar 0]

This might be a good idea?

BI

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[FliegendeWolf 0]

Quote

Always tell them to put you on their "do not call" list. If they call back, you could theoretically sue.

I actually went to a lawyer about this. As it turns out, the telemarketer has to call back twice within one year of your asking to be put on the do not call list before you can sue.
The one call that blew me away was from someone pitching a Discover card. I was in a sardonic mood that day, so I played along as though I were interested, asking all sorts of questions about it. The marketer talked about the 1% cashback award on qualified purchases, so I asked her what constituted a qualified purchase. She didn't understand the question, and just repeated that you get a 1% cashback award on qualified purchases. I told her that I needed to know what purchases would be considered qualified. She said that she didn't know, but that I could call customer service once the card came and ask them.
Then, I asked her whether the cardmember agreement includes a binding arbitration clause (check your agreements, folks. This clause waives your right to sue the company over a dispute in favor of taking the dispute to a private arbitrator, whose fees begin in the thousands ... are you going to recoup those fees with whatever dispute you take to the arbitrator?) Anyway, I asked her this question, and she didn't have a clue. She said she'd never heard of this before, and she can personally assure me that there is no such clause. Well, I know for a fact that there is, because this is why I never signed up for a Discover Card when I wanted to cancel my Citibank card for including the same agreement.
So, she is selling a product of which she is completely ignorant! And when she couldn't answer my questions, her suggestion was for me to sign up for the card, and just ask somebody later about it. I couldn't believe it! How on earth can you sell something without knowing what it is?!?

A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All

[jfields 0]

Quote

How on earth can you sell something without knowing what it is?

It actually works pretty well when the average American is a retarded idiot when it comes to intelligent consumerism. They don't care about the details. If the approach didn't work so well, they would find some other way. So far, there are still plenty of suckers.

Personally, I am glad there are so many suckers. It makes things better for those of us that do shop carefully and use our money wisely. For example, it is all the sheep that perpetually carry high credit card balances that allow the credit card companies to make money while offering rebates. I pay my cards off in full every month, but have accumulated over a thousand dollars in rebates without paying a penny in interest. Works for me...

[pilotdave 0]

A great question to ask the credit card sales people is whether or not they have the card. Of course they don't, so ask why not. My roommate and I were talking to one guy, some college kid, about a credit card he was offering to me. It was a card where they put your picture on the back. So my roommate started asking about the picture. He asked if he could use a picture of him and his girlfriend. The guy said no, they will supply the picture. My roommate asked how they'd get a picture, and the guy said they'll hire a private investigator to take one when you're not expecting.
Another time I got a call about a credit card. I told the guy i wasn't interested but i knew someone that was. So i had my roommate pick up and act very interested. They're not allowed to sell to people that aren't on their list, so he kept asking for me. My roommate kept trying to convince him to sell him the credit card. Oh how the tables turned.

Dave

[ramon 0]

If I miss a credit card or car payment, they pronounce my name correctly.

if it is telemarketer..
"uhh is this Mr. ara...ara...ra...raymone..re..re...remonday? (probably selling a new purchasing service that allows me to save 100s of dollars on name brand bullshit)"


ramon

"Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.", Ambrose Bierce.

[FliegendeWolf 0]

Good call. Reale isn't the most obvious word to pronounce. Any time somebody asks for Mr. (Reel), (Reelee), or (REE-al), I can rest assure it's a telemarketer.

A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All

[Muenkel 0]

What works for me is caller ID. Telemarketers usually come up as "unavailable". If I see that, answering machine! Should they trick me, I usually know they are a telemarketer because they never can pronounce my last name correctly. When I hear that, I just say, sorry he's not in. End of conversation.

Other total annoyance: All the credit card offers that come in the mail!!! "You are pre-approved for $50,000 credit, just sign this check already made out in your name". I don't even open these envelopes. I just rip them up and throw them in the trash.

_________________________________________
Chris

[FliegendeWolf 0]

Quote

Other total annoyance: All the credit card offers that come in the mail!!! "You are pre-approved for $50,000 credit, just sign this check already made out in your name". I don't even open these envelopes. I just rip them up and throw them in the trash.

The ones that I love are the ones that are designed to look "official." I got one the other day that had a big sticker that looked like a UPS label on it with all sorts of random coding. I've gotten ones that are designed to look like utility bills. I've gotten ones with "Confidential - Only to be opened by addressee" written on them. Thing is, if they really want to fool me, they have to figure a way not to have the "Postage Prepaid - Capital One Corp" over where the stamp would be. That's the first thing I look for when deciding whether to open a letter. (Oh shit, you don't think I just gave them an idea, do you?)

A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All