jtval 0 #1 September 17, 2003 Q: What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A: Juan on Juan. Q: What is a Yankee? A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? A: The position of the dirt bag. Q: Why is divorce so expensive? A: Because it's worth it. Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? A: Doughnuts. Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART II (JUST WARMING UP!) Q: What do you call a smart blonde? A: A golden retriever. Q: What do attorneys use for birth control? A: Their personalities. Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? A: 45 lbs. Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? A: 45 minutes. Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart? A: Through his chest with a sharp knife. Q: Why do men want to marry virgins? A: They can't stand criticism. Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? A: Because those men already have boyfriends. Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? A: Because they have cotton balls. Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A: A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? A: "Are you sure it's mine?" Q: Why does Kobe Bryant cry during sex? A: Mace will do that to you. Q: Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? A: Everyone has the same DNA. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes. Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? A: He walks around saying "Yo." Q: Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? A: Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE, PART III (Just Great Stuff) Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A: A different bar. Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? A: They named him "Sum Ting Wong" Q: What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A: A speech impediment. Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? A: They're hiring. Q: What's the difference between a southern (US) zoo and a northern zoo? A: A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a "recipe". Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! Q: What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A: A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..." Q: Why is there no Disneyland in China? A: No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pds 0 #2 September 17, 2003 BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA almost crying. bump bump bump.namaste, motherfucker. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #3 September 17, 2003 Quote BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA almost crying. bump bump bump. I am truly surprised...I thought I heard em all....these are great!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Casie 0 #4 September 17, 2003 A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "Hellooooo," answered the blonde, "they're watch dogs!"~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
funks 1 #5 September 17, 2003 this one just may be the worst one of all time...... What do you tell a girl with two black eyes? Nothing...she's already been told twice. I know, bad bad bad..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #6 September 17, 2003 LMAO.....Very funny JT.."According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
321seeya 0 #7 September 17, 2003 Whats the difference between a blonde and bowling ball? A: You can only fit THREE fingers in a bowling ball... Whats the difference between a woman and a washing machine? A: You can dump your load in a washing machine and it wont call you for nine months after.... Whats the difference between a faggot and a rooster? A: The rooster says...Cock-a-doodle-doo The fag says...Any-Cock-Will-Do BASE 3:16 - Even if you are about to land on a cop - DONT FORGET TO FLARE! Free the soul -- DJ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clownburner 0 #8 September 17, 2003 Q: What's the difference between a phone booth and a sorority girl? A: Two men inside a phone booth at the same time feel crowded. Q: What's the difference between the titanic and a sorority girl? A: They know how many men went down on the titanic. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and the Duke of York? A: The Duke of York only had 1,000 men.7CP#1 | BTR#2 | Payaso en fuego Rodriguez "I want hot chicks in my boobies!"- McBeth Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #9 September 17, 2003 Q-whats the difference between a 3- ring circus and a sorority house? A- the first is a cunning array of stunts.... (hint for the slow folks: its a play on words)My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pegasus 0 #10 September 18, 2003 Thanks JT...im really bummed and that helped me giggle... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
YahooLV 0 #11 September 18, 2003 Q: what did the leper say to the hooker? A: You can keep the tip. A priest and a Rabbi were walkin' down the street next to a school...the Priest said to the Rabbi.... "see that boy over there? Let's "F" him! The Rabbi replied..."outta what?"http://www.curtisglennphotography.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
greenemachine 0 #12 September 18, 2003 rothflmao..thanks allIf a Blonde throws a pin at you RUN, shes got a hand grenade in her mouth! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yardhippie 0 #13 September 18, 2003 Q: whats the difference between a prostitute and a pie? A: CrustsGoddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD "What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me "Anything you want." ~ female skydiver Mohoso Rodriguez #865 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #14 September 18, 2003 QuoteQ: whats the difference between a prostitute and a pie? A: Crusts Well... that is the hope. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #15 September 18, 2003 QuoteThanks JT...im really bummed and that helped me giggle... glad you found a smile under all the stress/sorrow/BULLSHIT you are dealing with now. brush it away before they pile more on your plate along the same lines of my other joke... Whats the difference between a cleaver midget and a hooker with the clap? the first is cunning little runtMy photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
