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jumperconway

Top 10 Things you should NEVER say to ........

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I gotta remember that just in case I ever find myself in a position of being married someday.



Don't do it! It's a trick!
[:/]
-Josh
If you have time to panic, you have time to do something more productive. -Me*
*Ron has accused me of plagiarizing this quote. He attributes it to Douglas Adams.

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Typical posters:

From political threads:
"I believe in the complete separation of the left leg from the right."

"Now that's what I call standing up for what you believe in."

Philosophers:
"Emotions are the mind's near-instantaneous evaluation of a perceived fact or idea as either good or bad for the individual. Hence, my wet panties."

"Contradictions do not exist. You can't insert it there and there at the same time. Wait a second. Open up the top drawer of my nightstand."

Grammar Nazis:
"To say 'Fuck me harder' one must first know how to say the 'me'." (Note the good grammar and spelling ;) )

Atheists:
"Damn, whose name do I yell out?"

Individualists:
"There's no such thing as a collective orgasm. But let's try our best."

Business managers posting from work:
"Good for you, you finally found my G-spot. Score one for goal-directed action."

Future romance novelists:
"You selfish. greedy, insensitive bitch! What? You don't like my pillow talk?"

"No, I'm not crying, something is in my eye."
(I love women who get this joke :ph34r: )

Leave anybody out? :D

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Actually, the worst thing to say to a woman is SHUT UP, because that will cause a blah-blahthon that could last for days. :D



You should ask them "Is this how you really feel or is this just the moment?" They will think about it for an hour. Call a g/f and discuss it for two hours. Call their sister and get pissed off at her for taking "your side". Come to their senses and realize how lucky they are to even have a man. Snuggle and apologize. :)

If you want them to be quiet, just ask them to think. (There's no implied comment here. :) ;))

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You should ask them "Is this how you really feel or is this just the moment?" They will think about it for an hour. Call a g/f and discuss it for two hours. Call their sister and get pissed off at her for taking "your side". Come to their senses and realize how lucky they are to even have a man. Snuggle and apologize. :)

OK, you MUST be married;):D:D:D
Just gotta love women!:)












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Here is a few I've discovered I shouldn't say...

1. Are you sure you took your hormone meds this morning?
2. That's funny but is all I heard you say was..."Don't mind me I'm just a nagging bitch"
3. I lost how many points? I'd better deposit the rest in your sisters account.

SMA#18

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Ok, that one's pretty bad too... but then again, my sister IS hot!



One of my sisters is a hottie. She gets called MILF quite a bit by her sons friends. I think it's hilarious.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

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When D and I were engaged, we lived on seperate coasts (which was not an easy thing to do mind you) Anyway, he flew east one weekend to spend some time with me--he took the red eye friday night, arrived sat morning. Anyway, he had a really long week before that, couple that with no sleep on the plane and jet lag--he was pretty out of it. So Sat night we go down to my favorite city and have dinner at a nice restaurant and then over to a romantic place for after dinner drinks. Halfway into his B&B he looks across the table at me and says something like "you know, I bet if you were to wear your hair up that way in a bar you wouldn't get approached by any men.." I guess the blank stare and my jaw hitting the floor made him feel he needed to elaborate and tell me just how intimidating of a look it was for me. Needless to say the next look on my face probably scared the hell out of him--I chalked it up to the wear on his body that weekend, still married him a month later, but occasionally I still kick his ass for it.:D

"no honey, I like your hair up now. Really." :S yeah right whatever. :P


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When D and I were engaged, we lived on seperate coasts (which was not an easy thing to do mindyou)



he looks across the table at me and says something like "you know, I bet if you were to wear your hair up that way in a bar you wouldn't get approached by any men.."

>I have a hat, that I was told looks "just like the hat my grandmother used to wear to go fishing in"

Don't wear that hat much.......

skydiveTaylorville.org
[email protected]

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3. "Looks like someone had an extra bowl of Bitch Flakes this morning."



I've used that one before. Hmmm....maybe that has something to do with why I am divorced. :D Nahhhhhhh.......



And women say they look for honesty in a guy. :) Honesty in a guy is usually followed by a sharp object in a guy.

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