Explain the age old "double standard"

[MarkM 0]

Basic biology. For humans a child is a long term investment by the parents, we have a very long helpless period when born and need our parents to protect and feed us. For a woman having a child, they need a man that can protect them when they're preggers, provide for them/their child and will stick around to raise the kid.

For men who want to have a child, we need a woman who will nurture the kid and won't go behind our back, fuck some other guy and then tell us it's our kid. We don't have any natural way to tell if a born child is ours or not, so we want a faithful woman. One that doesn't screw anything that moves.

Hence the double standard.

[weegegirl 2]

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Deal with it.

Be nice to her. She's gestating, and has been in a pissy mood for quite some time now.

I'm not sure I know exactly what "gestating" means in this instance.

It means that it's only a few days before Frenchy's fourth love child is born. (that's a joke by the way!)

I wasn't trying to harsh on you, I actually agree with you. In my "dating terms", if there is such a thing, I am not attracted to someone who whores themselves out. I try to discourage my friends, or rather protect my drunken sky buds, from whoring themselves out.

However, outside of my immediate circle, I don't give a damn what goes on. I'm not going to tell the 400 lb. cross-dressing figure skater that they are unnacceptable. (But I will throw up in my mouth a little).

Okay, I'll shut up and go away now.

[rhino 0]

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A guy sleeps around, gets "pages in his book" He's stud...

I'm a MANGINA.. I've also been called a HEPUSSY.. lol

What a great movie!!

[jenfly00 0]

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You guys know the one I am talking of....

A guy sleeps around, gets "pages in his book" He's stud...

Not so for the ladies.... not very fair if you ask me, if a girl even acts in such a fashion (with otu actually doing the deed) she often times gets the label of slut or ho....

what gives, are women just not allowed to be sexual creatures, or if they are are we simply not allowed to act on it?

Ive asked this question many times, and have never gotten a clear acceptable answer.... So I turn to ya'll my all knowing sky friends

let the debate begin!!!

Who holds this double standard? Is it just men, holding woman back? Well, yeah, to some extent, it is.
As women, we continue to insist that we are special ...that we deserve considerations not offered to men. In skydiving, we insist on our own records. Why, we even asked for and have our own discussion group here on dz.com! If we stop to think about it in an unbiased manner, what we expect and demand contributes to the double standards we find unfair.

Jen

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"O brave new world that has such people in it".

[gmittar 0]

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Deal with it.

Be nice to her. She's gestating, and has been in a pissy mood for quite some time now.

I'm not sure I know exactly what "gestating" means in this instance.

It means that it's only a few days before Frenchy's fourth love child is born. (that's a joke by the way!)

I wasn't trying to harsh on you, I actually agree with you. In my "dating terms", if there is such a thing, I am not attracted to someone who whores themselves out. I try to discourage my friends, or rather protect my drunken sky buds, from whoring themselves out.

However, outside of my immediate circle, I don't give a damn what goes on. I'm not going to tell the 400 lb. cross-dressing figure skater that they are unnacceptable. (But I will throw up in my mouth a little).

Okay, I'll shut up and go away now.

Well, the unacceptability is between the partners involved. I guess I figured that went without saying. HOwever, I do have "friends" that are whores, of both sexes and I don't tend to spend much time or effort on them.

|>.<|
Seriously, W.T.F. mate?

[Frenchy68 0]

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HOwever, I do have "friends" that are whores, of both sexes and I don't tend to spend much time or effort on them.

That's the beauty of it. You don't have to work on them that hard...

"For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return."

[gmittar 0]

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As women, we continue to insist that we are special ...that we deserve considerations not offered to men. In skydiving, we insist on our own records. Why, we even asked for and have our own discussion group here on dz.com! If we stop to think about it in an unbiased manner, what we expect and demand contributes to the double standards we find unfair.

Jen

Excellent point, and I'm glad it was a woman who brought it up. Women don't really want equality, and in fact rarely settle for it.

I went to a boarding school where sexes were segregated till we were about 13 and then they were thrown together. Girls that were then treated by boys, like boys treated other boys have been bitter about it ever since.

|>.<|
Seriously, W.T.F. mate?

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[gmittar 0]

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HOwever, I do have "friends" that are whores, of both sexes and I don't tend to spend much time or effort on them.

That's the beauty of it. You don't have to work on them that hard...

I meant as friends. Generally I wouldn't touch em with a ten foot pole.

|>.<|
Seriously, W.T.F. mate?

[Frenchy68 0]

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Generally I wouldn't touch em with a ten foot pole.

That would be perverted.

"For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return."

[happythoughts 0]

Actually, the perception is already made, regardless of the sex involved.

There are many independent women who enjoy sex and have it with who they choose. (Most of them are 35+ though, and don't really care about the perception of others.)

There are many attributes that others can find attractive. If a persons self-esteem is poor enough, they may feel like sex is all they have going for them. Self-esteem doesn't always reflect reality.

The primary evaluation is done by ones self before any decisions are made.

[peacefuljeffrey 0]

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There are many attributes that others can find attractive. If a persons self-esteem is poor enough, they may feel like sex is all they have going for them. Self-esteem doesn't always reflect reality.

The primary evaluation is done by ones self before any decisions are made.

You are so right. Excellent points, Bill.

It is so true that we can easily make ourselves believe we are loved, desired and respected if all we can do is get someone to have sex with us. It VALIDATES us -- right or wrong.

Of course, the pitfall is that there is always someone out there willing to sleep with someone in spite of NOT thinking that person is respect-worthy, attractive, whatever. So the person who sought sex for validation gets used, and while they were hoping to get reassurance of their value as a person (via sexual worthiness), they get nothing but bitter.

The human drama goes on...

-Jeffrey

-Jeffrey
"With tha thoughts of a militant mind... Hard line, hard line after hard line!"

[jenfly00 0]

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As women, we continue to insist that we are special ...that we deserve considerations not offered to men. In skydiving, we insist on our own records. Why, we even asked for and have our own discussion group here on dz.com! If we stop to think about it in an unbiased manner, what we expect and demand contributes to the double standards we find unfair.

Jen

Excellent point, and I'm glad it was a woman who brought it up. Women don't really want equality, and in fact rarely settle for it.

I went to a boarding school where sexes were segregated till we were about 13 and then they were thrown together. Girls that were then treated by boys, like boys treated other boys have been bitter about it ever since.

Bite me! Some of us do, and our numbers are growing. We fight against the attitudes of men who feel we do not or should not want eqality and we fight against the attitudes of the women who take refuge in the special or sepratist categories for women.

Some of us just want to live our lives equally and fairly in this world. The time is coming. Many men and some women don't like it, but the time is coming when we can drop all this shit and live our lives unencumbered by the restrictive attitudes found in both genders.

Jen

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"O brave new world that has such people in it".

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[gmittar 0]

Personally, Jen, I can't wait!

|>.<|
Seriously, W.T.F. mate?

[Lindsey 0]

Girls that were then treated by boys, like boys treated other boys have been bitter about it ever since.


likewise....I don't know of many boys who wouldn't be bitter if they were treated like girls....like girls treat other girls. Like it or not boys and girls ARE different in many ways. Equality in terms of opportunity and responsibility does not, in my mind, mean that we all are the same. I like being a woman, and I like being treated like a woman by a man. That does not diminish my value in the workplace or in my community or the quality of my thoughts.

Peace~
linz

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A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail

[WrongWay 0]

Personally, I think what separates "being a whore" and having many partners during one's lifetime is the situation in which the partners did their business. For instance, I have much more repect for someone with 20 partners in 6 years who sincerely wanted to have some kind of relationship with said persons than I would for someone who had the same number of partners in the same amount of time but every one was a hook up at a bar/boogie/etc.....

Everyone has their own opinions of what makes a whore, male or female, and this is mine. Hell, ask my friends, I'm no angel, but ask me how many one night stands I've had.....it's not a lot. Therefore, I wouldn't discriminate against a person just because they have had several partners, cuz it'd probably be a double standard, but I wouldn't touch them if those encounters were with someone they met that day or if they had 2 or more random hook ups at a one week (or less) boogie.

Wrong Way
D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451
The wiser wolf prevails.

[goose491 0]

"Double Standard"

It stems from the fact that you are the ones that get pregnant. Sleep around in the old days and you'd end up with a bun in the oven and not knowing who the father was. You'd of ruined the arranged marriage your dad had planned and you'd of given him a bastard-mouth to feed. And being pregnant is not something you can hide from the town... so the town talks about you sleeping around... They don't talk about the guy that knocked you up. All hell breaks loose and you are unable to say who the father is because you slept with many men. And there are no paternity tests. You can't pin it on a guy. That was the double standard back then.

Today we have affective birth control, you women know your bodies much better. You are more free to do what you please... and you are just as horny as you have ever been. Due to years of suppression though, you have the uncanny ability to "hold out" that us guys have never had to practice. Also because of years of suppression, you want power. As a whole, you want to use Sex for Power. The real double standard today is that women think they can be horny and play it off like we guys are the only ones! They like the 1950s concept that they are doing us guys a favor by having sex with us.

If you yourself are a "liberated woman", then it is your own kind that looks down on you first. "She's ruining it for the rest of us! How can we use sex as power if it is known that we want it just as much?" Is what they think. "Look at that slut sleeping around." is what they say.

Just my $0.02CND... donning flame suit in three... two... one....now

My Karma ran over my Dogma!!!

[PrairieDoug 0]

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Basic biology.

I think Mark is on to something here. Another aspect of the biology influence I've heard about is that humans have a strong drive to pass along their genetic material. It sounds arrogant, but that's what the biologists say.

Here's the catch: No matter how many partners a woman has, she always knows that any child she carries has her genetic imprint. But a man cannot be certain that his partner's child is, in fact, his biological offspring.

From this perspective, promiscuity by women is condemned by men because it undermines the man's ability to know that his genetic imprint is being passed to future generations.

[jenfly00 0]

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Girls that were then treated by boys, like boys treated other boys have been bitter about it ever since.


likewise....I don't know of many boys who wouldn't be bitter if they were treated like girls....like girls treat other girls. Like it or not boys and girls ARE different in many ways. Equality in terms of opportunity and responsibility does not, in my mind, mean that we all are the same. I like being a woman, and I like being treated like a woman by a man. That does not diminish my value in the workplace or in my community or the quality of my thoughts.

Peace~
linz

We enjoy being treated in ways we have been acculturated by people who have been acculturated to behave in such a manner ...by a patriarchial society with a vested interest in keeping the power structure intact. It is the very nature and primary goal of a society to establish norms of behavior, relative worth and value that all accept. My problem lies in that one gender has paid and continues to pay a disproportionatly large portion of the cost.

Interpersonal power within social groups is established and maintained by subtle words, phrases, gestures and attitudes. Let me get that door for you, darlin. Just being respectful to the little lady. These phrases establish relative power and dominance and serve to reinforce established social positions. Not as crude as "get back in the kitchen" but the societal intent is the same ...to mainain the stability of the power structure. It establishes social position and relative value within the group, be it family, social or work. No offense intented, but I suspect they do, indeed, affect the quality of your very thoughts as evidenced by your appreciation of such acts.

We like it because we have been taught from day one that it is normal and acceptable. They seem well intentioned and harmless, but women have been presented the bill for such socialization over the generations and the cost is too much to bear for those who want equality.

Change is not a warm and fuzzy thing. It is, however, a necessary thing ...and looonng overdue.

Jen

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"O brave new world that has such people in it".

[Vallerina 2]

I think I have a non-sexual crush on you!

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[jenfly00 0]

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I think I have a non-sexual crush on you!

You wouldn't be giving me special consideration because of my gender, would you?

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"O brave new world that has such people in it".

[Vallerina 2]

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I think I have a non-sexual crush on you!

You wouldn't be giving me special consideration because of my gender, would you?

Call me sexist, but I just don't find women very attractive!

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[MarkM 0]

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We enjoy being treated in ways we have been acculturated by people who have been acculturated to behave in such a manner ...by a patriarchial society with a vested interest in keeping the power structure intact. It is the very nature and primary goal of a society to establish norms of behavior, relative worth and value that all accept. My problem lies in that one gender has paid and continues to pay a disproportionatly large portion of the cost.

Oh please.

Women haven't been so helpless over the last 50k years to just sit by and let the mean ole men take over for them. Societies have been patriarchial because in the past societies that favored men dominated those that didn't. And that's just because men can wield clubs better than women. The women sit home and have babies while the men go out and get killed. If you kill off too many men, then you just have one man marry multiple women to keep the babies coming.

Women control the birthing and rearing process. If they didn't want men to dominate all they would have to do is kill off the boy babies or just not take care of them as well. But typically infantcide is committed on girls.

[Buried 0]

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I think I have a non-sexual crush on you!

You wouldn't be giving me special consideration because of my gender, would you?

Call me sexist, but I just don't find women very attractive!

shame on you!

Where is my fizzy-lifting drink?

[Lindsey 0]

Whatever the social dynamics are that underlie it (and I promise you I DO understand), I STILL like being treated like a lady.

linz

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A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail

[Amazon 7]

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what gives, are women just not allowed to be sexual creatures, or if they are are we simply not allowed to act on it?

I gave it serious thought and have not posted to the thread for several days.

NOW..

This is just another instance of how the hypocrisy of this society manifests itself. I grew up in a time when roles were fairly strictly defined and the coming of the sexual revolution of the 60's was indeed a breath of fresh air. But it seems it was all a horrible hoax. The repressive elements have reared their heads yet again and made the double standard the norm. Any deviation from that standard is made to pay with gossip and innuendo from those who purport to be the normal ones in our society.
( I always was taught that the drive to be normal was to strive for mediocrity, I just used this in my life in a broader fashion than it was intended)

The only way to fight it is to segment ones life and to compartmentalize. Appearances are important to those in the norm. Who says we cant have a full and varied sex life? The secret is to be able to keep secrets.. just as in the days of old, and maintain appearances. Full disclosure of ones past is never necessary and maintains appearances.
Screw THEIR standard.. and joke em since they cant take a fuck