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dixieskydiver

Open Letter Thread

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Dear Lords of Fate and Chance,

Thank you ever so kindly for intervening on my behalf and preventing me from seeing any of Bolas's naked jaunts around the former Rantoul Air Force Base's grounds. However, if it had been 20 degrees cooler and the jet jumpable, I think I would have traded in the other favor in a heart beat.

Dixie

Dixie
HISPA #56 Facil Rodriguez
"Scientific research has shown that 60% of the time, it works every time."

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Dear Paul,

Sorry, just because they call you 'Pee Wee' does not mean I am going to be interested. You are too old for me, straight, and wear more makeup than me. I can't have that.

Just friends,

Michael
_________________________________________
Twin Otter N203-Echo,29 July 2006
Cessna P206 N2537X, 19 April 2008
Blue Skies Forever

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Dear Beer, Tequilla, Bourbon and Jello Shots,

Thank you for rendering me unconscious prior to Bolas's nekked escapades.

Dear Trailer,

Thank you for not tossing me on to the runway at a high rate of speed.
I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

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dear wallet,

i just fed you not too long ago and you seem to have digested everything already... not cool... oddly enough this brings a ben folds quote to mind "give me my money back you bitch">:(

dear leukemia,

you suck and i hate you - it would be really nice if you finally left mehoo alone and decided never to return, what did she ever do to you??

to mehoo's asshole husband,

if you don't learn how to respect and properly care for your wife REAL soon, its on... stop being such a panzy ass and be supportive... for once in your life you should realize the world does NOT revolve around you!

dear special people in my life (and you know who you are),

thanks for making me smile and laugh :) you are wonderful!!
"life does throw curveballs sometimes but it doesn't mean we shouldn't still swing for the homerun" ~ me

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Dear Time,

Hurry up, you slack-assed marmot rapist. I'm sick of waiting for my rig, and I'd like the Holiday Boogie to come faster. I'm also rather curious what my best friend/ex-girlfriend has to tell me, but won't do so until December.

Get off your ass, suck it up, and move.

Waiting for you in the parking lot,
Grue
cavete terrae.

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Dear Dixie,

Your thread rocks!

Sincerely Entertained


Dear Steak and Blowjob day

How do i get my girlfriend to believe in you? No really...

Yours always
Red Blooded Male



Dear Peej,

No worries mate.

Dixie


Dear Physical Chemistry Class,

I know that you and I have a rocky past but I was hoping that we could start fresh at this new and hopefully easier college. If I can pass you here then I won't have to take you at my real college where they find it necessary to make you impossible to pass.

Dixie


Dear Me,

Why the flying fuck did you not choose a liberal arts major? Haven't you ALWAYS done better in LA classes? Polymer chemistry? WTF were you thinking? Well I know what you were thinking, $$$ but it's not like only science jobs pay good $$$ you dickhead. Now you're 4 years in and it's too late to start over. Geez.

Dixie

Dixie
HISPA #56 Facil Rodriguez
"Scientific research has shown that 60% of the time, it works every time."

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Dear Tropical Storm Katrina,

Please go away. Why must you and all your depression, storm, and hurricane friends grace us with your presence on the weekend? Would you please consider making a hard right hand turn and going off to sea to play by yourself? Or, if you must pay south florida a visit, could you atleast slow down or speed up so as not to ruin the entire weekend?

Looking forward to not seeing you,
Christine

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dear marketing freaks,

remind me again why in the hell you have halloween decorations up in august??? should i now expect christmas in september??? this is freakin ridiculous... let everyone enjoy the rest of their summer before they need to figure out what hot costume they are going to wear in the middle of the fall
"life does throw curveballs sometimes but it doesn't mean we shouldn't still swing for the homerun" ~ me

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Dear Tequila, Jaeger Bombs and Friends

I thought we were pals!

Why when i love you so much do you treat me so bad?

I'm ending this torrid affair!

See you on the weekend
me


Dear Hangover

What is it? What do you WANT? I've tried Coca-Cola, chocolate, a chicken mayo sandwich, Biltong and lotsa water. Nothing seems to help!

Give me a clue or take a hike

love always




Dear Body

I'm sorry i put you through this, again.

Sincerely sorry
me

ps. if you though Wednesday night was heavy, just WAIT till Saturday

Advertisio Rodriguez / Sky

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dear peej,

gatorade or pedialite - good stuff for a hang over and also a super long shower - one of the fastest ways to re-hydrate your body besides drinking lots of water is to take a SUPER long shower... your skin is your biggest organ and if its dry its gonna want to soak up as much as possible... hope you recover in time to do it to yourself all over again this weekend


dear self,

i know ultimately not jumping yesterday was probably a smarter decision but i'm still pissed at you that you didn't follow through-- next time get enough sleep so you can wait for the winds to calm down again... also can you please make a decision as to what in the hell you are going to do for the next 5 days that miraculously you have off


p-burg or bust - :P
"life does throw curveballs sometimes but it doesn't mean we shouldn't still swing for the homerun" ~ me

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one of the fastest ways to re-hydrate your body besides drinking lots of water is to take a SUPER long shower... your skin is your biggest organ and if its dry its gonna want to soak up as much as possible...



oh yeah! that's why when we're up at such a high altitude with very thin air, our body is practically DYING for oxygen! so in freefall our pores open up to take in all the oxygen we've been lacking!!!!

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!!! :P:P:P:P

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Dear Boobies.

stop staring at my eyes all the time


Dear Bill Gates / Donald Trump (or any capitalist monkey with more cash than the rest of the world)

lend all Dropzoners some cash you greedy non skydiving lay abouts so we can all jump for free for a year or two, we are quite prepared to buy you a beer or two

Dear Canon

my lovely new eos 350d keeps missing off peoples heads on my tracking dive pictures , dont make me have to fit a sight, invent a better camera that works the same as firefox did.

Dear 'the bit of my life in which no skydiving took place, despite only living 20minutes from a dropzone'

WTF were you doing instead !

oh yea,
Dear Wife

can we get divorced, this relationship is really screwing with my skydiving plans, 'when are we doing this' 'when are we doing that' i have no idea love, should get 5 in tho' if the weather stays nice >:(
"Message from the dark side, there is"
Yoda

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oh yeah! that's why when we're up at such a high altitude with very thin air, our body is practically DYING for oxygen! so in freefall our pores open up to take in all the oxygen we've been lacking!!!!

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!!!



thanks mr smarty pants :) i promise it works...;):P
"life does throw curveballs sometimes but it doesn't mean we shouldn't still swing for the homerun" ~ me

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