somebody help me understand

[tumbler 0]

I have been up all night... I just stared at the ceiling in the dark, alone. I found out last night that my wife of 11 years is having an affair and I am broken now. I dont know where to turn, who to talk to or what to do... i cant understand this. I hurt so bad now.

[shermanator 3]

sorry to hear that. hang in there.

CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08
CSA #720

[Peej 0]

Wow dude, that's rough. My thoughts are with you.

Advertisio Rodriguez / Sky

[Broke 0]

Wow bro, that sucks really bad. If it wouldn't be prying to far how'd you find out?

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[tumbler 0]

A while back I asked for help with a key stroke logger... I put it on my daugters computer... I thought she might be using the family one also so i put it on that one last week.... found it there.

[Broke 0]

Hmmm... Sorry to hear that, so there was a level of misstrust for a while before the keystroke logging program.

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[waltappel 1]

Quote

I have been up all night... I just stared at the ceiling in the dark, alone. I found out last night that my wife of 11 years is having an affair and I am broken now. I dont know where to turn, who to talk to or what to do... i cant understand this. I hurt so bad now.

Oh man--I'm feeling for you.

Walt

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no... only with my daughter. I had until last night believed that our love was on solid ground. Finding this by chance has been a blow like nothing I can explain...

[Broke 0]

hmm.. sorry to hear that. I just really don't know what to say.

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

I think you maybe asking the wrong people to "help you understand". Sorry.

Only your wife can get you to that point and possibly a Counselor......

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[skydivermom 0]

I can't even imagine I'm so sorry man.

Mrs. WaltAppel

All things work together for good to them that love God...Romans 8:28

[JohnnyD 0]

If she doesn't know that you know, don't tell her.
Call a lawyer.
Good luck.

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Thank you all for the kind words... my head is on a little straighter now... the knot in my gut is starting to loosen and things seem to be slowing down a little.

I actually filed for divorce on Friday, ask for an order to have her not be able to take our 9 year old son out of the state (NY) and asked for the house. Of course all temporary until we actually go in to family court.

She offered me a deal... if I let her take my son to California she will leave with nothing.. child support, no alimony, nothing.... She is trying to buy my son from me... it made my head start spinning again...

Lawrocket, any thoughts?

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and thank you all for all the PM's also....

I love skydivers.

[lawrocket 3]

Quote

She offered me a deal... if I let her take my son to California she will leave with nothing.. child support, no alimony, nothing

She can waive the spousal support. She can waive the child support. But once she sets up residency here in Cali, she can get you for child support. And since you won't be having any visitation sine you are cross country, it'll be a lot of child support. And you will have lost your son for the thought of not paying money you'll end up paying, anyway.

Sounds like a lose-lose situation to me. But it's your choice.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Conundrum 1]

Ugh, I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't think anyone can really help you understand why, some people are just scuzzy. I know it hurts more than anything in the world right now, and with children it's even worse that she'd do that. Cheaters make me sick.

/rant

[wmw999 2,123]

Moving far away so quickly sucks for your son. My ex-husband and I lived close, so that he could move to live with who he needed more (which was his dad when he turned 13), and get ample time support from the non-custodial parent.

If you will make it easy for your ex-wife to take time with your son, and she will make it hard for you, then you should walk away from the stuff and have him live with you in the city where he has friends and a support system. If you can comfortably support him, then child support can be kept to the non-punitive level, which will also keep it more likely that both parents will stay involved. Not that you don't get child support, just don't use it to punish her. We went with what my ex and I agreed between us rather than a court-ordered amount, and it worked well. Each of us had far more flexibility by making our own deal than we would have if we had taken it to lawyers.

It's only stuff. You can get new stuff. And good luck -- this is a really sucky situation.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[leapdog 0]

That's rough. Hang in there, be carefull with how you handle this. Protect yourself, but keep your child as a top priority also. Remember it does get better.

For what it's worth, you are not by yourself. There are others going through terrible news too.

Gunnery Sergeant of Marines
"I would like it if I were challenged mentally at my job and not feel like I'm mentally challenged." - Co-worker

[tumbler 0]

Thanks all..

I was able to get a docket number today but the judge did not sign it because the clerk misplaced my paperwork. At least I got a judge that is fair from what I understand and I may stand a chance of getting my son instead of going straight to his mom. I think a boy should be with his father.... I hope that the court agrees.

Thanks again for the vibes and the thoughts...

Tom