Wussy Parents! I just don't get it.

[ACMESkydiver 0]

Parents these days just KILL me. You can't keep score at a game because someone might get their feelings hurt. Little Johnny has to have mommy tuck him into bed or he gets upset, even though he's 12 years old...

Here's the deal. Our beautiful little girl is turning 10 years old this weekend. She wanted a pool and slumber party. I immediately start getting these kind of phone calls:

"Julia isn't ready to spend the night at anyone's house yet. She can go to the pool but then we are picking her up."

"Meagan isn't allowed to spend the night. We'll come get her after cake and ice cream."

"We don't let Margie stay overnight at anyone's house but family. We'll come get her around 9pm."

"Do you have gun control in your home? Do you have active smoke detectors and an emergency plan for fire?"



WTF is going on these days?! Have we become so pathetically pussified as a society in whole that a 10 year old can't have a slumber party? These are NOT people that have never met us. These kids are in Jaleesa's class, and we have met several times at school events.

That, or I really HOPE this isn't the deal, but do you think they look at our family different because Joe and I skydive & I fly? They've always said 'Wow, how wonderful! But you'd never catch me jumping out of a perfectly good airplane.' -Do you think they were just blowing smoke? Joe is in the military, but what's up with the whole gun control/safety inspection stuff? Do they think that all soldiers keep a loaded, unattended arsenal in our homes? We have special needs kids, for Pete's sake! Do they think it will 'catch'?

I just don't get it.

Edit to add: Yes I'm pretty rough on dz.com with my language and mannerism...but for Pete's sake, not in public. I'm on the dang PTA. (Just in case some of you were thinking "it's prolly because of your potty-mouth, Jaye!" )

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[cocheese 0]

Or how about the bus stops that are 2 houses apart ?
and the moms who block my little road so they can keep their 12 year old warm until the bus comes to within 300 feet of their driveway. The worse brat i ever saw was raised by parents who never used the word "NO" to the child. I said NO 100 times in 1/2 hour while there. Kid was insanely bad.

Happy Mother's Day Jaye. One of the coolest moms around.

[ACMESkydiver 0]

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Or how about the bus stops that are 2 houses apart ?
and the moms who block my little road so they can keep their 12 year old warm until the bus comes to within 300 feet of their driveway. The worse brat i ever saw was raised by parents who never used the word "NO" to the child. I said NO 100 times in 1/2 hour while there. Kid was insanely bad.

TELL me about it, man!

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Happy Mother's Day Jaye. One of the coolest moms around.

Oh thank you! I so needed a happy thought today!

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[Jumpah 0]

Great post!

[Douva 0]

I've said it before--Contemporary parents are obsessed with problems that don't really exist. Media hype has everyone believing the world is more dangerous than when they were kids, when in fact, it's actually safer.

I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

[BigSky 2]

Ya the world is safer from everything except kid's. Kids are growing up now without any idea about consequence. I dont think most parents even spank there kids anymore for fear of being thrown in jail.

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, th

[Akey 0]

What is gun control?

[BigSky 2]

What is kid control

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, th

[Brian425 0]

You are 100% right on everything except the questions about fire arms in the home. It is a valid question. If you have guns and store them properly, just show them the lock box and be done with it.

Now the rest is just silliness. My parents were great. They encouraged exploration and trying new things. They also knew that kids will fall down and somtimes get hurt. That is part of life. You play the game to the best of your ability. If you lost, you shook hands and lost with dignity. If you won, you were expected to act with the same dignity. I was never chastised for failure. I was chastised for how I dealt with failure.

Our first baby is due in September. I will many of the new safety "rules" (bicycle helmets, etc). I will not sit over him and protect him from ever getting hurt. He will fall down. He will eventually get hurt. He will sleepover at friends houses, and he will sleep in a tent in the back yard. We'll camp out and eat hot dogs off a stick we just broke off a tree.

Don't let it bother you. It is their children that are missing out. You made a kind and generous offer. If they chose not to accept it, it is their loss.

Now go buy lots of ice cream, chips, soda and everything else. Worry about making your daughter's B'Day one she will cherish.

B

The only time you should look down on someone is when you are offering them your hand.

[Airman1270 0]

...Now the rest is just silliness. My parents were great. They encouraged exploration and trying new things. They also knew that kids will fall down and somtimes get hurt. That is part of life...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


THANK YOU for a dose of common sense. As my kids are growing up, getting an occasional cut or scrape, etc., I always try to play down the event. Yes, I'm there and I care and I'm ready to help if needed, but I have so little patience for these parents who react with that damn "GASP!", followed by "OHH my baby, are you all right?..."delivered in that wimply panic voice.

My kid falls off her bike. I ask quietly "Are you okay?" She says something like "Yeah, but I think I cut my knee. Can I have a band-aid?" No panic. No freaking out. We fix it and she's back on the bike.

A couple of years ago, when Audrey was about four, she used to watch me shave and put shaving cream on her face. One day I left the bathroom for a moment and came back to find her standing there with the razor in her hand, two thin red parallel lines on her cheek, and a perplexed expression on her face. I calmly said "Oh, did you cut yourself?" She said "Yeah." I began to wash her face gently and asked "Does it sting?" "Yeah, a little." So we fixed it. She was fine.

I went into the kitchen and told my wife what had happened, emphasizing that she's okay and is not upset about it. When Nancy saw her face she did that damn gasping freak-out I was trying to avoid. Now Audrey is on the verge of tears, in response to Mom's reaction. Sigh.

Love your kids, punish them when necessary, don't be afraid of an occasional spank, and don't allow them to believe they're better than the other kids. They'll turn out just fine. One lesson I learned from my Mom is to make sure that you spend time in conversation that does not include giving non-stop advice, criticism, etc. There will be times when this is required, but don't condition them to anticipate that every interaction with you involves being told that they're wrong about (insert subject du jour here.)

Gotta go. We played frisbee and bouncy ball this afternoon. Now she wants to go home and ride bikes. Soon the day will come when she doesn't want to hang out with me, so I better enjoy it.

Cheers,
Jon S.

[Icon134 0]

I think I probably would have been able to go to a slumber party as a 10 year old... but of course... my parents were always pretty mellow about that sort of thing and my friends were fairly tame.

I don't see anything wrong with it...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[misskriss 0]

Yeah... my 12 year old had a friend whose mother came over and formally interviewed me. She wanted to come in and literally inspect my house before she let her daughter come over so they could work on a school project. I like to know where my child is going to and like to meet the parents as well but this was a little out there. I passed the test because she also let me take her to a movie with my daughter. I usually drop them off in front of the theater and then pick them back up when it's over. However, when I picked her up the mom said... "You are staying with them aren't you? I don't just drop off my daughter like other moms do." I was just like... uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh. I ended up going to the movie with them so the night wouldn't be ruined for the girls. My daughter has since made friends with girls who can be dropped off at the movies.

[hungarianchick 0]

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Contemporary parents are obsessed with problems that don't really exist

Exactly. Today every other kid appears to have ADD or ADHD and take Ritalin or other drugs for it. What the f$&^? Of course they can't pay attention because they spend their free time in front of the TV or computer instead of having a good run around outside with their friends rain or shine.

"I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food."

[skymama 35]

Please read up on facts before you start judging people like that, it's a real chemical imbalance of the brain. My daughter takes medication for her ADHD. She's 17 now and didn't even have access to a computer when she was young because we didn't have one in the house. She did 3 different sports, plays 2 instruments, was involved with Girl Scouts for many years (I was her leader) and holds a 3.0 average in school while also working 20 hours a week now. She asked us to stop taking the pills for a couple of years in Middle School, and we let her. She realized that she was having trouble in class and asked to start taking it again in High School.

My father was diagnosed at age 55. Many people here on the forums have made posts that they were diagnosed as an adult and wished that someone had realized their problem when they were young. Yes, some kids are misdiagnosed but there are many who will have this condition as a lifelong problem.

To address the thread now...I have no problem sending my kids to sleepovers, and they probably started around the age of 7. These parents are just being overly protective. I feel sorry for their kids.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[kbordson 8]

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These parents are just being overly protective. I feel sorry for their kids.

But... that protection is a double edged sword. It means the parents care, that they are aware of dangers in the shadows that they want to protect their children from, that they only hope that their children experience happy positive things. Those a good things. Things that a parent should want. I would much rather see a parent take interest than casual neglect. But I do agree that it should be tempered with some common sense and understanding that children do get hurt and that a golden future can not be guaranteed.

At any rate... Hope the party went well.

Karen

[Lindsey 0]

Quote

Quote

These parents are just being overly protective. I feel sorry for their kids.

But... that protection is a double edged sword. It means the parents care, that they are aware of dangers in the shadows that they want to protect their children from, that they only hope that their children experience happy positive things. Those a good things. Things that a parent should want. I would much rather see a parent take interest than casual neglect. But I do agree that it should be tempered with some common sense and understanding that children do get hurt and that a golden future can not be guaranteed.

At any rate... Hope the party went well.

Karen

I was talking to my residency director about this just the other day....about how I'm sometimes overly protective of my kid. I think, for me anyway, that it comes down to mother guilt. When I was growing up, all the moms were home. Mine let me do whatever I wanted as long as she didn't have to watch...lol. I, on the other hand (like you), work really long hours. When I'm home with Jay, he's my world. Sometimes I need to loosen the strings a bit....and I think it comes down to the fact that I feel guilty for not being there more. I wonder how much sense that makes....

linz

--
A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail

[hungarianchick 0]

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Please read up on facts before you start judging people like that, it's a real chemical imbalance of the brain.

Please read my post before you jump to conclusions.
Where exactly in my response did I mention that ADD and ADHD wasn't a real condition and where was I judgmental? All I said was that the number of children diagnosed with it today is simply mindbogling. Something has changed over the last decade or two and we can't completely blame it on brain chemistry.

Aside from all that I wish your daughter all the best.

"I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food."

[JENNR8R 0]

This thread makes me very thankful that my job as a Mom is over. My imperfect boys turned out great even with imperfect parents.

They had just better not make me into a grandmother.

What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy
ones? -- Monday.

[Squeak 17]

Times have changed a little when I was a wee littlen, if one of my mates got the measles or chicken pox, the mums would ring around and ORGANISE a slumber party for all of us. The theory was that we all get chicken pox at the same time and get it over with.
Run that by your moms group see wht they think

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[Conundrum 1]

**Not saying this is what your situation is** but,

I don't think it's so much that parents these days are "wussy" more than it is a lot of parents let their kids do whatever the fuck they want (yes even at 10) and some parents just don't want their children around (i.e. sleep overs) certain behavior. In this day and age, I don't blame parents for being extra protective.

That said, who knows why the parents don't want their children at your house, did you ask them if something was wrong?

[GogglesnTeeth 6]

Jaye, didn't you mean "Pussy Parents????"
Parents without the balls to let kids be kids!!!!!

I grew up black and blue, many bike wrecks, skateboarding accidents, Tree injuries, etc.
I agree, let kids be kids!!!!

Goggles and Teeth

"You fall like a greased safe!!!"

[kenz 0]

jaye your post was refreshing!!

though i am not a parent yet, it drives me CRAZY how on top of kids many parents are today - too bad they don't teach any respect or discipline while theyre up their kids asses -

i watched a couple of children last summer and i was so paranoid to know their every move because i would have to report back to their mother every 40 minutes when she checked in - it was more annoying than anything

the family i'm with now thank god has a better grip on letting kids be kids - they can play in their backyard and not have to worry about anything - no they don't live in the boonies nor do they have a fenced in yard -

its ridiculous how parents become so freakin paranoid - for god's sake let your kids be kids and socialize with kids and be able to let their hair down - theyre children this is their time to do it - and for all the whiners who got angry and said their parents were so mean - wait till your kids grow up and bitch about how you never let them be kids

edited to add - i understand how parents don't want anything to happen to their children but let them have some life experiences with other children

"life does throw curveballs sometimes but it doesn't mean we shouldn't still swing for the homerun" ~ me

[bert_man 0]

if your kids arent climbing to the tops of trees to shake bees nests or daring each other to eat mud tacos made in your leechfield, they just aren't living.

-Ghetto
"The reason death cannot frighten me, is because life has cured me of fear."
Web Design
Cleveland Skydiving

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

"Or how about the bus stops that are 2 houses apart ? "


This drives me CRAZY!!!!!

No wonder the kids these days are freakin fat!! No gym class, bus stops every thirty feet to let the kids off, soda in schools...which will be changing very soon, thank god...


Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

Both my kids have spent the night at friends houses...they started, I guess around 7 or 8....as long as I have met the parents...but I don't need to inspect the house....usually the kid that they are spending the night with has hung around my kid for awhile, so if the kid is basically a "good kid", it says something about the parents....Actually them spending the night at a friends house means a nice quiet evening for me!! WooHoo!! Though lately they have been spending nights at their friends house...directly across the street...so thats cool in a way...'cause I see them and can kinda keep an eye on them.
But hell...someone else feeding them and watching them??? I'm all for it!

Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.