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tomvailco

Worried Girlfriend

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Look at the up side! If it happens to you like it did to me, you get to give someone half your stuff



I've heard this joke:
"Why would I ever marry again? Next time, I'll just do it the easy way: I'll go out into the street, find some woman who hates my guts, and buy her a house."

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Your chick sounds like a drama queen. Can that crap, it's not worth it in the long run - doesn't matter how hot she is. The saying goes like this - It doesn't matter how hot a girl is, somewhere there's a dude who is tired of her shit.
"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

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Unless she has DD natural rack or bigger, disregard her comments and move on.;)


Well...I guess I won't be disregarding her comments....;)

OK, nice eyes and smile, where are the boobies ? :D
scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

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From DJL:
Your chick sounds like a drama queen. Can that crap, it's not worth it in the long run - doesn't matter how hot she is. The saying goes like this - It doesn't matter how hot a girl is, somewhere there's a dude who is tired of her shit.



I don't know that I can jump to the conclusion above, having never met her...but it does sound an awful lot like a few drama-happy girls I've been in relationships with.

And we're not talking skydiving - these girls would get upset over little things, like me going out to have a drink with my friends & not inviting them along. Every time, after stepping away from the emotions in the situation and looking at it objectively, I came to realize that no matter which way I cut it, the problem was them, not me. (This may not be the case with her, as skydiving is a bit more high risk than drinking with your pals...but it may. Some people can't take skydiving...and I don't fault them for that...but if skydiving means a lot to you, and it continues to freak her out, then maybe she's not the one you need (and maybe you're not the one she needs).

Anyway, my guess is this: if you opt to stay with her, it'll come to a point where she draws the line & presents the ultimatum: Me, or the sport. (Or alternately, she'll never present that ultimatum formally - she'll just give you little passive-aggressive hints of it).

Either way, you need to be able to recognize that moment when it comes, and you need to know which you'd choose.

I agree wholeheartedly with those who say that good relationships involve people trying to find ways to work it out. We're all different - and if she does something that really bugs you, you'll have to decide how much it bugs you. Enough to be done with the relationship? Or enough to grin and bear it, or find a compromise?

Whichever way you cut it, she may have a good reason for her phobia. But the real question is, after you've spent some good time talking to her about the risks and the likelihood of said risks, if she's still being this way...is that how you want to live your life? Feeling stressed about doing something you love every time you do it?

And if you do decide you've fine with feeling her hanging over your head every time you head to the DZ, keep in mind, a solid level of resentment in a relationship will ultimately be the death of that relationship, anyway...

Just my 2 cents. Good luck.
Signatures are the new black.

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I started dating this girl and it's been about 5 months now. she came down with me to do my level 6 & 7. On my level 7 she did a tandem and was fine about the whole thing. Now that I'm about to order my rig and going every weekend to earn my A all I hear from her is that she doesnt want me to skydive anymore. She still comes to the dropzone every time with me but last time she was crying as I was getting on the plane. Should I tell her to stop coming to the drop zone? What have others done in this situation??



If she can't respect and support the things you do for enjoyment (unless they're excessively dangerous or harmful to others), then why would you even want to be with her? I'd try to explain/prove to her that skydiving is relatively safe compared to just about any outdoor activity... If she doesn't get it and still wouldn't support it, then I'd get the hell out. NO person is too important to not follow YOUR dreams. Not to sound like an ass, but honestly, you'll be happier in the long run. If it wasn't skydiving it would be the next thing you wanted to try like, scuba, riding a motorcycle, or whatever might appear "scary" to her.
Gravity Waits for No One.

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All she has seen is a couple of cutaways, and heard stories of course.



You are listening to a bunch of skydivers give you advice that a couple of cutaways are no big deal. Well NO SHIT it's no big deal to a skydiver. :S It's HELL on a non-jumper that's been around the sport for all of -how many months- watching it from the ground!

Hell I HATE watching cutaways and I have been around for not many, but a few years...I watched one happen below me while I was deploying and it sucked. It signifies that something did not go as planned. When you participate in a sport that has you falling, 'not going as planned' can be a frightening thing, I don't care who you are. Watching it happen to someone else is more freaky to me, because you can't help the situation at all. :|

You should ask my husband what he was thinking as he was watching me spiral and cutaway from the ground. I've never seen the man so shook up, and he had WAY more jumps than I did...into places where the observers on the ground shoot you.

If she wasn't scared she wouldn't care about you.



Alright, all of that aside, if you are just boyfriend/girlfriend, and this is not serious, you need to decide whether jumping is more important than she is to you. If it is, nobody would blame you; you're not in a lifelong commitment.

If it isn't, those of us that have found someone worth hanging onto wouldn't blame you, either. :ph34r:
~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

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All she has seen is a couple of cutaways, and heard stories of course.



You are listening to a bunch of skydivers give you advice that a couple of cutaways are no big deal. Well NO SHIT it's no big deal to a skydiver. :S It's HELL on a non-jumper that's been around the sport for all of -how many months- watching it from the ground!

Hell I HATE watching cutaways and I have been around for not many, but a few years...I watched one happen below me while I was deploying and it sucked. It signifies that something did not go as planned. When you participate in a sport that has you falling, 'not going as planned' can be a frightening thing, I don't care who you are. Watching it happen to someone else is more freaky to me, because you can't help the situation at all. :|

You should ask my husband what he was thinking as he was watching me spiral and cutaway from the ground. I've never seen the man so shook up, and he had WAY more jumps than I did...into places where the observers on the ground shoot you.

If she wasn't scared she wouldn't care about you.



Alright, all of that aside, if you are just boyfriend/girlfriend, and this is not serious, you need to decide whether jumping is more important than she is to you. If it is, nobody would blame you; you're not in a lifelong commitment.

If it isn't, those of us that have found someone worth hanging onto wouldn't blame you, either. :ph34r:



Well said Jaye! You have such a good way of getting things across! :)

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I would no more take relationship advice from skydivers than I would take skydiving advice from a girlfriend or family relation. None of them have the slightest idea what they're talking about. Mutually exclusive, oil & water. Etcetera.

But you can always take MY advice because I ALWAYS know what I'm talking about. Your girlfriend's probably not going to last and that's really nothing against her either. It's just not going to work. You're just getting into the sport, you love it and there's no way you can work it out of your system. She's not going to come around and be happy with it, she will resent it worse and worse. Believe me, I once had a psycho girlfriend who stole my gear and threw it all over a road one time (fortunately it was all inexpensive - and tough - military surplus gear, this was over thirty years ago).

On the other hand if you quit for her sake, you'll resent her and hold it against her. either way, one or the other of you will hit the wall over it and end it.

Tell her you love her, but it's over.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

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Sparky
with some experience in this area i can say that in the end you only need to ask yourself one question: How long do you see yourself being involved in the sport and to what extent?

after being in a serious relationship for 3 years, I started skydiving. As soon as it became apparent to her that it was not a "phase" she began to object to it. It didnt last very long after that. I've also dealt with the irrational fears of my family members, and them telling me why I should'nt skydive anymore. I've done everything I could think of to ease their fears to no avail.

You will deal with this more and more if you keep skydiving, whether it's your friends, family, or girlfriend. You just need to find someone who understands, and unless they've experience skydiving the same way you have, they won't. *in most cases* I think many skydivers, at least those deeply committed to the sport, deal with different levels of isolation, which is why we are such a tight knit group. You just need to decide where your committments lie.

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