sharimcm 0 #1 February 13, 2008 I'm not sure exactly how I'm feeling. My grandmother had a stroke last Monday and of course was taken by ambulance to the hospital. She was admitted and we were told she'd be there for about 3-4 days. I was informed that when I got back from my Reno trip she would be in rehab, and she'll be able to be discharged after 10 days. Well, since she's been in rehab, she's slipped in to a comatose state for hours, her blood pressure dropped and the doctors have to work diligently to 'bring her back to the real world.' The latest ordeal, she 'woke up' and her speech was slurred worse than it was when she had the stroke in the first place. The doctors are still insisting she goes home after the 10 days. Why? If she's sick enough to be in the hospital and she keeps going in to these short comas, why can't they try to find the cause so it won't happen when she goes home? UGH! If it's not taking an extreme toll on my grandmother, it's taking it's toll on my father (his mother) and the rest of the family that lives close. At this point, I'm not sure what to do besides visit her and let her know she's cared for. I'm not sure if this is the end of the road for her, and I hate the feeling of the unknown... To make matters worse, her son (my uncle that I just visited) has bone cancer. I'm dreading the questions she'll ask me about my uncle. Should I tell her the truth or lie to make her feel better? Yeah, I'm lost. "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DangerRoo 0 #2 February 13, 2008 awh sweetie, I am not sure what to do either vibes and hugs (I.C.D#2 VP) ""I'm good with my purple penis straw" ~sky mama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kenz 0 #3 February 13, 2008 i wouldn't lie to her, however i would try really hard to not focus on those topics while you visit her... i am really sorry that you are going through this, and i hope that she stops suffering, and hopefully that will result in a turnaround... just try and enjoy her company as much as possible and let her know how much you love her.. that stuff helps people get through their darkest times - i will keep her and you and your family in my prayers"life does throw curveballs sometimes but it doesn't mean we shouldn't still swing for the homerun" ~ me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyserenity 0 #4 February 13, 2008 Hugs Shari....Sending major <<<<<>>>>>> your way.... Kisses honey...I like coconuts. You can break them open and they smell like ladies lying in the sun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #5 February 13, 2008 sorry to hear about that.. hope all goes well for your family! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
millertime24 8 #6 February 13, 2008 Do what you judge to be right. It isnt always going to be the easiest thing, but if you can jump out of a "perfectly good airplane" then I think you can probably handle this. As a health care worker myself, I totally understand how hard this sort of thing can be, but do what you think is right and you WILL get through it. Unfortunately everyone has tough times sooner or later. Muff #5048 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madhatter 0 #7 February 13, 2008 Tried typing some advice, but there's no easy answer. Just follow your heart & try to make sure every moment you're with her is a happy one, even though the tears.A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #8 February 13, 2008 I'm very sorry to hear about your grandmother. I wish there was something helpful I could say about why the doctors are doing things they way they are but I can't. Unfortunately sometimes doctors do things we don't understand (nothing against any of the doctors on here). I know that in the world of EMS people question our way of doing things constantly. I'm sure there's a method to their madness I just don't know what it is. Well that was a whole lot of typing for not really saying anything. Once again I'm very sorry to hear about your grandmother. Lots of vibes comming your way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ZeG 0 #9 February 13, 2008 Most important: Visit her everyday! I made that mistake on my grandpa who I really liked, he was after cancer surgery in the clinic and on a friday morning I THOUGHT about visiting him in the morning, but went to work and planned to visit him after. Well he died around noon and I hadn´t visited him for a week before that... That´s something I never really forgave myself. So go there EVERY day, you never know how long you will have her!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #10 February 13, 2008 QuoteMost important: Visit her everyday! I made that mistake on my grandpa who I really liked, he was after cancer surgery in the clinic and on a friday morning I THOUGHT about visiting him in the morning, but went to work and planned to visit him after. Well he died around noon and I hadn´t visited him for a week before that... That´s something I never really forgave myself. So go there EVERY day, you never know how long you will have her!! What he said. I meant to stop a visit my grandfather one Friday when he'd eaten real food and gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time in a month. I was headed out of town for the weekend to see friends and passed the hospital about an hour later than I planned...so I figured I'd stop on my way back Sunday. He deteriorated suddenly that night and died very early Saturday morning. Driving past the hospital where his body was on my way home after my grandmother called sucked, and 15 years later I still can't think of him without wishing I'd stopped to see him that one last time. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
goofyjumper 0 #11 February 13, 2008 You need to tell her. I dreaded the call I had to make to Lee's parents when he passed, but I knew I had to do it. I am sorry about your grandma.----------------- I love and Miss you so much Honey! Orfun #3 ~ Darla Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #12 February 13, 2008 QuoteThe doctors are still insisting she goes home after the 10 days. Why? Simple answer to that is insurance. When she was accepted in to the rehab hosptial, she was pre-certed for 10 days. Insurance wont pay for her to be there longer than that, for this admission anyway. If shes not well enough to go home after 10 days, odds are, her MD will re-admit her to the hospital, where they can go through the whole process of putting her back in rehab again. Don't worry so much about that part. She wont be sent home until shes out of the woods. Hope she gets well soon. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sharimcm 0 #13 February 13, 2008 I visited her every day until I left for Reno (which was Wednesday of last week). I got back from Phoenix yesterday (it was unplanned to be in Phoenix, but I begged the Southwest agent to let me stay overnight to visit my uncle), and planned to go to the hospital tonight after work. My parents have been there every day, once or twice at least to see her. My sister goes when she feels like it, which hasn't been much. The first night she was in the hospital, she kept asking for me constantly. When I got there, she thanked me for saving her life (I called the ambulance). After seeing her go through this whole thing, if she passes, I'm going to feel like shit for making her go to the hospital when she kept refusing she didn't need help and I made her go anyway. *sigh* I will continue to visit as long as she's there. She's the only grandparent I have left, and now that she's in the same city (she lives with my parents), I have no excuse (not that I was making any) not to see her. I feel helpless around her, just like I did when I was with my uncle yesterday. I see both of them (my granmother and uncle) slipping away, and there's nothing I can do but support them. "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #14 February 13, 2008 Hugs, Kisses and Vibes sweetie! Things like this are always hard to deal with, I agree, I would not lie to her if she asks about your uncle. Sending prays and guidance your way! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RevJim 0 #15 February 13, 2008 Like you usually not asking for them dear, I usually don't give them, but this is another story. Lots of <<<>>> from me, and I wanted to let you know your entire family is in my prayers.It's your life, live it! Karma RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #16 February 13, 2008 as you, i visited my grandma quite often when she was in rehab. and when she was most likely to die. she eventually did, but only seeing the sparks in her eyes when i turned up, made up for the pain i felt that she "slipped away". go on girl, you're doing the right thing, and you'll feel better about it when all the grieving's done..“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sharimcm 0 #17 February 13, 2008 To add to all the stress I'm already under, my sister just told me she was pregnant. So, not only do I have two relatives near death, I'm still trying to help my pregnant sister plan her wedding. When will it end? My blood pressure is rising by the second. Sorry for the rants, I'm going through a mental breakdown right about now... "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #18 February 13, 2008 Shari, you're under a lot of stress. Try to take one moment at a time. Visit your grandma as much as possible and throw all guilt out the window. You have nothing to feel guilty about. In regard to telling her about your uncle, why don't you ask your dad or your uncle how they want you to handle it. In the meantime you're all in my prayers. Hang in there, Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #19 February 14, 2008 Awe, hon....*hugs* I wish it was closer to me being in Texas so I could help you relieve some stress. You want someone to just listen - or even talk to - give me a call. If I'm not immediately available, I'll call you back the second I can. Love ya, hon.Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
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