Who was your favorite DZ.com troll?

[CSpenceFLY 1]

You know we have had some good one over the years. Who was your favorite?

[Brains 2]

peppermint was by far the best!!

Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you.

[Thanatos340 1]

Funks is the one I miss the most. Followed closely by Artist Callidian (Or whatever his name was).

Oh and WhtashisFaces MOM. That one was Funny too.

[livendive 8]

Quote

Funks is the one I miss the most. Followed closely by Artist Callidian (Or whatever his name was).

Oh and WhtashisFaces MOM. That one was Funny too.

All of those were pretty funny. Not quite a troll, but similarly funny, was adamjenner (I think...the guy who managed pro wrestlers)

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[flyangel2 2]

I don't have time right now to do the search, maybe you can. It was about a gal that had cancer and set up a scam to get a free tandem. But, before the Tandem could happen, she died!


Peppermint was a winner.

What about trolls that we know are real people?

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey

[skybytch 259]

No contest.

Alienangel.

[happythoughts 0]

LostOne. He posted pics of a girl and claimed that it was him. This started a great thread and it ran on for a while.

The hilarious part was the guys who were hitting on him.

Probably a 12yo guy, funny.

Too many trolls are just angry little twits who got wedgies under the theory of Summary Punishment.

[normiss 644]

Funks...
every time, no matter what the name was.

[BillyVance 34]

What about Naughtywife? Yeah, she was very brief and only started one thread, but that was funny.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[livendive 8]

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LostOne. He posted pics of a girl and claimed that it was him. This started a great thread and it ran on for a while.

The hilarious part was the guys who were hitting on him.

Probably a 12yo guy, funny.

Not the only cross-gendered troll, and you're right...those ones were funny.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[Thanatos340 1]

Chromeboy could be entertaining as well.

[Andrewwhyte 1]

Tunaplanet was the one who got under my skin the most.

[BillyVance 34]

Quote

Chromeboy could be entertaining as well.

So was nippleboy, or nipplboy, though I think he may have started on rec.skydiving... been a long while though

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Nightingale 0]

Quote

I don't have time right now to do the search, maybe you can. It was about a gal that had cancer and set up a scam to get a free tandem. But, before the Tandem could happen, she died!

That was JackieOhs and MissImperfect, I think...

[freefallfreak 0]

Spectre230?? I think that was his "name".

TripleF

"Upon seeing the shadow of a pigeon, one must resist the urge to look up."

[Thanatos340 1]

From: [email protected] (NippLBoy)
Subject: Nipple Boy on INSTANT DOWNPLANE safety
Date: 1995/09/12
Message-ID: <[email protected]>#1/1
sender: [email protected]
organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
reply-to: [email protected] (NippLBoy)
newsgroups: rec.skydiving

Safely Performing an Instant Downplane

Well, it feels good to be back skydiving after my last injury due to my
AAD. I took the cypress out myself and had a hell of a time cramming my
reserve back in the container. That is better than paying a rigger.
Since I needed to do a hop-and-pop for recurrency, my friend and I
decided to so an instant downplane. We needed compatible canopies so we
borrowed our jumpmaster's stiletto 120 and saber 120. Because these are
high performance canopies, we figured we had to tie ourselves together in
order to hold a downplane. In the airplane, I tied my friend's feet to my
leg straps. We exited a Mr. Bill around 2500 feet where I deployed my
canopy first. Luckily my friend was not wearing a helmet because when I
drug him out on exit, he scraped and banged his head against the door.
Had he been wearing a helmet, his head would probably have gotten caught
in the door with me tied to his feet. We went off tumbling so I deployed
my saber before we got too much air speed. We had a beautiful opening
despite our instability. My friend then pulled out his canopy he free
packed with no slider for the instant downplane. I am not quite sure how
or why, but his canopy spun up into mine and we wrapped. Luckily we were
still above 1500 feet so he cut his canopy away and it managed to free
itself from my canopy. Since I figured out how to pack the reserve on my
rig, I told him I would pack his reserve if he used it for the instant
down plane. He then deployed his reserve and it opened. Luckily, it was
a PD 126 so we were still somewhat compatible. This time we went into an
awesome downplane. There was no way we could have held on without being
tied together. The tension in the rope and our vertical speed was
incredible! At around 500 feet, my friend pulled out his knife to cut the
rope, but the idiot dropped it! Not knowing how to land a downplane, I
cut away my main. My friend and I were screaming out of the sky under his
reserve. Fortunately my friend flew over to a pond next to our DZ where
we safely landed. It was a great jump and I learned a lot from it. In
summary I learned...

1) Each jumper should have a hook knife or have enough to share.
2) Make the connecting rope releasable.
3) Use a reserve that is compatible with your main.
4) Don't use helmets when there is a chance you may get hung up.
5) Always consult your jumpmasters before each jump.
6) Allow plenty of altitude for such maneuvers (i.e. 2500 ft).


Nipple Boy
A-19820

"Safety First! Fun Forever!"

[bozo 0]

Nipplboy was an epic troll....hands down.

bozo
Pain is fleeting. Glory lasts forever. Chicks dig scars.

[BillyVance 34]

Ahhhh good memories!

There was another great post by nipplboy with part of it about him funnelling beneath a big way, then slowly waving off as if to pull, and everybody on the big way scrambles to get the fuck out of the way in panic... hysterical!

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[livendive 8]

Quote

Ahhhh good memories!

There was another great post by nipplboy with part of it about him funnelling beneath a big way, then slowly waving off as if to pull, and everybody on the big way scrambles to get the fuck out of the way in panic... hysterical!

Quote

Yes! It was me that got hurt in Florida and what I learned from my ordeal
is to always follow my gut instincts. I knew AAD's are very dangerous,
but I borrowed a rig that had an AAD and I used it anyway.


We just took off down the runway and were on our way to altitude. To be
funny, I told my jumpmaster to turn on the AAD. That was my mistake.


I was front float on the trail plane of a formation load. It was a good
thing that I was a little drunk because the dive was lousy from the
beginning. Our base funneled and a few of the divers went low. I knew
the dive was wasted so I flew under the formation to do free style where
every one could see me. One of my jumpmasters smiled at me and gestured
for me to pull under the formation. So for a joke, I went on my belly,
did a nice big slow wave off and pulled under the formation. The last
thing I remember before getting into the ambulance was very funny. Every
one looked so surprised and panicked as they turned to track away from me.
Evidently, during my deployment one of the jumpers hit me, broke most of
my lines, and knocked me unconscious.


I streamered unconscious for over 20 seconds. I was just about to regain
consciousness when the damn AAD fired. The whack of the reserve opening
is probably what kept me unconscious. After a few seconds, my trailing
main tangled with power lines and sent me into the ground very hard. If I
did not have that stupid AAD, I could have regained consciousness, cut the
main away, pulled my reserve, and been fine.


So because of my AAD, I now have a few broken ribs, a broken foot, and a
broken pelvis. I will not use an AAD even as a joke any more.


Nipple Boy
"Safety First! Fun Forever!"

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[Thanatos340 1]

A couple other Classics:

Quote

From: [email protected] (NippLBoy)
Subject: Why AAD's are DANGEROUS!!
Date: 1995/04/13
Message-ID: #1/1
sender: [email protected]
organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
reply-to: [email protected] (NippLBoy)
newsgroups: rec.skydiving

Why AAD's ARE Dangerous!

Recently, a group of us planned to do a night big way to break off at 4000
feet just above the storm clouds. The dive went great, even the two way
my friend and I normally do with the remaining altitude. The two way was
planned to break high around 1000 feet to allow sufficient altitude to
build a two-stack in the adverse weather conditions. Because this was my
first jump with my new AAD I owed the drop zone a case of beer which my
friend and I drank the beer before the jump. Since I had a few in me, I
forgot about my newly installed Cypres. As I tracked away, I suddenly
found myselft under my reserve just as I went to throw out my pilot chute.
Luckily I managed to hold onto it and safely stowed it behind my
container. This further endangered me when I docked on my friend. The
flight characteristics of our canopies were very different. My reserve
about wrapped around his lines! I ended up spraining my ankle because my
reserve collapsed after brushing power lines my friend and I flew into due
to the fog.

If a worse incident would have occured, my AAD would have been totally
responsible. It was the thorough instruction of my jumpmasters on
tracking and reserve CRW that saved me from even worse injuries. The very
next day, I sold my AAD. I also started wearing a hook knife that my
friend or I could use in the event of a wrap.

I recommend that AAD's be made illegal as they may be responsible for more
incidents than saves.

Nipple Boy
A-19820

"Safety First! Fun Forever!"

Quote

From: [email protected] (NippLBoy)
Subject: NIPPLE BOY, jumpmaster?
Date: 1995/12/05
Message-ID: #1/1
sender: [email protected]
organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
reply-to: [email protected] (NippLBoy)
newsgroups: rec.skydiving

Wow,

Since I am nearing 100 jumps, my jumpmasters let me take a first time
static line student. Her name was Erin, and boy was she hot! My dropzone
has a quick questionnaire we give all first timers before they jump. I
wouldn't have wasted her time, but I wanted to stare at her while she
filled it out. I recommend this same questionnaire to all dropzones.

1) What is your name?
2) Have you made any previous skydives?
3) Have you had any hard alcohol or imported beers in the last 24 hours?
4) Are you sick?
5) Do you know what a ripcord is?
6) Are you scared to jump?
7) Do you think you will chicken out?
8) Have you ever played Russian roulette?
9) Describe any skydiving nightmares you may have had.
10) Who is your benefactor.

She filled it out and man was she beautiful. My jumpmasters said
since she knew what a ripcord was and probably wouldn't chicken out, she
didn't need much training. That was great because I wasn't totally sure
what to tell her anyway. I took her outside and showed her the airplane,
a Cesna 182. We had plenty of time because the pilot was still passed out
from partying with us the night before. I told her to do a somersault and
said "If you land hard, just do that." My drop zone has a special harness
that we can hang the students from to practice emergency procedures. I
didn't feel this was necessary, but we had lots of time and she was really
cute. I hung her up an showed her the standard peel-punch-pull technique.
To test her, I called both my jumpmasters over. At the same time, we all
started screaming "MALFUNCTION!!! YOU DUMB B-TCH!!! YOU ARE GOING TO
DIE!!! DO SOMETHING!!! YOU'RE GOING IN!!!" She didn't pull a single
handle and started to cry. I felt bad and took her out of the harness.
Then we just sat around until our lazy pilot woke up. I asked her stuff
about her boyfriend and where she went to highschool.
Finally our pilot was ready to go. I went and got her rig. I
dressed her in her jump suit, very slowly. My god was she awesome
looking. Then I put the rig on her. She noticed that there was a bunch
of her canopy sticking out from the flaps. I assured that was normal. I
had packed it myself. I couldn't find the bag with the helmets, radios,
and altimeters. My jumpmasters told me just to let her out around 1000 ft
so that stuff really wouldn't matter. On the way out to the airplane I
noticed a rope s-folded across the back of her rig. I had never seen
this. I was too embarrassed to ask what it was. We got in the airplane.
On our way to altitude, I figured out that the long rope was acting like a
ripcord. Now I was confident. The pilot had asked me what the winds
were. I remembered they were out of the east yesterday so we took that
jumprun. She was shaking really bad in the airplane, I guess very
scared. I had no idea how to calm her down so I just kept staring at her
chest. The pilot opened the door and I hooked the end of her rope to my
leg strap. I told her to get out and jump. I guess the rig was too heavy
for her because she didn't move. I lifted her up and pushed her out of
the door. The rope about pulled me out of the airplane with her, but I
held on. There has to be a better system for that. I packed her a real
slow comfortable opening. It opened beautifully. I pulled the rope into
the Cesna and I got out.
Everything went very smooth. My jumpmasters were very proud and I
was happy. This was a very rewarding experience and I do plan to get my
jumpmaster rating soon.

Safety First! Fun Forever!
Nipple Boy

Last time I saw Nipple Boy, The bouncers from the Pink Pny were opening the Door with his head as they tossed him out after he had passed out face first into a strippers ass.

[BillyVance 34]

Here's another one!

Quote

This last weekend, we built a 16-way diamond at night, but my jumpmasters say it doesn't count as a record because we did not do the dive as planned.
We weren't even planning on doing a jump. The day was over early due to weather so we were just partying our asses off. It was about to break up around midnight when my jumpmasters suggested doing the jump. I about pissed myself watching everyone try to put on their rigs. My jumpmasters sent one of the new students to pin our lighted windsock in the wrong direction.
The pilot took us up to 17,000ft. so we would have more time to build the formation. We circled for a long time looking for a hole, but never really found one. The jump was actually pretty miserable because we got caught in rain. I think that is why our dive was so shaky. The 9-way base built great, but then the confusion started. Our row four wing on the left side never showed. We found out later, he put on his free fall rig and didn't notice until he was under canopy. One of my jumpmasters took the slot and I flew in to lock him up. Yeeha!! It was shaky, but the 15 way built. I didn't think we were going to get 16. Our cameraman closed the 16-way somewhere just under 2,000ft. Yahoo!! A NEW WORLD RECORD!!!!. Of course we were nowhere near the airport. Only one of us made it back, but he broke is ankle from a downwind landing. I guess the windsock fooled him. Everyone else was fine.
Since several of the slots were swapped around because of our wing that had to abort, the dive was not executed as we planned. My jumpmasters say that for a record, everyone must be in their planned slots. It was at least an unofficial world record and hell a good time! Thanks guys and gals!!

Nipple Boy
"Safety First! Fun Forever!"

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[BillyVance 34]

Another one:

Quote

My jumpmasters told me to take out my reserve and put in a 97 stiletto. It has a small pack volume and is capable of high wing loading. I had a bitch of time getting that canopy in there, but I feel much better now. I don't use the reserve much anyway. I have over fifty jumps and only three reserve rides. My jumpmasters say that is pretty good.

Nipple Boy
A-19820

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[BillyVance 34]

And this one:

Quote

Why packing doesn't matter.

First, I would like to thank my jumpmasters for informing me on the insignificance of packing. I have seen so many other students worry about this, like it was important. Now I am on sort of a crusade to alleviate other beginners like me of any such concerns. I show them how messy I can pack my rig with lines and canopy all over the place. Usually I can't even get my zero-p parachute all the way into the rig. The lines and canopy hang out between the flaps and it still opens fine. I have started packing all their rigs as sloppy and quick as I can to help them get over their "gear fear." Most of them pack the same way now and thank me for comforting them. My jumpmasters warn all the beginners not to do gear checks because it will just cause them to become paranoid. Skydiving should be fun and relaxing for everyone. Any added nervousness to new jumpers will make them more dangerous to themselves and others.
The more we do to demonstrate the reliability of the skydiving equipment, the more confident new jumpers will feel. Once, one of my jumpmasters slid a thin metal rod through my reserve closing loop and didn't tell me until I was done jumping for the day. My friend and I had logged four CRW jumps and a "horny-gorilla". All of our pack jobs really looked scary too. I am much more confident of my equipment now.
Last weekend my jumpmasters let me repack all the tandem reserves. I had never even seen a reserve packed before, but I managed to cram them in there somehow. Possibly this weekend, one of the tandem instructors will intentionally cut away so that they can test my pack job. I am sure after all is said and done, we will all be much more comfortable with our gear.
So just as a recommendation to all the jumpmasters and instructors out there, please inform all your students that packing really doesn't matter. It will make them much more comfortable with their gear and a better skydiver in the long run. Also, warn against gear checks until they get at least an A license.


Nipple Boy
A-19820

Would nipplboy mind if somebody published a book of his stories?

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[BillyVance 34]

I think this is one of the better ones, probably the best one I've re-posted here.

Quote

This weekend I decided to try to dock on a tandem that my jumpmaster was doing, so I borrowed his stiletto which was a bit bigger than mine. I figured I would need it. We got to altitude pretty quick. I had to estimate where we were because someone spilled beer on our GPS at lunch and I couldn't see through the cloud layer. The tandem jumped and I chased. There was an amazing amount of tension in the drogue chute bridal. It felt like a stiff metal rod. It was cool because I could climb up and down easily from my jumpmaster to the drogue chute. At around 4000 ft, I got off and deployed so that the passenger could watch my deployment. The tandem pulled a little high and was under canopy by 3000 ft so we would had plenty of time for me to dock and try to land the stack. I front-risered all the way down to them, but had way too much forward speed. My canopy wrapped around the tandem. It was funny because I could here the tandem passenger screaming. I hate it when girls scream like that. My canopy was somehow caught between my jumpmaster and the passenger. My jumpmaster could not get clear so he told me to cut away. I cut away and deployed my reserve. I landed in a small field about five miles from the DZ because of the spot. I was laughing so hard because I could still here her screaming. I couldn't see them until they were below the clouds and about to land. It was a fun jump. I never found my freebag, but my jumpmaster managed to hold onto my canopy. A car stopped to give me a ride so I didn't look for the tandem. My jumpmaster got back before I did and she left right away. If anyone knows who she is, let me know. Usually I get girls' phone numbers off of the waivers, but she didn't fill one out. She was very cute and I would really like to meet her. If anyone knows who she is, please e-mail me.

Blue Skies!


Nipple Boy

Edited to add: What's really funny are some of the replies to these posts as some people think he's being serious!

Why AADs Are Dangerous!

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[DJL 232]

CRAZYTHOMAS was one of my favorites. He specialized in stirring up shit. ThunderCat was also great but I think they took away his computer rights at the looney bin.

"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher