what's important in a relationship?

[virgin-burner 1]

recent threads, private discussions and other things brought up this question. i sure have my own ideas, but i'd like to know what the community thinks.

what do you feel makes a relationship work?

what do people need to "invest", what qualities should partners posses (besides sammich-making and beer bringing )?

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[lilDevil 2]

Love, Loyalty, trust, openness and a good root doesn't go amiss either

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" Cant keep a good woman down "
Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

[skyh2omedic 0]

In my opinion in order to have a successful relationship these three things must be present.
1. Love
2. Trust
3. Respect
Anyone of these missing and the relationship will fail.

"You can't teach what you don't know and you can't lead where you won't go"

[virgin-burner 1]

you dont mean the root of all evil, do ye'!?

love, trust, respect is a given. otherwise people probably dont go into a relationship in the first place. maybe i should of asked the question differently.

let me put it this way: how should a relationship be lived.

i know people that dont really seem to care for the other, meaning, they let 'em do and dont do whatever they want, justifying it by saying: oh, they're self-reliant, what do i care. others tend to do anything for their SO. some have zero tolerance and flip by the slightest mistake, others dont even bother with major fuck ups and say: "i love him/her anyway!". for some, the incompletness of the other's just as appealing as things that are called good qualities..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[lilDevil 2]

Well the love trust honesty bit is a given to most of us !

Lil D has a new SO because the last one couldnt be trusted. And wow am I happy total devotion from both sides

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" Cant keep a good woman down "
Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

[LuckyMcSwervy 0]

1. Common interests help, I think. (there's nothing like someone giving you shit on a Saturday if you want to go golfing, skydiving, etc. and the other wants go shopping together, winefests, etc.). Alone time is good, but when you think you'll spend 24/7 together when you don't have common interests, could cause some tension.

2. Financial equality. (My last relationship ended because I was getting VERY resentful paying for the majority of the "couples" stuff - vacations, etc.) I could go on and on and on with this one.

3, Similar family backgrounds. Who else understands Italian families better than another Roman Catholic Italian?

Always be kinder than you feel.

[bluepill 0]

Depends on what the expectation of the relationship is:-

Long term (everlasting)

Medium term? (may go somewhere but both not really committed)

Short term? (short passionate flings)

I think there are fundamental differences in what makes each one work. Particularly a long term relationship.

BP

[wrightskyguy 1]

As the wise Mike Meyers once said: "I know alot of people say a good sense of humor is most important, but I've got to go with breast size".

John Wright

World's most beloved skydiver

[nanook 1]

compatability, respect, and economic comfortability.

Love should be automatic and second nature to the relationship. It shouldn't be the "important" part, it should be the foundation; the thing to fall back on when things go to hell. Disagreements, money issues, ect. ect. Whoever said "all you need is love" is the person who is still searching for it.

Also, Steak and Knobber Fridays.

_____________________________

"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

[bluepill 0]

"Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions." - Woody Allen

BP

[virgin-burner 1]

i dont know if there's such a thing as everlasting, if you're in your teens or twenties, short or midterm is alright, but once you turn 30+, you're probably longing for a more longterm relationship. well, i know i am. i'm kinda fed up with just a good (or not so) f**k.

it'd be nice to have a family and kids some time, havent given it much thought due to lack of a woman that i'd contemplate it with. i know i like kids. and i believe i'd make a reasonable dad.

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[virgin-burner 1]

Quote

As the wise Mike Meyers once said: "I know alot of people say a good sense of humor is most important, but I've got to go with breast size".

can i have that with fries!?

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[virgin-burner 1]

Quote

compatability, respect, and economic comfortability.

....

Also, Steak and Knobber Fridays.

how would you define compatibility? some people feel not "whole" without a/their partner. i feel you should be content with yourself before entering a long lasting relationship.

i had to edit for the beer and sammiches in my first post, but i knew i forgot something. thanks for reminding me!

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[airtwardo 6]

Quote

recent threads, private discussions and other things brought up this question. i sure have my own ideas, but i'd like to know what the community thinks.

what do you feel makes a relationship work?

what do people need to "invest", what qualities should partners posses (besides sammich-making and beer bringing )?

All right, listen to me.

You pull up right where she is, right?

You go to get out of the car and you lock both doors.

Then get out of the car, and you walk over to her, and bring her over to the car.

Take out the key, put it in the lock, open the door for her, and you let her get in.

Then you close the door for her.

You walk around the back of the car, and you look through the rear window.

If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so you could get in, dump her.





Just like that?






Listen to me kid, if she doesn't reach over and lift up that button, so you could get in, that means she's a selfish broad, and all you've seen is the tip of the iceberg.


You dump her, and you dump her fast.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[virgin-burner 1]

forget about the custom-rig then, as i'd need a new car for that, mine doesnt have buttons!

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[bluepill 0]

Ok well I think the most important things are:

A willingness to love and be loved.
Flexibility to meet, adapt and overcome challenges together.
Values and beliefs that are either similar or at least compliments a partners values and beliefs.
Being trusting and trustworthy.
Being prepared to work at creating a successful and mutually rewarding relationship on all levels (financially, spiritually etc)

The point is, NO relationship is easy. They always take hard work to make them truly work and you have to both be prepared to do that hard work. Rather than live in a fantasy that it will all be great and that relationship should not need work. They do, they always do.

BP

[virgin-burner 1]

Quote

Ok well I think the most important things are:

A willingness to love and be loved.
Flexibility to meet, adapt and overcome challenges together.
Values and beliefs that are either similar or at least compliments a partners values and beliefs.
Being trusting and trustworthy.
Being prepared to work at creating a successful and mutually rewarding relationship on all levels (financially, spiritually etc)

The point is, NO relationship is easy. They always take hard work to make them truly work and you have to both be prepared to do that hard work. Rather than live in a fantasy that it will all be great and that relationship should not need work. They do, they always do.

BP

that pretty much sums it up for me too, maybe put in a little emotionally (rewarding), making love on any given day. or two, three times..
and yea, to keep on nagging one's ear about how life's shit and everything, doesnt really help. for me it's a lot about quality time, too. you know, surpise your partner, do nice things for them, spoil them a little every now and then.. a (serious) relationship should be kind of a safe haven. a place where you return to, to be who you truly are. and where one's being welcomed with open arms.

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[TAXIWAY 0]

Sex is by far the most important. lol

[cjsgrlsx3 0]

Communication, communication, communication! And alot of respect!

[Bolas 5]

(Putting my man card in jeopardy)

Quote

There is no Shangra La. Every relationship is messed up. What makes it perfect is if you still want to be there when things really suck. - Carla on Scrubs

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[Unstable 8]

A LOT of really good points here. I gotta say, sometimes it's cool to see the serious side of skydivers and their personal lives. Granted, I've never been married, and right now the prospects arn't looking too hot for ol' Unstables, but I have learend one thing I believe is true about Relationships.

Can I add my own word in? The 4-letter "w" word. Work.

After the Honeymoon phase is over, couples find their differences and the real Joys, and tough parts of being in a committed relationship come out. They take work. Active listening, continuously going outside your comfort zone for the other partner, doing things you would do and swallowing your pride on a daily basis. Look at happy couples - they are all happy because that's how they choose to live and they put the effort in make it that way.

After the honeymoon pha

=========Shaun ==========

[lawrocket 3]

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Communication, communication, communication! And alot of respect!

Exactly. If you can't communicate anymore, then "relationship" doesn't exist. Relationships are all about how you communicate.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[virgin-burner 1]

i like how we still take the piss out of things, even when it's serious..
besides the fact, evolving emotionally and maybe even spiritually. if i compare myself to say a year ago, or two years, or ten.. i guess i'm still kinda the same person, but i can clearly make out in where i'm different. where my boundaries are.

as in relationships, sometimes people outgrow them. some choose to put up with things even when they're unhappy. be it for comfort or other reasons. sometimes there's a co-dependancy. not very healthy, and then its gonna end in desaster.

people that jump from relationship to relationship, always developing the same patterns, choosing the same type of partner, ending up with the same type of problems, instead of taking a break, re-value their choices and finally realising what went wrong and what they really need. i know i did. and it took me a considerable amout of time to get that. i guess what i want to say is, relationships do not only take work on their own, people also need to work on themselves.

and as painful and frustrating that will be at times, the outcome should be worth it. i'm getting a little off-topic here now..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[virgin-burner 1]

Quote

Quote

Communication, communication, communication! And alot of respect!

Exactly. If you can't communicate anymore, then "relationship" doesn't exist. Relationships are all about how you communicate.

i dont know if i can agree 100% with that statement. ever had a girlfriend that you talked to about things, and talked and talked and talked. with no results!?

i agree that communication is key for a successful relationship. i'm a little surprised no-one threw in the word understanding in that context. awareness is another one.

i should have a drink or two, i'm getting way to serious now..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[bluepill 0]

Quote

A LOT of really good points here. I gotta say, sometimes it's cool to see the serious side of skydivers and their personal lives. Granted, I've never been married, and right now the prospects arn't looking too hot for ol' Unstables, but I have learend one thing I believe is true about Relationships.

Can I add my own word in? The 4-letter "w" word. Work.

phewwww......

I thought you were gonna say Wank

BP