jbrinkman 0 #1 May 26, 2009 about 2 months ago i decided to fly myself into the ground. luckily im okay and got away with only a broken femur....its been about 2 months and im recovering okay i guess. i can get around pretty well on one crutch and walk with a limp. knee and quads arent strong yet. Anwyays, now for whats been on my mind.... I try to go out every once in a while. i goto the gym everyday, hit a bar here and there and this weekend went to a club in vegas. everywhere i go i meet new people and they ask the same damn question"WHAT HAPPENED?". im so sick of telling people i was skydiving. first it gets really old trying to tell a whuffo what happened especially without giving the sport a bad name. im always sure to tell them i was trying to be cool and it was not an equipment error. even if i meet an attractive woman, i hate telling the story. im somewhat of a modest guy and bragging about skydiving isnt something i need t o do do in order to hook up with someone. i dont even like talking about jumping because the way i see it, if someone wants to do it, theyll work up the balls to do it themselves like we all did. ok now im going off. anyways, through my encounters, i always meet one bitter female or some jealous dude that accuse me of faking my injury for the sake of attention. Im appalled that anyone would have the nerve to think that. The men/women that think that seriously must have something wrong with them because i absolutely love carrying around a crutch for hours at a time and limping all over the place. im a handsome interesting enough guy to where i dont need a crutch start talking to girls. so at vegas, this trick grabs me from behind and then says , " hey nice prop" Im like wtf?!?! i got pretty irritated and exchanged a few words and eventually blew her off. yeah she was cute but she was a major beotch. I try not to tell people how i broke myself off. i avoid it for my sanity but every now and then someone asks so at this point im making up stories for my amusement. ive come up with a few that are obviously not true but it makes the whole thing entertaining for me. So if anyone has is is going through the same thing, what would/do/did you do? Or if ou just want to give me any ideas for cool stories i could tell thanks for listening to me rantLive Love Learn FLY Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 3 #2 May 26, 2009 FADE IN: INT. BAR - NIGHT BRINKMAN, mid-20s, limps in with the aid of a crutch. A GIRL spots him. GIRL What happened? BRINKMAN I broke my leg. GIRL Oh! That's horrible! How? BRINKMAN It came into contact with the ground at high speed. GIRL Oh. What were you doing? BRINKMAN I was approaching the ground at high speed. GIRL No silly! I mean why were you going at high speed? BRINKMAN Are you familiar with the gravitational constant of 32 feet per second per second? GIRL Uh . . . BRINKMAN Hey, you seem exactly bright enough. Wanna fuck?quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #3 May 26, 2009 QuoteFADE IN: INT. BAR - NIGHT BRINKMAN, mid-20s, limps in with the aid of a crutch. A GIRL spots him. GIRL What happened? BRINKMAN I broke my leg. GIRL Oh! That's horrible! How? BRINKMAN I broke it tryin' to kick myself in the ass for not asking you earlier. GIRL Oh... What were you going to ask me? BRINKMAN Wanna fuck? ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 3 #4 May 26, 2009 Well, if you're going to just cut to the chase, cut to the chase. FADE IN: INT. BAR - NIGHT BRINKMAN, mid-20s, limps in with the aid of a crutch. A GIRL spots him. GIRL What happened? BRINKMAN I'll tell ya afterwards during "cuddle time." Wanna fuck? Me, personally, I needed the foreplay.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jbrinkman 0 #5 May 26, 2009 LOL, next time i go out. theres so many different ways i can go with that.Live Love Learn FLY Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #6 May 26, 2009 Write a brief story and diagram of what happened. Print several copies. Hand them to anyone who asks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MikeJD 0 #7 May 26, 2009 Quote im a handsome interesting enough guy to where i dont need a crutch start talking to girls. I'm an ugly, boring guy. If you're not using that crutch, can I borrow it for a while? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #8 May 26, 2009 Quote Quote im a handsome interesting enough guy to where i dont need a crutch start talking to girls. I'm an ugly, boring guy. If you're not using that crutch, can I borrow it for a while? Me next ..... unless the wife finds out (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 0 #9 May 26, 2009 Tell em something mundane, like you fell down the stairs, or something like that. Question, answer, over-and-done. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diablopilot 2 #10 May 26, 2009 Yes, after a week, I told people I tripped and fell down some stairs.---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #11 May 26, 2009 a 13'000ft stair!? “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #12 May 26, 2009 Quote FADE IN: INT. BAR - NIGHT BRINKMAN, mid-20s, limps in with the aid of a crutch. A GIRL spots him. GIRL What happened? BRINKMAN I broke my leg. GIRL Oh! That's horrible! How? BRINKMAN It came into contact with the ground at high speed. GIRL Oh. What were you doing? BRINKMAN I was approaching the ground at high speed. GIRL No silly! I mean why were you going at high speed? BRINKMAN Are you familiar with the gravitational constant of 32 feet per second per second? GIRL Uh . . . BRINKMAN Hey, you seem exactly bright enough. Wanna fuck? I like this answer the best... in fact when I broke my hand (I know not obvous or intense as a broken leg) I usually explained it as I had a disagreement with the ground... I thought I should keep moving in a particular direction... the ground wanted me to stop... I lost the arguement... Look on the bright side... it could be worse... you could have broken your leg golfing... Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Bill 0 #13 May 26, 2009 Tell them you stepped out of an airplane and hit the ground to hard, worked for me. Most people never even think of skydiving. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
downwardspiral 0 #14 May 26, 2009 Dude! If a chick comes up to you and says "nice prop"....she's flirting with you. Try not to be so annoyed next time.www.FourWheelerHB.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jbrinkman 0 #15 May 26, 2009 i dono man, she seemed pretty sure of herself that i was faking it. i probably could have turned it around on her and asked her if that was her way of hitting on me but at the time i didnt feel like dealing with it.Live Love Learn FLY Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #16 May 26, 2009 Just say this. I saved a box of kittens from getting hit by a truck.Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,454 #17 May 26, 2009 Congratulations, you have reached the next stage of skydiving-whuffo relations! You've graduated from the "must tell EVERYONE about skydiving" to the "I'll tell em if they really want to know" stage. This stage is often characterized by describing injuries via euphemisms i.e. "well, I was getting out of an airplane and I fell awkwardly." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rlucus 0 #18 May 26, 2009 QuoteCongratulations, you have reached the next stage of skydiving-whuffo relations! You've graduated from the "must tell EVERYONE about skydiving" to the "I'll tell em if they really want to know" stage. This stage is often characterized by describing injuries via euphemisms i.e. "well, I was getting out of an airplane and I fell awkwardly." "I fell out of a tree" then if they ask why I was in a tree I'll put the "I flew my parachute into it" part. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 0 #19 May 26, 2009 QuoteCongratulations, you have reached the next stage of skydiving-whuffo relations! You've graduated from the "must tell EVERYONE about skydiving" to the "I'll tell em if they really want to know" stage. This stage is often characterized by describing injuries via euphemisms i.e. "well, I was getting out of an airplane and I fell awkwardly." There are multiple stages to this progression. I think a final stage is "denying being a skydiver even when being waterboarded." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 3 #20 May 26, 2009 Actually the final stage is called an ash dive.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jbrinkman 0 #21 May 27, 2009 hahah, ive used this one already, susbstitute the box of kittens with a puppyLive Love Learn FLY Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
