nigel99 144 #1 August 4, 2009 Some of my favorite descriptive comments: Easter egg on legs (fat person) I've seen more meat on a vegan buffet (skinny person) Smaller than a gnats cock (small item) Up and down like a whores drawers (can be widely used - stock market, wifes moods, engineering parameter, sales figures etc) Would like to hear some othersExperienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgigirlie 0 #2 August 4, 2009 Things my grandma says: It's hotter than a whore in a feather bed in July. It's hotter than a two peckered goat. I'm sweatin' like a fat girl writing her first love letter. You'd think we lived somewhere hot, but we're from Michigan..."If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." ~Catherine Aird Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #3 August 4, 2009 QuoteThings my grandma says: It's hotter than a whore in a feather bed in July. It's hotter than a two peckered goat. I'm sweatin' like a fat girl writing her first love letter. You'd think we lived somewhere hot, but we're from Michigan... Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra. Colder than a bucket of penguin shit Sweatin' more than a whore in church If he had a brain - it would roll around in his brain like a BB in a box car speeding down a cobblestone road.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #4 August 4, 2009 More money than sense. He's hung like a hamster.Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slcooper 0 #5 August 4, 2009 Every day when I get ready to leave work: I'm out like a fat kid playing dodgeball. My boss about my department: Working with you people is like trying to herd cats.Why would anyone jump out of a perfectly good airplane? Cause the door was open! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
k-dubjumps 0 #6 August 4, 2009 Well, he's/she's sharp as a marble isn't he/she.Adrenaline is my crack DPH #3 D.S. #16 FAG #12 Muff Brother #4406 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #7 August 4, 2009 QuoteWell, he's/she's sharp as a marble isn't he/she. Couple a beers short of a six pack, Isn't he?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slcooper 0 #8 August 4, 2009 QuoteQuoteWell, he's/she's sharp as a marble isn't he/she. Couple a beers short of a six pack, Isn't he? Couple of sandwiches short of a picnic.Why would anyone jump out of a perfectly good airplane? Cause the door was open! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
comslayer 0 #9 August 4, 2009 Kegs with legs - short fat people Sharp as a bowling ball DWA - driving while asian Pain re-inforces learning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eeneR 1 #10 August 4, 2009 Few fries short of a happy meal She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #11 August 4, 2009 Quote Few fries short of a happy meal Stupid should hurt! Legs all the way up to her ass! She looks like she could: . . . Suck Start a harley . . . Suck start an F-14 . . . Suck a golfball through a waterhose If she was any smarter, she wouldn't need reminders to breathe.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Niki1 1 #12 August 4, 2009 QuoteQuoteQuoteWell, he's/she's sharp as a marble isn't he/she. Couple a beers short of a six pack, Isn't he? Couple of sandwiches short of a picnic. Don't have both oars in the eater. A few bricks short of a load. A few sandwiches short of a picnic. That dog don't hunt. (A bad idea) Smart as a box of rocks, (or Sack of hammers) And my favorite: His silder dosen't come all the way down.Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossilbe before they were done. Louis D Brandeis Where are we going and why are we in this basket? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,146 #13 August 4, 2009 Doesn't have two thoughts to rub together Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #14 August 4, 2009 QuoteDoesn't have two thoughts to rub together Wendy P. Couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper sack!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kingbunky 3 #15 August 4, 2009 i should have known it wouldn't work out with my ex-wife. after all, i'm an aquarius and she's a bitch. lots more here. my faves: The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. edit to add: almost forgot this one: couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel."Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart." MB4252 TDS699 killing threads since 2001 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgigirlie 0 #16 August 4, 2009 He's not exactly the brightest knife in the drawer. He fell outta the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Even if she had the sense her mama gave her she'd still be short of a nickel. It's better to ask for forgiveness later than it is to ask for permission now."If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." ~Catherine Aird Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #17 August 4, 2009 You've got more chance of getting a wank off the Pope. I do belive that you have me confussed with someone who actually gives a shit. She's so ugly, she looks like her face was on fire and put out with a cricket bat. (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnDeere 0 #18 August 4, 2009 My fav. Pick up your skirt and grab your balls! ( for all the pussy guys that cant speak there mind )Nothing opens like a Deere! You ignorant fool! Checks are for workers! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #19 August 4, 2009 QuoteMy fav. Pick up your skirt and grab your balls! ( for all the pussy guys that cant speak there mind ) Come On Now - Put on your Big Girl Panties and . . .I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nigel99 144 #20 August 4, 2009 you guys have reminded me of a few more. She's so hot she would give a bishop a hard-on Does a bear shit in the woods? Also heard this one mangled as does the pope shit in the woods.Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnDeere 0 #21 August 4, 2009 Quote Quote My fav. Pick up your skirt and grab your balls! ( for all the pussy guys that cant speak there mind ) Come On Now - Put on your Big Girl Panties and . . . Quit acting like a little bitch....I can go home and get that shit from my wife!Nothing opens like a Deere! You ignorant fool! Checks are for workers! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #22 August 4, 2009 Quote Quote Quote My fav. Pick up your skirt and grab your balls! ( for all the pussy guys that cant speak there mind ) Come On Now - Put on your Big Girl Panties and . . . Quit acting like a little bitch....I can go home and get that shit from my wife! I don't have to stand here and take this abuse - I can go ANYWHERE and get this!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kingbunky 3 #23 August 4, 2009 Quote Quote Quote My fav. Pick up your skirt and grab your balls! ( for all the pussy guys that cant speak there mind ) Come On Now - Put on your Big Girl Panties and . . . Quit acting like a little bitch....I can go home and get that shit from my wife! life's tough, lose the skirt and get a helmet."Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart." MB4252 TDS699 killing threads since 2001 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aresye 0 #24 August 4, 2009 QuoteIt's better to ask for forgiveness later than it is to ask for permission now. Standard operating procedures for being in the military.Skydiving: You either learn from other's mistakes, or they'll learn from yours. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #25 August 4, 2009 Can't believe no one has thrown out the "Suck it up, cup cake"Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
