skyrider 0 #51 July 23, 2010 Quote Quote Bandwidth waste? we really need an Eye rolly emoticon...I'll use my personal one for now!http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v400/onekick/Gifs/skyroll.gif Awesome! LOL, me and my son found those glases up in the mountains, and I desided my trolls would LOVE to get a picture of me wearing them!..."It worked", two days later, It showed up on their board as "Captain Underpants"! I had a friend take that, and add it to my motorcycle, and changed my avatar at Neds! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v400/onekick/Gifs/4721885974_afd8fba2cc_t.jpg yep...they upset me! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyrider 0 #52 July 23, 2010 The same friend did the eye rollie thing to it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #53 July 23, 2010 Quote Bandwidth waste? we really need an Eye rolly emoticon...I'll use my personal one for now!http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v400/onekick/Gifs/skyroll.gif I love it!! Gonna save that for future use if that is okay with you...TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cloudclimr 0 #54 July 24, 2010 that was a dam good response Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
feuergnom 22 #55 August 5, 2010 irish joke # 217 An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar in Sydney, Australia. "The view is fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional," said the Scotsman, "but I still prefer the pubs back home. Why? In Glasgow there's a little bar call McTavish's. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that, when you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink for you." "Well," said the Englishman, "at my pub, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your third drink after you had the first two." "Ahhh, that's nothin' ", said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when you've had enough drink, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid; all on the house." The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims. He swears every word is true. "Well," said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?" "Not meself personally, no," said the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister."The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davjohns 1 #56 August 5, 2010 An Englishman, American and Irishman are in a pub. They each order a pint. On arrival, each pint has a fly drop right into it. The Englishman pushes his aside in disgust. The American plucks the fly out of his and begins to drink. The Irishman plucks out the fly and begins to shake it yelling, "Spit it out, you bastard! Spit it out!".I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,134 #57 August 5, 2010 Three women; one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men. All three agree that they'll will wear a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and black mask over their faces and see the reaction they get. After a few days they meet again. The engaged girlfriend said: 'The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4' stilettos and mask. He said, "You are The woman of my life, I love you." We made love all night long.' The mistress stated: 'Oh Yes! The other night we met in the office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a long raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn' say a word. We just had wild sex all night.' The married one then said: 'The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mothers for the night. I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV remote and a beer, and said, 'Hey Batman, what's for dinner?' Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #58 August 9, 2010 Frozen Crabs & the Blond Stewardess A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans, with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blond stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?" Not one hand went up... so she took them home and ate them. Two lessons here: 1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are. 2. Blonds aren't as dumb as most folk think."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #59 August 9, 2010 An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered and found the old desk they’d shared where Andy had carved “I love you, Sally .” On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money - fifty thousand dollars! Andy said, “We’ve got to give it back..” Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic. The next day two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money and knocked on their door. “Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?” Sally said, “No”. Andy said, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic. Sally said, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.” The agents turned to Andy and began to question him. One said: “Tell us the story from the beginning.” Andy said, “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday....” The first police officer turned to his partner and said, “We’re outta here!”"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #60 August 9, 2010 A new Publix Supermarket opened in the next town. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the distant sound of thunder and the smell of fresh rain.. When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh cut hay. In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks and brats. In the liquor department, the fresh, clean, crisp smell of tapped Miller Lite. When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying. The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies. I don't buy toilet paper there anymore."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 622 #61 August 9, 2010 Bullshit, there is no such thing as "the fresh, clean, crisp smell of tapped Miller Lite." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #62 August 9, 2010 Quote Bullshit, there is no such thing as "the fresh, clean, crisp smell of tapped Miller Lite." +1I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #63 August 9, 2010 Quote Bullshit, there is no such thing as "the fresh, clean, crisp smell of tapped Miller Lite." Hey it aint my words. I would have said something like Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum... Miller Lite rates just a notch above piss. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 1,635 #64 August 10, 2010 Quote Miller Lite rates just a notch above piss. That must have been a fascinating taste test you did.... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davjohns 1 #65 August 12, 2010 If this offends your political religion, feel free to substitute another name. dwj A good Catholic Joke The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leans towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!" Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that with one little wave of your hand? Show me!" So the Pope backhanded the wench and ... The Crowd Roared & Cheered Wildly!! Kind of brings a tear to your eyes, doesn't it?I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #66 August 12, 2010 Quote If this offends your political religion, feel free to substitute another name. dwj A good Catholic Joke The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leans towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!" Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that with one little wave of your hand? Show me!" So the Pope backhanded the wench and ... The Crowd Roared & Cheered Wildly!! Kind of brings a tear to your eyes, doesn't it? THAT - was good.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #67 August 12, 2010 Quote Quote If this offends your political religion, feel free to substitute another name. dwj A good Catholic Joke The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd. The Pope leans towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!" Pelosi replied, "I seriously doubt that with one little wave of your hand? Show me!" So the Pope backhanded the wench and ... The Crowd Roared & Cheered Wildly!! Kind of brings a tear to your eyes, doesn't it? THAT - was good. Agreed. And she would have deserved it! "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
feuergnom 22 #68 August 23, 2010 how to find inner peace I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a medical t.v. show, I have found inner peace. It's true. A doctor proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Punglies, that mainder of bot Prozic and Alum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box of choclits. Yu haf no idr who fkin gud I fel! Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee AR in ned ov inr pis.The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle dudeist skydiver # 666 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #69 August 24, 2010 Somebody check Snopes for me, I'm too lazy to search to verify this story. PHONE REPAIR Lawrence , Kansas, December 12, 2008 A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found: 1 . The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar. 2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose. 3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called. 4.. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate. 5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring. Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning. Thought you'd like to know. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #70 August 27, 2010 Riddle - what is soft and warm just before you go to sleep, but hard in the morning ? Pillow vomit Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #71 August 28, 2010 Quote Riddle - what is soft and warm just before you go to sleep, but hard in the morning ? Pillow vomit Pussy juice.[:)I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
