waltappel 1 #26 July 22, 2005 QuoteQuoteyou've forgotten the classic... fuck her in the ass without asking first, when your done, get up, wipe yourself on her curtains and steal her purse on the way out... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- But leave a 20 on the night stand, with a note on it.. 'Buy yourself something pretty...' and add 'Something like your mom picked out'. You win!!! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #27 July 22, 2005 QuoteQuoteyou've forgotten the classic... fuck her in the ass without asking first, when your done, get up, wipe yourself on her curtains and steal her purse on the way out... But leave a 20 on the night stand, with a note on it.. 'Buy yourself something pretty...' See? There ya go being nice again. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 27 #28 July 22, 2005 Quote(actually that was me and it was a total accident and I felt AWFUL about it and totally made up for it) No comment...Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #29 July 22, 2005 QuoteQuote(actually that was me and it was a total accident and I felt AWFUL about it and totally made up for it) No comment... Get your mind out of the gutter! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #30 July 22, 2005 Some people think I have a natural talent for it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #31 July 22, 2005 QuoteSome people think I have a natural talent for it. There's a difference between being and asshole and being clueless Clay. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #32 July 22, 2005 QuoteThere's a difference between being and asshole and being clueless Clay. Well tell them that! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jeiber 0 #33 July 22, 2005 Any time you're out, give any and every girl more attention than the one your with. Show more interest in roommates, best friends, sisters, or even mom, right in front of her. Make sure you comment repeatedly about how hot they are. When she's upset about something and wants to talk. Just space out, then interrupt her and ask for sex. Open the door for another girl, and talk to her, while you let the door go and hit your date.Shhh... you hear that sound? That's the sound of nobody caring! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sharimcm 0 #34 July 22, 2005 And, don't forget to get broken finger syndrome. The one where you're out with the boys and "lose track of time" and forget to call... Oh, and make sure that you get stripper dust (glitter) on you. That'll make for an interesting night. Oh wait.. There's more. Tell girl #1 that you'll see her that weekend, make her drive 4 hours to a specific location, then make it known you've been fucking another girl BEFORE girl #1 shows up, then try to play if off like nothing happened after girl #2 leaves. "I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jeiber 0 #35 July 22, 2005 QuoteOh, and make sure that you get stripper dust (glitter) on you. That'll make for an interesting night. Ok, kind of relevant on how to be an asshole- (author unknown) BALLS vs GUTS We have all heard someone refer to a fellow male as, "Man, he's got guts." Or, perhaps the reference may have been: "That guy has some set of balls on him." We have always wondered what determines if a guy has balls, or if he has guts. While these two examples may not clarify the differences for you, hopefully they will provide some insight as to the difficulty of providing a precise and accurate definition and delineation. Perhaps you cannot have one without the other, and they are one and the same, although anatomically located in different areas of the body. GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?" BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next."Shhh... you hear that sound? That's the sound of nobody caring! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,772 #36 July 22, 2005 Those things don't make anyone an asshole. Now, if the woman says "it bugs me when you just show up and watch TV" and he STILL does it - then he's an asshole. Before that he's just clueless. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #37 July 22, 2005 QuoteThose things don't make anyone an asshole. Now, if the woman says "it bugs me when you just show up and watch TV" and he STILL does it - then he's an asshole. Before that he's just clueless. But then we're nagging! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #38 July 22, 2005 QuoteBut then we're nagging! Well...................yes............. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #39 July 23, 2005 I pissed off Farrah today. I am officially an asshole. "JP are you pissed off at me?" "No, hon, that's just my confrontational aspect, I'm just trying to figure out where you want me to do what next. I adore you, Farrah, and if I'm being a dick, I'm sorry, that's just the way I come accross. The psychs call it my confrontational aspect, and the rednecks call it how I am such a badass that I can't even get into fight in Floridia redneck bars. I'm sorry. Turned out grreat though, today, even though I got puked on. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #40 July 23, 2005 Replying to my own damn self. What a gift? Huh? Being such a dick just about nobody willl fight you? Argh. I need a skill that pays money. Buy a house from me! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Girlfalldown 0 #41 July 23, 2005 Stop trying to be an asshole! You're simply not an asshole. Give it a rest, asshole! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SkydivingNurse 0 #42 July 23, 2005 Or the infamous: "Your sister sucks it waaayyyy better than you do" Then give her a Dirty Sanchez My one friend in the Navy was bangin some girl in the arse and donkey punched her to tighten her up. My hero... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #43 July 23, 2005 I'd like to be an asshole, but it's seems like there is too much effort involved. I need a nap after a good fart. My only real achievement of asshole-dom was my drunken visits to the Rantoul dz.com tent each night around 3. Sometimes the extra effort is worth it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Designer 0 #44 July 23, 2005 Good 1!(lol)I told my special lady friend that she was the "Only" I was doing.It would be pretty hard for me to whore around town!(lol) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #45 July 23, 2005 Get the Valentines Day that says "You are the only one in my life" and send it to the 12 women that you are dating. When one finds out about another, claim that you were letting her down easy because she became too possessive. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites freeflir29 0 #46 July 23, 2005 QuoteMy one friend in the Navy was bangin some girl in the arse and donkey punched her to tighten her up. You didn't buy that story did you? I mean............he lives on a ship with 100's of other guys. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #47 July 23, 2005 Give her one of those pine tree shaped car air fresheners... Attached to a thong. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites HydroGuy 0 #48 July 23, 2005 You have to let her know about the other women you've been with and their perfect boob jobs. It's a must that you get flirty with one of her friends...preferably the one with the rep for liking her friends current or ex's. Or the one that she is most jealous of. Grabbing her hair and pushing her head further while she's fellating you is a nice touch...I mean, this is for my pleasure not hers, right?Get in - Get off - Get away....repeat as neccessary Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites haymangonzo 0 #49 July 24, 2005 On your honemoon go to Vegas or something. And then on your wedding night when she's all getting ready to go to bed and have a great time, say: "Honey I just need to get something from the lobby" and leave the room. Come back 6 hours later after spending the night whoring and boozing around. *** Nice to meet you toot! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites tbrown 26 #50 July 24, 2005 Just make sure she's not one of those uppity bitches that owns a handgun.... Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 Next Page 2 of 3 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
Girlfalldown 0 #41 July 23, 2005 Stop trying to be an asshole! You're simply not an asshole. Give it a rest, asshole! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydivingNurse 0 #42 July 23, 2005 Or the infamous: "Your sister sucks it waaayyyy better than you do" Then give her a Dirty Sanchez My one friend in the Navy was bangin some girl in the arse and donkey punched her to tighten her up. My hero... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #43 July 23, 2005 I'd like to be an asshole, but it's seems like there is too much effort involved. I need a nap after a good fart. My only real achievement of asshole-dom was my drunken visits to the Rantoul dz.com tent each night around 3. Sometimes the extra effort is worth it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Designer 0 #44 July 23, 2005 Good 1!(lol)I told my special lady friend that she was the "Only" I was doing.It would be pretty hard for me to whore around town!(lol) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #45 July 23, 2005 Get the Valentines Day that says "You are the only one in my life" and send it to the 12 women that you are dating. When one finds out about another, claim that you were letting her down easy because she became too possessive. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #46 July 23, 2005 QuoteMy one friend in the Navy was bangin some girl in the arse and donkey punched her to tighten her up. You didn't buy that story did you? I mean............he lives on a ship with 100's of other guys. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #47 July 23, 2005 Give her one of those pine tree shaped car air fresheners... Attached to a thong. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HydroGuy 0 #48 July 23, 2005 You have to let her know about the other women you've been with and their perfect boob jobs. It's a must that you get flirty with one of her friends...preferably the one with the rep for liking her friends current or ex's. Or the one that she is most jealous of. Grabbing her hair and pushing her head further while she's fellating you is a nice touch...I mean, this is for my pleasure not hers, right?Get in - Get off - Get away....repeat as neccessary Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
haymangonzo 0 #49 July 24, 2005 On your honemoon go to Vegas or something. And then on your wedding night when she's all getting ready to go to bed and have a great time, say: "Honey I just need to get something from the lobby" and leave the room. Come back 6 hours later after spending the night whoring and boozing around. *** Nice to meet you toot! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tbrown 26 #50 July 24, 2005 Just make sure she's not one of those uppity bitches that owns a handgun.... Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
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