BillyVance's "You Can't Make This Up" News Stories Thread

[ryoder 1,384]

BillyVance

Don't do drugs, mmmmmkay?

But it wasn't about drugs.
It was about cruciferous vegetables.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[gowlerk 1,912]

ryoder

***
Don't do drugs, mmmmmkay?

But it wasn't about drugs.
It was about cruciferous vegetables.


Broccoli is a gateway veg. It leads to brussel sprouts and eventually, the dreaded kale.

Always remember the brave children who died defending your right to bear arms. Freedom is not free.

[Rick 67]

gowlerk

******
Don't do drugs, mmmmmkay?

But it wasn't about drugs.
It was about cruciferous vegetables.


Broccoli is a gateway veg. It leads to brussel sprouts and eventually, the dreaded kale.

yeah not sure how hard a kale habit is to break

You can't be drunk all day if you don't start early!

[BillyVance 34]

http://m.wbrc.com/myfoxal/db_383166/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=oYdcFvNm

WTF

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Rick 67]

BillyVance

http://m.wbrc.com/myfoxal/db_383166/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=oYdcFvNm

WTF

I agree Billy WTF

You can't be drunk all day if you don't start early!

[ryoder 1,384]

Plane nearly ran out of fuel after pilots forgot to bring up landing gear
[facepalm]
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/news/air-india-forgotten-landing-gear-low-fuel/

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[ryoder 1,384]

Recent Study Claims Driving Makes You Dumber Over Time
http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2017/07/recent-study-claims-driving-makes-you-dumber-while-aging/

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[akarunway 1]

ryoder

Fark: "Teen protip: if you're going to egg cyclists from your car, try not to pick competitive mountain bikers who might chase after you. Especially if they're cops on their lunch break. And FFS not if you have weed in the car"

http://www.baynews9.com/content/news/baynews9/news/article.html/content/news/articles/bn9/2017/7/20/lakeland_teens_arres.html

They're lucky. In Fl. it's called projecting a deadly missle and they could have been hit w/a felony charge. Punks.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[akarunway 1]

BillyVance

http://m.wbrc.com/myfoxal/db_383166/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=oYdcFvNm

WTF

Baked many brownies in my life and never put milk in em.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[wolfriverjoe 1,340]

Guy is in a bad car accident. Traumatic brain injury. Comatose, non responsive. He's in the long term care at Ohio State University Hospital (location is important).

Doctors regularly ask him questions, trying to see if he is in any way responsive. Family is warned that they will have to consider pulling the plug in a few weeks if no change.

So what gets a response? When they ask him if he likes Michigan.

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[BillyVance 34]

Yeah I saw that in the news last week. Funny shit.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[BillyVance 34]

Bear attacks ONE sheep. The other 200+ fling themselves off a cliff to their deaths fleeing the bear. Oy!



http://www.msn.com/en-us/video/animals/hundreds-of-sheep-plunge-to-their-deaths-while-trying-to-flee-from-bear/vi-AAoLEcr

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Rick 67]

what a waste of some perfectly good sheep

You can't be drunk all day if you don't start early!

[ryoder 1,384]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4746838/Car-shockingly-falls-water-boat-docks.html

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[BillyVance 34]

Hmmm... the Peanut Butter Gang?

http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2017/07/peanut_butter_used_to_trick_yo.html#incart_river_home_pop

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[akarunway 1]

http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/jersey/garden-state-pleasure-session-840236 Had to be entered into evidence.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[DJL 232]

akarunway

http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/jersey/garden-state-pleasure-session-840236 Had to be entered into evidence.

Nobody would complain if this were a woman. Blatant sexism.

"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

[ryoder 1,384]

Dubai's aptly named "Torch Tower" on fire...for the 2nd time in two years: http://www.news.com.au/world/middle-east/dubai-tower-engulfed-in-flames-as-a-massive-blaze-breaks-out-in-the-worlds-tallest-residential-building/news-story/aa68c5bc1c488fe200cc2311303c7125

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[oldwomanc6 38]

Fuck Dubai.

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[BillyVance 34]

ryoder

Dubai's aptly named "Torch Tower" on fire...for the 2nd time in two years: http://www.news.com.au/world/middle-east/dubai-tower-engulfed-in-flames-as-a-massive-blaze-breaks-out-in-the-worlds-tallest-residential-building/news-story/aa68c5bc1c488fe200cc2311303c7125

Dumbasses...

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ryoder 1,384]

Woman wins bid in city auction for "vacant lot".
Hilarity ensues.
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2017/08/04/vacant-lot-street-mix-up/

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Rick 67]

ryoder

Woman wins bid in city auction for "vacant lot".
Hilarity ensues.
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2017/08/04/vacant-lot-street-mix-up/

"She said in 2010 the city offered to refund her $30,000, but she declined, because on her tax bill the city lists the property as “vacant land, zoned residential,” valued at $257,000.

“I would like the City of New York to pay me back the value of what the land is worth,” she said. “Not what they sold me for.”"

because that's fair

You can't be drunk all day if you don't start early!

[DJL 232]

Rick

***Woman wins bid in city auction for "vacant lot".
Hilarity ensues.
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2017/08/04/vacant-lot-street-mix-up/

"She said in 2010 the city offered to refund her $30,000, but she declined, because on her tax bill the city lists the property as “vacant land, zoned residential,” valued at $257,000.

“I would like the City of New York to pay me back the value of what the land is worth,” she said. “Not what they sold me for.”"

because that's fair

Interesting to see someone missing their own point that the original issue is in error.

"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

[BillyVance 34]

Not a news story, but one from my own workplace.

I work in a machine shop. About a week ago one dude stopped coming to work. He was just a general laborer and a so-so welder/grinder. I finally asked another coworker what happened to the dude.

"Oh he got fired."
"For what?"
"He called our supervisor and asked if he wanted to buy some liquid codeine"

I stared at him incredulously for a couple of seconds. Then we busted out laughing.

I asked the supervisor how it went down. He said he asked the dude "do you know who you're talking to?" Dude said "yeah".

Just when you think you've seen stupid, somebody else tops it.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ryoder 1,384]

ryoder

Woman wins bid in city auction for "vacant lot".
Hilarity ensues.
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2017/08/04/vacant-lot-street-mix-up/

Here is another story of someone buying a street: http://www.sfchronicle.com/bayarea/matier-ross/article/Rich-SF-residents-get-a-shock-Someone-bought-11738236.php

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.