wndrer73

"Washes the water"??? How exactly does one wash water? (and if anybody says "with soap, ya dummy!" I'll... I'll... uhhh.... NOT LIKE IT!) "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

(insert my best homer simpson impression here) mmmmmmmmmmmm.... chocolate. (delete my best homer simpson impression here) (insert my best impression of myself here) mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... cookie. (delete my best impression of myself here). thank you, and have a nice day. :-) "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

Smile... it makes others wonder what you're up to. "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

Houston? I thought she was in San Antonio? heh, j/k... dont mind me, i'm feeling "normal" today. "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

The password is ... 1...2...3..4....5 1...2...3..4...5.... that's the stupidest darn password I've ever heard of! That's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage! Later: President Skroob: 12345? That's amazing! It's the same combination on my luggage! -------- another skroob quote: "As president of Planet Spaceball I assure you we have no air shortage whatsoever. Thank you for calling, and not reversing the charges!" "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

"Who're you?" "Barf!" "Not in here, mister! This is a Mercedes!" "I'm going to call my father... 1-800-DRUIDIA" "Just what we needed... a Druish Princess!" "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

And related to that: "I don't know about this beaming stuff... is it safe?" "Oh yes sir, Snotty beamed me twice last night... it was WONDERFUL!" "Alright, what the hell, it works on Star Trek!" ... "WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE TELL ME MY ASS WAS SO BIG???" "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

I'm a dork. :-( But that's only because I'm in California. and I'm not allowed to drive anywhere let alone Texas, and cannot anyway coz my brother STOLE MY KEY AND HID IT!!!! GRRRRRRR (sorry..) "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

Okay so i'm starting a new thread here from the "Airplane Announcements" .... that sorta just made its way into quotes from Spaceballs... so here goes another one: "This ship will self-destruct in 10 seconds... 10...9...8...6..." "SIX??? WHAT HAPPENED TO SEVEN????!!!" "Just Kidding!" oh alright... here's another one: "It's Megamaid, Sir... she's gone from Suck to Blow!!!" LMAO! "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

first jump? Is that first jump EVER? That's gotta suck having a mal on your very first jump!!!! Especially something nasty like that! "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

Rob, As someone who recently went through the same experiences as you, let me also join everyone by saying Congratulations and welcome to the incredible, awesome, amazing world of skydiving!!!! My first tandem was in January, 2nd tandem in February, 1st AFF in February, and 2nd AFF in March. I failed that class and am not able to jump for at least a few more weeks for reasons I wont get into right now, but I can't wait to feel that rush again! I could relate to everything you said about your jump ... I had exactly the same feelings and I'm sure almost everyone does.... Jumping out of the plane is the easy part -- the hard part is the ride up to altitude!! ;-) So anyway, as someone said to me once, "Welcome to the sky!" "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

You fools! These aren't them! You've captured their STUNT DOUBLES!!! "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

Seems that's the most common advice i'm getting... "If you can run, you can jump (and land)." Thanks... Actually my doc said you can start jumping next week! I think he's a little TOO optimistic, but anyway, at the DZ (Byron, CA) they told me it doesn't matter what the doctor says... "it's when WE say you can jump" -- especially since I'm so new to the sport. Nice to know they're looking out for me, but I just want to get back in the air again! Oh well... I guess all this waiting/reading the safety forum here during that time is all for the best... "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

Yeah I've seen that one many times at San Jose airport too... looks pretty good when landing with the mountains in the back! Anyway, I think the one with the different stats paint job on some of the planes.... is...... uhhhh............ (i forgot now.. gimme a minute...) uhhhh..... (insert passing of one minute here) oh yeah! It's America West. "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

This has been going around in the emails... my apologies if you guys have already seen it: Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane." 2. Pilot: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land. It's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern." 3. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." 4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. Whoa!" 5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted." 6. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more." 7. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money more than Southwest Airlines." 8. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments." 9. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." 10. "Last one off the plane must clean it." 11. From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately none of them are on this flight." 12. This was overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the flight attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!" 13. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." 14. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a, "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, did we land or were we shot down?" 15. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant got on the PA and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal." 16. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways." ------ And this next one is something that I heard once on a Southwest Airlines flight from Orange County to San Jose, just after take-off (if you've ever flown out of Orange County, CA, you know what those take-off's are like!): "Ladies and gentlemen, for those of you who've never been in space, we have a special demonstration here for you: What 0-gravity feels like!" Ahhh, those wacky wascals at Southwest!!! "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

Thanks Lisa.. that's actually the same advice I've got from many people... I'm thinking the same thing - If I can run normally, I can land. I guess it's time to brush up on PLF's too! Any advice from PLFExpert on this? ;-) "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

Just 7,200 more minutes and you get your cast off huh? Congratulations! On my last doctor visit (2 weeks ago, and about 3 weeks after the operation), he said the bone is healing very well. I have 1 screw inside, and it's not bothering me any. (It was my fibula btw)... The cast has been off since that appointment, and i have a shoe now, but i'm still on crutches and still not allowed to put any weight on it. BUT... there have been about 4-5 times now that I've lost my balance on the crutches, and had to stomp down on my feet pretty hard to prevent myself from falling. And I didn't feel a thing! And yes, this happened during AFF-2, at an off-DZ landing on uneven ground. I flared too early, fell down, and probably twisted my ankle causing the bone to break (I dont think the fall itself was too high). And AFF-1 landing was just slightly better. I still goofed up a little bit and slid in.. but at least nothing happened. "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

I'm recovering from breaking my bone the first week of March during a BAD landing... I had a surgery on it, and it's healing pretty good (last 4 weeks)... I have 2nd post-operative doctor appointment on Friday, at which time he said he'll make start putting some weight on my leg... Now.. here's the question: When to return back to skydiving? A few weeks ago I went to the DZ and one of the guys over there who had the same thing happen to him said that the way he found out was by balancing on his injured leg, then standing only on his toes for a few seconds. No pain = okay to jump again. Now, this guy is a lot more experienced, while I'm an AFF student..... So.. what about others who've had a broken bone (ankle) and then started skydiving again? How long/under what conditions did you go up again? "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

ABSOLUTELY!!!! I actually even get goosebumps every time I hear "Danger Zone" or "Superman" or "Freefalling" or "Born to be Wild"... all songs on my tandem/AFF videos.. Last few days the weather here has been terrific... so my hearing the song is usually accompanied with a look towards the sky as well... *sigh* "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

Matt, What if you dont succeed the second time? is skydiving for you then? "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

Sorry about another newbie question (even though technically i'm off "newbie" status on this thing, but i *AM* a skydiving newbie...) but... What does it mean to bounce-proof one's logbook? Is it making sure your logbook can hold on to the grass so it doesn't bounce and kill itself in the case of a double mal? I'm totally clueless (like, fer shuur)... but I think as long as i dont start resembling alicia silverstone i'll be alright. "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

Some of these are kind of old (okay all of them are), but it's 5 freakin' AM and i'm awake and have nothing better to do, okay? Mind Teasers 1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him? 2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be? 3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug? 4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away? 5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday? 6. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it! In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out! Try to do so without any coaching! Answers below (after you figure them out!) don't cheat. !!!!!!! ANSWERS------------ 1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. 2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry. 3. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug. 4. The answer is Charcoal. In Homer Simpson's words: hmmmm... Barbecue. 5. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow! 6. The letter "e", which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph. "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

errrrr.... insert the word "have" somewhere in there. I also need grammar lessons. "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

I have a fault.... I don't enough money - I need money. Sincerely, Smartass. "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump

Nevada? Actually Nevada has DST; Arizona is the one that doesn't (just 1 state away).... and what's the deal with Indiana anyway? They have one little corner in a different time zone (Central) from the rest of the state (Eastern), and I can never really remember but ONE of those sections observes daylight savings time and the other one doesn't!!! Screws me up every time on road trips when I'm expecting restaurants etc to stay open another hour! Oh well, that's just me ranting... sorry 'bout that! (P.s. Hawaii doesnt have DST either - no issues there though) "Welcome to the sky!" -- My video/photographer, after my second tandem jump