Emma

Skreamer - that is gross. Ingenious, but gross. Anyway - I was haiving a similar thought myself recently re the 'normal' people. I am having a problem of late - in fact, since last year when I first jumped out of an aeroplane...and it is this; I just find myself glazing over as my whuffo friends talk about DIY and babies and getting pissed and doing the garden and pension plans and investments and ....AAAARGGHHHH!!! However, when they notice I've glazed over, it only gets worse, because then they ASK me about skydiving, and it goes something like this... SAMPLE CONVERSATION 'So, Emma, did you go JUMPING OUT OF AEROPLANES AGAIN at the weekend??!!!' [incredulous sideways glance to other whuffos] 'Er..yes...' 'You are CRRRRAZY!!! How high this time?' [shaking head with bemused and slightly patronising smirk implying my total insanity] 'Well, same as last time, 12,000 feet' 'So....do you actually get to be in FREEFALL?' [raised eyebrows] 'Er, well that's kind of what it's about...' 'Wow! And do you do all that SYNCHRONISED stuff I see them do on TV? Is it just like swimming?' 'Well, kind of...' 'And how high do you go up when they open the parachute?' 'well...you don't actually..' 'And can you breathe in clouds?' and so on and so on and so on until...I actually end up TELLING THEM what we do and how we do it and how brilliant it all is, and try to force a video on them...and sure enough, they've glazed over themselves in about 1 minute flat. And then I go back to being 'novelty skydiving friend' who is no longer able to converse about anything except a pretty esoteric sport that simultanously fascinates and bores the masses. So I end up being humoured until I can escape. Ahhh...just had to get it off my chest! I don't think there's an answer to this though...you just have to accept you're now a social outcast! emma

OK, top tip for getting though AFF is..... BUNK OFF WORK! BUNK OFF WORK! BUNK OFF WORK! BUNK OFF WORK! It's the only way.....and look at it sensibly...you will be so much more PRODUCTIVE and HAPPY and FULFILLED after you've been for a skydive! Emma

For some reason, it is traditional at my DZ when someone is off home to say, 'Drive fast, take risks!' Random, I know. Emma

So..if you've done your one (tandem) jump, are you technically a skydiver? Surely there's more to it than that???? I work at my DZ booking in the tandem passengers, they ALL say they're gonna come back and do a course, but we hardly EVER see them again! Kind of pisses me off actually. E

Ok, we have the standard definitions: whuffo, skydiver, skygod...etc Where in this does a one-off tandem person sit? Are they no longer a whuffo? But surely they are not a skydiver? But...hang on, does this all sound a bit elitist and wanky? Another contentious point - are you a tandem PASSENGER or a tandem STUDENT? This isn't a very nice point to make, but i've heard some tandem masters (who are really nice guys!) refer to doing tandems as 'lugging carcases'. Quality. Wotcha reckon? Emma

Same here...it seems grounded skydivers get so bored that they always get themselves into trouble if they aren't jumping... Often booze related, truth be told . We were thinking of getting a climbing wall at our DZ and then realised that we were bound to kill ourselves on that.......Weird....Hopefully we'll get the jacuzzi that's been under discussion for a while instead . ...he heh Emma

Well, if we really do get a good response for this sponsored BRA jump then I guess we're gonna make loadsa money for charideeeee! Jooleee, if you ever get down from the Highlands I'm sure you'd be happy to get yer baps out for a good cause? Hmmm, considerably off the track of your original thread. Congrats on the enthusiast status....I can only look towards that day with envy.... Em

Joolee! Are you the ONLY GIRL at your DZ? (Cool! Bet you get a lot of 'help' with your jumps eh? ) Or the only girl who'd do a nudie jump? We have several female takers here (and also several camera men offering to video it...not too sure bout that!) You don't stand in manifest with yer tits oot though, you wear (some) clothes or a sheet or something and remove it on the plane...and then when you land, hey presto! You canopy doubles as a cunning concealment device! Just land AWAY from the hangars! Send us the pics! Em

Even monkey butts wouldn't be safe at my DZ at the moment..no-one and nothing is sacred! Emma

Ahh, the ones I want to be like tend to be brilliant at skydiving yet still modest, mild-mannered (er..actually maybe not, thinking back to the weekend..but whatever!) and generous with their skills. Most of the guys at my DZ are fantastic and spend loads of time helping the crap ones like me...I wonder if it bores them sometimes, while we skate around like knobbers? It's just a few, and it's true, with a relatively small numbers of jumps, who fancy themselves a bit. Gladly, in the minority

Bad luck man...Essays suck big time. I'm so glad I don't have to do them any more heh he ! Just get 'em over and done with and you're free to play in the sky with your magical sky friends! (man, I need to get out more!) BTW - the phrase 'Knock one out' is a wee bit...er...suspect, where I'm from! Emma

That is the funniest thing I ever heard! What a cool kid! I'm surprised the teacher didn't laugh...I mean, that was pretty quick-witted, especially for a 10-year old! He may have picked up the word 'shit' at the DZ but I think the humour was all his own. Bless! When I have kids (eeurrgh...hopefully a long way away!!) I have no hesitation in letting them hang around the DZ all week if they like. At our DZ there's so many people who just automatically 'look after' random, stray skydive kids without even thinking about it. Surely it has to be a better environment, outside, running around, mixing with a (colourful) variety of skydivers than sitting at home turning into a lump of lard in front of the TV? Emma

Hey y'all, Was wondering what the general consensus on the term 'skygod' is? We here in the UK have conflicting defninitions....Generally I refer to someone as a skygod if they're a shit-hot skydiver and I want to be just like them! However, I have heard it used in a derogatory way, i.e., someone who thinks themselves to be a highly skilled aerial athlete but is, in fact, an arrogant and relatively talentless arse. The reason I ask is that...(shock!) ..I think I met some skydivers who match the latter description whilst on a boogie in Spain. The people at my home DZ are really cool, not stuck up or anything, they take the piss but it's all pretty self-deprecating...So when I met this guy who was all, 'Let me tell you all about skydiving and how fabulous I am at it..Let me impose my huge sky wisdom and opinions on you for half an hour!' ,I was gobsmacked! Arrogant tossy skydivers? No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!!!!!! I thought all the people of the sky were cool! Can it be? Thoughts? Anyone out there a prima-donna skygod type who wants to give some feedback? Is it an elite club or can anyone join? Cheers m'dears, emma

I don't think this sounds all that weird, hon! (Mountainman, I'm not being rude but jumping on your own is a lot different from doing a tandem, maybe you'll empathise a bit more when you've done your AFF?) I am ALWAYS nervous on the plane. Sometimes it's really bad, sometimes it's not so bad (once, I was so tired from jumping all day that I fell asleep on the ride up...I reckoned that was some kind of skydiving virginity lost! He he). A bit of fear is a good thing, it keeps you alive, y'know! I only have 150+ jumps and I'm less nervous now than I use to be...in fact, no-one really knows that I get nervous cos it doesn't show...but I still get a bit worked up! I also get that feeling sometimes...'I don't HAVE to do this!'..But then a bigger voice comes out and says 'YES YOU DO!' It's weird, it's like, getting to the point where you jump can shit you up, but then NOT jumping is worse! Get yo ass up the DZ boy! You'll be fine! Rememember, people that say they aren't even a little bit nervous are either lying. Or stoopid. Ciao, lovers, Em x

Crosswind is brilliant, it's the kind of thing you can actually show to whuffos and have them go, 'wow, that looks cool!'. Kind of changes their understanding of skydiving as being just jumping out of a plane and going 'Way-hay!' Duh. I DID own Good Stuff because the lovely Sangiro (such a handsome and generous chap) sent me a copy when I offered to review it last year. And then, some low-life scumbag whuffo ARSE-HEAD nicked it from my DZ! I'd left it in the video machine for my fellow skydivers to share with me. Bollocks. Good Stuff is good (I THINK I remember it....cool opening scene...) - but I prefer Crosswind. Breakaway is also good for information on how to deal with various types of mal. Enjoy! e

What's a WOTG? By all means come on down and visit, but you have to sponsor the jump e

Oh dear, was it that obvious I'm a veggie? Well, not one to press the point...Corned beef, for your interest, is a rather unpleasant canned meat product. It looks similar to a very spotty adolescent's skin...kind of raw and mottled....purpley, even, with some ...erm...corny stuff in... Actually, maybe change that vision from naked men in corned beef to..naked skydive men in a bathtub of honey....oohh la la! Arizona Airspeed dirt-diving in corner bath of breakfast spreads...the mind truly boggles But I digress! I am a fan of nakedness and a fan of skydiving....although perhaps not together...And certainly not involving dubious meat 'products'... emma

Damnation! Wish I'd seen that post...maybe it's a troll? But since we're on the subject....I do think there's something about skydiving that raises hormonal levels or something. My DZ seems to be having an outbreak of shag-fever! Honestly, everyone is shagging everyone! (Whoops, that sets the cat among the pigeons eh?) However, there are a few (and I mean a FEW) who just aren't in that scene at all. My boyfriend and I have been together for a-a-a-ges, and once people sussed that we really were a couple (we both jump so there's no whuffo/skydiver issue there) then they kind of respected it. In fact, I think people would be pretty horrified if either of us played around. There are also at least...ooh....5 other stable couples at my DZ.... However, I think SINGLE skydivers do kind of ..erm...well...shag each other. A lot. Something to do with the adrenaline, the bonding associated with freefalling...skydivers being the best people around and therefore more worthy of shagging? Same old story though....if you're in a solid relationship all that becomes redundant. Even if male skydivers are the most shaggable men on the planet Cheers, emma

Wow. Didn't know fraternity/ sorority things actually existed outside of American teen movies. How surreal. Do they really CARE about this bollocks? Is it like on Cruel Intentions with Sarah Michelle Geller? (I'm sure that's the one....)Or, for the older among you (he he)...St Elmo's Fire (truly a classic 80s flick...with some classic 80s flick-hairstyles...purrrrrfect) Emma

Wow...subtle positioning...naked bird in repose with hotdogs in bath.....woman and bits of rubbery, tube shaped animal corpse....woman blending in naturally with bathtub full of meat....women = pieces of meat? OR...naked bird with hotdogs in bathtub....naked feminine limbs entwined with tube shaped bits of flesh....subliminal suggestion of erotic experience...women, they love it up 'em??? Hmmm.....my GCSE in Media Studies tells me this is not so subtle...Perhaps there's some post-modern irony intended here? Surely skydivers see through this shallow marketing ploy? But hang on...I know you're American and all that , but why target skydivers with a hotdog ad anyway? Do American skydivers eat an exceptional amount of hotdogs? Did the ad sales guy at Skydiving think..'Ah...bugger targeting companies that make skydiving equipment, that's too obvious.....I know....HOTDOGS!' Seems pretty random to me. Although it really does make our British equivalent, Skydive-The Mag, seem a bit bland now... We want nude blokes frolicking in bathtubs full of corned beef!!! Prrooooowwwwl......I'm getting aroused just thinking about it Emma

Hehe...nakie jumps....We keep on talkin' bout it but when I get to the DZ...hmm, the concept becomes strangely less appealing... Instead, we're thinking about sorting out a BRA JUMP for Breast Cancer Awareness...sponsored by Playtex, which is cool. I'm intending to ask them for a Wonderbra...as solid as possible, I've seen what freefall does to your tits! Will keep you posted as to the date, no doubt there could be some press coverage (yikes!), 10 chicks skydiving in their bras....Time for a full-face helmet methinks emma

JOOLEEEEE!!!! AAARGHHH!!! Exams. Suck. Arse. Can't believe you have one on Saturday! What kind of inhumane, oppressive bastard course are you on? I hope it's worth it mate! On a positive note...(sort of)...if Scotland's anything like England it's pissing it down now anyway. And freezing. Huh. So much for summer! So maybe it'll rain on Saturday and you won't miss anything anyway?! I used to do ANYTHING to dodge work...tidy my room, arrange my sock drawer....bake a CAKE! (not even THAT sort of cake..hehe)...And then one happy day, it's all over....and you can chuck away those books and smile smugly in the knowledge that you are free to SKYDIVE YOUR TITS OFF all summer! At least, I hope that's what you'll be able to do! Gus makes a good point, once again highligting the superior quality of life skydivers have...IMAGINE not knowing what it felt like to skydive? Ahh, just thinking about it gets me all excited again (am I a mentallist? Is it just me?) In fact, on the drive up to the DZ, I start getting a tingling feeling....man! I love talking to other skydivers just about how F**KING FANTASTIC skydiving is! When you get people off the 'Hmm, 6 point 4-way...meeker...zipper...blah blah' convo and get down to the basics of what we do, everyone does it because it's simply the best thing they've ever done. Wow, we surely are the chosen people! Hope Saturday goes ok, don't worry, there are lots of days left in your life to jump (and you probably owe it to yourself to pull a sickie, n'est-ce pas?) Emma

CYPRES SAVE REPORT Just to keep this age-old debate ticking along nicely... Last weekend a jumper at my dropzone had a mal. She's got about 200 jumps, is a fairly conservative jumper and generally considered safe, reasonable and (?) not stoopid. In fact, she used to be in the army so she aint a silly dizzy fluffy bimbo type either. Anyway, she carried out her drills, cutaway, and pulled her reserve handle...Nothing happened...so she starts to shit herself a bit, seeing as she's 2,000 feet away from impact with a very big planet and rapidly approaching terminal...She's tugging away at her reserve and can't get it loose, when at 750 feet or thereabouts, her Cypres fired. Now, if she hadn't had a Cypres, she would have died - defnitely. Because, when she went to deploy her reserve, her rig had moved from its normal position (they do that sometimes) and in fact, she'd grabbed her 3-ring circus and was trying to pull on THAT, thinking it was her reserve handle. Yes, that sounds dumb, and I like to think I wouldn't do that...But, I can't help thinking I'm glad she had a Cypres, because in the 4 seconds or so she had till impact, she couldn't mentally deal with thinking slowly and rationally, and looking for that reserve handle again. The trouble is, we all like to assume we'd do the right thing at the right time and not make a stupid mistake....I don't criticise anyone who jumps without a Cypres, but things like this really make you think. Anyway, suppose the moral of the story is 'LOOK, locate, cutaway, reserve...' emma

LOL @ Tiger.... Roll on the weekend...

Wow. Everyone got really angry and I STILL don't understand what the f*&$k you're all talking about! Not that I think it's 'uncool' to converse in this esoteric way. I too could be considered a geek, just not a computer geek (Star Trek rocks, and the 'bald one', Picard, is one of the sexiest men to ever live...shame he doesn't skydive but you can't have everything)... Although I wish I was a computer geek, cos then i'd earn loads and loads of money and be able to retire early and then skydive all day long instead of SITTING IN THIS ARSING OFFICE WHILE THE SUN SHINES OUTSIDE AND OTHERS GET TO JUMP! huh. Just a wee not-being-able-to-skydive vent. e