Emma

Yep I tried it and no-one was there... Where were YOU, Dick???? em

Awwwww...ESPACE! Is that the same as Vichy? I was thinking of heading out to Lapalisse in a coupla weeks, that's nearby huh? Hope you have fun anyway! Ben, re my PM, cool for the weekend or any other weekend pretty much, Hinton is usually pretty fun whatever (although why Remi has defected to Langar i'll never know! ) Btw, the nudie thing wasn't an erotic or kinky thing at all, apart from the nice feeling it sorta didn't feel like we were naked, it was just another awesome skydive (although I'm kind of glad I sunk out on the donut ! I tried to explain to whuffo colleagues but they all think I'm some sort of exhibitionist pervert now! E

No sense of humour? I heard you jumped a purple pimp suit? Surely that counts for something?

I think most people find that the more experience they get, the happier they are pulling a bit lower. If you are happy with pulling at 3,500, stay with that for now, although eventually you'll probably find you get comfortable pulling at 2,500. If you tend to pull at 4k, your break off for formations will be 4,500 or 5,000, and that cuts out a lot of your skydive. Plus, it can make it dangerous on big loads if you pull higher than everyone else...it SHOULDN'T, but it can. In the old days when they didn't get 12,000 as a routine altitude for skydives, they would do demos from 1,500 feet...better planes, more altitude means we can take advantage of that and pull higher...or, we can get longer freefall time. In a normal skydive I would break at 3,500 or 4,000 and deploy at 2,500. Emma

Hey! I hope you all had a weekend that was as good as mine! I can't do the 0:0:0 thing because I always forget which bits means which, BUT... First of all did an 11 point 4 way which was the best RW jump I've ever done... Followed by a bra jump to raise money for Breast Cancer - very hilarious with the transfixed cameramen in the plane, in a Benny Hill stylee, and extremely slippery flying without jumpsuits on...the funnell we managed was particularly..'interesting'. Then, SKREAMER turned up at the DZ.... Coincidence? I think not...In fact, he did have the good grace to admit there was a 'reason' behind this unexpected visit. Thank god most of the baps were away by then...(or was he on the telemeters before we got down?) Anyway, only stayed for a short while, disappearing as mysteriously as he'd arrived. Nice to put a face to a name anywayz..... (Skreamer - nice to meet you yesterday, do come up and join me for a skydive at some point!!! You were only here for 5 minutes!) Highlight of the weekend was my friend's 400th jump which was a NAKED 5-WAY. I can't recommend it highly enough, and although it was kind of funny being nude with 2 other girls in the door of a Let at 12,000 feet, once we exited it was just a lovely experience...Didn't even notice any amusing genital flapping or breast inversion...Although when we got down the whuffo spectators had their binoculars out, the pervs.... Mind you, they prolly think all skydivers are pervy bastards, having witnessed a load of 15 women jumping in fluffy bras, followed by the naked freaks (MOST of whom landed in the square! Although I did NOT!)..... Oh, the other highlight was getting to loop the loop, do a tail spin and a barrel roll in a Cessna! God....I can't BEAR sitting in here now listening to the mundane witterings all around me! No point 'sharing' my weekend with them cos it would just fall on deaf ears, and I can't be bothered to go through it all...think I will do a Doasfu and say I went to the cinema . Oh well! Roll on next Saturday hey? E

He he eh hahahahaha ha HAAAAAA HAAAAAHAHA HA!!!!!! Nothing like a bit of controversy on this fine forum of ours! Glad to see that apart from making ridiculous and false statements about the war and stuff, everyone has managed to remain quite well-balanced.... I knew skydivers weren't like 'other' Americans.... Em

I love hop n pops and from 3k you can get a good bit of freefall anyway, I think. I once went on a cloud base jump and was prepared to exit on my main at 1,500, but when it dropped to 1,250 just before my turn I wimped out and stayed in the plane, although someone did get out behind me. In an aircraft emergency I'd go out low low low, if the alternative was going in with the plane....on my reserve at below 1,000 feet. I do have a Sabre and it opens quite quick, but my pack jobs aren't always totally brilliant! Low exits are fun I think, as long as you are aware and safe. emma

Oh go on then, Carl, I'll be your sales laydeee if you come up with the cool idea. Can I move to the States and skydive like crazy and do I only have to talk to skydivers instead of these CORPORATE WANKERS that currently fill my days? Sorry, slightly off post, I shall end my obsessive rant NOW! Emma

Option 2: a prostitute lives round the corner from me, different block of flats, but same number as mine. I regularly get her punters turning up at my place in error...which is both amusing and a bit scary, since when I open the door they assume I am the whore and eye me up and down like I'm a nice piece of steak. (I sometimes try and get them to admit what they've come for before I embarrass them by telling them to go round the corner for the ILLEGAL SEX they're after ) Heh heh) Anyway...I was thinking...could I set myself up as the pimp, take the cash and tell them to go to the other flat for their pleasure? Or maybe set up a hidden camera on my porch and then blackmail them? Or is that...hmm...blackmail, yes...... Decisions, decisions.... One day I'm sure I'll get someone turning up who I know..and we'll both acknowledge each other and part, he assuming I am a hooker, me knowing he's paying for sex.... Funny old world eh? E

Thanks Monkey...southern accent, you say? If only I had a magical talking computer [sighs]...... BTW, you should see the entries I removed! E

Quick quiz ought to help us tell... ARE YOU AN AMERICAN? Questionnaire 1. You decide that the relationship with your partner is over. How do you break the news you are leaving? (a) Leave a tearful note on the table and slip quietly away. (b) Calmly discuss the reasons with your partner for your decision. (c) Attack them with a chair in front of a rabble of cheering pumped-up inbreds on national television. 2. You and your mates decide to have a game of football in the park. What do you need to take? (a) A ball. (b) A ball and 2 coats. (c) A ball, 50 crash helmets, 4 tons of body armour, 20 cheerleaders, a marching sousaphone band with a grand piano on a trolley, and a team of orthopaedic surgeons specialising in spinal injuries. 3. You are driving along a country road when you accidentally run over a rabbit. What do you do? (a) Stop and see how badly injured it is, taking it to a vet if it is still alive. (b) Carry on driving, but hope it is still alive, or if not, that it died quickly. (c) Strap it across the bonnet of your car and drive home hollering, whooping and throwing empty Budweiser cans out of the window. 4. You wake up in the morning with a stiff neck after sleeping in an awkward position. What do you do? (a) Ignore it. It will probably loosen up as the day progresses. (b) Take a couple of aspirins and get on with things. (c) Take yourself to a prostitute-addicted TV evangelist faithhealer in an ill-fitting wig, who will lay his hands on your head whilst screaming about the devil in front of an audience of gibbering inbreds. 5. What do you have for breakfast? (a) A bowl of Cornflakes, slice of toast and a mug of tea. (b) Glass of orange juice, croissant and a cup of coffee. (c) A bag of donuts with ice cream, a 32 ounce steak with six eggs sunny side-up, fifteen pancakes with maple syrup, ten waffles, five corn dogs and a 48 oz diet root beer. 6. You and your partner decide to take the plunge and get married. What sort of ceremony do you have? (a) A quiet party with a few friends in a registry office. (b) A church service followed by a traditional reception at a hotel. (c) A minute long mockery at a 24 hour drive-through chapel in Las Vegas, presided over by a transvestite vicar dressed as Elvis. 7. Your 14-year-old son is going through a difficult phase, becoming disruptive at school and reclusive at home. What do you do? (a) Don't worry. It's just a phase and will pass. (b) Encourage him to get out more, get involved in team sports or join a youth club. (c) Take him to an armoury and buy him an arsenal of semi- automatic weapons and enough ammunition to slaughter a small town. 8. You fancy a night in watching something funny on TV. What kind of comedy do you choose? (a) A sitcom like Fawlty Towers or Father Ted. (b) A sketch show like the Two Ronnies or the Fast show. (c) A thinly disguised morality play set in a massive lounge where the audience whoop for ten minutes every time an overpaid actor with a superglued grin on his face makes an entrance to deliver a lightweight wisecrack. 9. Whilst getting ready for bed, you stub your toe on your wife's dressing table. What do you do? (a) Shout and swear a bit, after all, it did hurt. (b) Make a mental note to move the table so it doesn't happen again. (c) Immediately call a hotshot lawyer with an uptown reputation, and sue your wife's ass six ways from Sunday. 10. You are responsible for the USA's presidential electoral process. Do you: (a) Count all votes and declare a winner. (b) Count all votes and declare a winner. (c) Let the press declare who's won before the votes are counted, then count only the votes which have been handed in by a deadline whilst not checking if Bud, the hillbilly sheriff of nowheres-ville, has left several thousand votes in the trunk of his Chevy 'by mistake,' then force a recount of only some of the votes within just one state and allow only 12 seconds for the recount to take place; then be amazed that the recount hasn't finished by the deadline and increase the deadline by another 3.2 seconds; then ignore all votes and let 4 judges decide the result, making sure the judges all support the same candidate; then tell other countries how to run their own elections. Answers... If you answered: mostly (a)s & (b)s, then you are a normal well-balanced individual. mostly (c)'s, then......QED Sorry guys, you know I love you all really, and I fully accept that the Brits are all white, fat, spotty, xenophobes (before you point this out to me!)

Sorry if this is old to some of you, but I reckon there are some scary wee nuggets of truth in here...(Not that skydivers drink much or anything...) WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to say tshings like thish. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your trousers. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose name and/or species you can't remember). WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, more attractive, and smarter than some really, really big guy named Franz. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause a flux in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.

hey Borntofly! Enchante! Now...you don't have to be mad to work here.......etc etc Where are you posting from? Somewhere nice? Emma

Duh...did a double post.... SEE? SEE? Fookin mad! Sorreeeeee!

They should be allowed to work while they drink BOOZE if that's what they want! But then again...who cares about them? It's the pilots and other critical DZ employees we don't want catching a whiff of this! No jump pilots to click on this link please! E Edited by emma on 7/20/01 06:43 AM.

http://www.letsgetitoff.com

Shit! Semi and totally naked females? Cavorting??? I was planning on heading over there with me bloke at Xmas but now......well! But I guess Xmas will be cold...fewer naked, pert, Spanish womens' butts, one hopes.... Mind you, now the Spanish men, come to think of it, especially Vince, he does have rather pleasant eyes.....AAARGH! Why does sex always creep insidiously into our skydiving conversations? Or is it just me? A symptom of my mind attaempting to prevent its rotting into corporate mush by thinking about 2 topics (sex/skydiving) more interesting than sales forecasts..... Humph. Hope you have a lovely time cavorting with da laydeeez, Moose! E

Aha! So you'll join me PK? Well baby, guess you n' me's gotta lotta harvesting to do on our own to pay for a day's jumping! If only we could convince the others....... E

Remi! Your wife has a fine ass, what I remember of it! Spanish butts, my ass...mutter mutter...patriotic grumblings stirring.... Make sure you visit the Surf Inn, you'll meet lotsa skydivers and everyone there drinks like fish, especially if you get weathered out for any time... The DZ are also really brilliant as they'll book accommodation for you if you ring them up before you go. They'll also get you a skydivers' discount! Make sure you take your USPA/ BPA membership with you when you arrive, as they are concerned about third party insurance. They also sell some cool Matter freefly gear so if you need any it's worth checking it out. And be careful about exit order, it's quite an 'everyone for themselves' attitude out there and my friend nearly popped through a skysurfer's canopy while we were out there because he didn't mention he was deploying at 5k and hopped out before our 4-way...duh... If you get sick of Empuria, Roses is just 10 mins down the road and it's really pretty and Spanish. Have fun and be safe! Em

I'm Emma and I spend my time hating my job selling software and trying to work out new and inventive ways to make enough money to jump without actually having to a/ sell my soul and b/ dedicate all my time to making the bloody money in the first place... Oh, you all know what I mean..time in the office never seemed as bad before I knew what could actually be going on 2 miles above it... If anyone would like to join me in an anti-consumerist, anti-office skydiving-related venture (don't ask me what - priorities are just make enough to pay for av gas, food and beer) - please POST IT ON HERE! I used to teach English in London comprehensive - holidays rock, pay does not ... Emma

Urgh urgh urgh work is an evil minion of Satan....I still think we should all club together, buy some land in some remote Asian region, set up a DZ and pay for our Av gas and beer with huge sales of our home grown finest marijuana smuggled into the 'Dam.... Ahhhh..how we dream...... E

Point of interest....Playtex, who are providing the bras, had been asked to send us pink ones. However, due the fact that THEY DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH PINK ONES IN D AND E SIZES, they are now, sadly, white. What the hell does THAT say about female skydivers? Well, we know what it says...but WHY? (Myself, unfortunately, excepted from the statistic, coming in at a sorry...well, not D cup, anyway.) BTW, not noticing too much sponsoring going on here, English people....No pressure, but I'm sure it'll be worth every penny - although requiring a mac could be on the optimistic side, Skreamer... E

It's me, my alter-ego is Skywalk....exciting huh? So Remi - will the lovely Karen be indulging in this act of eX-treme insanity and erectus nipplus? E

So we'll see you there then... Bring your own bra and you might even get to join in... Cheers, Emma

Apparently, if you chuck a baby off a building it automatically goes into a stable spread....So I guess skydiving is an inborn instinct? (See? Proof that freefliers are totally unnatural! ) I haven't had the opportunity to try it yet though. Have a nice weekend everyone, hope you have lots and lots of blue sky everywhere you look! Emma