howardwhite 4 #26 January 9, 2011 Here's the Camels ad, a repost. There was also a billboard in Times Square HW Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkeenan 13 #27 January 10, 2011 Quote I’m trying to remember. Do camels have hoofs or toes? Contrary to popular belief, Cameltoes are not actually seen on real camels. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cameltoe_____________________________________ Dude, you are so awesome... Can I be on your ash jump ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #28 January 10, 2011 Quote Quote I’m trying to remember. Do camels have hoofs or toes? Contrary to popular belief, Cameltoes are not actually seen on real camels. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cameltoe ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
steve1 5 #29 January 10, 2011 In a recent survey, 9 out of 10 men who have tried Camels ......... prefer Women!That reminds me of a camel joke.... There was a Foreign Legion colonel assigned to a distant post in the dessert. He was the new commander there, and his first sargent was showing him around. This was a truly desolate place. The colonel asked his sargent what the men did, when they were in need of a woman. The sargent said follow me. They walked around the back of a building, and there stood this huge female camel. The colonel took one look, and said, "I can't believe that anyone would resort to that!" Well, the weeks passed, and this mangy-old camel started to look a little better to the colonel. One day the colonel decided to give it a try. So, there was the colonel and this camel, doing the wild thing. About then the colonel's company of men came marching around the corner. Everyone stopped stone still and stared with disgust on their faces. "What in the hell do you think you're doing," said the sargent!" "I'm just doing what you told me," said the colonel. "No! No! No!", said the sargent....."We ride the camel into town!".......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
monkycndo 0 #30 January 11, 2011 So Pierre had just joined the French foreign legion and his first duty "In country" was to make a very long camel ride across the desert to deliver mail to a distant outpost. The ride was just beyond how long a camel could go without drinking water along the way. The Commandant told the new recruit to talk to Achmed the camel herder for a method to get the camel to drink extra water so as to make the journey safely. So off goes Pierre. Upon finding the camel pen, Pierre asks Achmed to show him the trick. Achmed takes Pierre's camel to the water trough and the camel starts to slurp down water. During this time, the camel herder picks up two big rocks and stands just behind the camel as it drinks. Just as the camel is completely full up and about to finish drinking, Achmed takes the two rocks and knocks them together on the unsuspecting camel's testicles. The camel is so surprised, it gulps down a bunch more water that will allow Pierre to make the journey. Achmed says, "And that is how it's done. Pierre is almost in shock and says, "Man, that has got to hurt". The camel herder replies, "Only if you catch your fingers in between the rocks". 50 donations so far. Give it a try. You know you want to spank it Jump an Infinity Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #31 January 11, 2011 Every day two blonde women would come out of work together and look for their car. But all the cars in the lot looked the same, so they sat around until all the cars were gone and then they would get in the last car and go home. One blonde said to the other, ''We need to find a faster way to get home.'' So the next day they went to work on a camel. After work they came out and the parking lot was full of camels. So the first blonde went around lifting up the tails of all the camels. The second blonde said, ''What are you doing?'' The first blonde said, ''When we came in today I heard someone yell... "'Look at the two assholes on that camel!!'" ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
howardwhite 4 #32 January 11, 2011 I deeply regret starting this thread.HW Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PROGRESSIVE 0 #33 January 11, 2011 Your thread still beats "DB Cooper." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
steve1 5 #34 January 11, 2011 Oh, you guys make me laugh! We're just getting started Howard. Sorry to wreck your great thread. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
steve1 5 #35 January 11, 2011 Have you tried Steve the beaver expert and PM him for advice from a pro. I always wanted to be an expert on beavers.....If I was a little smarter I would have gone into ginecology....(did I spell that right?) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
steve1 5 #36 January 11, 2011 The last time I tried to tell a joke I was with a group of women teachers. Someone else told I joke, so I figured I'd tell one too. I told a joke that another skydiver had told me. It had a rather crude ending. After telling the punch line I started horse laughing and snorting. About then I noticed that almost noone was even laughing. It was very quiet and almost everyone had an uncomfortable look on their face. One old gal looked pissed. Well, I think that was the last time I was asked out to eat lunch with them. I guess I need to work on my social skills.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #37 January 11, 2011 Believe it or not...I have a rather sarcastic sense of humor. Can't tell how many times my wife gives me the 'Buffalo Look' during social occations when I say something that brings out the crickets. I never MEAN to offend, just figure if ya don't get it, yer prolly no fun anyway! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Krip 2 #38 January 12, 2011 Quote Believe it or not...I have a rather sarcastic sense of humor. Can't tell how many times my wife gives me the 'Buffalo Look' during social occations when I say something that brings out the crickets. I never MEAN to offend, just figure if ya don't get it, yer prolly no fun anyway! Hi Mr T The "Buffalo Look" is that the look where you get the "message" even if your backs turned Of course if your married long enough, Even the Buffalo Look become's ineffective We were at a hot dog stand, As soon as I showed up my wife hit me with my first name & a tone in her voice, that I hadn't heard in 36 yr's.I paid extra attention to every word she said, and did exactly what she "suggested" . No questions askedAfter we were alone the wife told me I had sat down next to a dude that had been publicaly humiliating his female companion, he had her trained like a whipped dog (Camel). The dude was a nut job with a very short fuse. My wife didn't want to take a chance with "the look".One Jump Wonder Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Krip 2 #39 January 12, 2011 Quote Have you tried Steve the beaver expert and PM him for advice from a pro. I always wanted to be an expert on beavers.....If I was a little smarter I would have gone into ginecology....(did I spell that right?)Hi Steve Just trying to help out.If the price of beaver fur is down. They might be more $$$ made from land owners that have to have the little critters "relocated" at all costs due to the property damage BTW don't know how to spell that Beaver word either I think Obgyn works. But not really sure if it's the same specialty. Had a dude at the DZ that later graduated from med school and became one of those DR's. The women at the DZ knew the dude for yr's before he left for me school;And new the real person not just a whire coat they were. They said no way under any circumstances, even post morten. Sorry HW couldn't help it [:(One Jump Wonder Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #40 January 12, 2011 Quote Quote Believe it or not...I have a rather sarcastic sense of humor. Can't tell how many times my wife gives me the 'Buffalo Look' during social occasions when I say something that brings out the crickets. I never MEAN to offend, just figure if ya don't get it, yer prolly no fun anyway! Hi Mr T The "Buffalo Look" is that the look where you get the "message" even if your backs turned Of course if your married long enough, Even the Buffalo Look becomes ineffective We were at a hot dog stand, As soon as I showed up my wife hit me with my first name & a tone in her voice, that I hadn't heard in 36 yr's.I paid extra attention to every word she said, and did exactly what she "suggested" . No questions askedAfter we were alone the wife told me I had sat down next to a dude that had been publicly humiliating his female companion, he had her trained like a whipped dog (Camel). The dude was a nut job with a very short fuse. My wife didn't want to take a chance with "the look". The 'Buffalo Look' is my way of describing the experience of have a powerful animal who is facing forward frozen in the moment, move it's eyes slowly to the side...looking at you as if to say, if I were to move my head and acknowledge you are there, I would have to attack and kill you...Once ya see it, you'll never forget it! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jackwallace 3 #41 January 12, 2011 something like this?U only make 2 jumps: the first one for some weird reason and the last one that you lived through. The rest are just filler. scr 316 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JerryBaumchen 1,048 #42 January 12, 2011 Hi Jim, Quote Once ya see it, you'll never forget it! Every married man knows exactly what you are talking about. Been there, done that ( way too many times ), JerryBaumchen PS) There only three people in the world who ever call me 'Gerald,' which is my real name. My mother, my ex-wife & my daughter; and only when I was/am in trouble. You can probably guess the tone that it gets said. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zoobrothertom 5 #43 January 13, 2011 Quote In a recent survey, 9 out of 10 men who have tried Camels ......... prefer Women!That reminds me of a camel joke.... There was a Foreign Legion colonel assigned to a distant post in the dessert. He was the new commander there, and his first sargent was showing him around. This was a truly desolate place. The colonel asked his sargent what the men did, when they were in need of a woman. The sargent said follow me. They walked around the back of a building, and there stood this huge female camel. The colonel took one look, and said, "I can't believe that anyone would resort to that!" Well, the weeks passed, and this mangy-old camel started to look a little better to the colonel. One day the colonel decided to give it a try. So, there was the colonel and this camel, doing the wild thing. About then the colonel's company of men came marching around the corner. Everyone stopped stone still and stared with disgust on their faces. "What in the hell do you think you're doing," said the sargent!" "I'm just doing what you told me," said the colonel. "No! No! No!", said the sargent....."We ride the camel into town!".......... Steve1 and monkycndo You guys talk too much about big camel dicks! Every Araab knows camels are better than women! Here's a test. Drive your camel, your dog and your spouse across the desert with a whip. When you finish whipping their asses to cross that wasteland, look them in the eye and choose your best friend. Doh!! Damn, now I know my dog really loves me...! Okay, we now return you to your regularly scheduled camel jokes......____________________________________ I'm back in the USA!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
