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jumperconway

The Anti-Thesis Approach To Mediocre Competition 4Way

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Well, 4-way fervor is once again sweeping through the local skydive community. To prepare everyone for this year's TSL season, I propose that the members of 2003 Random Chaos hold a seminar for all 4-way teams and aspiring competitors entitled "How not to be disappointed by your TSL performance". We have a lot of valuable experience that we can pass on to these people.

The course syllabus might include the following topics. (Your contributions are welcome):

1. have few plans
2. make even fewer practice jumps
3. always start your practice days later than the other teams - it makes them think that you're already good enough
4. don't sweat the details
5. when time to dirt dive, have teammates absent for smoke and bathroom breaks
6. if you find yourself all alone, don't worry, enjoy the solitude
7. set your goals high (have all 4 competitors survive through the end of the day)
8. gain team consensus on the beer selection for the end of the day (thus, importance of item #7)
9. always have one teammate with an odd jumpsuit color
10. be inclusive, rotate several substitutes into the team over the season
11. change the team name in mid-season for shock value
12. choose a team packer that can guarantee you a soft opening
13. ignore proven methods used by successful teams in debriefing jumps
14. use creeping time to scope out cute tandem students
15. geek the camera between points whenever possible
16. do not be diligent in paying for your video guy's services
17. do not irritate your video guy with long range plans. Five minutes notice prior to each jump is plenty.
18. encourage the biggest teammate to gain weight during the season so he'll have an ever increasing fall rate
19. always complete the last point that you're working on as you pass through break off altitude, even if you have just started a difficult block move

20. keep a firm grip on teammates as they attempt to turn and track. It amuses them.
21. do not set your alarm clock for mornings of TSL meets, as your teammates will be happy to make a wake up call.

All this for a bronze medal!;)












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"How not to be disappointed by your TSL performance".

The most important thing is to just not even care.

If you can get your entire team on board with the "We're just messin' around and having fun" idea. Then you can enjoy an entire pressure free season of substandard performance... and have a great time doin' it!

Here's a couple other ideas as well:

22. It's cool to be the last one to the mock-up! (Try to never get there prior to a 3 minute call... carying your gear).

23. Pass the rock really means throw the rock... as hard as you can! (Only you can talk... so it's a free shot!)

24. Jam the exit with a lit cig hangin' out cher mouth.

25. Toss the lit cig onto the floor of the creeper pad. Those skygods shouldn't be jumpin' barefoot anyway.

26. The coolest teams all do synchronized high performance hook turn landings together. Rookie teams should start learning this now.

27. Sure. You can dirt dive Saturdays competition jumps Friday night if you want. But don't forget... you're wasting valuable drinking time. And the importance of team vibe cannot be overstated.
“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.”

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"How not to be disappointed by your TSL performance".

The most important thing is to just not even care.

26. The coolest teams all do synchronized high performance hook turn landings together. Rookie teams should start learning this now.



Robin,

Should I take this as the first actual advice from the coach of Dallas’ new “Flailing Terror” rookie 4 way team? The hook turns sound like a particularly good idea. I think after 50 jumps I’m ready for those high performance landings and I know some of the other team members are too. Of course they have to complete their A License this weekend so maybe we start hook turn practice next weekend.

Ron

PS: don’t worry people it just a joke….
"We've been looking for the enemy for some time now. We've finally found him. We're surrounded. That simplifies things." CP

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27) never let go of a grip once finally you get it - even if you get hit by team-mates

27 a - alternate version) once you got the grip make a rapid transition to a standup and see how long the others maintain their position
The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle

dudeist skydiver # 666

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Robin,

Should I take this as the first actual advice from the coach of Dallas’ new “Flailing Terror” rookie 4 way team?


Stop calling me that! I keep telling you, man. I'm no 4-way coach. Once we get a few drill dives out of the way, we'll find you someone who is. That said, You're welcome to everything I know about 4-way. (Should take about 20 minutes).

My first advice as Helpful-Guy-Who's-Not-a-Real-4-Way-Coach is: ...to find a 4th...

...and yes. When "Flailing Terror" starts tuning in your High performance team landings I'll definately be on the ground with video camera in hand... to debrief any mistakes that might occur. ;) (How much does Real TV pay for video anyway?)
“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.”

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Robin,My first advice as Helpful-Guy-Who's-Not-a-Real-4-Way-Coach is: ...to find a 4th...



Oh man your gonna make this hard coach. ;)
"We've been looking for the enemy for some time now. We've finally found him. We're surrounded. That simplifies things." CP

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27. Sure. You can dirt dive Saturdays competition jumps Friday night if you want. But don't forget... you're wasting valuable drinking time. And the importance of team vibe cannot be overstated.



Oh man, four way teams in dallas using the ff'ers to train with:S what will happen next:D

Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you.

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27. Sure. You can dirt dive Saturdays competition jumps Friday night if you want. But don't forget... you're wasting valuable drinking time. And the importance of team vibe cannot be overstated.



Oh man, four way teams in dallas using the ff'ers to train with:S what will happen next:D



Good catch! I stand by my statement. Team Vibe are good people, man.

(It's a little known fact that members of our esteemed FF community actually attended a RW TSL meet last year under the name "Your Moma's Booties". There were 3-4 inside video Cameras on every jump lol. I think one person even had an RW suit too!

By the 3rd round they were all goin' "Screw this. Lets go free fly."... It was killin' em.
______________
Can someone grab that Ron guy for a minute? I feel like a puppy is following me home...
“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.”

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Hell, there was a pic of rigger john launching for a belly fly to a hybrid in parachutist last year.:D And most of the draws for the ff rounds last year had some belly to earth points in them. I know those guys can fly in ALL manners, just thought it was funny. Ok carry on. And tell jess to stop showing off with the back flying.;)

Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you.

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Ok carry on. And tell jess to stop showing off with the back flying.;)



She may not have the training. She may not have the jump numbers. But by god she's got guts.

And sometimes... guts is enough.
“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.”

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