Bullying vs straight talk

[wmw999 2,150]

So, it looks like the talk is named based on who's doing it. If it's someone you agree with, then the recipient should "grow a pair" or "quit being a snowflake."

If it's someone you disagree with, it's bullying and therefore despicable.

Do inhale it right?

Or are there other ways to differentiate the two

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[rehmwa 2]

wmw999

So, it looks like the talk is named based on who's doing it. If it's someone you agree with, then the recipient should "grow a pair" or "quit being a snowflake."

If it's someone you disagree with, it's bullying and therefore

the amazing part is one can be a 'bully' and a 'snowflake' at the same time without ever changing their position

it's like yoga - but without the annoying coach

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[quade 3]

I dunno. When I was a kid a person's dad, or scout leader, or coach would take him aside and give him simple advice about how things really worked and we called that "straight talk."

Bullies, on the other hand were pricks shouting individuals, usually weaker than themselves, in order to boost their ego and to get their way regardless of the rules.

To me, the difference remains crystal clear.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[Elisha 1]

quade

I dunno. When I was a kid a person's dad, or scout leader, or coach would take him aside and give him simple advice about how things really worked and we called that "straight talk."

Bullies, on the other hand were pricks shouting individuals, usually weaker than themselves, in order to boost their ego and to get their way regardless of the rules.

To me, the difference remains crystal clear.

If you're going to be that polarizing and literal, then is the military just bad and needs to stop abusing people with those mean drill seargants and stuff?

I think you need to clarify a bit more.

[quade 3]

Elisha

***I dunno. When I was a kid a person's dad, or scout leader, or coach would take him aside and give him simple advice about how things really worked and we called that "straight talk."

Bullies, on the other hand were pricks shouting individuals, usually weaker than themselves, in order to boost their ego and to get their way regardless of the rules.

To me, the difference remains crystal clear.

If you're going to be that polarizing and literal, then is the military just bad and needs to stop abusing people with those mean drill seargants and stuff?

I think you need to clarify a bit more.

Statement still stands. A Drill Sergeant is a type of coach. Some are also bullies, but not usually. Usually they do have your best interests at heart as opposed to simply "winning" in the Charlie Sheen sense.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[riggerrob 561]

The best military instructors start by clearly describing their expectations. If a recruit does not meet those expectations, he/she receives encouragement or negative reinforcement until they meet expectations. The best instructors push students beyond their previous limits and help them achieve far more than they thought possible.

OTOH Bullies never set clear goals. Bullies only dispense negative reinforcement. If a victim is doing things properly, the bully invents excuses for more negative reinforcement.

Straight talk means being brutally honest, without sugar-coating.
Skydivers tend to value truths more than the general public, because they would much rather hear "If you keep landing like that you are going to die!" than lament their poor habits in a hospital bed.
OTOH, lawyers rarely tell half the truth and it takes years - and advanced education - to read "legal jargon" (aka boilerplate). Lawyers like to pretend that they are trying not to hurt your feelings, but the confusion and half-truths only ruin confidence in the legal industry.

[quade 3]

"Did you order the Code Red?"

If you're saying there are absolutely no bully DIs, then I think you're fooling yourself. The math alone suggests there's at least a couple.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[winsor 187]

quade

Statement still stands. A Drill Sargent is a type of coach. Some are also bullies, but not usually. Usually they do have your best interests at heart as opposed to simply "winning" in the Charlie Sheen sense.

The military trainer who most impressed me was a Mustang, who bore no resemblance to the F. Lee Armey type of D.I.. It seems he was a First Sergeant at a Fire Base that came under attack somewhere in Vietnam. A lucky shot with a mortar took out all of the officers, who were being given their orders by the C.O. as the battle broke out.

The First Sergeant took over, rallying the troops, calling in fire support and repelling the attackers. The next morning a Colonel orbiting the base in a LOH radioed to speak to the Commanding Officer. Being told that the person who had successfully organized the defense of the base was an E.M., the Colonel's response was basically "not anymore, Lieutenant."

One of his duties after attending OCS was training recruits, and he was a 1st Lt. when I met him.

Compared to the typical instructors at the time, he was truly remarkable. When he said that his goal was to prepare us so that as many as possible would make it home, it was clear that he was serious and people paid attention. I certainly did.

OTOH you have Herbert Sobel, C.O. of E 2/506 through their training phase. Roundly hated for being capricious, vindictive, and an all around officious prick, a number of his company later admitted that his approach likely contributed to the number of his Company that survived the war. They still hated his guts for preparing them for just how unfair their lot in life was to become.

Personally, I'll take Lt. Smith telling me to show respect for the enemy and to avoid being blinded by anger. Having someone screaming at me and being a total asshole never seemed to be an effective approach.

YMMV.


BSBD,

Winsor

[rushmc 18]

quade

I dunno. When I was a kid a person's dad, or scout leader, or coach would take him aside and give him simple advice about how things really worked and we called that "straight talk."

Bullies, on the other hand were pricks shouting individuals, usually weaker than themselves, in order to boost their ego and to get their way regardless of the rules.

To me, the difference remains crystal clear.

Yes

To me as well.

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[JerryBaumchen 1,068]

Hi winsor,

Quote

who most impressed me was a Mustang

While it is only a moment in time, the worst officer I ever served under was a Mustang. Some good - Some not.

Quote

you have Herbert Sobel

And a failure in later life. He even attempted suicide & made a mess of that.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbert_Sobel

I had three instructors in USAF First Phase Basic Training. One was a bully & the other two were really nice guys. C'est la vie.

Jerry Baumchen

[Elisha 1]

riggerrob

The best military instructors start by clearly describing their expectations. If a recruit does not meet those expectations, he/she receives encouragement or negative reinforcement until they meet expectations. The best instructors push students beyond their previous limits and help them achieve far more than they thought possible.

OTOH Bullies never set clear goals. Bullies only dispense negative reinforcement. If a victim is doing things properly, the bully invents excuses for more negative reinforcement.

Straight talk means being brutally honest, without sugar-coating.
Skydivers tend to value truths more than the general public, because they would much rather hear "If you keep landing like that you are going to die!" than lament their poor habits in a hospital bed.
OTOH, lawyers rarely tell half the truth and it takes years - and advanced education - to read "legal jargon" (aka boilerplate). Lawyers like to pretend that they are trying not to hurt your feelings, but the confusion and half-truths only ruin confidence in the legal industry.

Much better explanation. Thanks.