Single Parents in the Armed Forces

[SkyDekker 1,150]

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Skydecker I would like to thank you for fucking up this perfectly good thread with invectives about peoples assumed political leanings.

I am sorry I am standing in your way to tar and feather her.

[airdvr 200]

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I can't fault her for that choice considering the known circumstances.

I get that.

I'm old enough to remember women's struggle to join the armed forces in a combat ready position.

She has discredited all of the hard work women before her did to gain acceptance. She has shown that in a difficult situation she will choose what's best for her and not honor her commitment. She should not be in the military.

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Don't know why you address that to me, I am neither American nor liberal.

ANd yet you feel compelled to pass judgement on conservatives...lol.

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

[SkyDekker 1,150]

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She has shown that in a difficult situation she will choose what's best for her and not honor her commitment.

No, she chose what's best for her child.

[airdvr 200]

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She has shown that in a difficult situation she will choose what's best for her and not honor her commitment.

No, she chose what's best for her child.

Thanks for making my point.

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

[sandi 0]

What I got out of my reading is that she had a Family Care Plan. When it got close to deployment time her mom decided she couldn't handle the additional responsibility. With deployment drawing near and her plan gone she discussed the situation with a superior who told her to put her child in foster care. Obviously not an option. It appears that is not the military's policy (at least I hope they do not force people to abandon their children) but I don't find it too hard to believe that a superior would have said that to her. It sounds like she tried to take the necessary steps and was left with the possibility of losing her child. She made the decision to take care of her child.

As far a personal responsibility goes (previous posters). Once you become a parent, your first responsibility is to your child. Living up to your responsibility for your child is personal responsibility.

[SkyDekker 1,150]

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Thanks for making my point.

yes, abandoning the child would have clearly been the better and patriotic choice.

[bullin82 0]

I guess this consept is getting hard for some.

there is an open door policy

The Army wont and cant force you to put your child into foster care, unless you are imprisoned for a violation of UCMJ. this policy is no different than in the civi world.

Yes she had a plan but it fell apart, at that point she should have taken action to let the appropriate people know. Sounds like she tryed and her immediate leadership decided to lie to her about Army policy, at which time she should have sought advice elsewhere maybe from one of the MANY resources available to her.

But what do i know ive only been in the Army for 9 years and deployed several times.

[Andrewwhyte 1]

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As far a personal responsibility goes (previous posters). Once you become a parent, your first responsibility is to your child. Living up to your responsibility for your child is personal responsibility.

I agree wholeheartedly. However demanding that the rest of the world work around your family doesn't work either. As I have no doubt you have learned, planning is a major part of responsible parenthood. That and recognizing the sacrifices you will have to make so as to not ask everyone else to make them. This woman does not seem to have done that.

[sandi 0]

I agree, planning is very important for parents, particulary for single parents and she didn't have a good plan. But the situation in that moment was that she was scheduled to be deployed (after having informed her superior of the situation) and had no one to care for her child. Better planning and correct information from her superior could have avoided the situation entirely.

[Ron 7]

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Umm, she had the plan in place. Her mother back very close to her deployment date. There doesn't appear to be other family capable.

Her mother RUNS A DAYCARE. She knew exactly how much trouble this would be.

Now, I don't *know*... But this sure seems like just a tactic to prevent from being deployed.

She should be removed from the service IMO... Nothing punitive, just separated.

"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334

[SkyDekker 1,150]

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Her mother RUNS A DAYCARE.

daycare and 24 hour personal care are two different issues.

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She should be removed from the service IMO... Nothing punitive, just separated.

What about the superior who told her she would have to put her child in foster care? What about him?

[Ron 7]

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daycare and 24 hour personal care are two different issues.

Her mother had also raised at least TWO other children. So, she knew the commitment. Plus how many people have the ability to take care of a child while at WORK????

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What about the superior who told her she would have to put her child in foster care? What about him?

*If* he actually said that, then he should be reprimanded. My thought is that he knew she was just trying to get out of a deployment by using the child as an excuse. Believe it or not, people have used kids to prevent from being deployed before, to the point of getting pregnant to avoid deployment.

"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334

[SkyDekker 1,150]

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Believe it or not, people have used kids to prevent from being deployed before, to the point of getting pregnant to avoid deployment.

Oh I believe it, and don't agree with it. And *if* she did this to get out of her deployment she should be punished for it. I am just not as quick to judge one person on the prior behaviour of others.

Secondly, if her superior made that statement, without verifying anything, on a hunch or an assumption, he is not fit to lead mice to a cheese supply. That would be one of the worst examples of leadership.

[Ron 7]

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I am just not as quick to judge one person on the prior behaviour of others.

Nonsense... your statements seem quite ready to blame the command.

"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334

[SkyDekker 1,150]

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Nonsense... your statements seem quite ready to blame the command.

Based on what is known now, yes I blame leadership. Specially if the superior thought she was using this to try and get out of deployment and that is all he said.

I am not basing the judgement on the prvious actions by different leadership....see the difference?

[bullin82 0]

This is truley very simple, just about everyone on this post have at one point or another agreed with each other on some points.

The fact is wether she did this to get out of deployment or just a classic case of PPP (Piss Poor Planning=Piss Poor Performance) BOTH herslef and her leadership failed to do what they were suppose to do.

It was stated once before stick her on Rear Det and figure things out later, she will be reprimanded but she wont be faceing AWOL charges.

[wmw999 2,163]

Some people just like to argue. You make a lot of sense.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[bullin82 0]

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Some people just like to argue. You make a lot of sense.

Wendy P.

If this is ment for me that would be the first time ive been accused of making sense lol. I tend to lack a proper vocab to get my point out lol.

[Andrewwhyte 1]

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Some people just like to argue.

No we don't.

[BIGUN 1,090]

Max,

Sounds like a symphony of errors on both her and her leadership. Since I've been out for awhile, perhaps you could answer a question for me. When she found out that her Family Care Plan was no longer valid; could she not have submitted for a Humanitarian Transfer or Hardship Discharge? Or, do they not offer that anymore.

On a separate note... I do not think that single parents (male or female) should be allowed to enlist and those who become single parents after enlistment should receive an administrative discharge. Sorry, but it's the military, not corporate America. Soldiers have to wrap themselves around the unit's objectives unencumbered by issues with being a single parent.

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[bullin82 0]

You are right she could have placed a request for either one of those solutions as well as some others.

As far as your opinion sadly even since when i started in the Army things have gotten "easier" for soldiers. Now basic training is low stress so future soldiers wont have such a hard time. Its just rediculas on how much they cater to peoples wants when before it was the needs were good enough.

In the last few years ive seen soldiers enter the service that never should have been allowed to pass basic, theres a lack of disipline, knowledge, and professionalism.

Now thats my opinion.

[Gawain 0]

Well it's done, it doesn't provide a great amount of detail, but she's being discharged, and based on this quote:

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The decision still carries consequences for Hutchinson. She is being demoted in rank to private and will lose benefits afforded to military service members and veterans, Fort Stewart spokesman Kevin Larson said.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_soldier_mom_deployment

So, this "administrative" discharge appears to be akin to "conditions less than honorable". I'm guessing it's not dishonorable since a military court was not convened.

In light of some of the news mentioned here, if it was her intent to back out of deployment she still f**k*d it all up. Now, she will be able come back to California, not be able to find a job (even in good economic times), and well, go on the dole...why the hell not?

In the end, it was probably the best solution for the Army, they cleared their books on this one, and fast too. Hutchinson will have to live with the consequences. It's a sad story, it's still something this woman could have easily avoided if she truly wanted to.

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[redlegphi 0]

I'm actually having a very similar situation right now with a Soldier we left back on Rear Det. In case you're curious, the way we're handling it (and the "correct" solution) was to tell him he had 30 days to come up with a new Family Care Plan. When that 30 days runs out, he'll be Chaptered out (he has already stated that he won't be able to come up with a new plan to care for his children). Problem solved without any involvement from the media.
Personally, I have no issue with single parents (or dual military parents) in the Army, so long as they take their committment seriously and fulfill their duties to their fellow servicemembers. There are thousands such Soldiers who make positive contributions to our armed services every day, and I salute their sacrifice.

[shropshire 0]

[replyThe Army wont and cant force you to put your child into foster care, unless you are imprisoned for a violation of UCMJ. this policy is no different than in the civi world..