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Richards 0
QuoteQuoteSpending time with their kids (instead of letting/sending them to their rooms to be alone with their computers) - That might be a good start....
um.. parenting, I think it's called.
It's not rocket science... but I know that it's difficult to put the gennie back in the bottle.
I agree with you that it is an issue of parenting and that is one of the points I tried (and obviously failed) to articulate in my post. The question is as you pointed out, how to get parents to act like parents.
My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within.
Nope ... you made your point well. I was just carrying on from my earlier theme. I entirely agreed with your post.
(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome
(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome
skycop 0
The political correct answer would be "better parenting." In reality it would be not to have a victim mentality. I've taught my kids from day one not to fight however, if someone bullies them or they feel threatened, then the best defense is a good offense. Even a small kid standing up to a bully normally cures that behavior. Other kids will stand up for a weak one if he/she stands up for themselves. My kids didn't fight much, but I learned later they stood up for kids they really didn't like. I guess that would be good parenting, so maybe it does come back to that.
"Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!"
"Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!"
Richards 0
QuoteQuoteThe political correct answer would be "better parenting." In reality it would be not to have a victim mentality. I've taught my kids from day one not to fight however, if someone bullies them or they feel threatened, then the best defense is a good offense. Even a small kid standing up to a bully normally cures that behavior.
I suspect that your approach may be a bit outdated given our current political environment. Today if your kid hits back and the bully gets hurt you will be sued. Furthermore the school wil make an example of your kid because the parents of the bully will be screaming at the principle that they will sue the school he does not punish your child for hurting their precious little child.
This also only works at the elementary school level anyway. When you and I were kids it would work because the bully would look even more like a coward if after backing down from you (when you stood up to him) he went and got his buddies to come back him up for a second round. Today, high school kids feel no shame in getting a few friends to help them unlevel the playing field if thier intended target is willing to stand up for himself. It does not seem to have any stigma attached to it anymore and is rather the norm. Not to mention kids nowadays will bring weapons into a conflict without hesitation.
In heart yes I agree with your aproach towards teaching your kids to stand up for themselves but kids today face greater threats than you and I did (unless you went to a really nasty school).My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within.
skycop 0
I see what you're saying BUT, so far, it's worked like a charm. I've got a nerd and an jock(what a combo
). I told my nerd if you are picked on, laugh at the person, it drives them nuts! She is in college now and she still talks about it. My jock is still in high school and he has never been in a fight.
He knows if he fights, number one he better win, number two, number one better have been serious enough too fight in the first place. I've come to find out that he has put himself between would-be bullies and victims and dared the bully to start something. That in itself makes me proud.
"Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!"
I smoked 82 joints in 8th grade.QuoteFirst of all, they do not fear their parents or father as it should be.
I am not in favor of abuse, but it should be ingrained upon them that if they fuck up and become a bully, their own father will hurt them so bad they may not ever contemplate the thought again.
I was in over 82 fights in eighth grade alone, but if I had been a bully, my dad would have beaten me to death.
I was very afraid once for beating tow kids senseless, I was driven home by the dean of students for it, he told me on the way home "I was a scrapper once" he did it with a smile and a wink.
Thank you Eugene Testor(Dean of Students) for not turning me into the law enforcement officials for merely giving those two bullies what they deserved for attacking me with a baseball bat the night before.
My dad said only one thingto me about it, he said "it's a good thing you did not kill them."
When their parents showed up to our home they were screaming lunatics, and after just a sentence or two from my dad, they quickly left before they got the same.
I went to junior high school, in a formerly condemned HS, with every malfeasant that was in our district, the second largest in the entire state.
I know alot about bullies.
If they wanted to fight I just gave a joint and told em to chill. Actually I was in one fight w/ a bully. Went toe to toe for 10 mins. w/ a couple short breaks. Called it a draw. Nobody messed w/ me after that. The answer today is I don't have clue in todays world. My kids were tough. Nobody messed w/ em and didn't and they didn't mess w/ anybody. Comes down to (to be politically correct) PARENTING IMO.I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
Agreed
Times are different now, kids pull guns etc.
I guess if I had to do it all again I would either be dead or in prison.
Things have not improved all that much here except now it seems that the white kids are attacked, and the attackers are not punished.
They have a new high school, all the things we never had, and the kids seem to think someone is holding them back, yet they wear expensive clothing, jewelry, cellphones, ipods, and drive nice new cars.
Yeah the man is holding them down, so why not attack a few white kids minding their own business, getting good grades, spending their out of school time studying, and riding horses.
the kids that seem to be having a chip on their shoulder cannot seem to keep their grades up, stay out of trouble, nor stay away from "gangsta" mentalities.
Times are different now, kids pull guns etc.
I guess if I had to do it all again I would either be dead or in prison.
Things have not improved all that much here except now it seems that the white kids are attacked, and the attackers are not punished.
They have a new high school, all the things we never had, and the kids seem to think someone is holding them back, yet they wear expensive clothing, jewelry, cellphones, ipods, and drive nice new cars.
Yeah the man is holding them down, so why not attack a few white kids minding their own business, getting good grades, spending their out of school time studying, and riding horses.
the kids that seem to be having a chip on their shoulder cannot seem to keep their grades up, stay out of trouble, nor stay away from "gangsta" mentalities.
LuvToFly 0
QuoteThe political correct answer would be "better parenting." In reality it would be not to have a victim mentality. I've taught my kids from day one not to fight however, if someone bullies them or they feel threatened, then the best defense is a good offense.
This is exactly what I taught my kids growing up. They knew if they ever tried to bully anyone, they'd have to answer to me. At the same time, I told them to walk away, avoid the bullies.
However, if the person was going to cause bodily harm to them, then they had my permission to use whatever means necessary to stop themselves from being harmed. And they did.
Those who suspect the parents, are very right-on. Parents I never saw in my life before came out of the woodwork to complain about their "johnny's" black eye if one of my kids kicked their son's ass to keep 'em from harming them. Amazing -
And as far as PC, don't care. There is a line that no one should be able to cross with your kids. Name-calling, etc is one thing, but harming your kids is another thing.
I'm with Skycop all the way on this one -
"The helicopter approaches closer than any other to fulfillment
of mankind's ancient dreams of a magic carpet" - Igor Sikorsky
Richards 0
QuoteHe knows if he fights, number one he better win
Huh?
Anyway, Kudos to you for having done a good job as a parent (it is the hardest job on the planet). Sounds like your kids have developed well.
Every case is different but your core ideas are correct. There still needs to be greater effort at the administrative level to deal with the problem.
My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within.
skycop 0
Not a macho statement,
It better be damn well important that he got in a fight, hence winning.
"Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!"
It better be damn well important that he got in a fight, hence winning.
"Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!"
"Winning isn't everthing. It's how you play the game."QuoteNot a macho statement,
It better be damn well important that he got in a fight, hence winning.
That's what I was taught many moons ago.I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
Andy9o8 0
Quote"Winning isn't everthing. It's how you play the game."QuoteNot a macho statement,
It better be damn well important that he got in a fight, hence winning.That's what I was taught many moons ago.
"Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing."
-Vince Lombardi
Richards 0
QuoteQuoteNot a macho statement,
It better be damn well important that he got in a fight, hence winning.
I'm sorry but if he is facing a better opponent he will lose regardless of the rightness of his cause. I admire the fact that you want him to stand up for himself but with an unrealistic expectation like that what if some nasty savage kicks his ass? Will he realize that it was OK for him to lose? There are all kinds of people out there that I know I could never beat no matter how hard I tried. I would stand up for myself but I would not hang my head in shame if someone bigger or tougher cleaned the floor with me. It happens.
My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within.
Coreece 190
QuoteSchool Bullies: What to do about them?
wedgie proof underwear.....
http://www.clickondetroit.com/video/14560888/index.html
Your secrets are the true reflection of who you really are...
QuoteQuoteQuoteNot a macho statement,
It better be damn well important that he got in a fight, hence winning.
I'm sorry but if he is facing a better opponent he will lose regardless of the rightness of his cause. I admire the fact that you want him to stand up for himself but with an unrealistic expectation like that what if some nasty savage kicks his ass?
Will he realize that it was OK for him to lose?
There are all kinds of people out there that I know I could never beat no matter how hard I tried.
I would stand up for myself but I would not hang my head in shame if someone bigger or tougher cleaned the floor with me.
It happens.
Wow...
![[:/]](/uploads/emoticons/dry.png "[:/]"){kind=small}
Okay, here IS a macho statement:
I've never lost a fight in my life, (outside of the ring) because MY father impressed upon me two things~
NEVER start a fight.
The fight isn't over until you win.
I've taught my two boys the same principles, I believe it builds character.
They don't start fights, they're athletes not bullies, and they don't think it's 'okay' to lose at anything.
Edited to add: Harden the fuck up!
~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~
I am with Richards, sometimes the little guy picked on has no chance against the bully. Actually that is why they are called bullies because they pick on phisically weaker kids.
When i was a kid one of the school bullies was silver medal in the spanish junior taekwondo championships. Go figure, if he decided to pick on you you better be good in athletism.
It seems that now there is more bulling than before, but i think that kids now are reporting it more and more. A good thing would be to make easier for the kids to report bulling cases anonimously so the teachers would now where to look at. Sort of a blog or a web page. In Spain we have a telephone number where kids can call to report school abuses. It has been necesary to take this measures after a couple of students have commit suicide in the past years and there has been many video feeds on internet with bullies beating up kids recorded with mobiles.
When i was a kid one of the school bullies was silver medal in the spanish junior taekwondo championships. Go figure, if he decided to pick on you you better be good in athletism.
It seems that now there is more bulling than before, but i think that kids now are reporting it more and more. A good thing would be to make easier for the kids to report bulling cases anonimously so the teachers would now where to look at. Sort of a blog or a web page. In Spain we have a telephone number where kids can call to report school abuses. It has been necesary to take this measures after a couple of students have commit suicide in the past years and there has been many video feeds on internet with bullies beating up kids recorded with mobiles.
um.. parenting, I think it's called.
It's not rocket science... but I know that it's difficult to put the gennie back in the bottle.
(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome
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