BillyVance 34 #1 November 10, 2005 President Bush has authorized the Joint Chiefs to begin drawing up a battle plan to pull France's ass out of the fire again. Facing an apparent overwhelming force of up to 400 pissed off teenagers Mr. Bush doubts France's ability to hold off the little piss ants. "Hell, if the last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to surrender any day now", said Bush. Joint Chiefs head, Gen. Peter Pace, warned the President that it might be necessary to send up to 5 marines to get things under control. The general admitted that 5 marines may be overkill but he wanted to get this thing under control within 24 hours of arriving on scene. He stated he was having a hard time finding even one marine to help those ungrateful bastards out for a third time but thought that he could persuade a few women marines to do the job before they went on pregnancy leave. President Bush asked Gen. Pace to get our marines out of there as soon as possible after order was restored. He also reminded Gen. Pace to make sure the marines did not take soap, razors, or deodorant with them. The less they stand out the better."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Erroll 49 #2 November 10, 2005 QuoteThe general admitted that 5 marines may be overkill..... The old "Shock and awe" strategy? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vpozzoli 0 #3 November 10, 2005 Quotehe general admitted that 5 marines may be overkill... Yeah right, better not send too many or they might get confused and start shooting each other... Vale Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dropoutdave 0 #4 November 10, 2005 Did you hear about the new French tank? It's got 15 gears, 14 in reverse and one forward....incase they attack from behind. ------------------------------------------------------ May Contain Nut traces...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #5 November 10, 2005 Quote..."Hell, if the last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to surrender any day now", said Bush.... ROTFLMAOPIMP My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
christelsabine 1 #6 November 10, 2005 QuoteDid you hear about the new French tank? It's got 15 gears, 14 in reverse and one forward....incase they attack from behind. Ah no, little silly Do not confuse them: These were the Italians! The French tanks are equipped with red velvet covered seats and a battery of cognac and red wine bottles instead of ammunition dudeist skydiver # 3105 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mr2mk1g 10 #7 November 10, 2005 Only in an effort to join in the fun you understand: In a press release today Bush rescinded his earlier orders to send 5 Marines to assist France with their recent social unrest. Citing previous US military action in France the President confirmed that the troubles in Paris had not yet been going on long enough but that the US would indeed become involved but not for at least 3 or 4 years and then only if Japan attacked them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 1,672 #8 November 10, 2005 QuoteDid you hear about the new French tank? It's got 15 gears, 14 in reverse and one forward....incase they attack from behind. I first heard that in 1964. In 1965 (Sir) David Frost told it on "That Was The Week That Was". Only 40 years ago.... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 1,672 #9 November 10, 2005 QuoteQuote..."Hell, if the last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to surrender any day now", said Bush.... ROTFLMAOPIMP France didn't surrender in WWI. But who'd expect an idiot to know that?... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #10 November 10, 2005 Geez...you're an old fart..My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mr2mk1g 10 #11 November 10, 2005 To be thoroughly inclusive I might add: The German leader, Angela Merckel today announced that Germany interpreted the French riots as a sign of weakness and as such they would begin an immediate invasion... of Belgium. British PM Tony Blair also made a statement confirming that he had signed a pact with the Portuguese President and was mobilizing British Forces to invade Spain in response to the Parisian unrest. Meanwhile a British Fleet lies off the Island of Walcheren where it is thought an expeditionary force will be landed later in the day. British hospitals and mortuaries are being readied for the thousands of dead and dying troops expected, although no military resistance is actually anticipated from any opposing army. (ok so maybe only scholars of military history will actually get it...) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 1,672 #12 November 10, 2005 QuoteTo be thoroughly inclusive I might add: The German leader, Angela Merckel today announced that Germany interpreted the French riots as a sign of weakness and as such they would begin an immediate invasion... of Belgium. British PM Tony Blair also made a statement confirming that he had signed a pact with the Portuguese President and was mobilizing British Forces to invade Spain in response to the Parisian unrest. Meanwhile a British Fleet lies off the Island of Walcheren where it is thought an expeditionary force will be landed later in the day. British hospitals and mortuaries are being readied for the thousands of dead and dying troops expected, although no military resistance is actually anticipated from any opposing army. (ok so maybe only scholars of military history will actually get it...) Wasting your time. Scholars of military history would know that the US military, while excellent on the battlefield, has a rather mediocre record in policing civil unrest so the entire premise of this so-called joke is fundamentally flawed. Do the words "Kent State" ring a bell?... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
christelsabine 1 #13 November 10, 2005 QuoteTo be thoroughly inclusive I might add: The German leader, Angela Merckel Gerhard Schröder, today announced that Germany interpreted the French riots as a sign of weakness and as such they would begin an immediate invasion... of Belgium. British PM Tony Blair also made a statement confirming that he had signed a pact with the Portuguese President and was mobilizing British Forces to invade Spain in response to the Parisian unrest. Meanwhile a British Fleet lies off the Island of Walcheren where it is thought an expeditionary force will be landed later in the day. British hospitals and mortuaries are being readied for the thousands of dead and dying troops expected, although no military resistance is actually anticipated from any opposing army. (ok so maybe only scholars of military history will actually get it...) I have to insist on that correction. And now for the rest.... dudeist skydiver # 3105 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #14 November 10, 2005 Geez Kallend...no fun allowed in SC? No room for satire?My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
valcore 0 #15 November 10, 2005 You really are an old fart The most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I'm from the government and I'm here to help’. ~Ronald Reagan 30,000,000 legal firearm owners killed no one yesterday. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mr2mk1g 10 #16 November 10, 2005 ah, she not taken over yet or are you just trying to insist on the old guard really being the one's who actually still hold the power? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
christelsabine 1 #17 November 10, 2005 No, G. Schröder does not have any more power in hands. He just is our "leader" for remaining 12 days. In fact, there is no skipper on board any longer - and most of us don't care dudeist skydiver # 3105 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 1,672 #18 November 10, 2005 QuoteGeez Kallend...no fun allowed in SC? No room for satire? It isn't satire if it is not rooted in truth.... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 1,672 #19 November 10, 2005 QuoteYou really are an old fart That's "Geezer" to you, sonny boy.... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
markd_nscr986 0 #20 November 10, 2005 Hey.......Just be careful who you call an "old fart"Marc SCR 6046 SCS 3004 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
valcore 0 #21 November 10, 2005 QuoteQuoteYou really are an old fart That's "Geezer" to you, sonny boy. sorry sir "old Geezer" The most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I'm from the government and I'm here to help’. ~Ronald Reagan 30,000,000 legal firearm owners killed no one yesterday. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dropoutdave 0 #22 November 10, 2005 Ahhh, I just read it in a magazine that had boobs in it yesterday. ------------------------------------------------------ May Contain Nut traces...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crwtom 0 #23 November 11, 2005 Quote Wasting your time. Scholars of military history would know that the US military, while excellent on the battlefield, has a rather mediocre record in policing civil unrest Even in the open battlefield the really outstanding trademark of US warfare is not the ground battle - it is the massive relentless aerial bombardement. Only after the earth is scorched and about all is in ashes the boots hit the ground. It's been like that in WWII and in the Iraq Wars. Cheers, T ******************************************************************* Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #24 November 11, 2005 Yeah US mil sucks at this restricted warfare crap. However when it comes to unrestricted roll over the other side campaign we accel at that.Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,463 #25 November 11, 2005 >Yeah US mil sucks at this restricted warfare crap. However when it > comes to unrestricted roll over the other side campaign we accel at > that. Unfortunately our enemies have figured that out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
